Get Your Tomatoes Ready, It’s Time To Play Another Game of To the Stocks & Off With Their Heads

Note: I have read the comments concerning editing my posts better. As I said in my previous post I am trying my best but I am extremely short on time especially While I’ll try to be more careful in my proofreading, if someone is interested in proofreading the posts and editing them let me know in the comments.

If you haven’t played TTSOWTH before basically the game is I name people who have actively participated in the destroying the worth, money, interests et al of black women and we not only publicly shame them but we actively decide not support these groups/ entities anymore. This game also serves to highlight all who may have escaped black women’s notice who black women might still be supporting.

I don’t believe in writing posts in anger of transgression I believe in bringing things to attention once an for all before putting my energy elsewhere. Simply put these people are examples of what to AVOID.


First up


Rosanne, “Nuts” Barr

Ms. Barr has not only decided to run for president again but she mistakenly thought she would get there by actively supporting a man on Youtube who supports hate propaganda of black women. (I will not name him, we ALL know who he is) Not only did she support this man and endorse him and his behavior, she also believed that belittling black women who found a problem with this acceptable.


Oprah “One for everybody” Winfrey

Despite being black and a woman and having millions of dollars this woman continually sings the perpetual praises of DBR’s of the Tyler Perry variety. And we all know that Tyler Perry is no friend.



ice t

“Ice (Pimp) T”

Despite admitting that he pimped young women out when he was younger, he refuses to slink away to a corner and live out the rest of his days, instead this cancer continues to fester and “show his tail”.


Perez Hilton

After taking to twitter to say that “inside every gay man is a fierce black woman” he continued to insult angered and offended black women, by likening and comparing them to “Hitler” (Yes he really did). To this odious man I can only say,


Vanessa Williams

After years of being an actress and benefiting from the colorism that still poisons the water, when asked about this issue, she said its “It’s hard to get roles no matter how fair your skin is” downplaying the specific benefits she receives and the racism, other black women face on a daily basis.


Marc Lamont Hill

If you still follow the “news” you will have heard that Mr. Hill took to the world to talk about how Lupita Nyongo is simply a “fetish” for white people, concern trolling black women, while all the while not even being married to a black woman he’s so concerned about.
To Mr. Hill


Mindy Kaling

Despite being a “woman of color” herself, Mindy Kaling writer of the show “The Mindy Project” actively supports cartoonish, buffoonish, black women tropes and stereotyped characters on her show. She’s no ally of mine.




Not only does this man support many misogynists (ahem Robin “Rape Anthem” Thicke) in his business when asked about his colorism on his recent album he trivialized black women’s concerns by accusing black women of simply being “insecure”. Continuing classic bw shaming techniques

If you know of any other people who have clearly deserve to be in the stocks, leave a comment below, letting me know why.
And to the ones currently in the stocks…

Edit: Here is my post  previous editions of  To the Stocks, Off With Their heads!



Until next time….

Note: This Post is one in a series the next post will most likely be
The Girl Who Believed Anything P1 (Subject to Change)


97 thoughts on “Get Your Tomatoes Ready, It’s Time To Play Another Game of To the Stocks & Off With Their Heads

  1. I’ll add one more name to this list: W. Kamau Bell, that states that White America’s “obsession” with Lupita is dangerous (I won’t link it, a Google search with his name & hers will pull up the interview). This coming from a BM that is married to a WW, and who has done NADA to uplift BW.

    While I don’t believe in foolishly riding for Lupita (honestly, she hasn’t proven herself an ally of American BW yet), I know that she is a BW, and I don’t want any man (ESPECIALLY one that hasn’t seen fit to pass on his wealth/legacy through a woman that looks remotely like Lupita) minimizing her accomplishments. Basically, he’s implying that she’s only popular because White people are fetishizing her, instead of recognizing that recognition =/= fetishization.

    • While I don’t believe in foolishly riding for Lupita (honestly, she hasn’t proven herself an ally of American BW yet), I know that she is a BW, and I don’t want any man (ESPECIALLY one that hasn’t seen fit to pass on his wealth/legacy through a woman that looks remotely like Lupita) minimizing her accomplishments. Basically, he’s implying that she’s only popular because White people are fetishizing her, instead of recognizing that recognition =/= fetishization.


  2. YES.

    I’m happy to learn we are finally starting to see the importance of not giving to those who hurt us, whether this means withdrawing our financial support or refusing to even mention their names in conversation.

    They do not deserve our money and they certainly do not deserve our attention.

  3. While I don’t believe in foolishly riding for Lupita (honestly, she hasn’t proven herself an ally of American BW yet),…..I’m not coming for you, but…….what exactly is/was Lupita supposed to do? Muslim Boshido also went on a long angry rant about Lupita and for the life of me no one has yet to point out what this woman, who just made her first big movie was supposed to do? When I think of all of the other wonderful bw who have made it, I can’t think of any who were scrutinized to such a degree. Some will ride and die for beyonce (who in my opinion hasn’t done a damn to help improve the image of bw) but Lupita gets a side-eye?. Lupita is trying to positively represent bw like herself who are all too often not light enough to matter, she doesn’t have to run a special campaign just for American bw as if you/we somehow matter more than any other nationality. Given that she is not american, that attitude really comes off as if you are above her. She sees herself as a bw, that should be all that matters…..

    • @SayWhat: But her being a non-American does matter. I didn’t pay to see 12 yrs and I wasn’t going to see it at all, because a group of NON-blacks helmed and starred in an important AA story. And it received so much attention and awards that I honestly believe it wouldn’t have gotten if AAs had of created the project. And what about The Butler? I am no fan of Lee Daniels, but that too was a good film and very important and it barely received any notice once 12 yrs hit the scene. Any coincidence? I think not.

      Muslim Bushido’s post was far from a rant. I get tried of the ole okey doke that
      we’re all the same as blacks: we’re not. Africans in particularly have had a lot
      of negative things to say about AA culture and if it was reversed, if AAs starred
      and helmed an African/Non-AA story it would get no love ESPCIALLY from
      Africans and Non-AAs. They would never support it.

      And until we AA BW get the recognition and exposure we need in Hollywood, it makes so sense to stan for anyone who wouldn’t stan for us. I’m team neutral on Lupita. But I’m team no support for projects that tk from AAs while simultaneously throwing us under the bus.

      • @beaty_in_grace I agree I didn’t see it as a rant either but a discussion on how foolishly black women support anyone before they even show themselves as giving a damn, and then ( like in the case of Pharell) are hurt when they realize that these people “just aren’t that into” black women. I thought it was a very good post.

        • I disagree. She went on about how Lupita and another African actress being on the cover (why that was a shocker is beyond me) was some kind of slap in the face to American bw. I will support the view that the women standing on their own was intentional (several sites noted that as well) but to say her being on there is an insult actually questions her right to be there, otherwise why bring it up?

          This was Lupita’s first major role, pharell has a history of making tracks for bm who don’t hold bw in high regards, not the same thing. pharell showed his behind a long time ago, same as kevin hart, taye digs, terrance howard and so on, but that doesn’t stop bw from supporting these men and the movies they are in, wasn’t best man holiday such a hit that they are making a third movie?

          We always take a chance on actresses, because sometimes the most they will do is uphold a positive self image of bw because they don’t want to be both a producer and an actor. My position is that some are unfairly holding her to a higher standard just because she’s foreign, and that doesn’t sit right with me. If down the line she shows herself than fine, but I think it was bushido herself who wrote a post (it’s in her archive somewhere) about how she once watched the star trek enterprise series until she realized that nothing good was going to come of the bw character (she later died) and stopped watching it, why can’t we give Lupita a black actress the same benefit of the doubt as a white owned franchise?

      • “if AAs starred
        and helmed an African/Non-AA story it would get no love ESPCIALLY from
        Africans and Non-AAs.”

        Gotta call BS here. I haven’t heard any complaints from Africans about AA’s representing famous Africans in movies. As a matter of fact, most don’t take notice at all:
        Don Cheadle playing Paul Rusesabagina in “Hotel Rwanda”
        Derek Luke playing Patrick Chamusso in “Catch a Fire”
        Forest Whitaker playing Idi Amin in “Last Kind of Scotland”

        I understand supporting one’s ethnic group first and foremost, but the above reason doesn’t hold water. And SayWhat is right: Lupita’s representation matters to all BW regardless of ethnic group, just like Kerry Washington’s. Despite what you think, many people see Lupita as just a black woman and don’t hone in on or differentiate her from others according to her ethnic heritage since people often just group black women together, usually when it comes to promoting negative stereotypes about us.
        But you’re free to support whoever you like, and it is refreshing to see black women paying attention to who they support and whether it’s beneficial to them specifically. +1

      • @Beauty_in_Grace As a first gen. American I have heard my share of anti-African things from African Americans as well. It goes both ways and I think this has to be acknowledged. Even “looking” African is an insult. Also, African Americans HAVE played Africans in the past. Morgan Freeman played Mandela. Jen. Hudson played Winnie (and did better than most expected tbh). There were grumbles but hardly the uproar you’re imagining. You cannot assume that an AA driven production of an African story would get no love-the assumption is baseless.

      • As someone already shared, there have been *plenty* of roles where AA’s played the part of a non-AA black person, and hotel rowanda is the best example. Not only did africans not rant the way some folks have (and yes her post was an angry rant), but it was the darling of Hollywood and the world that year and everyone loved how he played the real life character, his accent and everything else was spot on; but, by your logic, that project took from African blacks while simultaneously throwing them under the bus…..I wonder what a boycott would have meant for such an important film/story.

