Houston… We Have A Problem: Happily Adrift In Our Own Demise… And Other Little Sticky Wickets


It seems that black women have issues, not only do black women have issues but it seems that black women have issues and they don’t even know that they have issues.

Which is the best type of person to victimize….amiright?

Apparently some of the black women that commented on my last article


had numerous problems with the things that I said about black women not supporting media that doesn’t give them good representations. *Ironically that wasn’t really what the post was about in its entirety* but I guess that’s what people deferred payments to.

But after reading the comments, and, phew,  there were a lot,

Here’s what I learned in boating school.

1. Some black women don’t believe that it’s necessary to only focus on supporting black women characters who are in meaningful NORMALIZED relationships (whether the male is white or black).

2. Some black women (and I’m assuming just based on statistics that there are other people who didn’t comment who feel the same way) feel that black women should take all the  roles that they can get to create a hodgepodge of roles that black women  can pick and choose from.

3. Some black women believe that as long as the character is shown being a “well rounded” character, it doesn’t matter if the character is in a relationship. I.e. the character is a ‘strong independent woman’.

4.  Some black women feel that if you don’t support ALL black women, these black women actresses are going to be out of jobs and well….. We can’t have that….

Because there aren’t millions of jobs as, dentists, office workers, psychologists, they could have instead… amiright?

5. Some black women don’t feel it’s a good idea live “vicariously” through television in the hopes of being portrayed as being in a good relationship. * Note: And let’s be clear that these black women are not the ones (like I am)  who advocate turning off ALL media.

6. These black women don’t understand the simplicity of privilege.

7. These black women don’t understand psychology and perception.

And I don’t mean that in a way that would insinuate that I’m insulting any of these readers or commenters  out there. Instead it’s more a reflection on me, because, as they say, it means that I’m not doing my job, eh.

So since my last post clearly left people looking like this:

wrinkled brain

I’ll go back and point out why these basic ideas could potentially spell continued demise for the average black woman.

Let’s begin shall we?

For starters I have said for a very long time (and many commenters also pointed out in their awesome comments) that the mass media is a machine that has its own propaganda going on.   I have, for a very long time, suggested that black women turn off the media all together.

See My Black Women In Fandoms Series under the Series’ Tab.

Unfortunately since the majority of viewers are simply not ready, willing, etc to unplug their televisions and simply walk away their simply stuck playing a game of Russian roulette in which they are only a triggers breath from getting their brains blown out.

You see these women are the ones that don’t understand how privilege works. Or, that is, they aren’t thinking of it in the basic terms.  For women to believe the falsity (and I say falsity because ONLY black women have been sweetly naïve enough to believe this very clever line) that being shown in normative relationships is a BAD THING.

I guess I never made it clear but now I will:  When it comes to black women in most cases concerning feminism the inverse is always going to be true.

That is, and getting purely technical here, whatever will be true for feminists will almost ALWAYS be the exact opposite for black women.

I’ll give you some examples:

1. Many white women feminists have a problem with the fact that many products targeted to white women are always pink, and/ or stereotypically  Feminine. They call for things that are gender neutral.

For black women the inverse is true: Black women ( because of that pesky thing called race) are NOT targeted with things that are “typically feminine” in fact  for black women there is a LACK of feminine clothes, toys etc targeted to black women.

What is the rule here?

White women, because they have white privilege can only complain about these things because they are already ASSUMED to be feminine inherently despite behavior to the contrary.

Here’s another example:

White feminists largely complain that being a stay at home mom is restricting; many feminists believe that the only way to lose their chains would be to have jobs working outside of the home.

For black women the inverse would apply:  Black women (because of that pesky thing called race) didn’t have the privilege of being stay at home moms and deciding to go to work if they felt like it. Since the beginning of black women’s .. ahem.. stay.. here in the Good ole U.S black women have in large numbers, been working, in some form or other.

My family is the perfect example, my grandmother worked, my great grandmother worked (as a maid), her mother worked.  This option was simply not there.

What is the rule here?

White women, because a large number of them had privilege were able to Stay At Home when black women weren’t able to. Now, what does that have to do with this post.  Let’s play the inverse game again. I continually see black women say that as long as the character is “fleshed out” and  has “good characterization” it’s a good role, and that black women don’t have to be shown in relationships (non screwy ones, that is) for it to be positive representation. Because sexism and all that jazz.

The black women have believe this have been hoodwinked to the extreme because they don’t understand what is going on.

But let me break it down for you.

