A Declaration of Our Own

In the course of human events it becomes necessary for one group to leave that of another, despite common characteristics. Because there are expectations from said groups it becomes comes a point of contention within the lives of the first group. Because of this, it is necessary to declare not to the other groups but to themselves that they have the right to exist beyond the expectations, hopes, dreams,  beliefs of others; It becomes pertinent for said group to take a stand within themselves about what they will and won’t accept so that group may live out a fulfilling life of their own. While some may find these truths to be self-evident for others it is not. For this purpose it will be stated.

  • Black women will not be required, forced, guilted, coerced, threatened or otherwise into supporting causes that are not their own. They will not be will not be forced guilted, coerced threatened or otherwise into spending money on people, entities, groups companies and that have given black women equal support or consideration
  • Black women have the right to avoid separate, and distance themselves from people who mean to do them malicious harm whether knowingly or unknowingly.

Black women have the right to avoid people and distance themselves from people who have proven to take part or generate the degradation of themselves or their group.

  • Black women have the right to protect themselves, guilt free and without remorse and without permission against violence , shame, and dysfunction that my harm themesleves or their children or future offspring by leaving communities and movements that participate in or protect/ promote the dangerous behaviors that will harm or influence black women unduly or otherwise.
  • When certain groups and entities have proven even once that they will victimize antagonize, shame abuse, degrade take advantage of et al black women black women happiness or responsible for maintaining the privileged lifestyle of those who have gotten their privilege off the backs of black women.
  • Black women are not required to waste resources of time, money, political support, likes, blog posts promotions, re blogs, tweets, et al to promote those who have proven to be enemies of black women and their well being.
  • We also hold these truths to be self evident that black women’s minds, bodies, souls, spirits, and essence do not belong to anyone but themselves. We maintain that the “Whatever you are, I made you” mentality will not be used to guilt or shame black women to join a cause that does not directly or immediately benefit them.\
  •  Black women have the right to prosecute, shun, divorce, “unfriend”, “dislike” those who have proven to be a miniscule or minute risk to the physical healthy, happiness emotional/ mental health, or lifestyles or general well being of black women and their children.
  • We believe in empowering each other as a group but understand the significance and importance of “skimming the chaff “of people who don’t support black women and these “inalienable” rights regardless of race/ gender or age. We submit to the idea that if you are not with us you are against us.
  • We also know that we are kind beautiful women who are worthy of more than being used for faulty cause and faulty plans for movements that will never come back to benefit black women.
  • We believe that we do not have to react to every incendiary cause and “white knight” for other people and their causes. We can protect ourselves but we are not responsible for protecting other people, especially those who have more privilege.
  • We accept the necessity to stay neutral even in the most delicate matters to protect ourselves, our families and our future families. We believe that we will forgo faulty ideologies for common sense that will provide for a better lifestyle and general betterment of black women as WE so choose.
  • We believe that we are not a collection of traits of other groups but a group of our own with our own, feelings thoughts, interest, ideas, hopes, dreams and causes.
  • We believe that we will not explain these things to those who do not understand, care or feel concern or expect black women to mule for causes that will not benefit themselves.
  • We do not appeal to anyone but ourselves to give ourselves the power or jurisdiction to do things or live a fulfilling lifestyle whether it goes against expectation or wishes of others. It is our right. It is the right of our daughters. No questions asked.
  • We Accept these things as nature.

Signed on this day,

July 4th 2013

One Less Soldier

Note: I hate writing disclaimers but I’m sure that *some* people will take this post as an outward declaration or some way to prove a point to people who have proven themselves uninterested in the lives of black women. In actuality I wrote this long time and timely coming post because black women themselves  seem to have a problem with separating and moving on when it is the most important to do so. For some black women it is a matter of having trouble declaring what they want and believe and going from there.  That is where I come in to say. Though it shouldn’t have to be said.


I hope everyone has a great holiday and I’ll be back with another post most likely on Saturday or Sunday.

Until Next Time….


 You may have noticed I was trying out a different theme/ layout and I’m changing the layout back to the original one. I simply can’t stand it.


45 thoughts on “A Declaration of Our Own

  1. I absolutely love this! This needs to be on a mug or t-shirt! Or better yet printed out and taped to my mirror.. everywhere.

    This is perfect.

