Black Women in Fandoms 106: The Trick Is To Make You Think We’re In This Together, When Really They’re Dancing On Your Bloodied Corpse



It’s been a while since I wrote a post about on this topic; three years actually. And if you haven’t read my posts on Black Women in the Media I would advise you to do that now. (If you are new I would especially recommend this so you’ll have some sort of frame of reference.)

I know I said, after the debacle that was the response to the posts below, that I was done writing about black women in the media. But in light of recent events I’ve decided to dig up the corpse of these posts and build myself a zombie.

Although I’ve severely limited what I’ve been watching lately I do keep up with the news enough to know what’s been going on recently. But in case you missed it here’s a quick rundown of the insanity I’ve seen concerning black women in the media.

  • Masses of deluded and mentally ill black women came out to support “Straight out of Compton” and give it a billion dollar opening.
  • Zoe Saldana was cast in a biopic for Nina Simone in which someone decided it would be a good idea to spray paint her dark brown and give her a fake nose.
  • Yet *another* television about slaves has been produced. (I guess we’ve digressed that far)
  • Blacks completely foamed at the mouth when they realized they were overlooked again for the Oscars.
  • Black women decided to flock to another television show with what will surely turn out to be a place hold black woman’s face on the show “Outsiders”. (I guess we’re still trying kicking that)
  • Beyoncé decided to speak for all black women when she #mammied herself at the Super Bowl for the Black Penises
  • Coon…Ahem.. I mean Kevin Hart continues to land roles using Black women’s resources.
  • Rachel Dolezel, Black Woman Impersonator continues escape persecution for using
  • Melissa Harris Perry got kicked to the curb on MSNBC.
  • Abbie Mills was killed off Sleepy Hollow. *shock and gasp!*

After watching debacle after debacle, the most important thing I’ve noticed in all of the discourse surrounding these events is that people who have been *directly* benefiting from the continued demise of black women would like us to believe that we’re in some bad sequel to High School Musical and we’re really “All in this Together”.

I’ve spoken before about the dangers of not being able to identify what an ally is.

Unfortunately, too many black women are still confused.  So I’ll repeat myself.  It is impossible to TRULY ally with someone who is directly benefiting from YOUR misfortune.

And just in case you were skimming this post I’ll say it twice.

It is IMPOSSIBLE to be TRUE allies with people who are, not only directly benefitting from your misfortune, but are actively INVESTING it.

With that said, I want black women to get something clear: There are few mistakes in Hollywood. Almost everything is deliberate. The people who have made hundreds of billions of dollars (and that’s just sometimes on ONE movie) didn’t just “accidentally” screw you into the ground.


That crap is D-E-L-I-B-E-R-A-T-E.

There are no mistakes.

Zoe Saldana didn’t just casually wander onto the set for the Nina Simone Biopic and then the director just felt sorry for her and let her stay.

These Networks didn’t reluctantly cast stereotypical black women on their shows because there just weren’t any non-stereotypical ones.

That umpteenth show about NEGROS relishing in SLAVERY didn’t just “accidently” get greenlit.

The writers didn’t “accidentally” cast a black woman as “Lead” only to have her as a place HOLD until they brought in light skinned/ white women as her replacement.

The NETWORKS are NOT unware of the offensive things their black male actors have vomited all over social media.

The producers and “showrunners” have FULL authority to make certain actresses’ lives miserable until they want to quit.  And they ARE capable of it.

The networks are fully aware that when they paint certain black face wearing, conniving women as sympathetic to the masses they are doing a colossal disservice to black women.

The networks and executives didn’t “accidently” manage to use black female faces to attract “perpetually surprised” black women to their television shows and then “spontaneously” decide to dump them.

[Please read this recent post by Muslim Bushido in which she talks about previous posts on this exact topic ]

The networks and executives didn’t simply hire biracial actress to REPLACE unambiguous black women because they were SO talented they couldn’t be passed up.

The academy wasn’t actually unaware that they nominated NO blacks for their awards. (Despite all the people having tantrums on twitter. Lol)


You are being played, hoodwinked, deceived, duped, tricked, conned.

Somehow in the biggest con of all time, black women have actually fell for the idea that groups of people who’ve managed to hang onto their privileges for CENTURIES just couldn’t quite figure out how to treat black women nicely; that they have just no idea how to not cast stereotypical black women. That they just couldn’t write actual lines for black women as HUMAN BEINGS.

Come on ya’ll. you can’t be that naïve. But just in case you are, I’ll jump further down the rabbit hole in an attempt to pull you out with a very obvious example from the movie Shit Outta Compton:

The group NWA made their multi-million dollar, decades longs careers on the backs of black women. These BLACK MEN while complaining about racism and police brutality simultaneously abused black women (physically and verbally) and happily produced NUMEROUS vile songs about KILLING black women.

Yes, you read that correctly.

And when, after decades of lacking any REMORSE that they’d gained their fortunes on Black women’s misfortunes, suddenly these same men decided to “apologize” for abuse that they willfully perpetuated.

Wake Up, ladies.

This did not happen in a vacuum. This did not happen because “Dr.” Dre suddenly felt “sorry” for what he’d done. (LOL). He didn’t have any epiphanies. He needed to sell tickets. And of course, because NOTHING is an accident, he knew black women would accept a two-bit apology.  This was planned, finagled, and arranged by people who MAKE THEIR LIVINGS perfecting the right thing to say at the right time.

Every, “Emotion”, every “regret”; every “sadness” has been carefully crafted by people behind a curtain. And you’d think that this would go without saying but this movie somehow had a massive opening day and subsequent theater run supported by the same woman whose image and names are in the gutter because of said group. And the kick is that Black Women were salivating to support it.

But remember, the trick is to make you think that we’re all in this together when really they’ve strung up your corpse in time square and used it as a piñata.

