Smile When You Say That: The Woman Edition

Admit it, you #FAILED.

Seriously. It’s time to put down the armor and accept what many women have known since the 80’s. The feminist movement, got derailed, lost its way, got distracted, whatever you want to call it. But I think it’s time to give up the ghost.

Similar to the Vietnam war that was dragged, out it’s time to admit that women… Failed.

I’m sure you’re thinking that’s a bit harsh. But I don’t mind being the one to incur that wrath of said women who aren’t willing to admit that the new age feminist movement is an #EPICFAIL.

I won’t lie the first women’s rights activists had their head in the right place. (Although I won’t even point out the racism in that first generation wave of feminists.) But those women wanted equality and the got it.

This generation of feminists?… Meh.  Not so much.

Honestly

Let’s stop pretending that the past few generations of feminists who’ve been so concerned about “free love” between “consenting adults” and “sex positivism” are holding down the fort. There is no fort! The fort is really just a cheap tent blew away in the midst of all the stupidity.

What am I *whining* about this time and what made me tell feminists to give up their Call to Arms?

Well I was recently reading the news about a young woman named Mackenzie Rosman. If the name sounds familiar (or doesn’t) this woman used to play Ruthie Camden, on 7th Heaven the show.  By now, Mackenzie Rosman is probably 23 or so. But that’s not why she made the news. Of course in the usual turn of events that women don’t even realize the only way women make the news is when they’re naked as the day they were born.

You see Mackenzie Rosman had an article about how much she’d grown up, because she’s decided to pose for Maxim Magazine.  Of course there were plenty of women, (and men who like barely dressed women) to congratulate the young women for what a “long way” she’s come.

As I read the comments on the yahoo article (granted there were those who disapproved) the comments from the people who thought it was acceptable, and the support and even push of this by women who consider themselves “feminists,” “womanists” whatever the name du jour is, It hit me with a ton of bricks….

Women Failed.

If the definition of  “coming a long way”, If the focal point of the modern movement is being able to get naked; when ripping off your clothes is a privilege or sign of status or a turning point or a career aspiration for women…

 WE NEED HELP.

Honestly. I’ve said a million times that this is the epiciest, of epically epic fails that women have ever created.

Think about it.  The entire logic behind doing crap like this is that that “consenting adults” should be able to “do whatever they want as long as they’re not hurting anyone.”

I don’t know if women ever realized this but women were always able to take off their clothing! People have been doing that since the beginning of time!
SO…. it is the biggest feminist fail of all time when you think that it means something because you can have casual sex, or work as a prostitute and think its empowering.  It isn’t called the oldest profession in the world for no reason….
And speaking on this subject let’s talk about the irony of the feminist world touting such careers as empowering. I find it a particular feminist fail that the things that women find empowering are what men have always enjoyed women doing and created themselves/benefited the most from.  Do you understand?  These women think that it is somehow empowering to take off their clothing which is what men have never complained about.
Even more telling is that while women have changed themselves completely, men haven’t changed. In all of the “empowering” men still basically have done the same things that they always did. Well except now they can admit that they watch pornography, pump and dump, and visit strippers without fear of being shunned.
But I’d like to point out the obvious flaw that I keep noticing. MEN are never the ones to take off their clothes. While the number of female strippers/ porn stars may have grown exponentially since the feminist movement began. The numbers of men have not increased. Further if you step outside of the porn/ stripper movement where you see that the majority of strippers are women, If you look at the “entertainment” industry you’ll see that women are STILL the only people taking off their clothes to be “empowered.”  MEN do not christen their career by stripping down in videos.

Sure, the movie “Magic Mike” came out last year. But Matthew McConaughey already had a career where he didn’t have to take his clothes off for money. And I certainly never heard them tout it as EMPOWERING.
See women have convinced themselves that they have empowered themselves, when really the status quo has not changed. AT ALL.  Well, something has changed, now women have been convinced that they LIKE it.
Bad on you, feminism bad on you.
But I don’t want to bore you talking about the sex fails within the feminist world. Let’s talk about the blatant racism that after 100 years the feminist community has yet to tackle, notice, or care about. And if they did they pushed it aside.
Let’s talk about yet and more importantly, GROWING and MORE OBVIOUS racism. And if it’s not racism its feigned stupidity and foolishness that 10+  years had done nothing to fix.

