This post comes on the tail end of many breaking news stories concerning black women that I’ve noticed in the past couple of weeks. (Yes even when I’m not posting I am keeping a look out.)
While there were many different news events that triggered this article for me. What specifically triggered this event was the release of one thing in particular.
It seems that black women still haven’t gotten down pat the idea that they don’t have to jump every time someone barks. That they don’t have to cosign, agree, take sides, disagree etc. I see that many women in many cases are still falling for old troll face who’s making them think that everything has changed when really nothing has changed a damn inch.
I didn’t initially even want to see the documentary Dark Girls. I simply wasn’t interested. And then I heard about the conversations surrounding the documentary. While many people were impressed and others were equally unimpressed, I wondered why this same conversation was being rehashed AGAIN.
Look, Troll face may have gotten you good, he may have led you to believe that this movie was *somehow* going to change the plight of dark black women everywhere (and don’t even start with me I am dark skinned too) but the truth is that you’ve been had. Amazingly.
In fact, I think the deliverance of the documentary Dark Girls will be one of the single most awesome hoodwinks. It’s runner up right behind the black women who take the first place prize for supporting their own degradation in hip hop.
But that’s another lecture story.
Instead let’s stick with why I should be celebrating and salivating over a movie that actually didn’t do a damn thing except maybe compile what millions of black women in existence have been living breathing and talking about for hundreds of years.
First let’s talk about how the movie
- Basically is a redundant.
- Is unilateral and doesn’t talk AT ALL about SEXISM
- Doesn’t offer any solutions to any of these problems
- Had to be created by two black MEN before anyone even other black women gave a dam about it
- Ignores the basic tenets of privilege that I have been discussing for the past almost two years on my blog.
Yes, I’ll go right on down the list and start with A).
This documentary is redundant. This movie was actually unnecessary. I know some black women will say that black women needed to “talk about it” and “heal” but if you go to any Forum and website, read any book about black women this issue has come up ad nauseum. This debate had been debated, debating other debates. The dead horse had been kicked and stomped and obliterated and now its soup like in form.
Black women have been saying this exact damn thing for years. How many times can black women reiterate this conversation?
I know the answer to that. Until they get some sort of validation in which the people with privilege can admit that they’ve done wrong and agree to give up said privilege. When the women like Zoe Saldana and Lolo Jones learn their lesson when Lil Wayne and co stops worshipping “red bones”
The problem with this hope, that the privilege will give up privilege and black women will only then be at peace is what keeps black women PERPETUALLY trying to make/ support movies like this in which they try to “heal”.
Since this is never going to happen black women will need movies like this to “heal” until the end of the world.
And speaking of the end of the world, I guess it will take about that long, probably more for black women to notice the ole bait and switch. In all of the conversation, the most important aspect of black female shaming based on skin tone not one person mentioned the big assed horse eating hay at the dining room table. That is, nobody, not one soul mentioned the privilege that black men have over black women for simply being male. I heard about “racism” as a reason why. I heard about slavery, but there was never any talk any mention to why these things are still perpetuated in this day and age and why it only happens with half of the population of black people. There were never any fingers pointed at who in the black community perpetuate it. No responsibility taken. Though there were some black women talking about “unity” amongst blacks.
But unlike many black women watching this documentary, I don’t think they realized that this is why essentially this will never help black women at all. Because the key ingredient is missing. It’s like trying to make bread without yeast. It will not be successful.
Of course I could tell the black women think that this video will lead them into the promise land that this will not be the case. Because the whole tragic point is that they privilege will never be admitted or given up by the people who are standing in the same group with black women while claiming to be allies. And since that is impossible documentaries like this are moot. This video didn’t even attempt, if nothing else to even call out sexism. Instead it pointed to the flaws of “society” and recounted anecdotes of times when black women felt like shit about themselves. While having a giant group therapy can be soothing for a time sooner or later when black women get away from the highs of “talking about it” and letting it all out, these women will essentially hit a low because they will realize (very quickly ) that troll face struck again, and they are truly, well and still empty handed.
Further, and the most disturbing things that I noticed was the way that some of these black women put too much emphasis on being “black”. What do I mean? I mean to hear some of these black women talk their entire identity is wrapped up with being “black” as if “blackness” is the sum of their existence. Need an example? How about the young black women at the end of video quoting the minister who said that “ blackness was not just a color but an essence of who you are and who you will become.” This same young lady said that she took her color for “gold.”
Maybe some of you find this sort of speech inspiring.
