The Dance is Over….
And I hate to break it to you when black women got dressed up oh so pretty. But really…. The dance is over. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, who I ‘m talking to, I’m talking to the black women who have decided to “wait it out” concerning fair and even media portrayals that don’t screw black women over or let them “feel good” about themselves in the outcome.
Yes… l hate to break it to you but the Dance Is over. What I mean is, the time when everyone sat down to fight for their seats at the table is over, the dye has been cast and at this moment in time it’s highly unlikely that the band is going to continue playing.
The punch is gone and everyone is heading towards the exits.
It’s a concept that I don’t think many black women understand as they’ve been trained to go down with the ship like it’s loyal captain. For a lot of black women, I continually see them haunting forums, brigading twitters, lining up on Facebook fan pages to complain to the writers/producers/networks/fans about the mistreatment of black women overall in the media. These black women believe that there is some fight left, some accomplishments to be gained by perpetually wasting their time writing article after article after article about how they wish black women would be given a fair chance in the media and how yet again they are being portrayed heavy handedly, while they hope against hope that things will change if they can just get other people to care.
*Note Please do not even mention that I just wrote a BWiF 101 post about characterizations and identifications. I did NOT do so because I simply wanted to complain about unjust media, I did it to point out characterizations that many black women don’t even seem to be aware exist and do not understand the greater implications and I did it to give the reason why black women should not support the shows they are watching.*
This isn’t going to happen. The band has in fact finished their last set and the balloons are being deflated as we speak. When it was time to “carve up” who was going to get any good portrayal in the media( and we know who these went to See recent minority casting on Downtown Abbey and note what gender the black character will be ) groups other than ourselves. Black women were simply left off the ballot when it was time to vote for prom court.
But why are you telling me this onelesssoldier?
Well I’m telling you all of this so you can stop wasting your time holding out hope. I’m doing this so you can pack up and take your money/time/ resources/ portrayals elsewhere so you can stop being treated as the court jester of television while you support your own mass degradation. Basically I’ll be the designated driver that makes sure you’ll get home safely.
As the designated driver I will point out that there is largely no use in trying to appeal to these forums to try and get a slice of the pie for black women in the “mainstream” media. We’ve seen from my last post that the people who are in charge of black women’s portrayals are fully aware of what they are doing and in fact enjoy doing it.
There is no mistake. It wasn’t an accident that you are being portrayed in the media the way you are. They are fully aware of what is going on. They are Nurse Ratched aren’t they And they have an agenda.
Unfortunately as I mentioned in my other two posts Troll Face and Nurse Ratched have played a good game in either making black women believe everything is changing or that when they get screwed it’s for their own good.
Furthermore as the designated driver I want to point out that these people who are messing with your image are also doing so to assert their privilege over you in the only way that they can.
Case in point Julie Plec writer of the vampire diaries. You see Ms. Plec doesn’t care about giving a black woman a good role because that would mean that she doesn’t get to keep the privilege that she has by making the black girl be the single girl while the other women are well loved and given true roles and portrayed as desirable.
Heck if you want me to really break it down for you, I have heard ( and I can’t confirm this as I have never read the vampire diaries books or seen the show) but I can say that from what I understand from other people BONNIE was the character in the books who had a large role while Caroline was actually the one with the smaller role. From what I understand they basically, when the show came out, gave Caroline (white) the story lines and sidelined Bonnie.
My point is that there is nothing to debate. There is nothing to try and negotiate it’s all going according to plan and that plan was never to include you in the first place.
In fact you’re simply playing into their system where you plead for acceptance and hope that one day they’ll admit that they like you, they truly like you.
This will not happen as they need you to play into their system because they know you will support them without walking away. Basically they know they can do whatever they want to you and you won’t do a damn thing. In fact they know you’ll beg for more whilst they cash in or your desperation in the meantime before they decide to pull the plug.
And where does that leave black women truly?
It leaves you in living out a scene like the one in the classic movie “Carrie”. Similar to Carrie many delusional black women show up to the party truly thinking that *this time is going to be it for black women* “we’re moving on up” . Those same tricks (that I mentioned in 102 and 103) are played and not only do black women not see what’s going on but by the time black women *actually realize* that they’ve been played they end up like this:
Indeed, it takes pigs blood and lives lost (usually their own) before black women come to the*realization* that it was all just an elaborate hoax.
Another case in point:
The show the vampire diaries made the decision to kill of the character Bonnie. Of course this comes as such a *shock* to the people who spent their time investing in a character that didn’t go anywhere. Of course these people have not yet decided to get out. Oh no! They believe that the character “won’t stay dead” and that truly Julie Plec has good plans for them. They think it will get better.