        As far as what non-American blacks have to say about American blacks, that will *always* be a two-way street so I’m not even debating that point, we’d seriously be here till next year debating back and forth.

        • This is so interesting how someone with a grievance about another forum brings their inarticulate argument to somebody else’s blog. Someone whom through my long online history I’ve seen zero participation in efforts that have uplifted many. That is shady and dishonest. There is NOTHING wrong with African American women looking out for their own interests, but it’s very predictable that when they do SOMEONE BLACK has a problem with it. If you can’t read for comprehension and nuance then you lack the necessary respect required to enter into such a debate in the first place, especially when it’s obvious that it’s a close-minded viewpoint. And FYI, you don’t need to agree with every point someone makes but you can certainly evaluate their history, consistency in messaging and how they treat others online. A helpful core message can’t be outright dismissed IF you are truly invested in addressing larger concerns and intended purposes just because you don’t like it.

        • @Faith. Actually my grievance is with ‘anyone’ who I feel is singling out/being unfair to another bw just because she’ s foreign, it just so happen that she recently’ wrote 2 posts about it as well so there is nothing dishonest about my response since it’s how I feel.

          Considering there is a real world outside of blogging, why would you know what my efforts are? I am not a blogger and quite frankly have no intention of being one, since that is not a requirement for posting a response, I quite frankly fail to see your point.

          If you ask that Vogue feature more black women on the cover then there is nothing to question if the bw they choose (this time around) is not born in America… asked for a bw, she’s black…..FIN. There is nothing wrong with having favorites, but to with-hold your support ‘for no other reason’ then because she’s not American to me doesn’t uphold the standards of what BLACK women empowerment is supposed to be about. What is articulate, or quite frankly ’empowering’ about that?

        • “…..I wonder what a boycott would have meant for such an important film/story.”

          What made this movie so important? Do you really think Lupita gives two cents about American slavery? I think not. Don was doing charity work for African. Many AA people have given financial support to Africa.

      • @Say What: Noemi Harris is the other woman on the cover. I am going to give you the benefit of the doubt and assume that you don’t know that for many years, approaching a decade I believe, the AA communtiy has been criticizing Vanity Fair for their lack of diversity when it comes to their Hollywood cover.

        But I do believe that we both know that Hollywood has not, until recently, allowed AA actresses to breathe. So we have these talented AA actresses, Angela Basset anyone, who are growing older and barely working. Then when a challenging role comes, they aren’t used, it would be assumed that maybe they don’t have the skill, but really they aren’t given the opportunity. MB is not saying that Lupita is not talented or that she is undeserving. I also don’t believe she is holding Lupita to a higher standard.

        12 yrs was made outside of Hollywood, and you know why? Because most Whites and non-blacks don’t flock to and support slave films. But you know who does? AAs. I have not seen all of Steve Mc Queens films, but from what I have seen, he does not cast AA women in the lead female roles. Please don’t say Ms. Behaire (sp?) from Sleepy Hollow. I first I thought she was an AA from one of her first films Black Violet. But in a magazine article she made it perfectly clear she’s Nigerian and from somewhere in the Caribbean.

        I would also like to point out that ALL of the important roles in 12 yrs were non-AA. And I did not like Alfre Woodard’s role in the film.

        Lastly and I will mention this again in response to someone else that
        mentioned it, Jennifer Hudson and Terrace Howard made their own
        Winnie and Nelson film. You know where it went? Straight to DVD.
        Not even a mention. So yeah, when a director doesn’t seem to cast
        AAs and takes a story wriiten by an AA, who is going to be
        depended on said AAs at the American box office, it is a slap to the
        face. ESPECIALLY when there are other AA projects out there (The
        Butler) that are being ignored.

        • I read it in People magazine roughly five months ago. I cant remember the exact month off hand.

        • @Beauty…In regards to Nicole, why would it matter if she made it known that she was not American born? Immigrants are often reminded of their ‘otherness’ by natives, it seems to me that that is never a problem until that immigrant becomes successful. You don’t know how often she may have been reminded that she was not American and has in turn accepted that now.

          12 years made $50M, for being out 4 1/2 months, that is paltry, so AA’s did not make that movie successful. To put it in perspective, a Kevin Hart movies makes that in a week-end. The only reason that movie became a success is because of the acting, it was never a box office hit.

          What I mean about holding someone to a higher standard is this: bw made best man holiday a success (I’m still scratching my head over that one), yet it was a film where most of the leads have talked trash about bw, and taye even had a sitcom where he quickly replaced a dark skin baby girl with a lighter one (same thing happened with My Wife and Kids but it was with the teenaged daughter), BUT….as a group, bw had no reservations about seeing that movie…. or any kevin hart movie for that matter, so to research mcqueen and not support because the last 2 women he hired were not American born doesn’t add up. BW didn’t even have to research the men of best man holiday, the comments those fools made were actually recent, so why research McQueen? Why is it ok to support men who blatantly erase us whenever they can, or openly disrespect us yet be on the fence about a man whose only ‘mis-step’ is to have not hired an American women yet? Again, we are all entitled to our own opinions and will most likely not change our views, but to me there is a huge disconnect.

        • @Say What, Chizo…2014:

          After reading your responses I have to point out that I believe that this discussion is being carried out on a foundation of dishonesty. But I will respond anyway.

          ~ Who said Nicole couldn’t say her nationality? I never said that. My issue is be upfront in the beginning. Don’t take AA roles to get jobs then distance yourself once you gain notoriety.

          ~ I know AAs ask ignorant questions about African’s cultures, but at least they ask. I have had Africans go on and on bashing AA culture, as if they have first hand knowledge, only they don’t know ANY AAs personally. AND go out of their way to avoid AAs.

          ~ The dishonesty and elephant in the room is that Africans don’t respect AAs culture and by extension they don’t respect AAs. People keep commenting and ignoring the fact that many Africans feel this way. Also the majority of BWE writers are not African women. And I personally feel like the embracing of Lupita partially comes from the work of BWE writers setting the stage for BW to embrace their own black beauty and therefore hers.

          Why then after all this would AA women go out of their way to boost the career of ANYONE who is not a proven ally?

          ~ Say What you keep bringing up the likes of Kevin Kart etc. Who here at this site champions these people? We are trying to think critically here, this site has been consistent on it’s stance in not supporting men or women who abuse BW. As for BMH, there were BW in that movie too… I don’t think those characters reflected BW poorly.

          ~ The budget for 12 yrs was 20 mil
          It made 56 mil in the US. I’m pretty sure 80% came from AA pockets. We know that most of those AA pockets were female.

          It made 121,700,00 internationally and was nominated from several Oscars and other awards. Don’t tell me that film wasn’t successful. Don’t tell me this won’t boost McQueen’s career and put the actors off to a great start.

          But see how quickly you went to poopoo AA contributions. That’s what I’m referring to.

          ~ While I was thinking over all of this it hit me: They casted ALL of the lead roles non-AA because they needed it to sell overseas. The black Europeans, you know what I mean, which are mainly of African and Caribbean descent wouldn’t support it any other way. And they don’t send AA films overseas because the blacks there won’t support them.

          But they knew that as long as AAs saw black faces they would blindly support it.

          ~ By the way I don’t support Kevin Hart or the others but you know what? He has given 3 obviously AA women non-stereotypical (from what I understand) roles this year. That is more than I can say for Mr. McQueen.


      • @AAY: Those films were made by white Hollywood for white and white identified audiences. 12 yrs had to be supported by blacks here in the U.S. because they rarely send “black films” or films of this type overseas. But I see your point. I don’t think it bothered Africans because they are not the targeted audience. With 12yrs AAs are the target audience here in the U.S.

        I also have read African women mk the distinction and comment on how finally there is a black actress that is poised and articulate. As though AA women are not poised and articulate. I have also read African women mk this distinction when it came to IR dating. A “we are not walking stereotypes unlike them” if you will.

        All in all I think Lupita is freshing. At fashion week she took a pic
        with Rihanna and Rih just looked so used up and worn out! And
        Lupita looked so lady like. I won’t condemn nor stan for her. Team
        neutral. What I won’t do is send money on someone who wouldn’t hire me.

        • @Beauty in Grace & Mrs. Glam,

          Thank you. Thank you. THANK YOU. I 100% co-sign your comments. For me, all these conversations have always been about African-American BW learning how to place their OWN interests first and foremost. I wrote a new MB post in response to the excellent conversation that’s taking place in the comment section here; but I did want to emphasize some basic points for the AA women who are reading here. I apologize in advance for the length of this comment. It’s the only comment I’ll make here to this wonderful conversation. I also apologize if I accidentally post a duplicate comment—I had a bit of trouble with my laptop.

          Beauty in Grace, like you said, many of the dissenters are responding from a foundation of dishonesty. I would submit that they’re doing this in order to protect their own ethnic groups’ monetary and other interests. The foreign-origin dissenters are following the money and resource trail. They want to ensure that AA resources (including any and all material benefits reaped from AA history, such as this “12 Years A Slave” flick) keep flowing into their people’s pockets. And so, they’ll put forth just about any argument (honest or dishonest) to keep these money trails flowing toward their OWN people. I don’t blame them for that. That’s what rational people do: maximize their OWN self- and group-interests. I simply want AA women consumers to wake up, smell the coffee, and get hip to these okey-dokes.