It is not, nor will it ever be beneficial to black women to be *only* shown as “competent workers” and  “strong females”.  Forget your last feminist lesson, forget what your mother told you, forget  the lies that have been peddled and forget who told you them. * We already who spread that lie that black women would benefit even though these same group FLOCK to movies with the exact things they complain about.*

Simply because of black women’s history as workers, the fact that they had to hold down jobs, the presumption that black women are competent if not single, and the pesky little thing called race, black women have NEVER had a problem with being assumed to hold down a job or have a career.

Hell the “Strong independent black woman” idea has become a meme to blacks and non blacks alike in which black women are being laughed at. Like this…

pokemon strong

michonne strong

strong bw

strong no time

toilet strong

strog business

The fact of the matter is troll face got you again. And continues to get you.

I would also venture to say that the only reason why white women can complain about this representation (which they still sign up for mind you and watch on television and) is because they, no matter what they do will inherently be thought of as feminine.

Meanwhile you’re willingly going to the guillotine for them and you’ll never get a penny in recompense.

Black women cannot afford NOT to be represented as feminine. In actuality that fact is what separates black women from white women.

Being shown as feminine, in a relationship, vulnerable, beautiful in mass media would be the way to go to change perception since black women are insistent on playing with the big dogs.

Moving on, let’s talk about the women who may think that it’s in black women’s best interests to support all roles (either bad or otherwise) so they can have an amalgam of ones to choose from.

These women don’t understand the basic tenets of privilege either.

But let me explain why it is deadly to assume that taking on even bad roles will help get black women ‘into the door’

1. It assumes that black women have the privilege of being able to not be characterized by their WORST stereotypes instead of their best. We all know this isn’t true. See memes above.

2.  It assumes that once black women sully themselves making fools and playing the jester for audiences white, black and otherwise, out of the goodness of their hearts will media execs one day decide that black women have paid their dues. It assumes that Hollywood doesn’t have an agenda or a reason to keep black women on the bottom and continue to reinforce that.

3. It relies on other people to give them their “big breaks” which we know isn’t going to happen. See recent comments by Kenan Thompson on SNL and black female comedians who simply “aren’t ready” to be on the show, instead of using the opportunity to stand by other black females.

4.  It assumes that once you’ve overgrown your garden with the weeds that are bad press and bad media  it will be easy to rid, and black women will have the opportunity.  We know this doesn’t happen.   Re. The Tyler Perry effect.

5. It assumes that once you give these people your money they will use it to further a good agenda when all know  that the world loves blacks who behave badly, as long as they will have an audience they will continue to keep being jesters. See Rihanna’s  Pour It Up video in which we all see her practically get a pap smear. Further these people do not want to and never will promote classy blacks, they wouldn’t have been hired otherwise.

Finally one commenter pointed out that beggars can’t be choosers when you’re dying of thirst.

When I first read this I knew there was something faulty about the logic, but I wasn’t sure what it was… I’ve figured it out now, and it might be obvious to other readers.

This comment casts black women in a role in which they are the slaves. In this case black women are dependent on a “master” to “give”( at their whim might I add)  you a trickle of water as they  so choose while ultimately keeping the majority for themselves. Under this idea it is overlooked that the “trickle” black women receive is mostly tainted water that causes dysentery and diarrhea.

Under this idea it also shows that black women can’t get up, walk away and simply move to the GIANT CREEK that is alternative media and work from there. In fact, it makes it seem as if there are chains to be loosed when that is not the case.  In this model of thought, black women have been tricked again in to think that you need  the media, to give you things, ( and not even anything fully) instead of getting up and getting what’s sitting right in front of you.

Again this isn’t the 1960’s the internet is in full force, you are NOT a slave. You are not dependent.

But it does show that the media is doing a good job causing the perception of dependency and ‘all things through us” mentality in black women.

And they say the best type of slave is the one who doesn’t even have to be chained.

This is Stockholm syndrome at its best.   This hopefulness that the media will really , and truly one day give black women something when it had done it’s very best to destroy black women all together.

Further, the supposition that once black women get their foot in the door, they will be given more roles in which are positive is under the assumption that  OTHER groups will support them.

But we know re Kenan Thompson. They will do their very best to keep what privileges they have to themselves.  Because the jackasses, who thought it was alright to degrade themselves for money were let into Hollywood they get to set the standard. These people are easy to appease.  And when they get ahead they will use the only bodies left to stay up. That Is, if it wasn’t very clear, those of black women and girls.

Further let’s not pretend that these groups won’t instinctively revolt against black women taking what they perceived as being their “own” . Ie. Look at the backlash concerning many black women in fandoms.