Let’s talk about an article in Jezebel on the fact that a large majority of women in Nigeria (supposedly) use skin whitening cream. Let’s talk about the feigned concern from the white women on there that couldn’t seem to fathom the fact that black women who bleached their skin and even Asian women in Asian countries do it because the standard of beauty around the world is WHITE WOMEN. Of course to admit this white women feminists would have to admit that they are *actually* better off than their black “sisters”. That would mean that they would have to feel guilty. What I read was a bunch of comments from women poo poohing that all women had to adhere to standards as they tried to say that it was the same as white women had to tan to be accepted.
But as one poor soul pointed out they didn’t seem to get the difference and how inappropriate that it was to compare it. Funny because these are the same women who would (rightfully) get mad if a man tried to compare SAFE male circumcision to the removing of a female’s clitoris or sewing of the vagina.
Nobody told these women in all of their “I wish that women didn’t have adhere to beauty standards that I’m too dumb to realize that I benefit from and uphold”  that they sounded like navel gazing butt-heads.

But let’s not stop there.

Let’s also talk about the ten year old response FINALLY to Tyler Perry and their delayed response to the abuse black women have been incurring and complaining about since day ONE when Tyler Perry first exploded on the scene. NOW white feminists have realized that they have a problem with Tyler Perry’s rapey saming/blaming misogynistic filled film. ( which if we all no Tyler Perry is par for the usual course) . I wish I could say that they finally pulled their head out of their butt or had some religious epiphany that showed them how selfish that they really were. More like the Steubenville case has them on hyper alert and they realized this would be good to use in the their fight.
Because Rick Ross would still be making music if it weren’t for Steubenville.
In 100+ years white women feminists still have not learned that it is shitty to use black women as a tool for their own ends and then discard them afterwards.
Sigh….
Speaking of self serving, Let’s talk about the recent events of Barack Obama calling some (black) woman cute and the feminist backlash.

BettyChambers has written a very good article

http://bettychambers.com/?p=2432

with a thesis on why these women chose something as simple as being called cute to call out but don’t mind letting all manner of evil against black women slip by their heads any other time. She has a theory and it’s not pretty.

I think one commenter pointed out something even more amazing on the article she asked the question

 

 What I find so interesting (read revealing) is the notion to step up and defend/protect a Black woman when she’s referred to with a term that pretty much carries a positive connotation, but when we’re referred to as b-words, ho’s, sluts or a 9 yr. old little Black girl is called the c-word, it’s “nothing to see here/” radio silence from the feminist collective. Very interesting indeed.

This commenter is correct indeed. When a little black girl got called a CUNT by media feminists were among some of the ONLY people defending or downplaying it.  Then when a black women get’s complemented and called beautiful white feminists practically burn down the White House before they get the president Obama to apologize.

Que Pasa?

Why do feminists have a problem with this. Isn’t it as empowering as calling a child a CUNT. The blatant racism in this outrage is telling and teeth grindingly obvious. They didn’t get the point of the white tennis player mocking Serena Williams body could be construed as offensive when throughout history ( think of Sara Baartman) black women’s bodies have been reduced to a JOKE. Hell this white woman mocking Serana Wiliams’  “ass and titties” didn’t even realize in all of her privilege that there is a song ABOUT black women with the lyrics ‘ass and titties, and big booty bitches.”

These women don’t even realize their own blunders.

But nobody would dare speak on the hypocrisy. They couldn’t use defending Q Wallis  (and certainly not Serena Williams)  to their end so they don’t care. But now that they can use this women being called beautiful or more particularly they revolt at the idea, now pick up the war gear.
Not going to happen on this front. Call me when they start caring about young girls being called CUNT.  But that won’t happen because while things like that happen they’re to busy getting mad that Seth Macfarlane joked about seeing Anne Hathaway’s boobs.
I guess similar to the Oscar’s  situation these feminists only go where the attention will be.
How Sad.
But I couldn’t even begin to discuss, would probably write a dissertation on how telling it is that white women feminists had a problem with compliments to black women but not  a blatant and undeniable INSULT….
Hmmmm…
Very telling indeed.

What’s also very telling is the still renewed (did it ever go away) outrage at Beyonce who has again claimed that she is a feminist. As before they believe that Beyonce is too slutty and sexual to be a feminist.  The hypocrisy on this front is still alive and well.