Sad to say that after five years these women haven’t truly learned their lesson.
…. Black Women don’t owe them A DAMN thing.
I don’t think many black women are clear on this concept either. Many black women don’t even realize that they can*opt out* of the dance if they realize what is going on and desire NOT to have pigs blood poured on their head after being tricked into thinking they’ll be voted queen in a rigged election.
As the designated driver at this little shindig I’ll also be the one to point out this:
Black women do not owe anything.
They do not owe their TIME, MONEY, TWEETS “LIKES”, TIME (YES I USED THIS AGAIN),HOPE, TRUST, BELIEF, FAITH, PROMOTIONS, DVD ORDERS, TUMBLR POSTS, REBLOGS, MOVIE TICKETS, FOLLOWS, RETEWEETS, ET AL.
You are not required to “sit it out.” Or “have faith”. You are not required to accept bullshit.
There are some women who may feel guilty that they are not supporting something because they may have been told that their reasons for not supporting it are “petty” or played off as “not a race issue.” They may feel guilty because they want to get the hell out of dodge the moment they feel like something doesn’t sit well.
I’m here to tell you YOU DON’T HAVE TO FEEL GUILTY FOR PUTTING YOURSELF FIRST. YOU ARE NOT REQURED TO PIMP YOURSELF FOR OTHER PEOPLE’S PROGRESS IN WHICH YOU WILL NEVER BENEFIT.
I felt the need to caps lock all of that because it’s imperative that black women hear me.
Your tab has been settled. You owe nothing to the bartender.
Other people seem to think this is some sort of sexist date where they feel they bought you dinner and now you have to “put out” (aka support all the bullshit that they spew out) *See the supporters of shows like SATC or the boneheaded blacks guilting black women into watching RedTails.*
If you feel something is wonky about the situation that they are creating and don’t want to support it, that is your RIGHT.
You do not have to wait until the time that’s always a day away and hope that you’re going to be finally granted anything. If it feels wrong, if you feel like you’re getting played. Trust your gut.
Don’t let the nurse Ratched and Troll Faces play you.
Case in point: Recently (February) I started watching the show Person of Interest. I had never seen it before and make it a point to never watch a show when it premieres until I see where it’s going. It’s actually a good thing that I didn’t get invested in the show because they have announced now that actress Sarah Shahi will be joining the show as a regular.
Of course the delusiods and concern trolls are fawning about the fact that Shahi is a “woman of color” and how cool it is that the two “leads” are both “women of color” (Ironic that she is half Iranian and half Hispanic and both of these groups can be included in the “Caucasian category”) Yes these people would have me believe (like nurse Ratched) that I’m really getting something from the deal.
(Lol. And I just wrote about this. I honestly think I’m prescient because I can’t make this crap up.)
I quickly realized this for the bull it was. And I am grateful that I didn’t order any dvd’s before I discerned what would happen. Because I can’t be sure if this new addition will mean less screen time for Henson who is already a supporting cast member.
Do I feel guilty? No. I am the customer. I don’t have to support tripe that doesn’t present me in the best light or marginalizes me. I’m not required to do that just like I’m not required to wait out season three in the hopes that the black woman character doesn’t get screwed( and really what are the odds of that?). But they if they want to make money they are required to present material I like.
My point is that black women do not owe the people who are producing these shows/ movies/ music/ plays/ etc. their resources while they decide how they want to play god with the representation of black women.
If you don’t believe me ask yourself this. Would anyone watch anything that they didn’t feel they came out on top in? Would they waste their money. We all know the answer to that is a big NO. Do not let them change the standards for black women.
You can choose not to support something.
As I end this post I want black women to remember one phrase:
I don’t KNOW you, I don’t OWE you.
What I mean by this phrase is that you don’t owe these people, they are not your friends. They are not your family they have done nothing to further your lives and vice versa you wouldn’t know these people from Adam if you walked past them on the street.
This is a business transaction at the most. They attempt to sell a product and if you don’t like it you are free to take your business elsewhere and invest in something that can give you a return on your money.
If you’re not getting a profit then it is not worth supporting. To otherwise and you are simply wasting the few resources you have.
And black women simply can not afford that.
Until Next Time,
Ps. This is part of a series
Previous post: Ah Benevolance: The trick is to make you think it’s for your own good when really you wind up as empty handed as before. BWiF 103
Next post: Entertainment for the Progressively Neutral Black Woman: BWiF 105