          There’s nothing unusual or inappropriate about West Indians celebrating Steve McQueen making money and getting a career boost (off of an AA person’s autobiography). Likewise, there’s nothing unusual or inappropriate about Africans celebrating Lupita making money and getting a career boost (off an AA person’s autobiography). There’s nothing unusual or wrong about them wanting to ensure that people from their ethnic groups keep on reaping the benefits of AA history and resources. [Incidentally, I’m Team Neutral about Lupita. I don’t care for or against her. My focus in on who gets to benefit from AA women consumers’ money. I’d prefer that AA women reap the benefits from their own money.]

          These dissenters know that Africans didn’t, don’t, and WON’T launch rabid and fanatical crusades in financial support of movies in which AA actors starred as Africans like Mandela, etc. Not anything like the way AA women consumers launch crusades to lift up other people’s projects. My issue with those AA-made movies about foreign Blacks is that it’s a waste of AA actors’ and actresses’ resources to spend their time, energy or anything else on telling somebody else’s story. Especially on telling Mandela’s story. I’m older than a lot of other readers here. I participated in the anti-apartheid movement when I was in college. Among other movement activities, I screamed myself hoarse yelling “Free Nelson Mandela” while pressuring my college’s board of directors to divest the school’s money from the Nazi regime in South Africa. Follow the money trail.

          After Nelson got free, AAs didn’t see or hear from Nelson. Nelson’s government did not launch joint South African-AA business ventures. I also noticed that the African women students (including the South African ones) were NOT bothering with protesting or other Sista Soldier-type behaviors. They were too busy securing quality, upwardly-mobile husbands for themselves. They were busy following their money trails and making sure that anything they engaged in brought material benefits to themselves. First and foremost. I learned from all of that. I want other AA women to start ensuring that anything they engage in (or support) brings benefit to themselves. First and foremost.

          The vast majority of 1st-gen BWE bloggers are AA women. We use the term “Black” women’s empowerment because most AAs conflate race and ethnicity. When most AAs refer to “Black,” we’re referring to ourselves as AAs. The issues that BWE bloggers discuss are located in America’s AA-inhabited residential areas and social circles. It’s dishonest for folks to pretend like they don’t know that.

          The foreign-origin dissenters are following the money trails, and saying whatever they think will support their groups’ money trails. The AA dissenters are naïvely continuing the AA tradition of putting other people’s interests first.

          I don’t blame foreign-origin Blacks for wanting to continue reaping the benefits of AAs’ various resources. That’s what rational people do: maximize their OWN self- and group-interests. Everybody does that except AAs, who are naively preoccupied with “being fair” to everybody except ourselves. AA male misleaders have encouraged AAs to keep engaging in the gullible behavior of worrying about other people who are not worrying about AAs. They’ve also encouraged us to maintain an oppositional relationship with our own country. Which is why it rarely occurs to the “typical” AA that the bulk of immigrants are uninvited guests in our home country.

          By “uninvited,” I mean the fact that immigrants come to the U.S. of their own accord to make money—and without being invited to come here. Unlike the situation in the UK after WWII (in which the UK government explicitly and officially put policies in place to invite West Indians and others from British colonies to move to the UK to work), nobody invited the bulk of immigrants to come here.

          Furthermore, our AA civil rights martyrs are the reason why nonwhite immigrants are even here in such large numbers in the first place. The AA Civil Rights Movement led to, and influenced, the Immigration and Nationality Act of 1965. Prior to African-Americans’ Civil Rights Movement, White Americans were quite clear about keeping non-Europeans out of this country.

          I don’t know about anybody else, but I don’t like it when uninvited guests show up in my house or my country and then want to talk greasy to me.

          Many African-Americans refuse to understand that other so-called people of color (including many foreign Blacks) are actually RIVALS for the wealth, resources and opportunities that our people’s slave labor and civil rights struggles created. We want to believe that we are in “coalitions” with other people, and that we’re all on the same team.

          Umm. . . No. What has happened is that other ethnic groups have harnessed AAs’ consumer dollars, energy and other resources in support of their own agendas. It’s not anybody else’s fault that AAs have generally been too silly, too naïve, and too gullible to look after our own ethnic group’s interests. Praise God, it’s a new day and that’s beginning to change! {smile}

        • @Miss Nassif: No THANK YOU for all of your writing and the time you’ve given us. I had some of these concepts in my soul but BWE has allowed them to be nurtured and developed.

          So again thank you for deeming us worthy of your time because we all know it is more valuable and precious than money.

      • Oprah too needs to wake the duck up. Yes, its her money and she can spend it any way she wishes. However, there are absolutely too many intelligent AA girls Ms. Winfrey could have sent to college. There are very rich Africans and I have yet to learn of one who have supposed a group of AA girls the way Oprah did.

    • @SayWhat- I don’t foolishly ride for anyone, firstly. ESPECIALLY no one that has yet shown me that they are an ally to me. What can Lupita do? Well, should she decide to direct/produce a creative work, will she employ American BW, or will she employ Kenyan women and ensure that no money comes back to American BW that are currently supporting her career? I would certainly not be upset with her for employing her fellow Kenyan women, because I do not ride for ANYONE that hasn’t proven that they are concerned with my interests. I don’t ride for Beyonce, either, but she does have an ALL-FEMALE band, that employs BW. At this point, she has put some money and influence toward employing and giving exposure to several American BW.

      Being content with representation isn’t enough- remember, Taraji Henson is an American BW, that isn’t extremely light-skinned, but she was in a Tyler Perry flick, as was Sanaa Lathan, Alfre Woodard, and Whoopi Goldberg. I’m glad that they’re making money, but the roles they were in did NOTHING for uplifting BW.

      I don’t think I’m “above” anyone, and if being judicious with my support sounds snobby, then that’s really a matter of your interpretation. I do reserve the right to pick and choose how I support others, and, for me, representation is not a strong enough reason for me to “ride” for anyone

      Everyone else has mentioned that Muslim Bushido didn’t come off as an “angry rant”, and I concur. It was a call for critical thinking, and I can appreciate Khadija’s stance without blindly adopting it as my own. In this case, I agree that it is important to ask ourselves if loyalty to certain parties will result in benefits for us, or if it will result in elevating others on our dimes.

      • …she should decide to produce/direct a creative work….I actually answered this already, but some people don’t have that in them, I rather a black actress pick her roles wisely than try her hand at a project just to bomb.

        beyoncé is the same woman who tells women to ‘bow down b#tches’, takes projects where she not only looks as European as she can, but married a man who has not only physically assaulted bw, but help make b#tch and h#e our middle name. So I don’t see her as empowering anyone other than herself and her sister.

        As I already wrote, I have no problem with taking a harder look at people, you’re supposed to, but it looks to me like the bar is being set higher for Lupita just because she’s foreign.

        • “I rather a black actress pick her roles wisely than try her hand at a project just to bomb.”
          We’ll have to agree to disagree, because as long as Black actresses are content with simply playing roles as opposed to realizing their own creative visions, they will not be able to create inheritable legacies. It takes being the one behind the camera to create opportunities for other BW. And, for clarity’s sake, her creative visions don’t have to be limited to movies/TV/theatre productions that could potentially “bomb”. She could open an arts program that does acting workshops, sponsor a scholarship program, or even create a charity. The test will be when we see who benefits from her visions. I’ll refrain from cheerleading until I have a good reason to do so.

          “So I don’t see her as empowering anyone other than herself and her sister.”
          You’re right, which is why *I* never said that Beyoncé is “empowering” anyone. Bey is EMPLOYING folks, and putting her money and influence behind several American BW. Who Bey chooses to look like, wed or bed is not an immediate concern, and while I believe her lyrics are horrible and demeaning, she is STILL feeding some American BW (again, for clarity, she’s cutting paychecks). Honestly, we have to realize that for most people, who they work for isn’t a big deal, so long as they are paid well, treated decently, and can do what they love. If we each scrutinized our employers like we do Bey, most of us would be disturbed by what we found. Would we quit, though, ESPECIALLY if we are treated well, compensated well, and enjoy the job that we do? I’d venture to say that most people wouldn’t, because they don’t have to take their employers home with them! This is definitely not a Bey defense- I don’t like her or her music. It is, however, a fair way to view the “questionable employer” scenario, by removing the celebrity and looking at the basic situation.

          “it looks to me like the bar is being set higher for Lupita just because she’s foreign.” I don’t see it as that, but that’s going to vary by person, anyway. It’s very possible that what you’ve seen and heard is just that- folks setting the bar higher because Lupita is foreign born- so I’ll speak for MYSELF. I am not setting the bar higher, but I find it peculiar that a group that has so many resources (BW) would support anyone that has not yet done a thing for them and their uplift. I look at how other groups treat “newbies” on the Hollywood scene- they give them time to see if they will uplift or embarrass their group. There are repercussions when these groups are offended by what they see. Several WW actresses have found themselves on the Z list when they have proven themselves embarrassing (Tara Reid, Mischa Barton, and too many others to name). So, I’ll say this: I’m neutral. Love her clothing, I think her poise is fantastic, but I’m not “rallying” around her and praising her for just BEING. Uh-uh. I think most BW would get better results if their praise and support wasn’t given away so freely to skinfolk. Letting people prove that they are kinfolk would ensure that BW are putting their support behind people and concepts that are bringing a ROI back to BW.