Like I said before any many other posts on this subject. It takes someone very special, very WHITE to sleep with as many men as possible and laud casual sex and demeaning behavior and call themselves feminist (ahem Carrie Bradshaw, ahem, Lena dunham, ahem Lady Gaga.) but Beyonce with her black skin and her blonde weave can’t join in on all the stupidity.
And I don’t like/support/ buy Beyonce’s products but the underlying racism that I’ve pointed out is yet another obvious #FAIL.

But what’s even more of a fail is the willingness to throw away feminist cards on something so stupid.
It shows exactly where priorities are in the feminist community and has me taking 50 paces away.

The relevance of celebrities within a movement is actually a sign of its weakness.  As TheLastPsychologist said in one post (that I can’t remember or I would link), the fact that feminism is “mainstream” is in itself the failure.

Because it’s been “watered down” it’s been stripped of its core to the Girls/ Sex and The City watching women.  As that author said, it’s a product to use to get women to buy movies/ tv shows.

The “celebrities” involved in movements can’t be helpful simply because most actresses/ actors/ singers/ etc will only do what is  popular, what will get them fame,  more viewers/ listeners, and more MONEY.

SO debating Beyonce and her place in feminism is a moot point because the fact that we’re discussing her at is a symptom and signal that FEMINISM is dead.

The conversation is rendered useless.

It always will be when You let celebrities and mass media into a movement.

But that’s the whole tragic point and the reason why Feminism is the #epicallyepicFAIL that is today.
Most women (white and black) will listen to ANYONE who claims to be a feminist. It’s quite simple really to pull the wool over most women in the feminist movement’s eyes.

You really only have to say the same buzz words.  “pro choice” ” sex positive”  “consenting adults”  “non judgemental” and not only will feminists welcome you with open arms they’ll plummet right over a cliff trying to do it.

Hell most women, who have been trained to perk up at these buzz words, show everyday that critical thinking is NOT alive and well.

I think about the recent lift on the ban for women to be in the military, and of course most women (black and white) were so impressed that they would be able serve with their male comrades.

And yet I wasn’t so impressed because I couldn’t help but think, why now?( I will post an entire post very soon on black women joining the military because I think there is some vital information for black women to know concerning  this very topic.)
Why when there are plenty of signals that sexism is alive and well? Why considering the STILL huge problem of rape in the military would they suddenly allow women to be in the military?

At the time I had no answers. But I knew that sexists don’t suddenly CARE for no good reason.

And the a few things occurred to me.  1.  Considering the fact that US is in numerous different wars and is in tenuous situations with Iran, it could this lift could simply because they want more bodies.

2. It also occurred to me that if they do this and then decide to lift the ban on the draft, they will most likely draft women too.  Because they are now allowed into combat.

3. Someone else pointed this out ( and I will go into this fully in my military post)  The fastest growing segment of women in the military are not white women feminists who want to pull a GI Jane. No, the fastest growing segment of women in the military are BLACK WOMEN. In fact the numbers are quite skewed considering the population of black women in the US.

But of course feminists, ( especially black women) never consider critically thinking. Similar to a google search that only comes up with certain hits when  they hear words ( search terms) like “hand to hand combat” “Sexism” “Capable.” “BAN LIFTED”  all they compute in their simplistic minds is “must be feminism.” or “women are REALLY kicking ass against sexism”

In reality these same women who would allow someone to cut their breaks and then drive straight off a cliff if it meant proving that they had as much free choice as the men who just careened off before them. What’s worse  they don’t see the disaster this will lead to for women, who are specifically black.( who don’t have a mattress [aka race privilege] to land on when they go over)  and who ironically have the hardest time in the military.

But to tell a feminist any of this and they become SAD  PANDA who can’t really realize why everyone has it out for women and their rights  or why everyone is waging a war against women when really they are committing the crimes against humanity on themselves with supporting poor choices based simply on the puffed up rhetoric that surrounds/ and hides the true results of these conversations.

More’s the pity.

It’s actually quite sad. Or it would be if I didn’t recognize the privilege involved to even make such stupid, asinine decisions.   I pointed out in my black women edition that black women would support their own stupidity and secretly wonder why everyone trampled them.