  2. Very well stated.

    My personal motto is the following:

    “Life, the Final Frontier. These are the voyages of my life. This ongoing mission: to explore different cultures and countries; to seek out new opportunities and new alliances; to boldly go where no AA woman has gone before.”

    You are correct that BW should not need to declare their independence but if it helps just one other BW to break free from the dead BC, then it has more then served its purpose.

    Ladies, the choice is yours to make (and always use stealth until you are free from people and environments that are holding you back).

  3. Yes! The Black Women’s Declaration of Independence!

    This also reminds me of how sometimes other black women can be enemies towards each other. When Nelly went to Spellman college to have a fundraiser. Some of the black women wanted to have a discussion about their negative image in rap videos. And other black women were telling each other to quiet it up – Its not the right time to discuss things like that. And whenever black women have serious questions are concerns about themselves its ignored. But whenever black men or the black community need money or support for a cause. They go to hard working black women who don’t have a lot of money or resources to give – instead of asking rich blacks or rich black celebs who have a lot more money and resources to give.

    And no one says anything to the rich blacks or black celebs who spend millions on designer clothes, expensive cars, multiple mansions, jewelry, luxury vacations etc – ALL people have the right to spend their money on whatever they want no matter how frivolous. BUT whenever black women become rich or successful. Everyone feels entitled to black women’s lives and bank account. They’re hounded to constantly give away their own money and to continuously support the black community without question. Black women are free to live and do whatever they want their lives. And should never feel responsible for other people regardless of race.

    • Oh dear. Why on earth would Spellman college invite a creepy mysoginist like Nelly their. Just goes to show how little people care or regard black women. and people not wanting to call him out? SMH. Stuff like this should be a loud and clear message for other black women on what NOT to support.

      • Exactly. After the tip drill video you would think that an all women’s college would think that perhaps he’s not someone that represents what they want for their young student body. If anyone ever doubts that black women will be thrown to the wolves in favour of black men then this is one example. An all women’s college whose job it is to promote integrity, education, dignity and self respect in these young women invites a rapper who makes music calling women b- and h-….swiping credit cards between butt cheeks….and you felt this was a good idea? Why not just shut the college doors and drive the women to the nearest rap video shoot and tell them to find a baby daddy instead of getting that degree.

  4. I have elderly parents and I asked myself that everything I do is for their benefit and not mines. So July 4, 2013 I Shaylah have declared independence and will inform my said brother and sister and her grandchildren who scheme money from them and only call when they want something. I Shaylah know that as the bible says that a man foes will be that of his household. Also I have stay away from black churches and go to the place of worship where all I have to do is worship and go home. No more mule work at the church because I have a social life and don’t need the church to substitute my social life only to be around miserable people. As Black women start to let go of these time wasters and energy drainers , they will realize there is world waiting for them for the taking.

    • So July 4, 2013 I Shaylah have declared independence and will inform my said brother and sister and her grandchildren who scheme money from them and only call when they want something. I Shaylah know that as the bible says that a man foes will be that of his household. Also I have stay away from black churches and go to the place of worship where all I have to do is worship and go home. No more mule work at the church because I have a social life and don’t need the church to substitute my social life only to be around miserable people. As Black women start to let go of these time wasters and energy drainers , they will realize there is world waiting for them for the taking.

      Good for you!

  5. LOVED IT! I could not agree more with your declaration. This post needs to be shared far and wide. I hope you don’t mind my reblogging?

    Too many BW are STILL trying to support people who wouldn’t spit on them if they were on fire. I was on FB last week and one of my FB friends (a dark skinned BW) was trying to get a bunch of her RL friends to go to that Kevin Hart movie with her. I remember thinking, is she serious?

    For those who don’t know, Kevin Hart said that dark skinned BW were ‘bad credit having hoes.’ I’m paraphrasing. What he actually said was worse. And yet, here is this dark skinned BW trying to rally her buddies to help line this bastard’s pockets. I commented on her post asking her what she thinks of what KH says about dark skinned BW and include a link to a post quoting that Tweet, along with some other disrespectful stuff he’s said about BW. She unfriended me! SMH.

  6. What an excellent declaration! Thank you for writing such a noteworthy piece and challenging everyone, especially Black women to stand up and speak out. We own our image and cannot expect others to respect us if we allow others to trample upon our dignity. Again, thanks!