    • If I am not mistaken, K. mentioned how that magazine made the bw look as if they were by themselves. Julia Roberts was sitting on a bm’s lap. She was whopping it up! But, the two bw did appear stand-offish or not a part of the group picture. Everyone but the two bw women were leaning on each other. This is what I believe K. meant.

  4. Good post. The Perez Hilton remark reminds me of an incident that happened at my job. An older gay white man who is high up in the company told my co-worker who is a black woman that he believed that he was a black woman in another life. That’s just ridiculous. For some reason, certain gay white men are fascinated by black women, the stereotypical kind (neck rolling, Mammy behaving, asexual, sassy, and overweight) not sure what that’s about, but I don’t like it. Like the famous YouTuber (young white male) with questionable sexuality (he has a gf but I still wonder) who has an overweight black woman sidekick, the more she acts a fool, the more I shake my head. I stopped watching. Moving on to Oprah, the reason I think she’s embracing DBR black men is because she needs ratings for her network. And I think she’s blinded by her friendship with Tyler Perry to see the damage he’s doing. I work in the entertainment industry and I know OWN was really struggling. But I think she sank to a new low when she made up with Snoop Dogg; that was just weird. As for Lupita, that really got me mad. I didn’t hear any concern about Rhianna or Beyonce being fetishsized when they became mainstream successes with white audiences. I watched Marc Lamont Hill try to defend himself on Huff Post Live when the black women bloggers took him to task about his comments (What About Our Daughters, Beyond Black White and Pretty Period were all guests); he wasn’t trying to hear what they had to say; it was pathetic. But I’m glad they tried. Look forward to your next post.

    • “Moving on to Oprah…And I think she’s blinded by her friendship with Tyler Perry to see the damage he is doing.”
      I do not agree. Oprah is an astute woman, friendship is not blinding her. She’s a powerful black woman, she is considered an exception to the stereotypical rules of ‘black femaleness’ She is rarely affected by the tropes, memes and daily microagressions that other black women have to deal with in America or elsewhere in the world. Money and power when you are a black woman, gives you that slight edge. Hers is a case of ‘not my cause ergo moving on’. She has a platform (and a diverse audience) where she could highlight black women’s issues and show black women in a different light (different from the racist and patriarchal steroetypes) but she has not. That is her prerogative, I’m not saying she has to – black women are free to do as they please with whatever resources, privileges and power they develop. With Oprah, I am of the opinion that she avoids the ‘I am a black woamn and all the connotations that come with that’ in order to avoid alienating her white [majority] audience. But Oprah ‘arriving’ and being the “special snowflake” does nothing practically to build black women. Oprah reconciling with Snoop, being friends with JayZ and Tyler Perry is an endorsement of these characters and is tacit acceptance of their hatred and misogynistic treatment of black women.

    • “For some reason, certain gay white men are fascinated by black women, the stereotypical kind (neck rolling, Mammy behaving, asexual, sassy, and overweight) not sure what that’s about, but I don’t like it.”

      I’ve noticed that groups who fashion themselves as “disadvantaged” tend to take liberties with BW, including insulting us to our faces under the guise of joking or keeping it real. That includes gay white men, black men, the so-called people of color. White men, because they are called out just about every day of the week, usually keep their negative perceptions of BW to themselves because they have no defense for it. These other groups will go to, “we’ve been discriminated against too…we only mimic or talk (crap) about black women because we admire them.” Pish tosh! And so many black women are myopically focused on white male racism that they tend to accept these BS excuses, and are ready again to join hands with these enemy “allies.”

      • “And so many black women are myopically focused on white male racism that they tend to accept these BS excuses, and are ready again to join hands with these enemy “allies.” ”

        YES! This is so true. The myopia that some BW have is unsettling and dangerous. We see how letting others “use” our image to enrich themselves has gotten us nowhere.

  5. Love this post! I would like to take it a step further, let’s take the heads of Pharell, Roseann Bar, Perez Hilton, and Marc Lamont Hill put them on the tops of sticks and parade them through the town.

    As for someone who criticized you volunteering to proof read…..I can’t wait to hear about the women busting down your door. #soeasytocriticize_yetunwillingtohelp.

  6. Oprah just needed help with ratings; I think everyone knows that. I lost respect for Ice-T because of who he chose to marry (particularly for the reasons he married her). We know Perez is already washed up….

    But I don’t agree with your interpretation of what Vanessa Williams’ said. You wrote, “she said its “It’s hard to get roles no matter how fair your skin is” downplaying the specific benefits she receives and the racism, other black women face on a daily basis.” I don’t know if that’s necessarily downplaying other skin hues versus just stating her own reality. For example, if I make comments about the hardships of being a Black woman I’m not necessarily downplaying the hardships of Hispanic women; I’m just commenting on my own life….

    • Not necessarily, If you asked , “What do you think about domestic violence concerning hispanic women” and then I replied, “domestic violence hurts all races” that is skating over issues concerning hispanic women. Just as when black women talk about sexism white feminists say, “sexism affects everyone” or when black women talk to bm about domestic violence, rape etc, they reply with “men of all races rape/ steal/ kill” that is simply deferring payments and avoiding SPECIFIC questions. she wasn’t asked about all of hollywood she was asked about DARK SKINNED BLACK WOMEN, she chose to downplay and defer and gloss over.
      Been there, done that, bought the T shirt. Everyones experiences aren’t the same, and she’s simply wants to avoid that because she’s privileged.

      • +1
        She wants to protect her own interests regardless of who’s trodden underfoot, simple as that. We need not ascribe more innocence to her comments than is actually there.

  7. I read that article by Pharell, who also stated that ,” BW don’t need me to represent them..”.
    I’m not sure how much clearer these men have to make themselves about their overall low opinion/erasure of BW.
    So you have BW who are still in denial hoping BM will, “wake up” and on the flip side, Black girls who are graciously accepting their removal from mainstream culture, concerning areas of beauty/femininity, but readily disgest the toxic images.
    The lines are easily blurred when you have someone like Oprah, who accepts these kind of men into her brand.
    The programming at the inception of her network is starkly different than her line up of shows now.
    Most of her programs had WW at the helm. Rosie, Suze Orman, a couple others and projects by Jenny Mccarthy and the Judds that fell through or were cancelled. She thought that the large WF following would transfer from her daytime show to her own network. It did not.. enter Tyler Perry.
    Who is the majority of HIS base?…BW.
    She switched the programming to feature more BW, he brought two popular shows, she turned a profit.
    (The day that even a 1/3 of BW realize the power they have and actually use it solely for their benefit, some industries/institutions will
    collapse as a result).
    Some of you ladies mentioned Snoop Dogg, guess you didn’t see the interview with her
    new BFF…Kevin Hart, who by the way received a Image Award from the NAACP.
    OLS, thanks for putting a “woman of color” on
    this list as well. No one gets a pass!
    You need help with typos…I would be happy to help in anyway I can.
    I’m on your e mail list: d****.m****@yahoo!

    • Whew, you said a MOUTHFUL! OWN was never designed to appeal to BW- we can tell by who she lined up for the programming. For a while, the only BW that had a show on OWN (besides O) was Gayle! (I’m not sure when Iyanla’s show started, but I’m pretty sure it wasn’t part of the initial programming lineup). When White dollars weren’t keeping OWN afloat, then Oprah started to go back into BW’s pockets. Cue Sweetie Pies, TP’s crap, and several other reality TV shows that feature Black casts. This shouldn’t be surprising, though- Khadija wrote about how networks use “Black” programming to pay the bills, and they eventually replace that programming with the things that White consumers want to watch. It may take years, but eventually BW’s dollars and consumer power will make it possible for generations of WW to enjoy OWN as Oprah originally intended :/

        • Oops…sorry I can’t go back and edit. I wanted to add as a caveat of sorts, that Oprah’s largest demographics have been white women age 55 and older for years. This is no defense, given how she’s hired a mostly white staff of women producers as well. So….it;s just yukky all around. I’ve always said Oprah has too many unresolved issues surrounding the sexual abuse she survived as a child. Damaged people do damaged things and we know how many black women are the walking wounded despite degrees, fancy clothes or career success….

        • I agree with Oprah’s selection of mainly ww producers. What do they really know about other culture women’s lives? Other than what they see on TV. Esther Rolle used to complaint that Jewish people wrote the script for Good Times, no black writers.

          I could be wrong but, I do not think Oprah is all that concern about bw’s rights. But, I could be wrong.