Bu if you want an example from the other side of the coin. Let’s look at the show “Sleepy Hollow.”  Black women were ensnared in that trap from the day the show was announced. As I predicted THREE YEARS AGO the show pulled a complete bait and switch. But they took it a step further. Not only did they bait and switch the audience, they managed to kill the character off completely. And from what I’ve heard they didn’t even do her justice.

And yet when all was said and done, (as I expected) white women somehow managed to turn the issue of black women being used and abused into a way to push their agenda. &utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=THR%20Live%20Feed%20Alerts_now_2016-04-11%2014:48:42_Jfrosch&utm_term=hollywoodreporter_livefeed

If you weren’t daring enough to click on the links, I’ll help you out. These broads managed to turn the phenomenon of black women getting baited and switched into a larger issue about “Women” (read white).

And while I couldn’t give to whits about the comings and goings of angry white women, I want black women to be aware of something. White women are NOT innocent victims in the demise of black women in the media.

Here are a few fun facts.

The director the Nina Simone debacle is actually a white woman.

The directors and showrunners of The Vampire diaries the show that mammied their black female character for seven seasons are white women.

The network executive who approved the decision to kill Carter’s character on Person of Interest is, you guessed it, a white women.

But somehow these women would have you believe with all the Liz Lemon’s, Unbreakable Kimmy’s, and Leslie Knopes (and that’s only naming a few) that we’re all in this together.

Sure we are.

If I haven’t said this before it bears repeating over and over again.  The problem with assuming everyone is your ally is that you’re assuming that NOBODY is working against you.  This is a cycle I’ve noticed over and over throughout the years.

Certain groups can do a number of heinous things to black women. Black women become enraged by said acts. Said group feigns surprise and stupidity and remorse before skillfully using lines like “but the white man is doing this or that to all of us” or “Those white men have an issues portraying all women” or, “Let’s not be divisive. The larger issue is those white men,” And miraculously black women fall for the buzzwords. Black women enter a fugue like state ready to nurse said groups to their bosoms instead of holding them accountable for the continued mistreatment.

And I won’t even get into the fact that these same black women who were just sharted on by the executives at Fox still haven’t learned to DO FOR SELF and create their own media. In some demented turn of events there are actually people talking about more upcoming shows with sock puppet black female leads; yet again providing these networks with free publicity.

I couldn’t make this crap up if I wanted to, ladies.

Stop it. Wake Up.

Before I leave, I’d like to ask you a couple of questions. If we’re all in this together would there be masses of blacks deciding to boycott the Oscars because ONE washed up black actress lost out on a nomination. (Please look up how boycotting the Oscars came about because Will Smith was snubbed and Jada wanted to support her husband.)

When black women show their asses in the same way as the Rachel Dolezels will she be written off as anything more than a ratchet hoe?

Have any of these groups you’re desperate to cling to ever sacrificed for YOU?

I think we all know the answer to that.

And while the truth hurts, it will also set you free.

Until next time,

Stay Neutral.

  1. I somehow missed myplaceinthesun’s annual Christmas challenge to support black women owned business.

So I’m issuing it from now until the end of May.  If anyone knows any black women business for likeminded black women, please link them below. And please post what you purchased, if anything, in the comments.



60 thoughts on “Black Women in Fandoms 106: The Trick Is To Make You Think We’re In This Together, When Really They’re Dancing On Your Bloodied Corpse

  1. OLS,

    You said: “Masses of deluded and mentally ill black women . . . ”

    You got that right! There’s a reason why way back in 1977 (she’s updated the book for the modern era) a writer called TV “the plug-in drug.”

    Because watching TV has a detrimental impact on the minds and spirits of children. And that’s speaking in generalities. It’s pretty obvious that TV and other “entertainment” media cause even greater harm to the minds and spirits of African-American girls and women (especially since African-Americans watch more TV than other demographics).

    As Exhibit #1, I’ll just refer everyone to this story:

    {major side eye}

    • What’s sad is that the television and media are major sources of agony for black women and they just won’t cut the cord.
      SMH at that article. I’m just not feeling Serena Williams.

      • Yeah, it is sad. I think one reason many AA women are reluctant to “cut the cord” is because they don’t want to feel more invisible than they already do. It’s hard to feel unacknowledged and still maintain a healthy sense of self-worth. It’s a challenge that AA women must master, because we don’t live in a world that prioritizes our valuation and support.

        • Excellent post…As black women, we are primarily responsible for our own invisibility. When you put on your super-duper-soldier-sistah apron/cape and become everyone’s ally but yourself/ourselves, and cook the meal, clean the house, set the table, greet the guests, plate the food, take off your apron/cape and then step into the dining room…and you notice everyone else eating and there is no chair or place at the table for you..well..your doin too much. What other signs are there that we are doin too much? No one notices you don’t have a chair, a place to sit or a plate of the food you cooked. That is until your needed for your next mission requiring us to don the apron/cape. I used to feel guilty for not supporting shows with black women/people, however I learned after the 90’s with Fox, that the media uses black women and shows to bait the black viewer, build the fan base, then dump the black women on non-black shows or just dump the entire show for the new season line up which will have few if any blacks…and if they’re black, it’s a black man, who also doubles as the black woman. Two for one special. Throw a white woman in with a black man and you’ve got an all inclusive diversity package!

    • Yes, Khadija, someone sent me a link to that Serena Williams article some days ago, and I didn’t even click through to it as I could already guess (given her history), that it was some kind of foolishness. I later scanned through the article, and looking at the pictures, I thought to myself that this is a woman who has been exposed/had access to so much in this world, for whom money is no hindrance, and yet she has refused to let go of that certain ‘hood’ mentality. She makes it so easy for her detractors (of whom there are many, so bitter that a BW is dominating in a YT arena).