And I have to say that feminists will do the same thing. Except unlike black women, feminists will allow themselves to be trampled and bamboozled and skin and grin the entire time, Meanwhile convincing themselves that they’ve come to the conclusion themselves. And mistakenly believe that their impervious to harm.

How’s that for empowering.?

Until Next Time.

Ps. This is part of Series previous edition:  The Black Women Edition

Note image above, while adorable does not belong to me.

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40 thoughts on “Smile When You Say That: The Woman Edition

  1. So you agree that beyonce is not a feminist? – Because everytime I see her, her hair gets blonder. And her skin gets lighter (thanks to photoshop) which she shows no concern for. And I don’t think black girls and women need that type of role model, considering all the colorism in the black community. I put her in the same category as nicki minaj or lil kim. Just less subtle then them. And black women can dye their hair any color they want.

    Just saying I don’t consider a black woman that churns out commercial jingle songs and dances like a vegas showgirl to be a feminist —– She just has a good marketing team.
    NOT knocking her game or vegas showgirls! That’s just her niche that she chose for herself in life. Which is fine. But I don’t in any way consider what she does to be feminism – No more than I think lady gaga to be a feminist – Especially considering the type of man beyonce chose to marry! She’s just an average singer with good weaves, flashy outfits, and a good marketing team.

    FYI – Now some black people are making denigrating remarks about beyonce’s daughter’s hair. And I should be concerned why? A black woman that married a misogynist who has become rich from denigrating black women. And has many famous black male friends/rappers who are also mysogonists. She and her husband have more than enough money and power to shield their daughter from any negative comments from the media as she grows up. I’m more more concerned for the black girls who might be negatively brainwashed by ‘The Black Community’. And black girls like Gabby Douglas who was denigrated by other blacks about her hair – while at the olympics?! Because these famous black women celebs aren’t doing anything to help other black girls and women, or at least not doing enough to help them stay away from other mysoginist blacks.

    • Do I agree that beyonce is not a feminist?

      I have two answers to that. By MY standards NO. In no way shape or form do I think that the woman who “twerks” and shows off her body for a money is a feminist. And in no way do I think that the woman who married a pimp and drug dealer is a feminist. That is literally not possible.

      On the other hand by the “mainstream” version of feminism that claims that stripping is empowering then in THEIR world she is no less feminist than the white feminists who do the same thing and claim to be feminists (Lady Gaga). So i don’t understand Their hypocrisy.

      But no I personally don’t think she’s a feminist.Hell I don’t believe 90 percent of the women calling themselves feminists celebrity or not are truly feminists. Their behavior doesn’t support the claim.

      But either way like you said there are more important issues for black women. Like young girls like Q Wallis and Gabby Douglas being ripped apart in the media. That’s what we need to worry about. Beyonce was smart enough to make billions she can handle herself.

  2. Clap, clap, clap, clap!!! I think that what you have said here is very forward moving, and I plan to use some of your arguments in my program, where A LOT of feminist ideas come up that simply make me want to gag. Calling female promiscuity “empowering” makes me so angry, considering that in my past I was promiscious and it left me feeling nothing but damaged and broken, and will do the same to many others. Thank goodness for change! Anyhow, It’s like I know that what feminists are saying is nonsense, but your arguments help me to put in words what I already think. Great post!

  3. First off Sad Panda is awfully cute and I want to hug him/her until they stop crying. That aside, this is another well done lovely post. These new wave-new age feminists basically have nothing to complain about so they start making shit up.

    These WWS feminists have already won, there are no more battles. They can bring home the bacon and fry it up in the pan, have the man and leave him cause the can. What else do you want?

    They want to be able to control the conversation regarding what women should be allowed to do and how women should be represented at every turn. They dont care about racism, they benefit, they dont care about actually shaking up the beauty industry, they benefit. Now its down to rallying against foolishness, there was actually a WWS-FEM (White Women Supremacists*-Feminists) discussion over the new Dove commercials.

    They are mad because Dove doesnt really think women are beautiful or something like that. What a useless argument. Who cares? Dove brand and its parent company is in the business of making money. They will tell you whatever to have you purchase their products.

    The crazy thing with the whole now women can fight on the front lines crap was, yes there are too many wars and bodies are needed and two the primary images Ive seen like as promo shots, used black women in them. One here from the guardian

    http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2013/jan/24/us-military-lifts-ban-women-combat

    So you are spot on when they plan for us BW to be first on the battle lines to be shot. Smart Black women better leave that military business alone!

