How To Talk To Black Women: A Fools Guide

 

Along with the Black Women Shaming Phenomenon that I continually keep seeing. I also have observed another phenomenon, in the way of communications that is. This phenomenon involves black women and the other groups of people that black women come into contact with.  The following list are the ways that any good fool talks to black women.

  1. 1.       Talk Around her.

That is when talking to black women make sure to talk other people about black women.  For example to be a very good in discourse with black women publish studies about black women that talk to the general population of black women without actually directly addressing them. That way you can say whatever you want about black women without being true or false without actually incurring the wrath of said black women because you’re simply “putting the information out there.”

  1. 2.       Make sure to generalize.

 

If you want to be a great conversationalist with black women make sure to generalize.  In fact black women love to be generalized.  For example when talking about black women (and this especially works when talking around her) make sure to say phrases like “all black women” or “black women don’t like”  “most black women” and if you’re really clever  you can spice things up a bit with phrases like “I’m not saying all black  women are … but the vast majority are…. “ Black women never notice this.

 

  1. 3.       Remember: All the women are white, all the black are men.

 

It wouldn’t be a successful conversation with black women if you don’t remember this phrase.  Make sure that when you talk about black women and categorize them, pretend that black women aren’t their own entity. Make sure to mesh black women into the “woman” or “blacks” category. Once they’re in these categories ignore them during the actually conversations and talk to black men and white women. And when it’s time to talk about the negatives in both groups throw the black women under the bus.  That’s what black women are there for right? Further it’s even more fun when pretending that AWAWABAM when you pretend that you are the only victims and that there is ya’know… nobody below you…

  1. 4.       Constructive criticism is always welcome.

Can we fix it? Yes we can! A great conversation piece for black women is what they need to fix about themselves. Those “studies” mentioned before come and handy here you can use any ole’ not scientific study like the great one about black women being the “least feminine” to “prove” that black women need to fix themselves. (Don’t forget to generalize, that’s also key) Note: It can also be what other groups of women are doing that you criticize black women for or what larger society actually finds normal. Whatever works, ya’know? Make sure to post these “studies” and findings to large public forums like the New York Times or the Huffington Post that way the rest of the world can enjoy the fun of talk about black women as if they aren’t living. Breathing. Human beings.

  1. 5.       Talk OVER black women.

If this is confuses you basically “yell” (virtually) over black women’s thoughts while they’re speaking.  A good example was the piece on a feminist site in which black women commenters explained the offense of Zoe Saldana and her offensive speech towards American black women and the Nina Simone casting, when they were told to pipe down and let Zoe Saldana speak and have her opinion.  Don’t actually listen to black women’s criticisms.  Make sure to put your own needs first or those of people who aren’t even black women.

  1. 6.       Others Know Best

Take an example from Jim Burns resident black man here at NYGF and tell black women what black women need and like and don’t like. Black women don’t have their own competent mind. Make sure that you take charge and tell black women what they themselves need. Black women *surely* don’t know.

  1. 7.       If Number 5 doesn’t work…

If talking over  black  women doesn’t work make sure that you simply as them to shut up for the “good of the play” and if you have difficulty makes sure that you use shame. Because that always works when black women don’t fall for the lines.

  1. 8.       Insult, Insult, Insult!

If you can’t get your point across make sure that you use a few “sentence enhancers” . Insults, about black women being  “slut buckets” and “white men’s whore” “feminist/ civil rights sellouts” are some popular enhancers  that have been timeless.  What is a good pair for insults are guilt.  That way when you inevitably throw black women under the bus they will be too stunned to notice or to shamed to speak out.

  1. 9.        Present Your Terms & Conditions

When talking to black women, make sure that you present what you want black women to do and how they can serve you. Don’t bother with reciprocity, remember the thought that AWAWABAM because black women don’t have an expectations of reciprocity.  Make sure that when you present these expectations that you use blackmail, shame, guilt, and insults to show what will happen if they don’t let you traipse all over them.  Never ask black women what their  T&C are. We all know they don’t have any, amiright?

  1. 10.    Never Forget…

This is the most important. Do not under any circumstances speak to black women as if they are a full blooded woman who has an opinion of their own. Do not show the respect. Do not let them have a mind of their own. And do not bother considering their hopes, needs, or wishes.