  7. Pingback: A Declaration of Our Own | NotYourGirlFriday | Black Female Culture

  8. It is videos like this (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E9w9AfptGGQ) that really make your declaration make shavers run down my spine. I did not stumble on this video on purpose, rather I was reading a wordpress blog post title: white women’s tears by abagond and this video was there. I watched this on mute (b/c ppl are sleeping in my house). However, I watched the video carefully and later I will watch it with sound. The gist of the story is that the black woman with the black shirt was being arrested b/c she was jaywalking, and she resisted arrest (for what ever reason). Consequently, the police officer forcefully tried to arrest her. The black lady’s friend intervened on her behalf and the police officer pushed her in the face. I also read a lot of the comments on this video. Keep in mind that his video was viewed by 1,765,045 people, and 2,172 ppl liked it. Here are my observations:
    1) I must ask can you really get arrested for jaywalking? Of all the crimes that go on in a community why would you focus on jaywalking and let alone arrest someone for it? I am not saying that minor crimes should go unpunished, but this is a bit extreme to me. (maybe her jaywalking did cause some interference in traffic; but with out evening knowing what specifics of what happened before the arrest, I am going to assume the jaywalking was not that big of a deal or else this girl wouldn’t resist arrest so strongly. She must have obviously felt wronged for being arrested simply for jaywalking).
    2) No one in the audience helps this young lady besides her friend in the pink. After the girl in the pink is pushed in the face (in the background) no one goes over to her and checks if she is ok. They all just stand by and watch.
    3) The comments are the most telling. Most commenters felt that the black women were in the wrong b/c they “attacked” the police officer. However, if you watch the video closely in the very beginning it is the officer that attempts to arrest the black lady in black (or at least he puts his hands on her) and he resists. Either I am blind or completely stupid, but I see a lot of resisting from the women and I lot more punching and pinning down by the officer.
    4) Most commenters just referred to the black women as bitches, hoes, niggers, etc.
    5) It was really interesting to me that these two black ladies were only refer to as “women” when they were being accused of assuming that they could get away from arrest simply b/c they are women. It’s interesting b/c now black women are bearing the brunt of the resentment that ppl (mostly a lot of men) harbor b/c white women( and other non-black women) get away with crime, rise in social and economic status due to the fact that they are women ( and are considered oppressed). But the reality is that black women by and large do not benefit from being seen as oppressed b/c they are women simply b/c they are black. Yet it is ok to blame us for the consequences of non-black women’s privilege.
    6) According to many of the comments black women were also to blame for the fact that blacks were always complaining about police brutality (and these comments stated that what happened to these ladies was nowhere near police brutality). Again what was interesting is that these ladies were simply referred to as “black” in these comments. The irony is that the BC only “expose” police brutality against blacks when it involves a non-black cop beating up a black man. The BC only cares about black men not black women, but its ok to blame black women for black men’s privilege.
    7) There were a lot of black men leaving comment basically saying that those bitches got what they deserved.
    8) The few ppl who defended these black women (compare to the majority who thought the cops actions were justified), mainly defended them on the grounds that police brutality could spread into an authoritarian state, in which all ppl are affected. They were implying they did not support this cop’s actions simply b/c one day in a totalitarian society this could happen to them. Few ppl were actually just sympathetic to these poor women.

    -I think a declaration of independence is more than necessary from ALL ppl and ideologies that wish us ill. Remember black women, just b/c a group of ppl are small in numbers does NOT mean they are systematically oppressed. More then likely they will oppress you when they grow in numbers and strength. Don’t limit your list to just white men, white women, and black men. Unfortunately (and i am not trying to be a downer) we are enemies are universal and many are coming to western countries (this includes the arab-islamic construct; indians from india, pakistanis, many asian countries are extremely hostile to blacks/black women in particular and I woud say the arab world is swims in racisms). I believe you will find individuals who deviate, but it is on an individual basis.
    -Could you image this happening to a white woman/non-black woman??? It is insanity, and shows they we are totally naked and void of protection, so we definitely must cut our connections to black men, white women, and white men. The situation is dire, let’s do this NOW, not later.

    • Ladies,

      Beware the subtle concern-trolling in the above comment.

      (1) This person cites a video from Abagond’s site. Abagond is a BM who is extremely anti-BWE. That by itself is reason enough to raise suspicion about this particular comment. That’s like somebody quoting something from the extremely bigoted Fox (Faux) News without mentioning that station’s political bias. Why would any sensible, self-actualizing AA woman seriously listen to somebody who hangs around a rabidly anti-BWE blog by a negro male?