    *White Women Supremacists is a phrase coined by Betty Chambers.

    • Yes. At this point a lot of stuff that the feminist movement keeps coming up with are *first world problem* for example complaining about not having female superheros. There are more important things.

  4. OMG! An awesome comment from the Guardian article I linked.

    “gressy
    26 January 2013 12:13pm

    It is not a true feminist position to advocate the right of women to serve on equal terms to men in the armed forces.

    True feminism does not simply argue for women to be allowed to do all the same things men do. That is noddy feminism. True feminism argues for a different kind of society, a non-patriarchal society that would change men’s lives as much as women’s lives.
    That would mean war, which can be defined as a patriarchal state going to war with another patriarchal state, would not exist as there would be no patriarchal states to go to war.
    Consequently arguing that some women should also be “allowed” to kill people in the way some men are allowed to kill people is really anti-feminist and pro-patriarchy.”

  5. Excellent post.

    I had always suspected that BW were becoming a significant percentage of women in the military. I fear that these women are not thinking through the consequences of coming home with missing limbs, damaged or missing faces, victim of gang rapes by fellow members in the military or with shell shock. Women will still marry a wounded man; men will not typically take a woman that comes home damaged.

    BW have so many obstacles to overcome, I truly do not understand them willingly joining the Military Industrial Complex that only sees them as cannon fodder and expendable.

    WW have always had their “own” agenda, namely it is “all about them”. BW should never forget this fact and act accordingly.

    • Karen, take a look around at how Black women are constantly spit on in the civilian world. How they are told they belong nowhere and deserve nothing. Is it any wonder that some would start to turn to the military? Think about it.

      • But that’s the whole point. There are numerous studies that show that women (especially black women) do not fair well in the military. From misogyny to rape/ sexual harassment. To PTSD that is under treated in women. There is Nothing to make women ( especially black women think they would fair better) and some black women refuse to critically think about this before they make the decision.

        • Onelesssoldier, the whole point of my post was just to show HOW Black women may come to think of joining the military. The raciomisogny that Black women/girls and ONLY Black women/girls have to deal with every day is the problem, not how Black women think. That raciomysogny is unique because in the history of opressed peoples, NO other group has had to fight against discrimination/abuse from outsiders as well as from their OWN the way Black women/girls have to.

        • That raciomysogny is unique because in the history of opressed peoples, NO other group has had to fight against discrimination/abuse from outsiders as well as from their OWN the way Black women/girls have to.

          but this isn’t necessarily true. For one thing past black women ( in America ) certainly still filled this group and yet there were plenty of black women who were able to make rational logical opinions that would benefit them. Even today in other countries there are (black) women who certainly fit that category and they were/ are able to come together to make decisions that will benifit them.

          i see it every day. Look at the Democratic Republic of Congo (DRC) those women face threats of rape every day. Those women black women live in war torn countries, where “there” men are victimizing them completely and yet they are not making the same foolish decisions that i see some foolish black women make. In one African country( i forget but it is on youtube) the black women of one village had to completely seperate themselves from the men because of the violence. They had problem and they fixed it.

          Also everyone doesn’t even neccessarily grow up like this. I grew up a middle class military family. I wasn’t in the ghetto, and neither wer my friends.These people grew up in middle class had every opportunity to research things that were not going their way. SOME of these women simply just don’t care or simply don’t want to listen to other people. Like i said in the Black Women edition their are plenty of “educated” black women who have been presented with alternatives and they do not take them/ get offended at the idea.

          I don’t know if you saw my other comment but I’m going to write a post on this because I don’t think I can put this into one comment

      • The Phoenix, I am quite aware of the possible reasons why, the sad truth is that the Military Industrial Complex is not going to treat them any better. The latest numbers concerning sexual harassment and assault in the military bears witness to this sad truth (i.e., ca. 19000 cases if in 2010 and the newest numbers cite 26000 cases in 2012.