      There was once a white individual who commented on a video of SW that she was becoming ‘fake’, and trying to adopt a different tone of voice than she had previously had, to make herself sound softer, and that it was something that her sister, Venus, had been doing for years. They were so upset that just by way of how she sounded, it didn’t fit the stereotypical views that they had been projecting onto her, so insisted that she must have been putting it on. They were so angry because the way that Venus had carried herself over the years, made it harder for them to be as blatant in their derogatory insults as they would like, and were only comfortable with as negative an image as possible of BW being put out there in the media. As much as I like Serena, I always know that when it comes down to it, her first instinct tends to be the wrong one!

      I don’t know how much more and in how many different ways BW need to be told the same thing over and over again, before they catch a clue. For the most part, I don’t even bother watching any new shows – if there is no Black female representation (non-stereotypical, unambiguously Black, feminine characters), I give it a pass; if there are good BW characters (note: multiple), I still and all likelihood say ‘nah, thanks’ – as when you take a look at the directors, producers etc of these shows (and one has to do these things if you are serious about not putting money in the pockets of people who intentionally or ‘accidentally’ do you harm), you’ll see that they are the same people that have screwed BW over in the past. I don’t know why BW just seem to be against the idea of creating, producing and supporting their own content. Also, it cannot just be any BW, as I’ve seen cases of BW producers being involved in shows where the casting of a Black actress and the characters portrayal, especially when compared to the other female characters in the show gives me a major side eye!

    • WOW!

      I’m surprised and saddened to see Serena portray herself as a strong “muscle man”. She should have presented herself as She-Ra or Wonder Woman, if she wanted to portray a strong superhero. It seems she’s trying to neutralize attacks against her femininity by showcasing her strength in traditionally masculine ways and saying, “Yeah…and SO WHAT?” I don’t get it. I think it’s unfortunate. But, I realize AA women/girls are often encouraged to portray themselves as tough broads who can take on men.

      I love your memory and recall. It helps us access wisdom and knowledge we might have missed.

    • If you study how they make movies, they actually make it scene by scene, not in real time like watching or acting in a play.
      They NUMBER EACH SCENE… and it’s shot out of order, the director adds music last from the orchestra pit.
      and it’s up to us not to watch

  2. Wow, I was wondering if you were going to comment about the sheer stupidity of these women(young/old). When I have down time, which is not often. I go on the valant chamber, and read original, fanfiction stories. I noticed a lot of activity within the shout box. Many of these women were moaning, crying, and whining about Abbie being kill off. I found their behavior amusing , Some are already looking for their next hit. Rather it be Waking Dead (Rickhonne) or the pirate series on WGN. These women are not worth a plug nickel, you cannot reason with nonsense.

    • I actually wasn’t gong to comment at first but the events keep piling up and the response to each one is just confounding. Had to say something. Lol I was laughing when she got killed and they were sad. I was thinking “really, like you really didn’t see this coming?” The warning signs were everywhere.SMH i just don’t get it. I actually feel sorry for the Richonne people. I garauntee Michonne WILL die. Probably next year. I know they killed off a major character and didn’t say who it was. I bet 100$ it was her. What pirate show? Blacksail? I’m just hoping I get though to one person.

      • Yup. The Walking Dead is the only show that I follow on TV. I was not excited when they paired Rick & Michonne together, because in my mind that meant that she does not have much time left on the show. I knew that they might do that though. Even when you put aside Hollywood’s treatment of bw in film, any woman who gets with Rick is on the fast track to zombiedom. Michonne’s fate will be no different. And yeah, this is the kind of show where they don’t mind killing off major characters, Game of Thrones style. Anyone who expects this to be a lasting pairing is just being…well…you said it above. As for Sleepy Hollow, I watched maybe half (if that much) of season 1 before dropping it. The fact that the wm lead was married is enough to signal that he would be unavailable to the bw lead romantically. Hollywood is not going to sideline the ww for the bw. It is just not going to happen, especially where as you said, there are plenty of ww behind the scenes who influence the direction of the show. She probably played the mammyish, self sacrificing role before they killed her off. I am honestly surprised that the show lasted this long. I thought it would be dead by season 2, or definitely by season 3, because it was clear where this series was going. I read somewhere that the actress, Nicole Beharrie, was not very happy with the show runners, as you alluded to in your post.

      • White girls were ‘clutching their pearls’.
        So, they had to do something :
        even Asians go thru this, but it doesn’t stop white men from marguing them
        It’s time to leave the 20th century as far as entertainment goes

    • Personally, I believe that a major reason so many BW get so worked up about what goes on in these shows, and refuse to walk away, even when it becomes obvious to them that they are, once again, being played, is that for them, walking away from these shows means walking away from life. Think about the amount of time it must take to watch all these TV shows so religiously, follow and interact with them, the individual actors etc on social media, participate in forums where they are discussing, arguing back and forth with others, whining about the latest plot twist etc……………and these chicks ain’t even getting paid to do this! Be real, these aren’t people that spend much time outside, living life, doing anything particularly productive etc. So for them, this is life. Moreover, when it involves a Black female character, they live vicariously through her. So anything that the show writers make happen to this character, these Black women take it as their own life. Her relationship woes, joys, disappointments etc, are theirs, because they haven’t got any of it in their real lives. So this is, in their head, their only opportunity to daydream about a fictional someone else’s life, and imagine that it was them.

      The yesteryear equivalent of it was how BW would get so enraptured with any BM character. Years ago, that was the only draw that they needed, to reel them in to turning up with their eyes glued to the screen. It was them imaging that this BM that they were watching on screen was theirs, their ‘kang’ that had finally turned up to do right by them. Hence why any female character that he was paired with got hate from them, because ultimately, she was, as far as they were concerned, taking her place. The modern day ones think they are ‘enlightened’, because they have caught a clue that either way, BW were still being excluded for every other persons benefit. So now, instead of daydreaming about the (black) male characters on the shows like their mothers did, they instead daydream about the lives of the black female characters. The end result, however, is still the same – they end up with absolutely nothing!