  8. The main reason Black women have always supported bm because we never place ourselves first and foremost. Khadija has several excellent post on follow the money trial. Add these DBR to the list:
    Hill Harper
    Ted Lange
    Eddie Murphy
    Phillip Morris, Greg Morris son of mission impossible
    Alphonso Ribeiro
    Those men who had a black woman or wife in the beginning when they were broke a**** and then when the seven digits figures start rolling in , see yea black women. I was watching Hollywood unsung and they did a piece on Flip Wilson. Him, Redd Foxx Sammy Davis Jr. all had non-black wives and made life comfortable for them. When Sammy Davis Jr. was on his death bed then you know he had to find a mule because how dare a Black women have a comfortable life. You job is care for others first and yourself second. Black women are also surrounded by other black women who goes to the bat for the bm and then we he craps on him , you some how blame a black women for not muling more. Most , correction all of black men in Hollywood have been successful of the black women backs and then he tells you STFU when he is out spending you money with some other woman. Marc Lamont Hill was the one that trying to make remarks about Eve fiancé and she put him in check with a hot quickness. The reason the movie 12 years a slave makes a people uncomfortable because as Black people, we are still dealing with discrimination and even though when they make movies about the mistreatment of Jews, the Jews has set in place that if you cause us problems, we will affect you in the pocket book. People know that they will be no punishment when you talk about blacks, but talk about a Jew and you too threw. They tolerate ZERO foul behavior. The bm degraded us for 30 YEARS THROUGH C/RAP and then feign concern about what whites are doing to black women. Get a grip! Clean thy own house first.

  9. Donald Faison of the television program scubs. Nasty bugger, would come to the pharmacy where I used to work at with his wife. Not overly fun of black women either

  10. Jamie Foxx who sexuality is definitely in question.
    Michael Warren of Hill Street Blues and his son Cash Warren who is married to Jessica Alba. She too was claiming she was of Mexican and Danish decent but they seem to find their way to black films and then when they get famous , #seeyea. Chris Rock, DL Hugely Steve Harvey. Dr. Dre who no more than a doctor than I am a neurosurgeon. I am not sure about Ice Cube. So I don’t know about him. Can’t think of anyone else for now. But I will stay tune and keep posting as developments come in. (LOL)!

  11. Ice Cube is a Harvey Two Face. Made his start as a gangsta rapper in NWA which ushered in the BW as bitches and hoes era.

    We might as well in this case add Jason Bateman to this list as he has some new movie that has an overweight BW hooker. I guess he really tried to cover all of the bases with that one…

  12. There are too many of these losers to mention.

    Pretty much 80% of all BM singers, actors, comedians and other BM in the public eye and 99% of rappers fall under this category.

    And then there’s all the non black chancers gettting off on showing their hatred of us whenever possible such as repellent white ‘feminist heroine’ Lisa Dunham of ‘Girls’ (where there are no black girls in NY) fame.

    Like maggots they’ve been allowed to infest our society because of the trained docility and passivity to abuse of BW in the BC.

    They all need to go so it calls for a scorched earth policy.

    I piss on all their graves!

  13. I’ll admit I used to watch Roseanne’s first show with John Goodman. That was before I realized that Rosie is mentally deficient. She is crazy. No one takes this fool seriously. She is an attention whore. She was trying to drum up business for that nut factory of hers. And, no I will never buy any of her products.

  14. I had to reply, sorry (I could not find a comment section on Boshido’s page by the way). There is no dishonesty if AA to means someone who is both a citizen of the US and is a descendant of Africa. I’m not going to touch on the latino aspect of this discussion b/c i’m not latino.

    I’m african american and Haitian. So speaking on that country’s behalf, I’m actually not ‘uninvited’. To give you a brief history of the relationship between US and Haiti, the Haitian revolution not only forced France to sell Louisiana to the US, but France supported the US revolution to keep the British from reaping the benefits of the slaves in Haiti who made that colony the richest colony in the world at that time. They basically used the island and the slave’s free labor to help finance the American Revolutionary war. I can’t give you a link to the full original article, but I can give you a link to several rewrites, you have to be a subscriber to Boston Globe to get the original rewrite for free. So my point is that it is not just your ancestor’s labor that helped build this country, mine did too, so I’m not ‘uninvited’, my ancestor’s free labor played a part in making this country as well.

    As you stated, civil rights leaders were not just american, W.E.B Dubois’s parents were actually Haitian and he is a civil rights icon. So again, my family is not ‘unfairly’ benefiting from anything. As you said, in your lifetime you have met foreign AA’s who have stood shoulder to shoulder with american born blacks, my family is such a family, so I’m not being greasy, I’m being offended when you try to say that I’m taking anything from you or that I’m a not only a guest, but an uninvited one and need to hush, or at least not be opposing, by the contributions that Haiti/Haitians have made……. I was invited a long time ago.

    In regards to the ivy league college essay, the link does not work, I’ve tried to access it several different ways and all I can get are the rewrites, but from the rewrites, what some are saying is that it is not a matter of being given preferential treatment, but more so who’s applying and who is more qualified when they apply. I won’t touch that argument because then we get into why immigrants ‘supposedly’ prosper more in America than native blacks, that argument has been exhausted to death, so I won’t rehash it.

    I could go on but my point is that I’m not trying to pull the wool over anyone’s eyes. This isn’t a trick to make you think i’m on your side then run with your riches when you are not looking. Know who your friends and enemies are, that is prudent regardless of race or gender, but the bar of ‘allegiance’ to me is being set higher for foreign blacks then it is for natives right out the gate, the irony is that some of us are actually not as foreign as you think! Best man holiday is a movie with trash talking black men, but it made over $143M and that is OK with some of you (I had a difference of opinion with someone on this very blog about that), but yet your focus is on 12 years? That doesn’t sit well with me. Yes Beyonce employs bw, so does Tyler Perry (neither help bw overall in my opinion), that is why so many refuse to hold his feet to the fire, so the waiting period for Lupita to me seems harsh in comparison to who is readily accepted. I believe you when you say you don’t dislike her, but how much is she being asked to prove here? is my overall point.

    • @SayWhat,

      Your reply has me doing what I said I wouldn’t do: making another comment over here. {smile} Lemme take it from the top:

      (1) But you DID try to trick us during this conversation. You didn’t tell us that you’re of foreign-origin (partially or fully Haitian heritage) until now. You talked loud and greasy during this conversation while pretending to be African-American. That’s called lying by omission. Allies don’t lie to allies.

      (2) I understand that as a foreign-origin Black person (specifically Haitian heritage), you want other Haitians (like Nicole Beharie might be) to continue being able to reap the benefits of AAs’ slave labor and civil rights struggle. You’re looking out for your ethnic group’s interests. That’s fine. Just like you, I’m also looking our for MY own ethnic group’s interests.

      Aside from your original lying by omission about being of foreign-Black heritage, I have no problem with you trying to protect Haitians’ and other foreign-origin Blacks’ access to AA-produced resources. In the real-life world of adult issues, everybody’s interests aren’t always in sync or alignment. Even genuine allies aren’t always in alignment when it comes to their respective interests.

      There’s not going to be any agreement between us about this point because I will never agree to non-AAs taking the benefits that were produced by my people. Only a crazy person is happy to see outsiders snatch up the food that person grew, cooked, and prepared off their plate. AAs have been passively watching other people snatch up the “food” that our AA martyrs grew, cooked and prepared off our plates—while we continue to starve. That’s crazy; and I’m happy to see that more AA women are waking up about that.

      (3) But you ARE uninvited. In the late 1940s, the UK sent ships like the Windrush to Jamaica to go and get the Jamaicans they had invited to the UK, and bring them over to the UK to live and work. By contrast, no American government invited you or yours to come live in the U.S. No American government sent a ship to come pick you and yours up, and bring you and yours from Haiti to come live here in the U.S. Y’all came (and continue to come) here on your own. Uninvited.

      (4) Please don’t try to claim the AA-led civil rights movement as your own. It’s annoying when outsiders try to rewrite history and claim AAs’ accomplishments for themselves. Like you, a lot of Jews have been fond of also trying to do that regarding their participation in the AA civil rights movement. A handful of outsiders participated, but the bulk of the people who struggled, sacrificed and were beaten and killed during the civil rights movement were AAs. There’s no rewriting that history.

      (5) Please don’t try to define membership in my ethnic group. You don’t get to decide who is and is not AA. Only AAs get to decide that. The same way I don’t get to (nor would I try to) define who is and is not part of the Haitian ethnic group.

      @AA readers,

      This little episode is a good example of several things. First of all, there’s no reason to be angry at foreign-origin Black folks. It’s not their fault that up to now AAs have been too silly to look out for our own interests.

      Second, it’s a good example of why it’s nearly impossible to have a productive conversation with foreign-origin Blacks about these types of issues. Because our different ethnic groups’ interests are in basic conflict on this issue. Non-AA Blacks want to KEEP reaping the benefits of our AA ancestors’ slave labor and civil rights movement. They want to protect the current status quo in terms of them continuing to have access to AAs-produced resources. Which is quite logical and to be expected. Rational people maximize their own self- and group-interests.

      Whenever AAs talk about redirecting our own resources to benefit ourselves, many of these other people will holler and talk greasy because that means they don’t get to eat the food off our plates anymore. Nobody ever wants a gravy train to stop running. I don’t blame them for that.

      But I do want more AA women to practice discernment. Even before she disclosed her foreign-origin heritage, I (and some other commenters) could discern what was really motivating some of these other commenters’ comments. Could you? If not, try to remember that most AAs are not like AAs—non-AAs (of all types) are basically self- and group-interested. Unlike AAs, foreign-origin Blacks have not been programmed to put other people’s interests above their own. They’re going to look out for their own interests. Which is what you should do as an AA.

      • I did not try to trick you, I’ve already shared my heritage on Clutch (and I know both sites shared readers including OLS), not to mention, it is not a requisite for posting. I was not nor will I ever be loud and greasy (that insult can easily be directed to you as well by the way). Once you started to call out foreigners as not having ‘earned’ the right to speak and being ‘uninvited’, then I pulled out Haitian roots to show how some of us are really not as foreign as you think. That was the basis of my argument…..still is.

