Render Unto Caesar

Hello everyone.  I wanted to wish everyone a happy new year as I write this final post of the year.  This is a topic that I’ve been thinking about for an extremely long time, and was an issue that I’ve struggled to deal with personally.

A while back I was taking a sociology class, and the topic that came up was “minorities”. I say this in quotations because the topic was talking about African Americans and women. Of course this wouldn’t have been a problem, but as usual what that really meant was all the women are white   and all the blacks are men.

During this time the class, led by a white woman focused mostly on the problems that white women and black men experienced. And of course it didn’t focus much on black women at all.   At the time I remember thinking that it made me extremely angry. I remember thinking that this woman was a complete hypocrite. And while this may have been true,Something that I realized later was that there was really no reason to be angry.  This may sound odd but it occurred to me that it just wasn’t worth it.  What I mean by that is, this woman was in charge of one class, that is only a stepping stone to a career I want to have. She was not in charge of my psychology program, she was not the sociology program coordinator, hell she wasn’t even asking me to believe or practice the crap I had to write in papers, to get an A in the class.

Basically she was just a temporary blip in my entire life. I have forgotten about that course in that mandatory class, because in the end it just didn’t matter.

Now, am I saying that all black women should ignore the every dbr white feminist or dbr bm that they encounter, no really especially if they ARE in some way trying to stop you from succeeding. What I’m talking about is about black women not deliberately getting worked up over something that doesn’t matter, and is really just blip in your entire life.

Take the for example the latest feminist debacle about Beyonce (YET AGAIN). There were so many black women who were becoming angry that white feminists didn’t think what they wanted, and were yet again dismissing the about Beyoncé. (I guess that was the issue, I don’t really care because I don’t like or approve of Beyoncé but I’m not angry about it.) These women are getting worked up, flocking to social media and ITunes to buy cds and really. What white feminists do an think doesn’t really matter.

White feminists didn’t and don’t stop black women from actually buying albums. White feminists don’t  somehow hinder  Beyoncé’s sales. White feminists don’t have the power to do much of…. Anything.  The white feminists that talk tripe on places like Jezebel and Feministing are simply doing just that.

They have no power and once they log off whatever “feminist” site their on, they will most likely forget it all. Instead of black women knowing this. They got worked up over a woman (who doesn’t give a damn about them and is actually detrimental, and chopped off their nose to spite their face) buying albums and promoting a woman who has literally told them to BOW DOWN.

Basically these women screwed the pooch. Even if we were to pretend that Beyoncé was somehow good for black women, the question is still … WHO CARES?  Again, those feminists have no *actual* power and did not have any *actual* say in black women and their ability to buy crap.

What is my point? It would be wise for black women to Render Unto Caesar, in certain cases.  When there is nothing to lose and people aren’t actually affecting you, there is no need to involve yourself in foolery, getting yourself angry and upset over nothing.

So if white feminists want to say that they’re the damned POPE. Who cares?

They aren’t actually driving around in a pope mobile.

If white feminist want to go around saying they’re the queen of SHEBA. Who the hell cares?

They aren’t actually (don’t ‘have the power) to start giving decrees and saying “off with their heads.”

If black men want to make hundreds upon hundreds of videos talking about “redbones” and “dark bitches” Who cares.

Let them think they crazy ass things they want. It doesn’t affect your ability not to support these people. It doesn’t affect your ability not to buy things, products, that shame and alarm your sensibilities.

You are still free to make wise decisions and build wise bridges on your own.  Render the rest to Caesar.

It would be wise to remember this going into the New Year for you own sanity and sake of mind.

But of course as always, you are free to make your own decisions.

Finally, I wanted to say something a bit off topic, and thank everyone who has supported NYGF for the past two years.  I never thought when I started that I’d ever have as many awesome readers as I have today, and when I started I (after reading other amazing BWE writers, I wasn’t even sure what I was trying to achieve, I just had something to say I wanted others to hear, and hoped they agreed.    Thanks A million. This has been a great journey for the past two years and I’m looking forward to moving into 2014 with you all.

Until Next Year,

Stay Neutral.


Girl, Bye! Episode III& IV: Let’s Talk About Warning Signs

Hello everyone, I hope you all had a very special and very neutral holiday. I wanted to say a couple of things before I started.

