Get Your Tomatoes Ready, It’s Time To Play Another Game of To the Stocks & Off With Their Heads

Note: I have read the comments concerning editing my posts better. As I said in my previous post I am trying my best but I am extremely short on time especially While I’ll try to be more careful in my proofreading, if someone is interested in proofreading the posts and editing them let me know in the comments.

If you haven’t played TTSOWTH before basically the game is I name people who have actively participated in the destroying the worth, money, interests et al of black women and we not only publicly shame them but we actively decide not support these groups/ entities anymore. This game also serves to highlight all who may have escaped black women’s notice who black women might still be supporting.

I don’t believe in writing posts in anger of transgression I believe in bringing things to attention once an for all before putting my energy elsewhere. Simply put these people are examples of what to AVOID.


First up


Rosanne, “Nuts” Barr

Ms. Barr has not only decided to run for president again but she mistakenly thought she would get there by actively supporting a man on Youtube who supports hate propaganda of black women. (I will not name him, we ALL know who he is) Not only did she support this man and endorse him and his behavior, she also believed that belittling black women who found a problem with this acceptable.


Oprah “One for everybody” Winfrey

Despite being black and a woman and having millions of dollars this woman continually sings the perpetual praises of DBR’s of the Tyler Perry variety. And we all know that Tyler Perry is no friend.



ice t

“Ice (Pimp) T”

Despite admitting that he pimped young women out when he was younger, he refuses to slink away to a corner and live out the rest of his days, instead this cancer continues to fester and “show his tail”.


Perez Hilton

After taking to twitter to say that “inside every gay man is a fierce black woman” he continued to insult angered and offended black women, by likening and comparing them to “Hitler” (Yes he really did). To this odious man I can only say,


Vanessa Williams

After years of being an actress and benefiting from the colorism that still poisons the water, when asked about this issue, she said its “It’s hard to get roles no matter how fair your skin is” downplaying the specific benefits she receives and the racism, other black women face on a daily basis.


Marc Lamont Hill

If you still follow the “news” you will have heard that Mr. Hill took to the world to talk about how Lupita Nyongo is simply a “fetish” for white people, concern trolling black women, while all the while not even being married to a black woman he’s so concerned about.
To Mr. Hill


Mindy Kaling

Despite being a “woman of color” herself, Mindy Kaling writer of the show “The Mindy Project” actively supports cartoonish, buffoonish, black women tropes and stereotyped characters on her show. She’s no ally of mine.




Not only does this man support many misogynists (ahem Robin “Rape Anthem” Thicke) in his business when asked about his colorism on his recent album he trivialized black women’s concerns by accusing black women of simply being “insecure”. Continuing classic bw shaming techniques

If you know of any other people who have clearly deserve to be in the stocks, leave a comment below, letting me know why.
And to the ones currently in the stocks…

Edit: Here is my post  previous editions of  To the Stocks, Off With Their heads!



Until next time….

Note: This Post is one in a series the next post will most likely be
The Girl Who Believed Anything P1 (Subject to Change)

The Chronicles of Derailment: The Saboteur, The Sad Sack, and the Sycophant. (A pondering of the psychoanalytic Variety)

Let’s Talk About Derailment, Eh?

I haven’t written in a while but I believe that this post is important in light of current events.

Note: Somebody left a comment asking me to do a better job proofreading. Apparently my previous editing jobs have caused them to have to “reread” my posts to piece together my sentences.   I already proofread but usually I’m in a rush which means I don’t have the time to do more than a cursory glance.   I’ve said before to excuse the typos, and I can’t offer much more than that disclaimer so… *shrugs* sorry.

Today I wanted to write about the derailment and the trends I’ve noticed when black women are having important conversations. Usually these conversations, which have to do with the quality of black women’s lives are quickly and sufficiently  stifled before any meaningful solutions can be had.  As a tactic derailment does its job, pushing black women to the back of the podium so others may remain benefiting from the current status quo.

The Sad Sack:

No matter what race, gender or sexual orientation, the Sad Sack absolutely loves to talk about their emotions. You see rather than getting angry, or simply exiting a conversation they don’t like,  the Sad Sack like all good derailers wants you to know that their feelings are hurt by your hurt feelings.  They want you to know how much they grieve for their lost sisterhood/ brotherhood, how much they grieve for their lost unity, how hurtful it is that you’re not mirroring the emotions that they want to give you. The Sad Sack, like ALL derailers, are simply narcissists who want the conversation to revert back to THEM.  NO matter how much it hurts you.  For example, see Perez Hilton’s wack ass response to his offensive comments about “ a fierce black women inside every gay man” comment.  He’s hurt he’s suffering. Forget how offensive, racist, rude and downright shameful he is. It’s easy to get the attention off his own jack assery if he’s talking about his feelings and what you’ve done to him.

How to deal: Ignore, the sad sack is a drama queen narcissist. They feed off attention, and ensuring you don’t do what you need to do.  Back slowly away.

The Saboteur: Is another fun one. The saboteur,  claims to be on your side,  all the while they silently pick at the solutions that couldn’t possibly work, and simply  aren’t feasible to the majority of the population. In the guise of giving a damn, they’re mostly just sitting by while you dismantle all of your  progress by yourself. Does the saboteur have any other bright ideas?  Nope, because the point of a Saboteur isn’t to be on your side, the point of the saboteur is to well… sabotage.  So if that means spending hours upon hours in spaces not designed for them pretending to be a good Samaritan, well then that’s what they’ll do, as long as, at the end of the  day, you #FAIL.