        Lastly, I was invited… if the US used the blood/sweat of Haitian slaves to help fight the revolutionary war, then I was invited.That is not a rewrite of history, that is a FACT. They used Haitian slave labor to help their war for freedom, just because they dismiss that little fact doesn’t mean it did not happen. They also dismiss American slave contributions, do you let them? No. I’m doing the same. You use the analogy of growing food and not letting others eat it, the only problem with that is in this case, some of the food was grown elsewhere and the person was never compensated, and if so, that person has a right to lay claim to the feast, your options are to either pay them for their contribution or share. You may not agree with me and try to use my Haitian roots to dismiss me, but that doesn’t change anything if your basis for having a voice is the contribution of slave labor to help make the US a success. Haitians did that.

        That is my final say, we are not going to agree and that is fine.

        • @Say What: You have taken a discussion about where AA’s should spend their resources (supporting their own communities) and made it about attacking you and your ancestors. AND IT’S NOT ABOUT THAT.

          I gave reasons as to why immigrant communities should prove they are allies through their actions BEFORE AA’s support them because it’s common sense. And because many times over AA’s, women particularly, have supported people who took their resources and never reciprocated.

          But let’s be real: You know this. You’re just trying to convolute the discussion to discredit what’s being said. You wanted to know why Lupita isn’t being supported more by AA women.

          The answer is because she hasn’t proven herself to be our ally.

        • @Say What: In direct response to your last comment….

          This is not Clutch magazine and even if it was we are not gonna remember your ethnicity. So yes there was some omission involved.

          When it comes to the term AA you understand exactly what is meant. Stop with the semantic games.

          Did you know that when some Asian and Arabic people immigrate to this country they are given large sums of money to bring their skills and talents to the US? Are Africans and people from the Caribbean offered monies and asked to come? If not then you have not been invited.

          This is what MB means. Not that she or other AAs don’t want black immigrants here. No one is saying that.

          { I } am saying: don’t criticize our culture. It’s not the black immigrants place and many times the countries of said immigrants aren’t doing to well. In short the criticism could go both ways.

          I really just find it telling that you expect AA’s to support black immigrants without AAs first knowing that the support would be mutual through the deeds and actions of said immigrants.

  15. I’m going to jump in before I move on to my new post and say that really the point is that African American and by that I mean what Khadija is referring don’t have to support people who have not proven that they are actual allies. I think the point that Khadija is making ( and a very good one) is that many people like Mcqueen and Nyongo who aren’t even REMOTELY near African American are befitting from a history that is not their own. McQueen is British and Nyongo is Nigerian and Mexican. At the same time American black women have not and will not see the fruits of such projects. Which I think is what other readers also have a problem with.
    I think Khadija (and she can correct me, i wouldn’t want to speak incorrectly for her) is saying that American black women are not required, and should feel guilty about not supporting project by people like McQueen or Nyongo who don’t even share the same history, do not consider themselves allies, (Mcqueen has done nothing to hire American black women) and looking out for their best interests. Because it is natural for all groups to do this. But in many cases the onus is on American Black women to be “fair” and “inclusive” while other people keep their benifits/ privileges

    • @OneLessSoldier,

      What you’ve said here is exactly my point. THANK YOU.

      AAs’ historical misleadership class has programmed AA women to worry about being (as you said) “fair” and “inclusive” while other people keep their benefits/ privileges. Time out for that self-sabotaging okey-doke.

    • I agree. But, McQueen is showing all women of African decent what he really thinks of them by marrying a w/British woman. Hmmm, now who is really benefitting from AA’s history? To be honest I never heard of this guy until the Oscars.

  16. Yes, a higher standard is set by American black women for Lupita and any other person who is not an American black. So? All groups set a higher standard for outsiders than they do for their group members. Why is it so unusual when American blacks want to do what others do as a matter of course? Are we not entitled to set standards?

    Further I don’t know how any Haitian can feel “invited” to the US after the US government’s actions in the 1980s and 1990s to people of Haitian descent. Perhaps the poster forgot or never knew due to her age that four groups of people were automatically assumed to be carriers of HIV: hemophiliacs, homosexuals, heroin users and Haitians. This did not bode well for Haitians already in the US. No other ethnic group was saddled with this burden. When large numbers of Haitian refugees attempted to enter the US after the overthrow of Aristide, the first President Bush ordered the Coast Guard to stop bringing the Haitian boats to Miami and ordered them to the US military base in Guantanamo. The majority of those refugees were deported back to Haiti for being economic refugees and the remainder (political refugees) were ordered to undergo HIV tests before being allowed entry to the US. Does this sound like welcoming behavior to anyone?

  17. One book I would recommend for black American women. “When and Where I Enter: The Impact of Black Women on Race and Sex in America by Paula Giddings” This is the story about black American women in this country. This book is not about foreign born black women. I learn at a early age not to allow strangers to cross boundary with me.

  18. @L.Higginp

    Thanks for the info

    @ my readers
    As you know my next post was going to be something else but I’m temporarily putting that on hold to write my next post on this topic.

    Expect it soon

    • Lupita Nyongo came through the wide international door,and like many foreign born black/colored women living in this country and worldwide, she does not need the alliance and support of minority women in the United States.
      Prepare to see in this very century, the rise to prominence into the national/international arena of numerous beautiful,refined.poised, cultured, charming and intelligent black women .

      • So basically you are “like ‘F’ a community of people who would like reciprocity before offering support. If they can’t give freely without expecting anything in return then we don’t need them.”

        With *sarcasm* “Allies” like these who needs enemies.

        And in America, the worlds leader in media, yes India produces more but US movies are more seen worldwide, she WILL need AAs. But your feelings and comments are duly noted. Lupita seems like a beautiful person. I’ll just wait and see what she offers the BWAAs, in terms of jobs, opportunities etc.

        Quick story: I was at work and an African girl was working next to me, she was clearly WAY behind and had no ideal in how to catch up. I said ” I don’t know why but I’m going to help her.” I gave her a couple of pointers and let her take like three juicy assignments that would help bring her up to speed. I then set back and said “I wonder if she’ll return the favor?” Not only did she not, but she went out of her way to snatch up other juicy assignments that landed in MY work area (doing that is a major no-no) and asked for MORE things, which of course I politely declined. In my head I said, “I’ll never help her again.”

        So I moved on found more assignments and was doing my thing, after break she shows up there like, “There are some good assingments here?” ALL SMILES. I had already taken the best ones
        and her work isn’t good enough to make the best of what was left anyway and I didn’t want her picking up anymore pointers, so I said, “Yeah.” And moved on the a better area.

        After all we are competing for resources, (we have the same position and will be going for the same pormotions) and clearly she is only looking out for self. But it was obvious that NO ONE ELSE had
        stopped to offer her anything tips. Which is why she was underperforming.

        I have the tendency to always seek out information and others were
        so kind to help me, so I figured I’d pay it forward and I ALWAYS
        reciprocated with the other people who helped me. So I knew more
        of what was expected. But clearly this girl was out to take, take,
        take and not once give. So she’s on her own. I don’t support vultures
        and leeches of ANY kind, be it family or the random person. This
        was an example in my own life, AA ladies be on the lookout for
        examples in yours and act accordingly.

      • This international door would not have been present without the sacrifices of thousands upon thousands of people who came before. The reality is that the US was never established with being a land of opportunity for ALL people (including exclusions of certain white ethnics). There was never a commitment or obligation to create a country that would make it possible for Lupitas and other POC to gain access to the land and other opportunities. So, it is important to acknowledge and respect the antecedent conditions and history that made such future accomplishments possible.

        So, yes, Lupita and other international women (AND MEN) of color needed the minorities (particularly AAs) in this country to propel themselves and their descendants forward. This country and its institutions were not only designed without them in mind, but the founders INTENDED for them to be EXCLUDED.

        DON’T EVER FORGET what was necessary for you to get what you have.

      • Prepare to see in this very century, the rise to prominence into the national/international arena of numerous beautiful,refined.poised, cultured, charming and intelligent black women.

        Many of these women will rise to prominence on the international scene and shape the course of history, but on their own terms.

        Whether Oprah is liked by minority women or not in this country,it is obvious that Oprah did not need the support and endorsement of American black women.

        The Somali intellectual and feminist Ayaan Hirsi Ali is another great example. Ms. Ali does not even identify herself with black women for the most part, and despite being obviously black, Ms. Ali’s audience is white America , the entire global community and not black America.
        Lupita Nyongo is in this category too.I like how she is described by many as not fake.

        Another woman I will mention is Princess Angela of Liechtenstein. Prince Maximilian, her husband,when asked by an interviewer of a German social magazine where he met his “exotic Panamanian wife”, Prince Max said that Angela’s European friends were the ones who introduced them..
        They are thousands of other black women who do not need the support of black American women.

        And I do agree with you regarding following the principles of reciprocity because it is a universal trait that most human beings follow.
        But one thing I must say to Black American women, a large number of colored/black women living right in this country and around the globe have nothing in common with you, they are not angry with the world, and a good many are capable of rising on their own, without your support. And they owe you nothing.

        One advise I have for you(African American women):Get out of your shell,practice reciprocity, but also seek out new friends (men and women)who are not black Americans; and simply live your lives without thinking everyone around the corner who is different from you is an enemy.