Basically by supporting anything, you’re supporting the very baseless hope that people will give black women stuff out of the goodness of their hearts after black women have slaved away.

You are playing into a machine and ultimately losing.

Moving on….If I haven’t tired you out already… let’s move to the topic of perception, living vicariously, and the psychology behind the media.

Some readers had a problem with the idea of black women “living vicariously through television”

These black women have a problem with black women going to the media for “relationship representation”

These black women didn’t suggest turning off the television all together, which I would advocate, and have advocated. No. These women were specifically talking about the black women who want to see their own ‘ship’ on television or be cast as love interests.

I’m on to this.

Television is itself  living vicariously. You will never be part of The Avengers. You will never get that hot chick… yes I’m looking at YOU Jonah Hill/ Seth Rogan. You will never be Olivia Pope, or an ad executive in the 60’s or walk with zombies and you will never go on a magic carpet ride.

You will live an ordinary life, on  mid scale, salary, with your mediocre children and your mediocre marriage. Television is an escape. Television is all about living vicariously.

For the people who insist on feeding into the media machine it is also about using said machine to generate positive representation. Because the smart people know that if you see something over and over and over and over and over again you can, whether you admit it or not change perception.

For example see the complete and continual assassination of Asian male characters in the media that we have all seen over and over again that are now part of cultural perception.

Because we all know that if something is said enough it becomes reality whether it’s reality or not.

The only way you would be immune to this is if you unplug completely.

These black women will not but they are busy carrying out the biggest wank by feminists to black women in history.

The wank that I’m talking about is the one where it’s only okay to live vicariously through television as long as it’s supporting the “feminist” (I.e. white female privilege) idea of “not needing a man” (again already assumed for black women) and having a career (also assumed for black women)  The problem these black women raised about living vicariously was ONLY brought up when it came to ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS.

Uh oh.  You see these black women have been tricked by the white feminists who told them that the only thing needed to make black women seen as equal was an awesome career and “independence” (WTM).  So supporting Scandal is alright as long as you only like her because of her bad ass wardrobe. Liking Joss Carter on Person of Interest is simply fine as long as it’s for her mind.. And her mind only.

The greatest irony of it all is that these women don’t realize the inverse on the romantic relationships front.  And that is the ONLY Reason why they aren’t given love lives is BECAUSE THEY ARE BLACK !!!!!  These women so happy with themselves to be given what they perceive as a bone, and so upset that black women want to see themselves on television in relationships don’t realize in the penultimate fail of them all. The only reason why they are not put in relationships is because they don’t want to show black women as flesh and blood characters who think feel, have sex , experience love, and are indeed feminine.

The trick is to make you think that everything’s changed even when you haven’t moved and inch…..

These black women, the evil twin to those begging for their “ship” to win on television when that was NEVER the plan, don’t realize they are simply the counterpart to these women. In fact I’d say that if you think that it’s GOOD to support the roles in which black women are “competent career woman” who don’t “need love lives’ you’re actually even worse off.   Because at least the rabid and delusional “shippers” know what time it is.

They’re simply, how you say, looking for love in all the wrong places, and that’s mass media. For the others, I see the feminist hypocrisy, and I’m calling you out.

For those of you who had no problem with the last post and know you’re getting wanked, I would suggest to continue heading towards the exits, creating your own media, your own representations, and not depending on them or supporting them at all.

Most black women don’t have the resources to throw away on false promises anyway.

You’ll thank me later. Or at the very least save yourself and ass load of money by cutting your cable box, and enjoy a psychological freedom you’ve never experienced before. That is truly when you don’t live vicariously but start representing yourself. Anything is just child’s play.

Until Next Time,

Stay sane, and stay neutral


A is for Anger… And, Why I write What I write…


Today I wanted to discuss the last post that I wrote and some things that have been a long time coming.  It seemed that some commenters  don’t understand why I specifically highlight and focus on the privilege of certain groups and highlight the fact that in some situations black women aren’t going to win.  Some commenters (and some readers) may feel that I focus too much on pointing out the privilege that other groups have that black women lack.

Since I have gotten more than one of these comments on more than one occasion I will spend this post to talking about why I write what I write.

When I started this blog, I knew one of the biggest problems that I had when I looked at the collective lives of black women was that many of them made poor decisions. Now, before you get your panties incurably in a bunch. What I mean by this is whether black women have been (against their will) or not fed a line black a large majority of black women as a GROUP have the tendency to make decisions that go AGAINST self-interest.