  1. Thanks to everyone that has been patient about the technical difficulties. Again I didn’t shut my blog down, my blog accidently was turned private.
  2.  This post and one more will be the final ones of the year
  3. This post will likely be the last time I discuss black women in mass media. (i’ve combined the last two into one post)   Simply because I don’t have the time or the effort to keep up with all the foolishness and I simply don’t care about the cray cray black women who’ve decided I’m plotting against them for stating an opinion. I am only one woman and I speak for myself and those who may agree with me. If you don’t *shrugs*  I don’t care.  If you want to know my opinion, look back at previous posts. BWiF if you haven’t read it before. But I feel  I’ve dealt with black women in media as best I can and that I’ve beaten the dead horse, and squeezed that rock for water, as best as I can. New Year , New Focus.

Anyway, let’s get to the post.

If you haven’t read the previous post in the Girl, Bye! Series I talked about the necessity of doing for self.  This time I want to talk to women who’ve decided to play their hand in the game of Russian roulette that is Hollywood/media.

I’ve the misfortune or the blessing (depending on your self schema) to have the ability to see potential disasters and misfortunes concerning black women like I’m the star of the Final Destination franchise and call them almost exactly before they happen.

This isn’t to brag, and while I’d love to claim that I was a psychic (my own personal dream) I  simply  have the completely average ability to see the warning signs written in blood all over my bathroom mirror.

So for those that may want to engage in Hollywood and their antics here are my warning signs that can effectively help you before you get loki’d or in the case of Person of Interest Carter’d.  These are one less soldiers tips to help you avoid heartache and allow you to board up your house before the tsunami hits.

(As always ignore typos, I’m tired and its 4 am)

  • Look at the type of show. This will immediately show you the fate of the black female character on the show, or the likelihood of survival/ HEA with any other character or even themselves. In the case of Person of Interest my senses were put on alert because Nolan and his brother( who do the batman franchise) are known for their dark dramas. These sorts of dark dramas almost immediately show that the character will meet a bad fate or if given a love interest they will be drawn away. These sort of produces are looking for “dark” thrills and lots of macabre.   To expect anything less is naïve. On the other hand look at the comedy parks and recreation. Comedy’s for mainly white audiences love neutered unattractive black women to play up for laughs and giggles.
  • Look at the station: Usually the station will give you a hint what they have designed for the character. NBC which has characters like donna on Parks and Rec and Shirley on Community will most likely be played for laughs and used as the butt of stereotypical jokes. CBS will use black women as the staunch black female character in which they are a neutral (de sexualized character)  Be warned if they bring them out of the molds that go against the modus operando of the stations it can mean well.
  • Note the characters importance in relation to the other characters (especially the non black women) for example in the case of *gasp* yes I’ll go their scandal and sleepy hollow there are two very prominent white women on the show who are clearly there to serve as foils to the any budding relationship. Or in the case of Person of Interest if there is a sudden surge in a white female characters importance, be on alert. This means replacement. In the case of shows like community Shirley is only safe because her place is secured in the group as a “non sexual” “mother character” with little to know sexuality.
  • Note the demographic of the audience.  In the case of Person of interest the majority of viewers are older and less interested in the characters who are minorities and especially *gasp* interracial relationships. You are there to bolster ratings and you should be sure that they will always cater to the larger demographic while keeping you on a string.
  • Note writers promotion of black women in relationships. The writers and promoters of shows like Sleepy Hollow and Scandal like to fanwank and tweet ship inducing things on twitter/ tumblr and get the actors involved.  Rest assured this will most likely end nowhere. If they willingly go along with it they are simply using you because its easy to satiate you until they pull the plug. This will end badly.
  • Beware of sudden changes in status. Does your favorite black female character suddenly get that awesome story line when before she was a token, is she suddenly getting a wardrobe change, suddenly being seen as desirable, suddenly liked by audiences, suddenly given a (white) or not love interest, given insight? If you answered “yes” to any of these questions the character is more than likely about to be written off or killed. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!
  • Look at how nice they treat the character in the beginning of the series. If they are heavy on the promotion of the character al la Twisted style they are using the character as a temporary gimmick to temporarily bolster rating until they dump your ass for the better audience and up the importance back to the “balance” it usually is. (Again look at twisted)  Do not trust fair and d not trust balanced. This had never been freely given before by Hollywood, be suspicious at the very least.  They need a base audience to get established. Be discerning of heavy courtship. This usually means trouble. Consider these shows as men who like to sweet talk women to sleep with them and them pump and dump.

