A Lesson in Neutrality: #STAYINGOUTOFIT

The storm has arrived everyone. And While I have been done been prepared for this sort of thing, I knew it was coming so many black women are still left out in the cluster fuck. If you don’t know what I’m talking about there has been two big blow ups in the “activist” world that has to do with the feminist and black power movements.  If you want to know more look under the hashtags #solidarityisforwhitewomen and #blackpowerisforblackmen.

These recent blow ups have to do with feminists betrayal of “women of color” feminists by the support of a sleezbag male ‘feminist’ who admitted to purposely trying to quiet WOC feminists and the Lack of black male support for black feminists issues.

I want black women to know, I’m here to tell them, # Stayoutofit.

Remember this. Because while the desperate black women fight to keep these ailing movments together, and the white women and black men  desperately try and placate black women with “apologies” like this one on Feministe

Black women need to remember to keep calm and keep heading towards the exits. If you already got to safety, ie you were never involved in the beginning remember to stay out of it like always.

Do not be fooled by the “conversations” floating in the cyberspace.

We already know from numerous BWE writers that all of this is simply talk. This talk is designed to pull black women back into the thoroughfare and keep their resources, time and sanity drained for whatever benefit.

Ignore the apologies.

There may or may not be a number of apologies from “feminists” or “black men activists” or these people may want to engage you in conversations to find out how they can “do better”

Remember that they can not and will not give up their privilege. They NEED this privilege. If they had wanted to give it up they would have done it 100 YEARS AGO!

They did not because they need it. I won’t got through a rundown of the faults of both movements because we all know what it is and I have written about the need to keep privilege extensively.




These “apologies” and moments of introspection are designed to make you  think  that things will change. Or that they were only trying to help you.



But I want black women to remember that the dance is over.


I’ve said before that anything that was going to be gotten was already claimed long before black women had a chance. And these people aren’t going to help. Further. These people need  black women to prop up there ailing movements because even smart white women have gotten fed up with the entire thing. In the case of the civil rights movement these blacks need willing black women to mule themselves for causes that won’t benefit them similar to the response in the Trayvon Martin case.

These people need scapegoats and whipping posts do not be that person.  Remember that you don’t owe these people a thing. And you never did.

Don’t be shamed.

Ignore the people who may call you out in both movements for “abandoning” them when they need to get “help”. Ignore the guilt ignore the “solidarity” claims. You don’t owe these people anything.   Do not look back.



Remember that you can’t win and watch as people find their true alignments.

If you’ve ever seen the show Survivor you know how cutthroat that game can be. People are always backstabbing.  If you watch the game people are always  making “alliances” who can help them get farther. These alliances are always tested or proven false by how people vote when it comes time to kick somebody off the island.

That is what is going on now. I want you to watch as the white women hang  on to their white privilege and side with the racist feminist. So that they can stay on the island.  I want you to watch how black men actively avoid black women’s issues and keep their male privilege so that they can stay on the island.

These are there true alignments. Despite the sweet words, the pillow talk, the lies, and the downright shaming. This is what it will come down to. They want to hang on to their privilege. So they can be sole survivor. Unfortunately that means blindsiding unprepared black women in the process.

Don’t be one of these people.


All the women are white and all the blacks are men.

If you haven’t read the tweets from supposed “anti racism”/ “anti sexism”  “activist” Tim Wise. You will see that black women who are in a tizzy are getting kicked back into place.  This man is famous for claiming to care about race/ sex. And yet now he’s basically telling black women to screw themselves. Remember in unilateral world you can care about these things it’s an either or issue.  People like this man only care about race or gender. But not both and NOT for black women.

His tweet was this in response to #solidarityisforwhitewomen trending

Apparently a handful of irrelevant self-professed radicals think twitter wars are activism. Uh, no. You are fighting w/yourselves. Have fun


Sit back and watch the feathers fly.

 The good thing about remaining neutral is that you can see things for what they are.  So sit back and watch the feminists and black male  activists try and lasso as many people as possible back onto the titanic. Sit back and watch them have circular conversations and thank your stars you don’t engage with them any more.  Once you get out of the crossfire and disengage they will have no power over you.  I once said that feminists or black activists wouldn’t know what to do if black women talked back you are seeing the fear and anger now.

Remember to align yourself with people who reciprocate. These groups have done none of that.