 

Until Next Time…

OLS

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11 thoughts on “How To Talk To Black Women: A Fools Guide

  1. Excellent post. It’s true people really do get away with pulling stunts like this on BW on the regular, but I do believe we’re slowly starting to wise up.

    For me the awakening came when I realised that the absolute bile publicly thrown at BW in the U.S across all media is completely unprecedented. Why noone is writing books or sociological treatise on the phenomena of black male hatred of BW, I really don’t know, because it’s pathological.
    And along with it comes the creepy passive aggressive WW feminist malice directed at us.

    That took me longer to work out, because it’s not as overt but a few months following articles and comments on various ‘feminist’ sites and blogs, soon shone a lot of light on that oneand the scales gradually fell from my eyes.
    That’s when I realised that feminism as actually practised in the west by white feminists, is just white supremacy in drag!

    I feel sorry for the BW still following and supporting such outlets, who think whining and begging for more inclusion will change their ultimate agenda of dismissing and denigrating BW and their experiences.

    The truth is in many ways we still sign off on a lot of this mistreatment. Too many of us are docile and accepting of being talked down to and dismissed. Too many of us simply accept it as the ‘way of the world’ and deliberately choose to be passive and tolerant of it.
    It’s not that they’re not angy, cos they are, but often choose to take it out on other BW rather than face down their real enemies.
    But as I said, things are starting to change.

    • “Why noone is writing books or sociological treatise on the phenomena of black male hatred of BW, I really don’t know, because it’s pathological.”

      Great point Sibyl1. Sadly in too many circle it is taboo to call out Black male hatred of Black women & girls. That is something that really needs to change.

      “And along with it comes the creepy passive aggressive WW feminist malice directed at us.”

      No doubt about it. Unfortunately I am also noticing that it is now becoming taboo to call out
      White FEMALE racism against Black women & girls, and worst of all, that stupid, unfair attitude seems to be showing up in places where you would NOT expect to find it, and where it should NOT be happening! (Not that it should be happening ANYWHERE mind

      you).

      “The truth is in many ways we still sign off on a lot of this mistreatment. Too many of us are docile and accepting of being talked down to and dismissed. Too many of us simply accept it as the ‘way of the world’ and deliberately choose to be passive and tolerant of it.”

      Unfortunately, and it pains me to say this, but I am still seeing that whenever a Black women or girl opens her mouth about the racist, misogynistic abuse and discrimination she faces SOLEY because she is a Black and FEMALE, too many people want to shut her up, shout her down, etc. It is truly disheartening because I had thoguht we had moved past such blatant silencing tactics against Black women & girls. EVERY other oppressed group on Earth has a right to fight back & vent against their oppression except Black women & girls it seems in the minds of too many, SMH.

      “It’s not that they’re not angy, cos they are, but often choose to take it out on other BW rather than face down their real enemies”.

      Sadly & siceningly, it seems as THIS is the only time people do not have a problem with Black women or girls, when she is being mean/unfair to other BLACK WOMEN & GIRLS, SMH.

      “But as I said, things are starting to change”.

      Hopefully they are. Black women & girls deserve happiness and good lives like everyone else!

      • @The Phoenix, you are so right, blackwomen and girls DO deserve happiness and good lives like everyone else.

        Unfortunately, what I’ve come to realise is that in this life, the only things you can count on getting are the things you are prepared to fight for.

        All these so called human rights, have to be fiercely defended, and it’s actually your REFUSAL to ever back down that really guarantees you the rights and privileges like universal respect and the ability to have a good life.

        So Black women as a group really need to put on our game face and get our fight on!!

  2. Outstanding writing and regarding to “Zoe Saldana ” I notice how she play both sides of the fences. Some time ago she was on the cover of “Essence and Latina” magazine the same week. One of my friend told me its good to have a Black American on both covers. I gave my friend a rude awaking, I told her “Saldana” is Latina first and when it come to getting a role in movies then she is Black American. Further more “Majia” from the Kimchi Chonicles has done this also.

  3. Awesome commentary/analysis as always OLS. I especially like the part where you mention the AWAWABAM meme, which governs so much of anti-Black women/girl discrimination. It is the basic blueprint/foundation for it. Not only is that disgusting meme SOP in the mainstream (White) community it is in the Black one as well. It is truly sickening and has been very damaging to the pysche of so many Black women & girls for far too long now. It really needs to be called out and exposed for the horrible misogynoir that it truly is.

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