      • JaliliMaster,

        You said (emphasis added in bold):

        —“Think about the amount of time it must take to watch all these TV shows so religiously, follow and interact with them, the individual actors etc on social media, participate in forums where they are discussing, arguing back and forth with others, whining about the latest plot twist etc……………and these chicks ain’t even getting paid to do this! Be real, these aren’t people that spend much time outside, living life, doing anything particularly productive etc. So for them, this is life. Moreover, when it involves a Black female character, they live vicariously through her. So anything that the show writers make happen to this character, these Black women take it as their own life. Her relationship woes, joys, disappointments etc, are theirs, because they haven’t got any of it in their real lives. So this is, in their head, their only opportunity to daydream about a fictional someone else’s life, and imagine that it was them.”—

        Whoomp—there it is! {smh at it all}

      • “Moreover, when it involves a Black female character, they live vicariously through her. So anything that the show writers make happen to this character, these Black women take it as their own life. Her relationship woes, joys, disappointments etc, are theirs, because they haven’t got any of it in their real lives. So this is, in their head, their only opportunity to daydream about a fictional someone else’s life, and imagine that it was them.”

        I’m seeing a similar thing being played out on “real life” shows on youtube. There are a number of interracial couples some Black women are latching on to for dear life (Jamie & Nikki; Patricia Bright). There is simply too much emotional investment into these couples.

        • Yes. I know of a girl on instagram (she also has a youtube channel) and she’s dating a white man and has been for a few years. I scanned through the comments on one of her pictures and someone actually had the *nerve* to ask her when she was getting engaged because the girl was getting “boring”. Some of these women are seriously mentally ill. Especially to think someone is going to make life decisions so they can live vicariously through them.

        • I think many women follow these couples for encouragement because, in the back of their minds, they view the possibility of having a healthy marriage/family/relationship with non-BM an “elusive dream”.

      • I think there are also a large number of AA women who are into media, the performing arts, etc. who strongly want to see advancement in terms of incorporation and representation of different persons, viewpoints, histories, etc. So, they are VERY PASSIONATE about these issues and highly invested. I care highly about other issues (like housing and development) and, in the back of my mind, continue thinking about ways I am going to address/incorporate my interests in conjunction with my current career trajectory and development pursuits.

        Many people want to make changes WITHIN the system, which has been a major focus and strategy for AAs throughout their history. I think they could reach their end goal MUCH FASTER if they just dropped their focus on Hollywood and instead focused on building their own infrastructure with the products they want.


    I must say, I do not get highly upset about Hollywood’s lack of representation of AAs, in general, because I understand that it was not designed by AAs nor was its purpose to focus on advancing the interest of AAs.

    As I’ve stated before, I frequently watch old Hollywood movies and enjoy them quite a lot. Needless to say, I often watch tv with only white faces. There are times when AAs are shown, and, not infrequently, in stereotypical roles. However, I noticed on some recent films I’ve seen (from the 40s to 60s), several AA women looked like “standard” American housewives/women –meaning they were a healthy weight, were well/stylishly dressed, presumed to be married, unambiguously “black”, and had well-groomed children. I am thinking of one particular instance in which an AA woman extra was seen exiting a department store (also being visited by whites) with her daughter who looked lovely with standard AA pigtails. Despite the mammies, AA women were not ALWAYS shown as morbidly obese, dysfunctional and inept women, as they are often shown today.

    Honestly, I don’t have the energy to be outraged or “pressed” by Hollywood. When I was a young, elementary school girl, I clearly saw how AA women/girls were (not) presented in the media. My parents never explained such things to me. They never talked about “race” issues. My mother was all about God and education, and my dad was all about the law and education. Lol. Nevertheless, “I got it.” I don’t care about Oscar representation. I never watched the Oscars, Grammys, VMAs, etc. because I knew they weren’t going to truly represent AAs well and weren’t designed to do so. Furthermore, I’ve never been into “popularity contests”. As such, I just didn’t watch. I also found them too boring to invest the amount of time necessary to watch them. I DID like observing the fashions in magazines, however.

    But, anyway, my point is that I GOT THAT AS A LITTLE KID. It was THAT OBVIOUS to me. I don’t understand why AAs allow themselves to be upset by this. If AAs want something different, they have to produce it for self. And, in 2016, they have the CAPACITY to do so. They JUST. WON’T.

    I personally don’t care enough about the media to stress myself about it. If I don’t like something or the way it’s (not) representing me, I don’t watch it. The end. For example, I never got into watching Friends, Melrose Place, Baywatch, 90210, because I didn’t like the way AAs were portrayed (if at all) and how AA women were usually excluded. I also noticed how BM music videos portrayed their “love” (read “sexual”) interests–frequently neglecting AA women/girls COMPLETELY. THAT was more upsetting to me than treatment from white media/Hollywood.

    I am happy to see AA women who are into media and concerned about such things taking action to address it in ways that are important to them. I support their endeavors. However, what I would like to see is more affluent (read movie star, entertainment, professional athlete, multi- multi- MULTI- millionaire/billionaire) AAs show interest in investing in/developing the infrastructure of the AA population in a meaningful and substantive way–like starting a project focusing on the needs of even one depressed AA area (like Detroit). So many AAs have learned helplessness and have no clue how to preserve themselves let alone build a legacy.

    Since so many of these wealthy AAs are willing to give away 10s and 100s of millions of dollars to non-blacks via alimony, child support, and “makin’ it rain”, why can’t they direct some of that cash flow towards an effort like the one I described. I know it won’t likely happen, because I understand my people. They don’t teach their male children that they have a responsibility to invest in and build their ethnic group. So, any progress made rarely contributes to advancement of “the whole”.

    I don’t know how much longer AA women are willing to be upset/distressed over this. Public proclamations of upset and distress show people who don’t value YOU how highly you value THEM. It’s time to let that nonsense go. AA women need to focus on themselves. And, if they make good choices for themselves, Hollywood decisions can wane in importance in their lives.