      (2) Notice that this person is trying to redirect the conversation (and AA women’s attention) toward an instance of WM police brutality against some BW. While ignoring the day-in, day-out lethal brutality committed by AA males against AA women and children.

      I don’t know for sure what this commenter’s deal is, but be aware that redirecting other BW back to being angry at White men is a popular okey-doke. It’s an okey-doke that’s often used by those Black folks who want to trick you into staying in Blackistan, and trick you into continuing to support BM who don’t support you: Whenever you talk about disconnecting from non-reciprocating Black men and Blackistan, these people try to focus your attention on being angry at some White man.

      Meanwhile, BM don’t let WW’s behavior pattern of getting them lynched or arrested for rape slow them down from chasing after, spending all their money on, and marrying WW. Wasn’t the jury that recently found Zimmerman not guilty regarding Trayvon Martin composed of nonblack women/WW? Does anybody think that will slow BM down for one second from dating and mating with WW? Also, there’s a rumor that Trayvon Martin’s father is hooked up with a WW. If so, has Mr. Martin cut that WW loose in the aftermath of that verdict?

      (3) This person ends their comment by saying, “Could you image this happening to a white woman/non-black woman??? It is insanity, and shows they we are totally naked and void of protection, so we definitely must cut our connections to black men, white women, and white men. The situation is dire, let’s do this NOW, not later.”

      The essential, legitimate BWE message is for AA women to separate from any and all non-reciprocating persons, places, ideologies and things. BWE is urging AA women to make decisions based on principles like reciprocity and NOT race. The problem that BWE has with “Blackistan” and many BM is not that they’re Black; the problem is that Blackistan and most AA males are NON-reciprocating toward AA women. The anti-BW behavior (and dysfunctional cultural programming underlying the behavior) demonstrated by most AA males and Blackistan is the problem for any self-respecting, self-actualizing AA woman. Not race or color.

      By contrast, this individual is calling on AA women to make decisions based on race.

      This individual is calling on AA women to separate themselves—based on race and color—from the largest pool of men—White men—who are a sensible AA woman’s best prospects for finding marriage to a family-oriented, marriage-minded man in the US. In the US, WM are the largest numerical pool of mostly family-oriented, marriage-minded men who grew up with their fathers in the house. And WM aren’t as racist toward BW as so many other so-called “people of color” like Asians, Latinos, etc.

      Ladies, I know that the readership of this blog has the common sense to judge people and make connections with people based on whoever consistently brings positive value to your life; and not based on race. That’s a simple idea. It’s always amazing to watch saboteurs try to get it all twisted around.