        There is still the unsolved case of the a young BW who was raped and murdered:

        http://blackcommentator.com/309/309_col_lavena_johnson_raped_murdered_military_base_iraq.html

        Any BW considering the military should read this article and think long and hard about the ramifications of joining the Military Industrial Complex as the life you save could be your own:

        http://likeawhisper.wordpress.com/2010/09/05/what-happens-in-iraq-stays-in-iraq-remembering-lavena-johnson/

        • Onelesssoldier, the African nation you speak of is Kenya, and the sisters who did that seperation are the Umoja group of women. To further expand on that point, I will offer an explanation of why our African sistas are better able to do what you pointed out. You see those sistas were not part of a minority in a majority White land where racism & segregation created a situation where unity (or better yet the APPERANCE of such) was a must for Blacks to survive in America. Hence, that is also why I think as so many people will point out on BEW blogs and elsewhere, why things seemed to better in years past for the state of the Black female nation. Do you notice how the the further & further we move from the endo of Jim Crown/Segregation in this countyr (USA), the lot of Black women & girls appears to be getting WORSE? If you have, I offer as my reason that is because the feigned unity is no longer necessary, so Black males TRUE feelings about Black women & girls, ie they hate their guts, is now out in th eopen and they are bhaving as such and Black women & girls are suffering terribly because of it. Our African sistas never had any pretense of “unity” to fool them into thinking that Black males did not hate them, and usch were/are able to formulate solutions on how best to deal with being in such a horrible situation, as well as having taken the time to deal with the hurt of being hated by them rather than deny it or look for other reasons for why they are being treated this way by who SHOULD be protecting & loving them the most. That lack of pretense of unity has forced them to see the sad situation for what it really is, ie that the males in their race hate them.

          What exactly do you mean by “Did not grow up like this?” Like what exactly? Black male hatred of Black women & girls is not based on social class. Look at all the rich, succsesful Black men who want nothing to do with Black women and who are certainly not concerned with the fate/well-being of young Black girls.

          Yes I saw that reply from you in the other thread, and I am very confused by it. As far as this idea that these Black women simply do not care, I thought we were trying to get away from this idea that everything wrong in Black women & girl’s lives os the fault of them & them only? That after all is what the mainstream Black society as well as racist/liberal White society tells Black women & girls every day. I also posted a response to the “Black women do not care” theoryin that same thread. Did you see it?

        • I’m sorry but I can’t agree with this. Those women literally have nothing compared to African American women today. But if you want to use another example got to South Africa. There is white racism, there was an anti apartheid movement that blacks unified for and yet from what I’ve read getting raped is prevelant. Also from what I’ve read these women haven’t heistated to protest for their rights when necessary. When Anene Booysen was raped and killed they were rightfully outraged.
          Yes I do notice that, make no mistake though, that “unity” was not as “unified” as people would like you to believe. Read literature from black women that was written during the slavery days and black women knew something was amiss. The famous line along the lines of “black men may be discriminated against in public but can go home and beat his black wife in private” was pointed out years ago. Heck it’s one of the reasons why I tout the book “But some of us our brave- All the Women Are White, All the Black Are Men” because even in the early days during the movements black women knew something was wrong and she subsequently wrote about it.
          There have been people ringing the bell that the titanic is sinking on both movements and some black women refuse to use common sense. Case in point I have had numerous conversations with my friend about the fact that sexism and racism movements don’t work but my friend continues on the same path simply because she doesn’t like men. She simply doesn’t want to change her mind.
          What I meant was that these black women don’t grow up in the ghetto. The women who don’t live in “blackistan” have resources. When I realize something was wrong, I thought, “hmmm” I don’t like this and used Google. That was how I found out about intersectionality, and then everything clicked.
          I had a hunch and I followed it. It paid off.
          Black women in America, have options. They have the internet to ask questions, they have the free library to research other women, they have online and offline forums to try and find other black women that think like them, they have literature of black women who pointed stuff out years ago. They have numerous different authors before me who have written this stuff extensively. They have college educations. You can’t tell me that a brilliant group of women who are able against all odds to hold record numbers of PhD’s and Masters degrees can’t unify.
          Yes, black women are oppressed gosh knows I’ve spent my entire blog writing about that fact. I know that black women in America are treated like crap by others. And I do think that we should get away from the fact that everything that black women do is wrong. The majority of the problems are because of the funky movements that black women got stuck with.But I also believe in some sort of personal agency and responsibility. At this moment in time there are fire escapes all around. Some black women simply refuse to take them.
          Other black women simply don’t care or are too stubborn and prideful to admit that everything went wrong. Look at the feminist movement despite plenty of people saying that those women are making the wrong choices some of those women continue despite warnings because pride is a strong deterrent. Others are just happy the way they are, because they’re comfortable with change. And some are in outright denial because they wanted to be right or they don’t want change and are afraid of it.