    • And, honestly, I am more upset by AAs/blacks who don’t have enough (ethnic) self-respect to decline portraying these stereotypical and derogatory roles. When the roles you are playing are hurting and damaging your group overall, you should STOP.

      I am not more mad at “THEM” than I am “US”.

    • Formavitae,

      You said:

      —“However, I noticed on some recent films I’ve seen (from the 40s to 60s), several AA women looked like “standard” American housewives/women –meaning they were a healthy weight, were well/stylishly dressed, presumed to be married, unambiguously “black”, and had well-groomed children.”—

      I don’t know what happened to morph the surprisingly normalized images of AA women seen in earlier eras into the bizarre mess put on display today. In addition to the deliberate sabotage by racists in Hollywood angle, I suspect part of it is due to AAs’ increasing loss of dignity and self-respect over the past 50 years. All of which coincides with the rise of mass out of wedlock (oow) childbearing and resulting disintegration of the AA family. Modern day AAs gravitate toward, revel in, and create disgusting images of ourselves that most of our ancestors would never have supported.

      All I know for sure is that: (1) the majority of AAs are watching way too much TV; and (2) watching way too much mental-vomit-type of TV programming. And (3) that it’s far better for AA women to be invisible on the screen as opposed to the way our collective image is being dragged through the vomit.

      With the way things have been going, these days on those occasions when I take the time to watch TV, I avoid “mainstream” modern-era American programs like the plague. I would strongly urge other AA women to disconnect from that mess too (like you’ve disconnected and have opted to watch old movies instead). Instead, I’ll watch foreign documentaries and dramas from the DramaFever streaming site.

      For those who like action dramas, I would highly recommend a 16-episode Korean series that I recently ran across called “Last.” I’ve only watched the first 2 episodes, but the story has had some plot angles that I didn’t see coming (which I found refreshing).
      It’s also available at Amazon.

      • Khadija,

        In addition to factors that you mentioned (racism, OOW, loss of dignity), I believe another contributing factor and mistake was/is AAs reluctance to castigate the dysfunctions of the “less fortunate”. AAs have wrongfully (in my opinion) chosen to embrace and identify with destructive individuals because they view them as “victims” of “the system” and “the MAN”. Some of the outcomes of this decision include an overall lowering of personal standards and a WILLFUL perpetuation of AA denigration. When AAs should CLEARLY cut certain elements off, they refuse to do so–TO THEIR OWN PERIL. And, they allow their children to be led astray and (LITERALLY) die.

        In passing, I saw a portion of an interview with the grandson of Louis B. Mayer (Hollywood producer and co-founder of MGM). He was saying how his grandfather hated the influence of vaudeville and wanted to present/promote a different type of entertainment. So, he used his position in Hollywood to promote family-oriented films that he considered to be wholesome and positive in effect on society (by his estimation). (These are my own words, of course.)

        Something that gets me is the belief many AAs have that “television is (just) television”. They deny that what they consume in the media has any impact on their real lives and behaviors–even as their children are DYING from trying to emulate what they see/hear from “black” media stars. I DESPISE the advent of “Reality TV”. And, my hatred grows with each passing day that I read a new news story of how some young black kid died (was murdered) from being jumped by other kids. This behavior is MANIACAL. Yet, you see/hear how these reality stars “keep it real” by engaging in catfights, hair pulling, etc. No need to mention the rappers who talk about how “hard” they are, who they’ve shot, how they’ve been shot, or whose azz they’re willing to “bust a cap in”.


        One reason I enjoy old Hollywood films is because I am a romantic and somewhat of a traditionalist. I enjoy seeing men protect and provide for ladies. Not to mention the beauty of the fashions and the people, and their AMAZING talent. Also, these films tend to be intelligent with excellent story lines, because they weren’t relying on frank nudity and s*x to captivate an audience. Not to suggest that all old films were “wholesome”. There are storylines and themes for various appetites. I am an eighties little kid, meaning “I AM A HORROR JUNKIE”. The more graphic and gory the BETTER. Nevertheless, I’ve never thought of ambushing and killing one of my friends to appease some fictitious villain. Since children/people these days have difficulty separating reality from FICTION, they need to separate from the “boob tube”.

        Back to my discussion of television as a socializing influence. I’ve watched many foreign films. And, for those who are interested, your public library is one good source for access. But, something I’ve noticed, particularly in Asian films, is that the movies are used to promote specific values, behaviors, and traditions. My friend watches Asian films/dramas, and an overarching theme is respect for parents and devotion to family. Asians use as many platforms as possible to instill the values they want in their children. AAs seem to be reluctant to select and promote a set of (wholesome) values, outside of not castigating destructive elements.

        AAs “just don’t get it” and don’t seem to want to. There’s only so much mourning a person can do, before they have nothing left of themselves. I hurt for AAs but choose to disconnect in a variety of ways for my own sanity.

        • ive always thought that RAP was cancer to AA’s
          since it degraded AA women in particular and women in general. (it wouldn’t have gotten across if it wasn’t for SONY WALKMANS and BOOM BOXES which came out around the same time, and were around 100 dollars each in 1980 dollars)
          NWA is horrible… also, it would be nice to go to dance halls, like ARTHUR MURRAY and learn some ballroom type dancing…(a good way to meet men as well)

        • Jubilee,

          I remember seeing guys walking down the streets with those huge boom boxes on their shoulders. Thinking back, it looked so ridiculous. As much as I love heavy bass and a good rhythm, I must say rap/hip hop has proven to be a scourge and a plague on AAs. But, as long as BM capitalize off of it, AAs will support it.

          I LOVE ballroom and Latin dancing. I remember my dad and I watching the competitions when I was a little girl. I also love belly dancing, and swing looks like a lot of fun. I would LOVE to learn to dance and hope to one day. But, for now, I’m too busy. I also broke one of my legs on both sides of my ankle and have lost some range of motion in the joint. I fear that may hamper my ability to master some of of the quick steps and moves in these art forms. But, I still plan to try (eventually–Lol).