      • @Khadija
        I think you must have misunderstood my stance. 1) First off, my main point was that I find it interesting that black women get blamed by society for things that they don’t even benefit from and occurrences that are NEVER used to aid them. The assumption that black women think they can get away with crime b/c they are women and the assumption that black women make a fuss about police brutality. The reality is that it is white women and other non-black women who can get away with playing the gender card, NOT black women b/c as far as my experiences has told me is that I as a black woman am not even considered a woman. So black women not only do not benefit from this feminist concept, but they are also blamed for it. The sympathy for women in this country is simply not extended to black women.
        Secondly, when injustice is done to black women it is rarely publicized. So there is no fuss or marches when black women are assaulted by the police (regardless of the police officer’s race. How many times did I repeat the officer’s race. anyone race of men who hurt black women NEED to be called out for it. Just b/c he’s white doesn’t mean he should escape criticism). The BC only marches on black men’s behalf, so my point was that ppl who commented on this video could at least blame the BC in general or black men, NOT black women.
        2) Regarding Abagond: You are making some big assumptions. First I don’t know that Abagond is a man or a woman, b/c I was simply reading this particular article called “White women’s tears.” I followed this article from Thoughts on Black Femininity-How Assumed Femininity is Used Against Black Women Part I. I read the majority of the comments on the post on Abagond’s site and in one of those comments was this video that I watched and made this post about.
        3) I agree with your third point that the issue is not race but separating ourselves from any ideology and ppl that wish to do us harm. I think I stated that before(here is the quote excerpt from my initial post-“I think a declaration of independence is more than necessary from ALL ppl and ideologies that wish us ill.”), but I failed to convey this idea PROPERLY in the paragraph that you picked out. Nevertheless, I can’t help but notice that most ppl who want to do me harm, whether they are fully comprehending it or not are black men, white women, white men, other non-black women, and non-white ppl.
        4) I DO NOT think white men should escape criticism from us black women just b/c they are the scapegoat of all things considered racists. I think we should recognize when a black man or a black woman or any one for that matter is blaming white men to avoid an issue/gaslight the suffering of black women, but I do not think that this mean white men are much better either. To me MOST white men are deeply racist. MOST black men are also deeply racist, but they are able to get away with it. MOST Arabs, Indians, Pakistanis, Europeans, Asians, Mexicans, and other POC are also deeply racist.
        HOWEVER, there are many white ppl, and other races of ppl who are not racist. To me they are the exceptions and I am glad they exist, but I am not going to fool myself in thinking that they are the norm.
        5) Black women should date and marry who ever the hell meets the most important requirements for a relationship and whoever makes them happy regardless of race (not creed or culture-this is debatable). The emphasis on white men is understandable b/c well this is the U.S.A. But I don’t necessarily think they are the best choice. I would broaden my horizons more to the exceptions (non-racist/non-anti-BW men) of other races that are now coming to the U.S.A. like Asian men (Korean, Chinese, Japanese, Thai, Vietnamese, and other southeasterners), and non-American white men. Before I get into any IRR relationship I would study the hell out of their culture (many BWE don’t seem to give this advice enough-not every thing is glitz and glam). Yes black women should get away from the blackistan and I am going to say bm, but I don’t think they should jump into Afghanistan.
        6) Khadja you don’t have to agree with my stance, but please refrain from calling me names.

      • I actually do agree that white men, well I would say white ppl in general are less racist then POC. However, concerning men, I believe the men in POC ( I would say mostly Asians-not including Indians, and pakis, etc) that are not racist and do date black women are more bold and more comfortable in their shoes doing so. Maybe these are just my experiences and these thoughts really just exist in a vacuum. But I can’t help but think for the amount of time that BW have been in close proximity to WM (meaning the western world) they sure have not taken advantage of their access to BW. I guess this goes both ways (with BW not showing interest). But than again it is usually men that show interest in women and this makes women more comfortable to give them a chance. For instance, I don’t think so many WW would be so open to dating BM if BM were not basically salivating over them. WW are NOT bold for dating interracial, b/c men literally come to them. (I do believe BW should show interest in men in clever and feminine ways, however, I feel that men should be the aggressor. call me old fashion, but it is what it is).

        • @nodiamondsblackrose,

          I have very little interest in having an extended debate with you, so I’m only going to give this one response. I said what I did because I found your comments to be diversionary; and bearing very close resemblance to the more subtle okey-dokes that are being directed at AA women to try to keep them going around in circles in Blackistan.

          (1) Those who are interested can Google the phrase Abagond BWE. The blog entries that come up (and their comment sections) are anti-BWE. Therefore, as far as I’m concerned, that site is not a legitimate source. Not as pertains to any sensible AA women seeking and finding abundant life.

          (2) The only certain things in life are taxes and death. Everything else is a matter of the odds. One can either encourage AA women to move toward people and places where there’s a HIGHER probability of them finding marriage to a family-oriented, marriage-minded man.

          Or one can keep up the sabotage (whether it’s deliberate sabotage or not, the effect is the same to the victim) of encouraging AA women to keep dealing with people and places where there’s a LOWER probability of them finding marriage to a family-oriented, marriage-minded man.

          When talking about African-American (AA) women who live in the US, anybody who’s steering AA women toward AA men and men from other so-called “people of color” groups is steering AA women toward LOWER PROBABILITY scenarios.

          Latinos, East Asians, South Asians, and Native Americans are colorstruck and downright racist among themselves. Each of these groups discriminate among themselves based on color. And the bulk of them are even more racist when it comes to Blacks (of any ethnicity). These “people of color” are much more racist than the average modern-day White American. The handful of exceptions don’t erase the general rule when it comes to them.