        One more thing, in the national/international arena, we are all competing for resources.

        And justice is a concept we humans merely use in our attempt o to emulate God, and to feel good about ourselves; frankly humans are incapable of true justice.
        And this is why often the last shall be the first, without any regard to who, what, and where, and no one can stop this.
        Throughout history we have always seen where many have reaped the rewards of what others have sowed.This is life.
        There is no need to say anything to colored immigrants and their children , when you have not said the same thing to “white” Americans whose ancestors entered through Ellis Island and were not even considered to be whites back then , and were pushed ahead in front of you, who were here before them.

        I think anyone with half a brain can recognize that women like Michelle Obama, Lupita Nyongo, Ayaan Hirsi Ali and many other black/colored women, regardless of where they come from, represent a plus for the image of black/colored women here and worldwide.

        These women confront heads on the the loud, abrasive,foolish,unfeminine, rough, and ignorant image of black American women that is being bombarded worldwide by the powerful American media. Whether women like Lupita Nyongo have other black women’s approval, support or not is beside the point, because what is really important here is that women like Ms. Nyongo elevate the image of black/colored women.

        Amelia C. Kinell

        • Lol, GTFO with that. I wonder why you’re on my blog telling other black women to practice ideas pushed by American BLACK WOMEN and telling them that their services aren’t required. I repeat GTFO.
          Ladies this is what i will be talking about in my next post. Smh

        • Onelesssoldier,

          You invented these things?And I wonder why countless non African American, colored/black women have been doing this for many years. Lupita Nyongo, Ms.Hirsi Ali , Baroness de Massey, Princess Angela of Liechtenstein and countless many other black/colored women have nothing in common with you. These women did not find themselves after reading your blogs.They were socialized to enter the national/international world because they could, and they carry no anger against anyone. Also they never isolated themselves from other groups.

          One may think that it is upon observing foreign born black/colored women living in this country that has forced many of you to emulate them and step out of your isolation. And despite this, many of you are still some of the most isolated women in this country.

          Don’t tell me some of these women mentioned, including myself, in retrospect, after escalating the social and intellectual strata, and even after being married for many years, read your blog and viola, enlightenment. And furthermore , how many of you have friends that are not black Americans ,and I am referring to male friends ( white,Hispanic,foreign born blacks,Asians,Arabs) and especially female friends(white,Hispanic, foreign born blacks,Asians,Arabs).None of these blogs talk about having non black female friends, only male friends who are white.
          You even appear jealous of white women, envious of Asian women and hateful of foreign born black women.And downright hateful toward men who are not white
          And you also have forgotten that there are black women in this country who are considered African Americans and are not really part of your group.
          Susan Rice is Jamaican. Chirlane MC Cray, the wife of the mayor of NY city Bill Di blasio is not African American. Ms. MCCray is Barbadian.
          There are countless of black women who many believe to be African Americans and who aren’t , and these women don’t share your cultural views
          These women are career minded,often married, and don’t have to read blogs to get suggestions about how to live. well.They already know how to live and understand the aspects of what represents the elements of power, therefore talking about “practicing ideas pushed by American Black women”,when the proof of us marrying, living well and having it all , right here in this country, is downright ridiculous.

          I’m leaving this comment up so my readers can see what fools like you have to say.

        • I suppose, with your philosophy, that you feel you and other international non-US citizens owe nothing to white Americans for the contributions of people like George Washington and Paul Revere. I am sure that you are certainly willing to let white Americans know that you do not owe them anything DESPITE the contributions THEIR ancestors made (NOT YOURS) to the establishment and development of this country. Since, it seems that history is IRRELEVANT to you, you should be MORE THAN WILLING to inform white Americans of their insignificance in making it possible for you, your parents, and your children to have opportunities for a better future. I’m sure you spend time online and in person making them WELL AWARE that you owe them NOTHING.

          Informing people that the contributions of their ancestors are irrelevant (when you, yourself, ARE BENEFITING from those contributions) is the epitome of being “beautiful,refined.poised, cultured, charming and intelligent”.

  19. This is a very insightful blog. I continue to read as time permits.
    There is a quote by Toni Morrison parapshing in which she states that she (meaning the black woman) has nothing….no maleness….no lady hood yet in this destitute space she had to creat herself. Similar in a sense to bell hooks use of black women being on the margins.

    Is it useful for black wonen to be reactionary all or most of the time? Wouldn’t this demand that black women constantly speak, act, etc. in response to non-blacks and males? Since black women occupy a unique vantage point even at the margins would it not be more enpowering to focus on the creation of their own knowledge and ways of being?

    • I, for one, know that I am tired of having people attempting to direct the focus of my energies, identification, etc. I also sometimes feel that the only way for a BW to be free is to accept that she really doesn’t have “a place” and to just focus her energies and efforts on becoming whom SHE wants to be. Otherwise, it feels impossible to extract oneself from the interests and agendas of others (which were never designed with the optimization of BW’s lives and social value in mind).

    • Hmmm, I would rather hear OLS’s response, but I think that this is a great question that doesn’t have a easy answer and would require a great deal of thought. But I think BW should chose theiroutward battles carefully.

      I.E. if were being demeaned publicly, through film or t.v. then we collectively publicly speak out. If we are being demeaned through you tube, then we collectively, but privately seek to shut it down. If we are being demeaned through the blogsphere, then we comment when advantageous to do so. But I think it is useless to have back and forth arguments with bm who seek to put us down. It looks unlady like and doesn’t really change anything. I think it is better to create positive things about bw then argue back and forth with ignorant men.

  20. To the reading audience, here is undeniable proof that “we are not all in this together”!

    I also find it fascinating that foreign negroes are coming here talking “greasy” when obviously if they all were doing so well, why are the coming here to make their fortunes, why not stay in their home countries…? (rhetorical question).

    The answer is that they apparently are not able to make their home countries places of opportunities. As matter of fact many of their home countries are still doing female mutilation, experiencing dictatorships like revolving doors and despite being mineral rich have mismanaged the resources so that the majority of their populations live in abject poverty; yet they come to AA BW blogs and talk greasy….utterly amazing.

    P.S. – Thanks to the commenter for pointing all of the foreign black women that were previously under the radar, now we know who not to automatically support unless they show reciprocity. However, based on recent comments, it is most likely that they share the same contempt for AA BW; although without them, the doors for immigration would never have been opened to them.

    • My father is white American,and my mother is black Costa Rican.I was born here and I am 100% American citizen and also carry Swiss citizenship. I was educated in the United States, Spain and England . My husband is Swiss German, and regarding our children, we are raising them as “international” as possible, right here in this country, because my hubby works here for an international firm.
      Frankly, I hold no allegiance to any country or group of people , but to the international community, or what I have coined, the universal man and woman.And for this reason I identify with every human being on earth, and don’t “share the same contempt for AA BW”, since AA BW are part of humanity.
      The problem with many of you is you see enemies in every corner and are too insecure to even recognize that those who are not like, don’t hate you, nor feel they are better than you . You always respond by thinking, this person thinks they are better and is a threat. I wonder how you plan to move away , if you show signs of not having the ability to deal with people different from you .

      You were also incapable of reading this with an open eye:
      “Prepare to see in this very century, the rise to prominence into the national/international arena of numerous beautiful,refined.poised, cultured, charming and intelligent black women”.

      You know why you did not accept this, a statement I often use when talking to black women worldwide, because you are too insecure, and by leading such isolated lives , you are incapable of seeing yourself as part of the numerous beautiful, refined,poised,cultured, charming and intelligent black women.
      How could you say I hold you in contempt when I shower praises on you?You were just not able to see it

      The doors for immigration opened to many colored people because the world changed and the US government recognized they needed to change their image abroad since they wanted to have diplomatic and business relations with nations that were not majority white.

      Amelia Kinell

      • Thank you for proving my point. You do not share the African American black woman’s history or

        To the reading audience, it is way past time for us, AA BW, to set boundaries and put others on notice. We are not and never have been obligated to accommodate uninvited guests who feel the need to lecture us on how to behave, feel or what resources we should share (if at all). Foreign others that do not show reciprocity have no right to demand or expect anything of us.

        They are competition looking out for their own interests and we need to acknowledge this basic fact and act accordingly to protect our interests.

        • Hey, as an an internationalist, my entry into this conversation was to show many of you that we(foreign colored/black people and their children born in this country) don’t demand and expect anything from you .You need to get that out of your head, especially whenever you see foreign born colored/black people and their children doing well or achieving in areas that are still closed off to you.The fact that you only see these colored/black people as a threat, tells a lot about you. I think it is much easier for a good many of us to assimilate and move freely throughout this society because we carry no anger toward anyone and have no sense of historical entitlement.I wish you the best! Good bye.

          Amelia Cusatti Kinell

        • @Karen,

          I 100% co-sign. Especially your point about AABW needing to set boundaries. With everybody. Because at the end of the day, AAs’ past and present failure to set boundaries with Black immigrants, so-called “biracials,” and others is what has created fools like the commenter you responded to.

          It’s the same abusive behavior pattern that AABW have enabled with other categories of individuals: BM/Latinos/foreign Blacks/so-called “biracials” happily take the support that gullible AABW freely offer them (without any strings like reciprocity being attached). And then when these people get where they think they’re going (by using AA-created resources as stepping stones), they kick AABW in the teeth.