        • Formavitae, I’m obsessed with tango music and plan to take some lessons for my birthday. (As a related aside, tango and Argentina are an area where blacks have allowed themselves to be completely erased, literally, in less than a century. Some modern day Argentines will even try to say that there have never been any blacks in their country). Dancing makes me feel like I am being extra efficient by increasing my cultural knowledge and fitness at the same time. 🙂

          I don’t know her track record as far as supporting bw goes, so I won’t link to her, but Lucretia Free is an interesting example of making options as a bw. After a friend invited her to a firing range, she became interested in the sport and has used her business, marketing, and journalism experience to start an online magazine for women shooters. She seems to be networking well and picking up some momentum, and I think is planning a video project. I looked her up after I saw her featured by several ww twitter/blog/facebook posts. None of these posts had any passive-aggressive, patronizing references to her being AA, and her race wasn’t mentioned at all actually, even the few times when her picture was featured. I’m impressed that she has started this venture in her mid-fifties, without actually being a gun expert, and virtually a beginner. She is learning from the different people while she interviews and hires them to write for her magazine….that magic word I learned from Evia….*concurrently*, LOL. NRA-ville may seem like a strange choice for a aabw to hang out her shingle, at first glance. But Free seems to be tapping into a growing curiosity and market for self-defense among women, along with the increasing profile of shooting sports for women from local to the Olympic level, and the growing preparedness/survivalist ethos. Rather than passively consuming, she is contributing her own media images and commentary on the subject, and working with the writers and interviewees that she wants.

          Even if you hate guns, you can take notes from the way she saw and seized an opportunity, played to her strengths, and supplemented her newbie-status with the experience of veteran women shooters. As far as everyday operations go, Free runs her venture as a “colorless” business in a market that some might assume would be invariably hostile to black women.

        • poweredbyjoy,

          I looked up Lucretia Free (thanks for sharing). She’s a nice-looking lady. I’m always happy to see AA women doing things outside of the proverbial box. Many people want us to remain relegated to such limited lives. It brings me joy to see us expanding beyond that.

        • some shows in the late 60s early 70s showed blacks in a good light, such as DRAGNET when they had guests.
          The black women were normal housewives like the white women were…

      • “All I know for sure is that: (1) the majority of AAs are watching way too much TV; and (2) watching way too much mental-vomit-type of TV programming. And (3) that it’s far better for AA women to be invisible on the screen as opposed to the way our collective image is being dragged through the vomit.

        Case in point: Asian women. I know that some hate it whenever anyone uses them as an example, but it is wise to learn from those who fared better, and study the ways their actions (and hence, outcomes) differed from yours. They are, for the most part, invisible in Western media, and yet, they have an even better image than ww, who have had the media do all the work on their behalf (and against everyone else) for decades! I firmly believe that no media representation is better than bad media representation. Everyone else except Black folks have caught on to this. Similarly, you didn’t hear them whining about the poor portrayal of Asian men. They knew they had their own problems and wisely decided to focus on that, to hell with anyone that had an issue with it. There has been far deeper discussions on this (particularly on Khadijas sites), concerning the strategic moves many others have made that have enabled them to ascend in the West, even when they are a small/minority member of the population.

        As I said, it is now up to us as individuals and smaller self-selected groups (as I no longer believe there is any chance of Black folks as a whole, whether racially or within specific ethnic groups advancing as a collective) to make the moves, choices, alliances etc, that will enable us to live life to the full, free of what many others have chosen to accept as the norm.

        • I totally agree with you.

          I think many AA women want to see a promotion of AA women on a MASS SCALE (in a short time frame) within mainstream society. I, personally, don’t foresee that happening, as AA women do not have the levels of support and infrastructure to combat their opposition. However, I believe change is happening on an individual, case-by-case basis. And, that’s a BIG DEAL (to me). Also, I see more advertisements that show BW and non-BM in close physical proximity to each other, even if not definitively coupled. I see more images of BW with children who look like they have a white (non-black) father. These images will help people accept the reality that BW are/can be involved in relationships and families with those outside of their group just like other women. I think it’s important for AA/black women to be seen as “HUMAN” and “REAL” women.

          For those who want to press for more representation, equity, and justice via mainstream channels, I don’t knock them. Any progress they make benefits me and others like me. I have GREATLY BENEFITED from others who utilized strategies that I may not have personally chosen. Therefore, I thank and respect them for that. I just personally don’t care enough about the mainstream infrastructure to try to stress myself out over inclusion. I prefer to observe how that infrastructure is established and functions for success and preservation, so I can learn how to go out and develop the same for myself and mine. In my opinion, that should be a larger AA priority and objective. But, in general, AAs prefer “inclusion” to OWNERSHIP. And, once they’ve gained it, they often abandon the frameworks they started to establish as alternatives.

          AA women, in general, need to learn how not to be heartbroken over this. We have overcome A LOT and have MUCH to be thankful for. Many oppressed groups don’t achieve what we have achieved. If we take pride in our heritage, recognize and harness our strengths, cut off the saboteurs and users, there’s nothing we desire that we can’t accomplish. I TRULY BELIEVE THAT.

        • Very true…and I notice that the few Asian actresses who have made a successful crossover into Western media/Hollywood already had their own following in the various Asian film industries and were strongly supported by the men in those industries, formally and informally. Introductions, making connections, and brushing elbows with the right power players were force multipliers in their careers because their men and larger communities are overall for them and not against them. Because they had their own successes and money in the bank, these actresses can come to the table with leverage as potential partners and not beggars desperate for any part/job/gig. Ziyi Zhang from Memoirs of a Geisha and Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon among other films has stated on the importance of choosing roles/images wisely:

          “Yes. Otherwise I could have done a lot of Hollywood movies. After Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon I got a lot of offers, but I turned them down because they were all victim roles—poor girls sold to America to be a wife or whatever. I know I have the ability to go deeper, to take on more original roles than that. That’s why I really appreciated Geisha, because it allowed us to show the world what kind of actors we are and what kind of characters we can play—not just action, kick-ass parts”.