          (3) Unlike women from every other ethnic and racial group, large numbers of AA women have spent the last 50 or so years loudly proclaiming in public that they would never date a WM; and that they don’t want “nuthin’ but a BM.” No other group of women does that. Including not other types of racially Black women—African women and West Indian women don’t run around saying things like that in public. Neither do Asian, South Asian, Latina or Arab/Middle Eastern women. And neither do BM.

          AA women are the only ones who’ve been foolish enough to consistently self-segregate like that—for decades—-in high school, college, and work settings. AA women are the only ones who’ve spent the last 50 years (i.e, since the civil rights era) closing off marriage opportunities for themselves like that. It’s going to take time to undo the damage done by droves of AA women making public proclamations that they would never date a WM.

          For anybody to pretend that 50 years of AA women engaging in this type of “I would never date a WM” public talk hasn’t had any lingering effects on the US dating market as pertains to AA women is running an okey-doke.

          The pattern of in essence asking AA women “AA women—have you remembered to be angry at White men today?” whenever AA women start talking about disconnecting from non-reciprocating BM and Blackistan is another okey-doke.

          (4) As far as any racist WM cop or any other cop who is corrupt, brutal and/or doing something inappropriate: Aggrieved persons need to file criminal complaints, file a lawsuit, and pursue any other legal means of seeking redress. That’s one thing. The odds concerning relative safety and literal, physical survival are another thing. A serious thing when it comes to AA women and girls.

          When one is living in a Blackistan surrounded by swarms of BM registered (and unregistered) sex offenders, who is that AA woman gonna call when one of those negro deviants tries to snatch her or her daughter? I’m thinking of all those AA women and girls who were living as unprotected sitting ducks around the latest (caught) BM alleged serial killer in Cleveland. Who was allegedly “inspired” by another BM serial killer. I don’t know the race of the 3 dead women (so far) whose bodies have been recovered. But from the photos, I can tell which race of women were mostly the ones living in the same area as that individual.


          It seems to me a random AA woman’s odds of literal survival are better with the brutal cop in that video than with the droves of BM sex offenders who live—without really having to worry about other BM intervening in their often lethal activities—in Blackistans like that East Cleveland area.

          That “Who you gonna call when a ‘brotha’ is trying to rape and kill you?” is why AA women need to drop the kneejerk “mad at the police” attitude.

          Soon, those AA women and girls who are left behind in the Blackistans won’t be able to call anybody as these heavily-AA populated cities collapse economically like Detroit (which last time I read about it, currently has a 30-minute response time to police calls due to budget problems). That “AA woman—have you remembered to be angry at the police today?” is an okey-doke that’s going to get more AA women killed as time goes by.

          When one lets go of ideological blinders, all this is truly common sense and not that complicated.

        • Thank you so much for your messages and replies to this commenter Khadija. I often find myself being confused or easy led astray by messages (comments, articles, websites) like these and I really do appreciate a wiser and more clear view to it.

          All of the MA/SS behavior around these spots can be very confusing for young girls reading up on BWE and may get confused or think some behavior or beliefs are ‘no big deal’ or just get caught up in wrong information that does not benefit them in the end.

    • @khadja

      I seriously don’t know what you are talking about. I really had to laugh. I don’t really understand how you got to the conclusion that I am pro-anti-bw-bm??? So the fact that Abagond’s article “white women’s tears” was present on Thoughts on Black Femininity, does that make the owner of that blog pro-bm too? Your assertion is ridiculous. I guess you also must have missed the portion of my post where I mentioned the responses that bm had toward these black ladies who were being beaten up.
      -I am not really sure how I am being anti-cops and anti-white men?? My post was mostly about ppl reaction to this video and how it relates to intersectionality (racism and sexism) for black women. How we black women not only get used for certain causes, receive no benefits, and on top of that get blamed for the mess/resentment these causes result in. Do you not believe any of these are true?? But of course what I wrote doesn’t really matter. You took your magnifying glass and looked for something that is not actually there and then ran with it.
      -I honestly believe something else in my post rubbed you the wrong way. And so you have decided to write me out. It seems that you are the one having a knee jerk reaction. It saddens me really. If you weren’t planning on actually reading and contemplating on my post, perhaps you shouldn’t have responded in the first place.