Does it seem like I’m telling you to be wary of every Hollywood show? Ding Ding Ding! You WON. That’s exactly what I’m saying.

Moving on I want to quickly touch on some other things,  audience members of certain races or genders may or may not try and make you think you’re crazy for what you’re seeing when those warning signs start a’ringin. Ignore them they are liars/ don’t need to care.

Remember. Say it with me.  The trick is to make you think you’re crazy even when you’re the sanest person in the room.

The don’t care if the knife is twisted in you in the end. Or it is beneficial t gaslight (al la Nolan and plageman) who did the same things when questions of carters fate arose in the end of season 2 in POI.

Remember that these people feel they owe you nothing.

Finally I suggest black women consider the psychological impact these shows may have.  I’ve noted there aren’t many shows that show black women having fun/ being light hearted/ (a la New Girl style) Most of it is what many BWE writers like to call Pain porn. These shows are designed to drag you down and reaffirm tales of misery and woe. Yes even shows like Scandal. (Yes I walked onto holy territory when I said that blaspheme) Ask yourself why most black women characters are a hot mess emotionally wise and in their personal lives.  And who would benefit from this sort of conditioning. (and yes read any psychology book on conditioning  and behavior modification and you’ll look at things different)

I have also noticed a “cycle of abuse” with black women who engage in Hollywood.

Step 1- Awe that a show featuring a black character is on. Happiness (Also know as the honeymoon phase) Black women help in every way to promote new show. Everything seems good.

Step 2- Slow realization they were tricked. Dissatisfaction.

Step 3-  Black character gets screwed by the media.

Step 4- vows to leave never come back.

Step 5-  New show “courts them”.Bblack women return.

I would caution many black women to check to see if they are being dragged into this never ending process or trying to get out. It is hard to admit that help is needed. But for your own sake you may want to examine if this is happening to you.


Remember the things we already lost in the fire. Look back at the track records of these stations before you endorse. Have they ever helped, what is the track record with black women characters?

Until Next Time,

Guard your heart and your mind.

And above all stay NEUTRAL!!!


My last post of this year will be titled Render Unto Caesar: How Not to Behave Like Pavlov’s Dogs At Every Bit of Stimuli.

Best wishes,



Recently my blog was accidentally switched to private. I have been having some technical difficulties but should fix them soon. I Did not quit for anyone who is wondering. If I decide to leave the blog I promise I will let everyone one know. and most likely I will keep the blog up.  I am trying to sort everything out at the moment.


If anyone needs get in contact with me, please send emails to

I will be back soon with a new post!

Until Next Time,

Stay Neutral

Girl, Bye! Episode II: The Necessity of ‘Do for Self ‘

Hello, people if you’re only just getting here you’ll know that this is the second post in my Girl,Bye! Series.

This post, considering my past record is likely to anger or annoy many folks but today I want to talk about the necessity of do for self.

That is, I want to talk about the necessity for black women to create their own media instead of waiting around for others.

For the black women still reeling off the death of Detective Joss Carter on Person of Interest (the only black female character on the entire network and one  of a handful of those on television ). There are some that believe that (as the writers have said) they always planned to kill the character off, and therefore black women shouldn’t get angry because TPH wanted to leave the show anyway.

There are also those who also believe that black women got played yet again, and disbelieve the idea that a middle aged black woman would voluntarily leave a show, and remembered the debacle of the second season mid season finale in which fans were wanked off at the idea that the character could be in love with the main star and then spent the rest of the season out of contact with said character, and then nine episodes later was suddenly  killed.

Whether or not you want to buy the bridge that I’m selling there’s one common problem with this entire bate and switch.. ahem. Situation , the two defining factors that seem to have escaped noticed and been overlooked by black women whether they believe either of the above situations, is the common denominator of Nolan and Plageman et al.

You see Nolan and Plageman are the common denominator because despite whether Henson’s leaving the show by force or plan still leaves the power to terminate the characters and likeness of black female characters in the hands of people who ultimately can do whatever the heck they want.