Even when  I first started writing this blog I wasn’t sure the reasons for this, if you looked at my early posts,  I did point phenomenon’s that I continually saw concerning black women by I still never noticed the WHY.

It wasn’t until I read numerous pieces of literature by black women authors, like the book But Some of Us Are Brave: All the Women Are White, all The Blacks Are Men and Crenshaw’s very illuminating works on Intersectionality that I started to piece things together.

It was then (and if you look at my posts under the ‘posts you may want to read first’ tab) that you see how I pieced things together, and drew my conclusions, that black women will NEVER benefit from the privilege that is set up to be gained from either black power movements or feminist movements, unless in the barest strictest terms.

Now, some people may believe that write of this is to HARP on the idea or place black women in the position of thinking that they are powerless, but from my point of view I feel that at NYGF it is important to talk about this privilege and point it out in its entirety.

Why? Because most black women from what I am seeing do not understand the name of the game. They do not understand that the game for is rigged in the favor of others (yes based on privilege) and because of this black women do not choose alignments that will have them benefiting.

Why do I emphasize alignments? Because considering the way that privilege currently plays out in the United States, the only thing that black women have left IS alignments.

And don’t mistake me alignments are not something to scoff at. In fact I would say (If I haven’t made this clear to readers before) that alignments are more important than anything else.

Unfortunately too many black women make the wrong ones.  As I said because most black women don’t understand that understanding privilege goes hand in hand with making the right choices.

How? Let me give a few examples before I move on.

Let’s first talk about the “all great” media machine that black women CONTINUAL FUEL and FEED LIKE A LOVING PET.

Recently there were a number of shows featuring black women on them coming out, and as usual many black women, as they always do jumped on the bandwagon to support these shows full blast. Without asking for PROOF that they would benefit these black women have JUMPED at the CHANCE to SUPPORT AND BOLSTER shows, still misunderstanding the fact that the game has been rigged.

In the case of the show Twisted on ABC FAMILY these women believed, truly believed the idea that the media monster would switch things up in the past 100 years and put black women in the role of love interest and not a side kick, and after they’d wasted their money and gotten the show a back order of episodes, that they were again going to be relegated to “token”. These women didn’t understand, still don’t get that in the world of PRIVLEGE the black girl in a love triangle is only there to draw in black women viewers but will never actually get the love interest.  In the world of privilege and the world of media, that white WOMEN are going to be pushed at the penultimate of womanhood, and love.  Instead of black women choosing to vote with their wallets these women got played.  Which they only realized after a series of promotional tweets show this favor for the white female character.

Jumping farther down the media rabbit hole, I continue to see this, the television show Sleepy Hollow on Fox already has legions of black women  orgasming at the prospect of a “person of color” having a  ‘real role”. These black women actually believe that Beharie is going to be a potential love interest and not a FAN WANK. Even if the show starts out strong NOW I guarantee that it’s all downhill from here.

These black women don’t realize that if they even ever intended the black character to be a love interest they wouldn’t have put the Foil of the character having a WIFE that acts as a very effective ****  block.  They would notice that this is cleverly used on almost ALL shows that black women are the major character. Or as someone in a forum once pointed out when it’s time to discourage shipping on a “serious” show a la person of interest they cast a black female character. Because of course we won’t ship them, amiright?

Someone once asked me what I thought about Scandal and I declined to answer the question because at the time I wasn’t sure, but something in the back of my mind has always nagged at me about that show and I finally was able to put into words why I don’t like it or at the very least mistrust the hope of a Happily Ever After for the character:

The show goes out of its way to show this black woman in dysfunctional INTERRACIAL relationship.  Which if you look at almost any show or movie with a black woman in it, that trope is used  ad nauseum.  Aside from the usual **** block trope that is used to keep black women from effectively being put in the OTP  the writers make sure to put black women in shows that either have a LOVE TRIANGLE ( always with a white woman who “wins”)  put them in shows that don’t encourage shipping ( a la  person of interest) or they put them in a relationship that is MORALLY OBJECTIONABLE (For example the man is committing adultery on  Scandal and the man is married on Sleepy Hollow) so that by the end of the show , fans don’t expect them to actually get together.

Now, my point isn’t to go on and on about television shows with black women on them. No my point is that black women DON”T SEEM TO GET THAT privilege in the media almost effectively assures that that black women WILL come out on the bottom. If they knew this black women would PROBABALY choose better alignments.  They would realize that they already lost when they are put in a love triangle to begin with,  or they would realize that dysfunctional relationship is strategically placed  to discourage shipping.