In fact I find this to be the opposite. I don’t know about you but as much as I love my skin color, I no way shape or form do I find this to be my “essence.” Or who I will become. There are many things that create my essence. I love to write, I enjoy reading books, I like to crotchet. There are plenty of things that create the sum of ME. And my skin color is a minute, modicum of the person that I am or who I can be. This person , the person that I will be has nothing to do with what my skin color is. It has to do with my skills attributes and hopes and dream.
In essence I do not equate my worth and personality with skin color.
I find it outrageous actually.
There is a theory in psychology created by fellow psychologist George Kelley in his theory, that people have their own self perceptions, their own self schemas that color the way they see the world. According to this theory, when people experience things that go against their self schema, that creates anxiety.
This is what I see in this women. These women have been taught that their essence is being “ black” looking black “ talking black” “ identifying as black” and the “ authentic black experience” These women have set their self schema around their skin color and when things go against this… well we can see the catastrophic results of this anxiety.
I understand the fact that words hurt. I myself being dark skinned have been mocked by certain segments of the black community. It was hurtful. But I NEVER had my entire existence wrapped up in my skin to where I felt that my existence was crushed by the losers who didn’t think I was beautiful. Further my mother and father kept me distance from the black community so I experience minimal damaged from said dead “ community”
Basically my self schema was created on a faulty foundation.
These women I blame their parents, for not putting the psychological safety of their children. I blame the makers of this video for continuing to perpetuate this stupidity. This video never thought about mentioned that may black people should stop putting so much importance, because it ISN’T the essence of black women or the identifier of people as a person.
. I’d also like to point out how videos like this don’t even offer any solutions. This is why I say that situations like this are terminal. There aren’t any solutions and the ones that could be used to help ease black women’s pain or promote true happiness are never spoken of.
You see, black women won’t accept the fact that some issues are just terminal. They won’t accept that some issues won’t end with happiness, and “discussions” amongst black men and black women, (hell or even black women and white women) where ( black women) end up gaining something. These black women don’t realize that some issues in our lives our terminal and that there is no “cure” that has been found at this point in time. These women don’t realize that they simply have to cut their losses so they can live the rest of their lives out happily and comfortably.
You see this documentary could have gone a lot differently. This video didn’t suggest that black women separate themselves from the rest of the black community which is (as the video itself pointed the majority of the people who shame dark black women) this documentary did nothing to suggest that black women turn off their televisions and not subscribe to people and entities that have shamed black women . (I.e. the entire media machine) They did nothing to that affect. Basically after all the redundant conversation there was nothing proactive about the situation for black women to achieve long term happiness that goes beyond simply getting things off their chest. When the video winds down black women will go home to the SAME CONDITIONS AS BEFORE. The happiness that black women could get from being proactive is never even mentioned. And of course I don’t have to ask why because this is what Halima would call that perpetual talking circle in which black women are drawn in and engaged in conversations to “let it out” without EVER pointing fingers or finding solutions.
This video, which ironically people will not even notice, or if they do will let it go over their head, that documentary that was created by black men ( and don’t get me started about the clear bm privilege that allows Black Men to now speak for black women and create documentaries on black women’s behalf.) leaves black women as poor because it never gives black women anything to make themselves strong. The simple suggestions could have been given were not. The formation of privilege in which black men are still on top in this situation is never deconstructed or even touched on.
Finally, I’m still a bit confused about this video because I don’t get its purpose. If it doesn’t call out any people, if it doesn’t offer solutions , If it is repetitive to what black women have been saying for decades what new purpose has it given?
All I saw was the usual begging the media and people who have proven to be enemies of black women accept them. Or on the opposite I saw women talking about loving themselves without actually giving practical solutions to change their life. Basically it was a reiteration of keeping black women begging and dependent on the hope that this documentary will incite “dialogue” instead of action. I also heard the suggestion that black women “ need” reinforcement that is positive for black women but not once did I hear that black women would be empowered if they were to turn off the tv’s and movies and stop supporting the people/ buying into the system that is crushing them to begin with. That would be the most Positive reinforcement of all but it was never mentioned. They also didn’t mention of course wouldn’t dare tell black women to cut ties with the black “ community”. Though one black man in the documentary mentioned (in relation to black women dating white men) that black women should not expect black men to validate black women’s beauty.
All in all,
This blogger is not impressed.
Though the sad part is many women think this video is revolutionary.
Looks like troll face struck again.
And so many black women don‘t even realize it.
Until Next Time,
Yes I am aware that this month was supposed to be black women’s history and achievement month but I had writing deadlines and didn’t have enough time so my schedule is skewed. I hope that July will be better.