          Ziyi doesn’t play with her image. She took several news outlets to court for slander and won settlements as well as a front page apology when they reported gossip that she was sleeping with an executive…

          Gong Li (Raise the Red Lantern, Memoirs of a Geisha, Miami Vice) and Ziyi Zhang were both discovered and heavily promoted/featured by famous director Yimou Zhang. He didn’t just cast them once and say he had done his duty to Asian women. He worked with them on several films and tailored roles for them, even after he achieved Western acclaim. He didn’t throw them aside for white actresses. Ziyi’s first American film role was alongside Jackie Chan in one of the Rush Hour movies. Michelle Yeoh (one of the Bond movies, Memoirs of a Geisha, Crouching Tiger) was discovered by doing a commercial with Jackie Chan.

          Maggie Q (Nikita tv series) was discovered and mentored by Jackie Chan, who taught her martial arts and stunt skills.
          Interestingly, Maggie Q is American (her Vietnamese mother met her Irish-American(?) father when he was stationed there during the Vietnam War and certainly had no qualms about marrying out) and she ended up going to Hong Kong to launch her modeling/movie career and shortening Quigley to ‘Q’ to get in where she fit in. Years later, she began to get more mainstream western roles…I think she is involved with actor Dylan McDermott now. I don’t know if he has moved into the production/money man side of things in Hollywood, but he certainly has the connections and inside knowledge to give her a boost….

          The point of all this being, it pays to study those who are successful, even if it stings our ego a bit. Bw work so hard on the ‘substance’ part of work sometimes, that we downplay/bemoan the important of style, networking, and subtle behind the scenes influences. Strategy and shrewdness are just as important as skills and work ethic. Many of these women also raised their profile through beauty pageants and modeling, a field that I turned my nose up at in the ‘girl power’ 90s, LOL. But now I see how beauty is a weapon as Khadija has highlighted, and how a woman is wise to use any advantage that she has to move up in the world.

          The rub for bw as we have mentioned before, is that in lieu of supportive bm and a supportive community, we are largely building our village/support network from scratch. These latest Hollywood shenanigans reiterate that no one has our backs unless we build our own safety nets/squads, LOL. It’s not fair, but neither is life, and it has to be done if we want to succeed as individual bw in our life and career goals and general happiness.

          Sorry for the long post! I really intended to type just a paragraph. It’s always great to hear from you OLS, and other commenters. I hope that you are all moving onward and upward to your wildest dream level lives!

        • poweredbyjoy,


          “Bw work so hard on the ‘substance’ part of work sometimes, that we downplay/bemoan the important of style, networking, and subtle behind the scenes influences. Strategy and shrewdness are just as important as skills and work ethic.”

          This is SO TRUE.

          I also think other reasons AA women have a difficult time harnessing the power of their physical beauty are the legacy of rape during and after slavery, religious beliefs that teach the importance of “modesty”, having the enhancement/display of our physical attractiveness being equated with being a ‘Jezebel” or “Delilah”, being treated like a “piece of azz/hoe” by black males, and the vitriol/indirect (but REAL) attacks we get from jealous non-black women. I myself have (had) challenges with this. But, I decided, if ESTHER can develop and utilize her physical beauty to get the hand of the king and use that power to her advantage and be HAILED by Christians for it, I can do THE SAME for MYSELF. Honestly, AA women are just socialized to self-sabotage. We need to be aware of that and reject that programming so that we can have the lives WE DESERVE.

    • “However, I noticed on some recent films I’ve seen (from the 40s to 60s), several AA women looked like “standard” American housewives/women –meaning they were a healthy weight, were well/stylishly dressed, presumed to be married, unambiguously “black”, and had well-groomed children. ”

      It’s not your are correct. There is an agenda to change the image of black women and I believe it became more noticible with Mrs. Obama in the White House…an immediate need to dismantle the image of a black woman, poised, beautiful and intelligent…her image was/is threatening. If you look at t.v programming since they have been in the White House…tea party shows like Duck Dynasty and the original Housewives shows, which incidentally started off as white are now dominated by black women..Basketball wives, one show had black women as doctors..rachet…preacher shows with black women with enough makeup on to embarrass a clown…a now cancelled sorority show…all black women were being removed from t.v or movies and relegated to ratchet reality shows..all as propaganda to undo Mrs. Obama and her daughters image in the White House…There are no more black women like Whitney Houston or Natalie Cole or even Diana Ross….meaning these types of black women presented class, elegance, beauty…now all black women that sing are relegated to rachet lyrics, behavior, dress…not feminine…..and they are not going to ever let that type of black woman’s exist again…The OP is right..none of it is a mistake. And besides Kevin Hart, Steve Harvey is the other go-to black male in Hollywood…and of course, the blacks that make the most, are the ones willing to c_ _n the most. Helping to keep the propaganda machine intact which keeps the steretypes alive, which in turn ensures those with power, stay in power.

      • I agree with your analysis.

        I’ve never watched “Duck Dynasty” or any of those “Housewives” shows (THANK GOD). But, I’ve noticed the effort to tarnish the image and level of respect for physically beautiful black women who, on paper, “really have it goin’ on”. The lasting beauty of AA women is undeniable. And, as more nonblack women copy the characteristics of AA women, there is increased mudslinging against those AA women who are in top physical shape and paragons of beauty (those who have “THE NERVE” to be beautiful without having a nonblack parent–read nonblack “MOTHER”). I’m just sad so many AAs lack the dignity to refuse presenting themselves and their group in such a harmful manner. AAs lack “ethnic common sense”. They will always suffer, as a result.