You see, as long as black women refuse to create their own media they will ALWAYS  be subjected to the crazed and ill thought out “bigger picture” for your character.  In essence the black women who depend on Nolan & Plageman and Shonda and Co, and Mr. Perry, will always be dependent on the goodwill of said “creators” that means when Nolan decides that it’s time to “up the stakes”  well, all the eggs you put in that basket will be cracked and scrambled because there was no back up plan.

Because black women have no said, back up plan, refuse to do for self, or  at the very least  be cautious about the groups and entities they pour their money into, this sends a message.  These groups KNOW the following.

  • They know it only takes another brown face to get black women to pour money in
  • They know black women are easily fooled
  • They know they have the power and can thus pull the plug when they want
  • They know they will get your money
  • They know you will get it yourself without looking elsewhere
  • They know you want into their “club” which makes it that much more exclusive to get it accepted into.

These groups also take a lot of pleasure in twisting the knife once they decide that the expendable character is indeed useless.

Not that Nolan & Plageman & Co twisted the knife by almost giving the character a full story line and then making her a potential love interest only to destroy that hope later.

Similar to mobsters who kill your pet and send the head to you, they did the same thing with the character in this situation with the Character Joss Carter.

And they believed they were completely within their realm to do that.

But let’s move on let’s talk about some more reasons why it’s necessary for black women to “do for self” instead of waiting for others.

Since other blogs have their own score card let’s talk about some of the recent examples of why black women need to create their own media ASAP.

  •  The continued narrative of black women’s thoughts, history, and reflection through that of black men. AL la twelve years a slave and Django Unchained.
  • The continued and perpetual usage of black women’s bodies, minds and beings, as examples ofwhat not to be in the media A LA Lily Allen and her  “ironic” video by doing the exact thing she’s claiming to hate. Aka having black women on display and as props.

  • The continued destruction of black women’s characters on shows like Person of Interest.
  • The continued use ( and defense of ) morons like Kanye West as the speaker of all things “black”  and the defense by mainstream white feminists like the Jezzies.

  • The use of black women’s bodies as paraphernalia, as this designer below does

  • The continued push of (as some women have pointed out) of black women in the media who are “safe” a la, Amber Riley on Dancing With the Stars. (Note I actually like Amber Riley but I do know about the penchant some groups of white women have of fawning over black women actresses as “awesome” who are seen as  nonthreatening to them. ( Or think of the black character on Parks &Rec and the sycophantic responses from white female characters to these same sad trope characters)
  •  The continued bait and switch on characters that black women support. A la “Twisted” style

The use of black female misogynists in the media as spokesmen. I’m looking at YOU General Mills. Who decided to team up with Nelly (AKA Tip Drill Singer)

Unfortunately black women don’t realize that wanting better representation isn’t as simple as asking. Especially  since the groups who wield more privilege benefit from having you on the bottom, or simply don’t care if you ever get your piece of the pie.

Need an example, as peruse the comments from viewers of the new show Sleepy Hollow, I notice the majority of viewers, despite words from show runners believe that Nicole Beharie and her character are expendable. They believe this character doesn’t matter to the show and that Tom Mison’s character is what makes the show (and simply wouldn’t be the show without him while believe her character could gtfo)

These people with these beliefs are have the same mentality as those who watched POI. Who were meh about Joss Carter being killed though she was listed as a star while claiming they would leave if the two white men characters would go.

These people’s only concern during POI was that the other characters  get enough screen time. They don’t give a damn if the character you’ve invested your money and time in ever gets any backstory, or time.  

Unfortunately these morons are who people like Nolan& Plageman and Shonda &Co are servicing. Believe, you are an afterthought  An afterthought only remembered when it’s time to make money and promote the show.

What’s the point of this post. The point is that farther than simply NOT SUPPORTING a show  it would be prudent to support/ create shows that black women have created themselves and actually show some desire in treating black women as a valued customer instead of gum on the bottom of a shoe to wiped off.  Use this latest example as a bought lesson.

Or continue on… but don’t say nobody warned you.

Until Next Time,

Stay Neutral

Next Post in series

Girl, Bye! Episode III:  Let’s Talk About Warning Signs

PS. Ignore the typos I was in a rush.