These black women would understand the function of privilege and how it works in Mass Media and keep it moving. Alas, black women don’t not get this and so they keep getting wanked.  Indeed most of the people who were angered by Scandal were upset because the man was white, not because the black character was put on sinking “ship” that viewers would purposefully and instinctively revolt because of “moral objections.”



…. A is for Anger

But let’s move on. Because media isn’t the biggest problem that black women have concerning realizing privilege and subsequently getting SCREWED.

In fact I’ve noticed a few things that black women collectively complain about the following things.

  • No Representation in the Media
  • Bad Representation in the Media
  • Sorry love lives
  • Being overlooked in feminism and black power movements
  • The fact that these groups don’t CARE about their problems.

Did I leave anything out?

In every single one of these cases black women’s problems could be solved if they simply UNDERSTOOD THE WAY PRIVILEGE WORKED. Don’t Believe me? Let me break it down for you.

The problem concerning no representation could be solved simply by turning off your television. And rejecting most of forms of popular culture.  It could also be solved by black women making their OWN media.

Make no mistake, this isn’t 1960’s. The internet is in full form and advancing every day we saw how the web show Awkward Black Girl made a new season based simply on DONATIONS, anyone can publish a book on Amazon Publishing that could have black women as love interests in interracial or even non interracial if black women were willing to publish them.

Black women could produce their own (small budgeted movies) if they decided to organize effectively for donations. (Hell the show Veronica Mars is getting a movie simply from this)

Black women would stop getting BAD representation when they VOTE WITH THEIR WALLETS as other BWE writers like Evia have pointed.

Black women’s  sorry love lives would disappear if they expanded their dating pool past the ‘nothing but a black man” check box while dating.  Again this isn’t the 1960’s it isn’t illegal or hard to date someone outside of their race.

Black women would stop losing their resources and effectively cut of the chances that black men and white women have actively taken to crush black women if they’d stop putting ammunition into their guns and supporting their WHINING movements in which they complain they came in SECOND Place and got the silver medal instead of the gold they’ve been coveting.

At this point we are as far as we can go with either, as both have proven they are regressing. You don’t need to be a feminist or black rights activist to have common sense, go to college or make good. decisions. Despite the lies you’re being fed black women CAN live WELL without giving your soul to the devil.   Many of black women’s problems would also EVAPORATE and Do once they escape blackistan neighborhoods and leave deadbeat blacks to fend for themselves.


So what’s my point?

My point is that I don’t know how much of a connection some of my readers and other black women get, that to be successful in these things.  Black women would have to UNDERSTAND THE WAY PRIVILEGE works in these situations (and yes it is there) To avoid this, to not point out the way privilege would be catastrophic because many black women are paralyzed  to do anything about the problems they have. They may feel guilt at not supporting what they’ve been brainwashed to support, anger that they’ve been screwed again or they may even believe entities like the media do not have an agenda and are actually their ‘friend’.

I at NYGF focus on privilege or the lack thereof for black women because once black women get why they are losing they can choose things that allow them to win. Remember more important than privilege is alignments. Supporting things that truly support black. Women. If you wonder what these things are you’ll know them if they have actual tangible benefits. Not promises of benefits like this is some sort of futurity .

Continual anger is for those who believe that they have no power over the a situation. It is for people who are powerless and have NO Chance of being able to change their status. Black Women are not these people. Black women once they change their alignments or as I have been saying REMAIN NEUTRAL and choose what’s INDIVIDUALLY best for them, they will be upwardly mobile so that privilege doesn’t matter.


A commenter once asked me what was the best way to support other black women. I didn’t have time to answer then but now I can answer. What I would say is that  the best way for black women to help other black women is to SAVE YOURSELF!!!! What I mean by this is make sure that you are secured make the best decisions that you can and other black women will see and copy the same way. Don’t listen to naysayers, they are most likely jealous or scared but most people are followers  so if they see a good thing they are most likely to try to get in on the action to benefit.  Show other black women that you can have the courage to leave blackistan areas and expand their dating pool.  Mentor a young girl (if you have the capacity or the opportunity) to  show them how to unplug from the media world. .

And remember that you are NOT powerless, privilege is only a small facet of life.  You can get on top simply by being smart. Once you understand how it works you have unlimited potential.

Basically live by example.

I know I will.


Until Next Time,


Stay Neutral


PS. I’m sorry this is so late and I failed to respond to comments on the last post. My classes started up again, and I’ve begun writing again. I’m just trying to juggle it all…

Please bear with me.

Also please forgive any spelling or grammatical errors, I was in a hurry.