          The abusive behavior toward AABW will stop when we set boundaries and stop giving knee-jerk support to BM/Latinos/foreign Blacks/so-called “biracials.”

          @the AA Reading Audience,

          To hear some of the more arrogant foreign-origin Blacks tell it, they don’t need AAs’ resources for anything. {rhetorical question} Well then . . . if that was true, why do they monitor and haunt AA blogs? Answer: The same reason why BM haunt AABW’s blogs—because AABW’s enormous resources are the only huge and EFFECTIVE pool of resources these people can draw from. Follow the money and resource trail. I won’t linger on this point, but in the case of foreign-origin Blacks, it’s obvious that their homelands are not places bursting with opportunities. That’s why so many flee and come to the U.S.

          Here’s a quick sampling of what commenter Amelia Kinell’s Black Costa Rican mother ran away from:
          “La Nacion Tackles Racism in Costa Rica and the Oprah Winfrey Scandal”

          Here’s a post from an African woman who studied in Costa Rica:
          “Costa Rica democracy, why it doesn’t mean much for black people here”

          {chuckling} Our AA ancestors and civil rights martyrs whipped …no, let me say it the southern AA way . . . WHUPPED the demon of American racism. Whupped it so hard that we made it possible and safe for foreign Black folks like Amelia Kinell’s Black Costa Rican mother to run all the way over here to the U.S. And away from the apparently unaddressed and definitely unresolved racism in her Costa Rican homeland. Our ancestors won victories that–thus far—have not been replicated by the Blacks of Latin America or the Arab world.

          Foreign-origin Blacks have not been able to make their homelands the sort of opportunity-rich places that other people from around the world risk their lives to enter (like the U.S.). Their talents and resources have not been EFFECTIVE in changing the conditions of their countries of origin. Not effective like the way our AA ancestors’ civil rights movement was effective in changing the conditions in this country.

          AABW have tremendous resources. Of all kinds. That’s why so many others carefully monitor (and jump into) our conversations about the allocation of OUR resources. There’s no reason to be angry. If you’re feeding somebody and you don’t like what that person is doing, STOP feeding them. It’s very simple. AABW: Spend your resources on SELF.

  21. Note: Fools, idiots, morons, and those who are too stupid to live, will be deleted. This is a blog for African American women. If you can’t get behind that. I’ll will (not so) politely show you the door. Make your own blog if you’ve got a glitch. Don’t litter my doorstep.


  22. I remember the former Mayor Mia Love of Utah was saying how her parents came from either Haiti and how her parents pulled themselves by their own boot strap and DIDN’T NEED ANY HELP FROM THE GOVERNMENT!. When I hear black people talk that way that is a tell tell sign that they are foreign born and not U.S. born. Well white America showed her the door with a quickness. Black women have so many resources that a foreign men have come over here to marry black women to gain citizenship. They usually don’t seek out women of other races, they tend to seek out black women because all they know they can just throw a few dollars in the face of unsuspecting black women especially if she’s a single parent. Tyler Perry movies have not been doing too well. Black women have spending power of 1 trillion dollars. I could be wrong with the numbers but every black person and foreign black have benefited from black women. I have friend who married a man from Ghana. He brought his 5 children over after he was established. They are divorcing because he told her things were not working out. Of course he made sure his ducks were in order. They already get the memo on what script to use on black women. Well we are 10 steps ahead of them and because black women are expanding our options, we are no longer going to be tricked and hoodwinked. Not to get off topic but when black women stop being used for ATMS
    Then all those kingdoms that thrived off us will start drying up because they will know who really sustains them.

    • I know of a divorced AA woman who married an African man. They had a baby, And, of course, at some point, a divorce was necessary. Her other children are already young adults, now she has a baby to raise for 18 years. Fortunately, I think he is still involved with the child.

      I know of another AA woman who worked hard and had a new home of her own built. FOR YEARS, she worked and took care of that home, as a single woman. She married an African man. Well, thanks to HIS stupidity, she ended up losing her home.

      I know of other AA women who married African men only to have the marriages end in divorce. Marrying an African man is not the cure many AA women seem to THINK it is.

  23. Wow this all boils down to boundaries. We need to get some with a quickness. Vetting a man before you marry a man regardless of color.

    This goes for others too our support is way too valuable and we need take care of us first as we black women are in a situation where no one else is looking out for us. No don’t even thing African women from other places are.

    I don’t hate them and frankly have learned plenty from observing them even here how well they fight for their interest and know how to keep pulse of resources they tap into and where they might move to next all while taking care of them first and foremost. Something to be aware of.

    I think it is time for black women to focus on self first and foremost our education, wealth, well being and so on and let everyone else who hasn’t proven themselves of great service and advantage go. Yes, the freebie shop of blind support and giving of black women dollars is closing.

    When black women wake up in mass they’ll say, “It’s closing time! Finish up your goodies cause it’s ending sooner rather than later. Oh, you don’t have to go home, you just can stay here.”

    LOL and all this talk about us being angry, bitter, and blah, blah. Is just that talk and crusty tired talk at that sounds like something people say when they want you to continue allowing them to use you as their doormat.

  24. Divesting from the “Women of Color” in my life
    Mindy K. does not surprise me. And I am glad I only watched 2 episodes of her tv shows & decided it was not for me based on the lack of depth in the scenario. There was simply no story line there.

    Here is how I handled my issue with a WOC colleague who only called on me when it suited her. Let’s call her NM (narrow minded).
    NM was a quadroon (1/4 Asian ancestry non visible ) who appeared to be all white/Dutch. NM had no issue sharing racist jokes with her fellow Dutch colleagues (not knowing I understand Dutch) but would call on me everytime she had to complain about something odd one Black person did.
    Most of the times, I just replied non committal “oh” and went on with my job. Or start speaking in French with another colleague (beacsuse I could not care less about NM’s life). Also I never reacted about the racist Dutch jokes- I kept the info for myself (ie knowledge that NM was no ally).

    We often had lunch dinner &, feeling at ease, NM start unveiling her past to me (she had been abused by her previous partner- a man of colour) & her current one had issues with his ex girlfriend. NM had issues. I listened but could not care less. I also gave some fake marks of sympathy – two can play this game- never giving her anything subxtantial about my own life.

    Once NM asked me if there were any snakes in my country – she was having another “interesting” conversation with her Dutch colleagues & felt I needed to intervene. I could not care less about their conversation, I have no interest in snakes whatsoever. So I asked NW :
    -me : where is your grandmother from?
    – nm blank stare (wondering what this got to do with everything)
    – me :Philippines ? Hong Kong ? Taiwan ? (insisting on othering her & on revealing her Asian ancestry )
    – nm :silence (who wanted to use me to make fun of minorities though she conveniently enters the minority mould when it suits her)
    -me : ah yes, that’s it, Surinam (had know the info from the beginning, but it was important to reinforce te belief that all non white people look the same. I gave her the importance she was giving me)
    -nm: faint nod of the head
    – me : ask your grandmother if there are snakes in Surinam, I am sure she will be able to help you with your query (helpful smile- because I like my smug persona & everyone loves a smiling woman)
    -me : going back to my work & my life

    As Khadija said, being loyal to self is important. Learn to decode WOC because you join their sisterhood club

  25. I cannot stand Mindy Kaling. You would be surprised how many young black girls brainlessly follow her. Before her show started she was getting tons of coverage on black media outlets. And she still does, I see all of these black girls writing about her, sharing her stuff on tumblr like it’s gospel, completely ignoring all the slick comments she’s made and the stereotypes she’s had on her show. I heard a young black girl claim that the stereotypical black character “doesn’t represent” her and that she identifies more with Mindy lol.

    I grew up in the burbs and went to mostly white schools, I knew tons of Mindy’s. Hates blacks, but don’t get full acceptance by Whites, but comes running to us when they need something. And for the record, dark-skinned non-blacks are the worst, because they are terrified of being confused with black people so they tend to be the most overtly racist. Non-black POC women frequently cross boundaries with black people they would never allow black to cross with them.

    Lupita Nyong’o’s fame is a result of the myth that there are no dark-skinned AA’s in the US. I’ve heard non AA’s claim this. As if every black woman in the US is some sort of shade of Halle Berry. Some AA’s also perpetuate this myth with this “everyone is mixed” and “some of us have blonde hair and blue eyes and we are still black” nonsense. Dark-skinned AA woman is erased, enter Lupita.

    Finally, there is not enough calling out of foreign-born blacks who portray black stereotypes for the amusement of whites. This discussion only comes up when a foreign-born black person gets into Harvard or wins an Oscar. What about when a woman born in Trinidad (Nicki Minaj) has a whole stadium of white girls repeating the line “Nappy Headed Hoes”?

  26. I noticed your link to isn’t working anymore! The blog is literally gone!
    I panicked when I saw this because I loved that blog and it has SO much valuable information! I searched and searched for google cache with no luck….until FINALLY i found it on web archive dot com! (here:
    But I copied the content and made a wordpress blog so it is fully recovered! (however if you want to read the amazing discussions and comments I suggest you go to web archives because I couldn’t copy all the comments obviously)

    Anyway, here it is!

    As always LOVE your blog and I don’t think some bloggers understand how much their content is worth! Save, save, save everything! All that work only to see it gone is sad! Your work means a lot and in the future some black girl will find it and learn so much! It truly is a legacy you are leaving behind.

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