Remember above all,


Until Next Time,


More links to read if you haven’t yet decided that neutrality is the best way.












How To Talk To Black Women: A Fools Guide


Along with the Black Women Shaming Phenomenon that I continually keep seeing. I also have observed another phenomenon, in the way of communications that is. This phenomenon involves black women and the other groups of people that black women come into contact with.  The following list are the ways that any good fool talks to black women.

  1. 1.       Talk Around her.

That is when talking to black women make sure to talk other people about black women.  For example to be a very good in discourse with black women publish studies about black women that talk to the general population of black women without actually directly addressing them. That way you can say whatever you want about black women without being true or false without actually incurring the wrath of said black women because you’re simply “putting the information out there.”

  1. 2.       Make sure to generalize.


If you want to be a great conversationalist with black women make sure to generalize.  In fact black women love to be generalized.  For example when talking about black women (and this especially works when talking around her) make sure to say phrases like “all black women” or “black women don’t like”  “most black women” and if you’re really clever  you can spice things up a bit with phrases like “I’m not saying all black  women are … but the vast majority are…. “ Black women never notice this.


  1. 3.       Remember: All the women are white, all the black are men.


It wouldn’t be a successful conversation with black women if you don’t remember this phrase.  Make sure that when you talk about black women and categorize them, pretend that black women aren’t their own entity. Make sure to mesh black women into the “woman” or “blacks” category. Once they’re in these categories ignore them during the actually conversations and talk to black men and white women. And when it’s time to talk about the negatives in both groups throw the black women under the bus.  That’s what black women are there for right? Further it’s even more fun when pretending that AWAWABAM when you pretend that you are the only victims and that there is ya’know… nobody below you…

  1. 4.       Constructive criticism is always welcome.

Can we fix it? Yes we can! A great conversation piece for black women is what they need to fix about themselves. Those “studies” mentioned before come and handy here you can use any ole’ not scientific study like the great one about black women being the “least feminine” to “prove” that black women need to fix themselves. (Don’t forget to generalize, that’s also key) Note: It can also be what other groups of women are doing that you criticize black women for or what larger society actually finds normal. Whatever works, ya’know? Make sure to post these “studies” and findings to large public forums like the New York Times or the Huffington Post that way the rest of the world can enjoy the fun of talk about black women as if they aren’t living. Breathing. Human beings.

  1. 5.       Talk OVER black women.

If this is confuses you basically “yell” (virtually) over black women’s thoughts while they’re speaking.  A good example was the piece on a feminist site in which black women commenters explained the offense of Zoe Saldana and her offensive speech towards American black women and the Nina Simone casting, when they were told to pipe down and let Zoe Saldana speak and have her opinion.  Don’t actually listen to black women’s criticisms.  Make sure to put your own needs first or those of people who aren’t even black women.

  1. 6.       Others Know Best

Take an example from Jim Burns resident black man here at NYGF and tell black women what black women need and like and don’t like. Black women don’t have their own competent mind. Make sure that you take charge and tell black women what they themselves need. Black women *surely* don’t know.

  1. 7.       If Number 5 doesn’t work…

If talking over  black  women doesn’t work make sure that you simply as them to shut up for the “good of the play” and if you have difficulty makes sure that you use shame. Because that always works when black women don’t fall for the lines.

  1. 8.       Insult, Insult, Insult!

If you can’t get your point across make sure that you use a few “sentence enhancers” . Insults, about black women being  “slut buckets” and “white men’s whore” “feminist/ civil rights sellouts” are some popular enhancers  that have been timeless.  What is a good pair for insults are guilt.  That way when you inevitably throw black women under the bus they will be too stunned to notice or to shamed to speak out.

  1. 9.        Present Your Terms & Conditions

When talking to black women, make sure that you present what you want black women to do and how they can serve you. Don’t bother with reciprocity, remember the thought that AWAWABAM because black women don’t have an expectations of reciprocity.  Make sure that when you present these expectations that you use blackmail, shame, guilt, and insults to show what will happen if they don’t let you traipse all over them.  Never ask black women what their  T&C are. We all know they don’t have any, amiright?

  1. 10.    Never Forget…

This is the most important. Do not under any circumstances speak to black women as if they are a full blooded woman who has an opinion of their own. Do not show the respect. Do not let them have a mind of their own. And do not bother considering their hopes, needs, or wishes.


Until Next Time…