  9. @khadja
    when and where did i encourage BW to go to BM, latinos or Native Americans?????? And when and where did i even imply that??? I only mention asian men (and very specific asian men). A lot of asian men are racist, but their are many who are not and are willing to be with black women. And there is a growing amount of asians coming to america, although they do seem to settle in certain states. If black women are in these states they should keep asian men as an option in mind. (White men are not the only ones, even if they are the majority. Seriously I find white men too beaten up by society, where they are too afraid to date black women, and you can blame some of that beating on BW, whatever. Based on my experience I also find that it is hard for them to separate themselves from white women, every time I get close to a white men (usually in a friendship way) they always end up saying or doing something to me that lets me know that I will never be as important as a white woman. Additionally, I find that many WM stare at me, but never actually approach me, as if to say that they are interested but don’t think its worth it for their place in society. Quite frankly I find none of this flattering and I am sick of it. )Black women can take a chance and live in a place like China or Korea, or they could meet these men online, or whatever. I have read many blogs with black women doing this and they almost always end up getting married to these asian men, who seem proud and confident to have black women on their arm. And maybe this is just a rising trend, but I am beginning to notice a lot of ambw relationships. To me asian men are also gaining power, to me they seem to be the biggest competition to white men. Asian men are really family oriented. So what is wrong with them? I also think black women can take advantage of the fact that not many other races of women want to date/marry asian men (idk why, b/c I find them extremely attractive, but then again everyone is different). I am not saying put all hopes in asian men, but give them a glance at least for goodness sick. Asian men, in America are more beholden to their families than they are to society, unlike white men, b/c this is not their country. They quickly become economically independent from their families and purpose a relationship with BW, and really don’t give a damn about society. Of course this is only for asian men who actually are open to dating black women. I also mention non-american white men, although I still lean more toward asian men (b/c they are the only men-although just a few-that have publicly pursued me in a non-shameful way. To me that is a breath of fresh air).

  10. We are all shaped by our experiences which affects our worldview. That being said in the U.S. WM are the largest pool of men who still display “family men” values. An AA BW that wants to marry will have the most possibility of success with this group. This does not mean that she should exclude other groups however the exception does not make the rule.

    In addition, currently WM feed, clothe, provide jobs, utilities and protect AAs. Without WM and their infrastructure, AAs would be out in the cold. The reason for this sad state of affairs is that BMs refuse to build anything of their own, when they have money they for the most part give it to people who do not look like them and AAs as a whole do not support businesses from people who look like them.

    Khadija’s comments are correct and I highly recommend the reading audience to read her posts at Muslim Bushido and Sojourners Passport as most of her predictions have come true.

    Blackistan or these Rwanda zones are becoming worse every year. As the economy continues to falter, the majority population will start to “circle the wagons” by putting resources where they deem are valuable (i.e were people pay taxes to support their infrastructure/services and are not a menace to society or expect society to pay for their chosen dysfunction). This will play out with WM law enforcement pulling out of Blackistan and there will be an increase in BM serial killers targeting BW and girls because they know with the “no snitching policy” in Blackistan, the majority will get away with it.

    Legitimate BWE bloggers have been sounding the alarm for several years now that BW and girls must leave these areas (using stealth) if they want to survive and thrive. These atrocities will escalate; the time to take action is now as time is running out.

  11. @Karen
    1) What exactly did I write in any my responses that has anything to do with being anti-cops, ant-bwe, anti-whitemen or encouraging BW to go back to blackistan?
    2) I never spoke of the “rule” in any of my comments. I simply referred to the exceptions (and very specific ones at that). And the only reason why I delve into races of men was b/c I was responding to khadja, it was never my intent to make it a center of my post.
    3) The western world in general have the best places for BW to live. They are the best places compared to other places (Africa, middle east/Islamic world, and places in asia like india, Pakistan, Afghanistan, Russia, etc).The abandonment of BW and children and the BC by black men is deliberate and intentional. However, I don’t think protection by white society for bw was meant to be intentional, but we can take advantage of them b/c they do exist.
    4) I did not share my experience regarding white men, to make the point that what I experienced is what all bw are experiencing. The point is that we are out their. There are plenty of bw who are interested in irr but don’t have the best experiences with ww or just don’t simply click with them regardless of how the stats add up in favor or swirling with ww. So then what do they do? why should they share these experiences with other bw to open dialogue and get some advice instead of being completely shut down. Just b/c a bw doesn’t have ww at the top of her list doesn’t mean she is against ww.