The Sycophant: Is your personal friend. This particular brand of derailer knows that you get more bees with honey. They know that you’re probably not that bright. They know that you’re insecure, and they know that you’re looking for any sort of recognition.( Because it has been such a lacking force in your life).  The Sycophant knows that easiest way to make you stop complaining is to make you think that there’s nothing to complain about at all. For example when black women are angered about having characters who are physically as far away from the status quo of attractive ie.  Fit, pretty, and feminine represent them (like all groups do), These sycophants will compliment you because you don’t fit the status quo. (Even though it’s not to your benefit to do otherwise.)


See the downright bizarre flipping and fawning over,  Retta from Parks and Rec and Gabore Sidebe , both of which typify almost every  stereotype of black women currently in America.

But to hear *certain* groups of sycophants tell it,  “She so awesome,”  “So Funny” and courageous to break molds and traditions.

And like the master manipulator that these groups are, you’ll believe it every time. Because this brand of narcissists know exactly how you tick.  They’re banking on it.   And you swallow it like a pill.  You were always going to.

How to deal:  Recognize that the Sycophant along with the Saboteur will ALWAYS play Brutus to your Caesar.  They will be waiting after you get comfortable to pounce.   Always, Always be wary of people like this. Or better yet avoid letting these types into your life at all. Be selective of people who come near this behavior.

The Reasonable:  Derailers of the reasonable sort are the kind that fancy themselves fair and just. If only you could give them a good reason. They need to know, despite the evidence why they should support you. They want you to lay it out again and again, why they should give a damn. Because they can’t be seen supporting something that doesn’t benefit them if they don’t have logic behind their choices.  But the truth is everything that you say is unreasonable. No matter how much proof you present, how much you balance the books, you’re never going to get through, Because in their lost minds only their way makes any sense.  

They KNOW this. But you don’t. Which means all the time an explanations playing “logic accountant” is time away from being productive on your own. And they can’t have that.

For example, if you say, Black Women should leave dangerous neighborhoods; they’ll ask you for a list of reasons why.   They need a rundown of how many rapes happen to black women and children, how many lives are lost in stay gunshots, how much and how many of everything to catalog until they find your answer reasonable.

Here a hint: No matter how much qualitative and quantitative data is shared with the “Reasonable” it will never amount to anything. But it did keep you from having important conversations.

How to deal: Avoid playing “logic accountant” a losing game where you try and scoop water from the sea with a bucket. Or in other words, provide proof to clueless people.  Don’t waste time. They have all the proof they need but they don’t want you to have it.  That would be mean you might do better than them.

Holy Sanctimony:

Like the sad sack who is just so EMOTIONAL, and loves to emotionally emote all over the emotionally charged place; Sanctimony loves “righteous anger” as a way to get out of a sticky situation. They also know that it helps avoid a confrontation and keep you from having your conversations/ going about your business. They use their “righteous “anger purely as a distraction like a filibuster in congress, simply waiting for time to run out before a new bill proposal becomes obsolete.  More so they shut down the conversation by diverting attention to themselves while you defend yourself. It always works. Leaving them smugly satisfied and you with… well… nothing.

The misunderstood:  The misunderstood love to be… misunderstood.  Simply because in feigning stupidity it takes you away from what you’re actually doing to waste time and you momentarily forget what you were doing, and places importance on “helping” the misunderstood understand what you’re trying to say.   The misunderstood, whether they are aware of what they are doing or not are effectively keeping you from using your time in well spent ways.

How to deal:  Keep it moving. Don’t waste time in conversations, justifications, etc.  They feed on your attention, and your good will. Stomp them into dust and keep moving.  Remember it’s simply an act.

Give me one good reason AKA “Stubborn Ass”:  They stubborn ass need like the reasonable needs “one good reason” to move.  The one good reason has easily tricked their victims into believe that progress is not attainable without them. And you’d better get into shape and prove to them why they should come along.  Really they don’t want to come but they don’t want you to leave. You might be successful. And the Stubborn Ass doesn’t want that. They don’t want change, they are afraid of change.  And if they can’t be happy neither can you, so if it means stopping in one place and not moving while elevating their own importance, well… so be it.

How to deal: Adopt the stance “You’re either with me or against me” and otherwise ignore. You don’t need dead weight.

More Bark Than Bite:  MBTB loves to use threats, fear tactics, shame, anything to get you to shut up and stop talking. Because they’re threatened by you doing well they must put a stop to it. And these losers, with little resources, brains and hope love to use guerrilla warfare to get you to keep your mouth shut. See commenters who come to websites with guilt tactics/ shaming (See black women shaming 101 post), threatening biblical punishment, rape murder, etc.  Funnily enough most of these probably wouldn’t have the balls to do/ say any of this in real life.

How to deal:  Instantly Ignore, delete, distance.  They are amoebas. But if all else fails the FBI would love to add someone knew to their wanted lists. Get law enforcement involved.


You may think I’m only identifying derailing techniques in conversations. I’m talking about lifestyle derailment too; these people suck the life out of you and pull you in like quicksand. It would be wise to watch out for any and all of these types. These people are sick, twisted, and need to be involved in tearing other people down. This is one of the reasons why many bwe writers have discussed planning in stealth, because some people when given the chance will happily rip apart your plans at the seams.

Don’t let them destroy what you’ve built.

Until Next Time,

Stay Neutral

PS. I know I’ve been away a long time, I’m currently writing a slew of posts that will be up soon. Forgive me for the absence.

Love ya all.