        • “I’m just sad so many AAs lack the dignity to refuse presenting themselves and their group in such a harmful manner.”

          That’s interesting that you said that. I read an article the other day about Yara Shahidi a teenage biracial actress with an AA mother and Iranian father. In the article she stated that “she turned down many roles (before Black-ish) in order to steer clear of any negative stereotypes or poor portrayals of black people.”

        • SilverRoxen,

          I’m glad to hear that her parents are raising her with such values and self respect. She seems like a lovely, well balanced young lady.

          I must say I’ve never tuned into ” Blackish”, because the title alone turned me off, and I’m tired of seeing ” Blackish” women instead of ” Black” women ( while “Black” men get TRUE representation). Not saying that others shouldn’t enjoy it. That’s just where I’m at.

        • I don’t watch the show either. I have a (male) cousin and a (female) Mexican classmate that does. She was actually surprised that I don’t watch it. I
          ” I’m tired of seeing ” Blackish” women instead of ” Black” women ( while “Black” men get TRUE representation).”

          I know how you feel especially with how three prominent young biracial actresses are being portrayed and perceived as black girls (i.e. Amandla, Yara, and Zendaya). I personally like the former two, but their mothers are AA, while they’re biracial/bicultural (the first girl identifies as AA though).

          Its just that the part in your comment “(those who have “THE NERVE” to be beautiful without having a nonblack parent–read nonblack “MOTHER”” reminded me of Yara whom has an AA mother and a beautiful one at that.

  4. *importance, not important

    I also see similar support for actresses crossing over from Bollywood and to an extent, Nollywood as well.

  5. I recently bought music from Mickey Guyton.

    And, I bought the new cd from “We Are King”, based upon Faith’s recommendation. That cd is THE BOMB, for anyone who enjoys good, smooth R&B music. EXCELLENT quality and EXCELLENT voices. WELL WORTH the purchase. I would encourage others to purchase also.

    I’ve also been purchasing older albums from artists like Regina Belle, En Vogue, etc. to support AA women I’ve enjoyed for years.


    I just made a donation to Faith Dow. She is seeking support to do the very thing this article focuses on–build infrastructure for AA women in the media. She details her thoughts and objectives at her site (hope it’s okay to link, OLS). I HIGHLY ENCOURAGE others to contribute and support also. I look forward to offering my support on an ongoing basis.

    I LOVE Faith! (and Evia, and Khadija). She is supremely and sincerely passionate about the rights and advancement of AA women and girls. She has written MANY SUBSTANTIVE and beneficial posts at her blogs FOR YEARS. Faith is HIGHLY intelligent, and the magnitude of her intelligence and investment is evidenced by the quality of her writing and analysis. She is truly PHENOMENAL.

    Faith has contributed SO MUCH to the development and advancement of the BWE movement. And, she (and Evia, and Khadija) has been so selfless in doing so. I hope many will show their appreciation by supporting her, which also lends support to the strengthening and advancement of AA women and girls.

  7. OLS,

    You said you’ve never heard songs by Prince before? Songs like “When Doves Cry” (my personal fave) or “1999”? 🙂 That’s funny. I remember my cousin was always in love with Prince, and I was always in love with Michael Jackson, when we were younger. Just shows how I’m moving into a different demographic. I’ve seen the movie “Poltergeist” on a station I didn’t expect. I said to myself, “You know you’re getting older when they’re playing movies from your childhood on Turner Classic Movies.”

    Oh well.

    Prince, Michael Jackson, Whitney Houston, and Madonna were SUPER HOT, all at the same time, back in the 80s. I used to wonder at what age they would all start dying. I couldn’t imagine them being gone. Now, Madonna is the only one left.

    • Nope, lol i couldn’t even tell you what either of those songs were. I guess i just never found prince interesting enough to try to listen too. And i always thought he was a bit wierd.

  8. I just read a post from Bougie Black Girl saying that she lost her husband. I just thought I’d share, in case anyone is an admirer of her work and wants to extend their condolences.

  9. Ima tell ya’ll the truth–

    Y’all need to LISTEN to what Khadija is saying in her new post, “Dystopia Now, Part 4”.

    I have seen how “beautiful” AIDS (not just HIV) can look. I’ve also seen those who look extremely ill. This is NOT from my nursing practice. I saw these things YEARS ago, in a different context. It impacts pretty single moms, hot jocks, buff personal trainers, married couples, minors, elderly, all races, educated and uneducated. Some of these “pretty boys” suffer from leaking anuses (ani?). But, you don’t know that when you’re looking at the window dressing.

    I’ll tell you what. I appreciated my “reality check”. But, I’M SCARED…..(SH*TLESS). Not to mention the effectiveness of medications that renders the virus undetectable on a blood test, even though the person is actually infected.

    NOW, is not the time to play. The stakes are TOO HIGH.

  10. Now Serena’s making headlines for “eating her dog’s food”. Granted, it was salmon and rice, but why get on snapchat and tell the world that? And why tell everyone on snapchat that you basically had diarrhea because of it?!

    • I saw this earlier. I really don’t know what is wrong with her. She’s probably trying to be funny but can’t see how that affects her negatively on a wider scale. Later people will blame the difference in endorsement dollars between her and Maria solely on race, but can you imagine Maria being daft enough to release a video like this? SMH

  11. I wanted to link to some articles I’ve read that highlight the importance of AA women (and EVERYONE) taking responsibility for their sexual health and decision-making. Some articles I read over 10 years ago. I’ve been trying to find them. One, I just read today. Here are some links:

    I have not yet been able to find the article detailing a stranger sex party that had an obviously AIDS-affllicted man having unprotected sex with an attractive, healthy/fit looking young guy. I can’t remember the title, and I read it many years ago. But, these links highlight what we’re truly facing in this mating game.

    As I’ve said before, CHOOSE WISELY.

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