    • NDBR I agree with everything you have posted. I really don’t understand why you are being attacked. Your posts were very truthful about the abuses of black women. Cops are abusing us more than ever. I don’t live in a black neighborhood and I have been harrassed by cops. I was at the grocery store a couple of days ago and at least 2 white men were looking at me like they wanted to kill me! This also happened to me at walmart. Cops also are hostile to bf also. I do date ir but I have excluded white men from my dating pool. I tend to date Latino men. If other bw want to date wm cool. I saw nothing wrong with you saying everybody is not the bw friend. I saw nothing about you saying bw need to put up with bm abuse. I had to reread your post to see what the fuss was about. I didn’t read anything negative or anti bw, I thought maybe I missed something but I didn’t. These attacks are uncalled for. I see this on a lot of bwe blogs. If a queen bee has a problem she attacks and all her drones attack also. Also if you are not a wm worshiper or say anything about wm racism you are a sista soldier or a mammy, mule and other things. I believe in calling out all racists and sexist of all races and not protecting certain ones.I love how OLS points out racism and sexism against bw. Nobody is spared. I’ve really do enjoy this blog because OLS let you have different opinions and does not attack you for them. Just be respectful of others. So NFBR no matter what you say is seems you can’t win.

  12. Great message. As for the debate, I notice that when some people talk about how it is Black MALES who through their hatred of/indifference towards Black women & girls are a HUGE reason for so many of the troubles that Black women & girls have to suffer some other people do not want to hear that either.

    • Black men are I would say the #1 reason or the biggest reasons for many troubles that BW face. I agree with that 100%. I kind of wish the cop in that video was black or something, so I could just get my point across, but its ok.

      • Nodiamondsblackrose, thank you and I of course agree 100% with your thinking. The fact of the matter is that TOO MANY people want to look the other way/bury their heads in the sand whenever Black male abuse of Black women & girls is bought up. That needs to change, and as for the cop being White, well sadly too many Whites do not give a damn about a Black FEMALE victim of White racism, but if it is a Black male victim, then they cry their eyes out, SMH.

  13. I came here excited to read new comments only to find ‘nodiamondsblackrose’ and 1 or 2 sycophants taking up blog space who agreed with them trying to gaslight black women from being concerned about their own lives and relationships. Who also quotes from the site ‘abagond’ which is anti BWE. They have never once mentioned how black men as a collective have done nothing over the past century to help black women in any way, with detororiating black communities and families.

    They simply say to be wary of white people. And if black women choose to date or marry interracially, to WAIT for other races of men to approach them – the way black women have pathetically waited for black men to marry them or protect them. Instead of black women being proactive in pursuing their own relationships with other races of men.

    To the author of the web site – Now that black women realize this person is a troll, can you please ban them.

    • Erin, I think Black women & girls should be wary of/avoid ALL anti-Black female racists. I also agree that Black MALES are the BIGGEST anti-Black female racists/abusers of them all. Anyone who has any problem acknowledging that simple TRUTH has to aske themselves are they REALLY interested in civil rights/happines/full lives for Black women & girls IMHO. But as as far as approaching men of other races, I am sorry we are going to have to agree to disagree on that one. Do not get me wrong, I 100% AGREE that Black women who want to date out should gravitate to circles where non-Black men
      will be in large numbers, and that they should smile, flirt, etc to let these men know they are open to dating non-Black, but when it comes to them APPROACHING said men, no. I do not agree with that. NO woman or dating-age girl should have to approach a man or
      dating-age boy for a romantic relationship, that is the MAN’S job. I have often seen some people in BWE circles talk about Black women & girls “othering themselves” (something that I think is absurd because it was NOT Black women & girls who created the mess that makes so much trouble in their lives, that was created by Black MALES with their hatred/contempt for all things Black & female first, and second by White racism) so what worse way is there for a woman to other herself than by approaching men? Black women & girls are WOMEN & GIRLS just like any other race of women & girls and deserve to be treated as such, period. Black women

      • (Continued) Black women have already done their part by taking steps to expand their dating options since the middle/end of last decade, (as just one example, look at all the blogs/websites for interracial relationships created by BLACK WOMEN) so more of these non-Black men need to step up if they are serious about dating/marrying Black women.

  14. Pingback: To the Question of Why… And, How to Remain Blissfully Neutral | NotYourGirlFriday

  15. Pingback: STOP…In the Name of Love! | Not Your Girl Friday

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s