        • Karen, I hear you. I see your point. I was simply trying to point out to you that the denying of Black women & girls their femininity that the anti-Black female Black & White society is subjecting them to is having serious repercussions on how many Black women & girls see & feel about themselves. The fact that Black women are getting hurt/abused in the military is something that pains my greatly as I HATE seeing Black women/girls suffer ANYWHERE. Both Black & White society has been telling Black
          women/girls for generations that they do not belong in any of the normal situations for women where women benefit and are taking care of, and that they deserve nothing nice, are not welocome, are not worthy, are not wanted etc. I hold them BOTH responsible (ESPECIALLY the role Black males have played/play in it) for 99% of the troubled state of the Black female nation today. You cannot abuse a group to that extent and have them not be affected greatly by it.

  6. Black women need to highlight their agendas. Most of the time Blacks as collective and women join the military for the benefits. The problem is you serve a country that doesn’t give a s*** about you in the first place. We as Black Women don’t get help as it is. Now I leave family members or you find ways to defeminize me again and when they have the perks and spoils handed out, as usual I will get left behind or left out. I am not going to go to foreign land to get treat like crap only to come back being treated like crap. We have so much to offer and I feel that Black women can start our own businesses with technology. Travel or anything that does not require me losing my femininity.
    Also when the 9 year old actress was being called the lowest of the low names, not once did the ww feminist flinch and protected the host. Here is a very pretty little girl who has gotten to the Academy Awards. You have veteran actors and actresses who have not gotten this close in their careers should be a time of celebration and not degradation. She is a very talented young lady and hopefully she will have a very prosperous acting career and hope Hollywood would see her talent and not exploit.

  7. In a perfect world, everyone would get along. All women would get along. It’s been said on various black womens’ blogs, that white women and black women will ALWAYS have different agendas in life. White women will always have their white privilege. Black women need to stop tripping over of what other races of women already have, and how other races of women treat black women. Black women need to close ranks around each other, and build communities with other men who appreciate them. And remember that each race of women looks out for its own.——-Once black women realize this, they will stop tripping over how other women treat them or disrespect them, because they will have their own men who love, support, protect, and defend them.

  8. Erin what are you talking about? Can you eloborate?

    So one should accept someones disrespect because they have a man at home waiting to support them? What about single black women, where do they go? And lesbians?

    No. We have to call them out when they disrespect us whether we have no man, one man or a gaggle. No one here is “tripping” Your comment is basically telling Black women to once again internalize their pain, deal with it on their own or take it out/vent to their partner.

    Isolation from the larger world is not the answer, yes we can have shared communities and shared spaces where we comfort and thrive together in all of the ways possible, but that does not involve giving those who trespass against us a pass.

    Correct me if this is not what you are advocating.

  9. Soul Alive – Clarifying – As I wrote that statement, I knew it was going to be misunderstood. Disrespect should always be called out. I wasn’t saying that black women should isolate themselves with their partner away from the rest of the world – NOT saying black women should accept being disrespected from anyone. I meant there will always be other people who hate and disrespect black women for no reason. Even from their own people. And you will never be able to stop other people from hating or disrespecting black women. Unless they choose to stop themselves. But if black women come together mentally and physically in real life to uplift and support each other like they do on sites like these. And form communities and choose to date/marry global quality men who love and support them. They will enjoy life and not be bothered by the people who continue to hate them or who try to disrespect them. And they will always have protection from the people who hate and disrespect black women without reason.

    • Erin, saying this” “They will enjoy life and not be bothered by the people who continue to hate them or who try to disrespect them” is STILL problematic, and I will explain to you why. First, do not get me wrong, Black women SHOULD be able to enjoy life, but I am sorry this “Not worry about” anti-Black female hatred/disrespect sounds TOO MUCH like the typical “Suck it up and shut up you mammy, mule non-woman/girl!” that anti-Black female raciomysogynists ALWAYS hurl at Black women & girls anytime one opens her mouth to talk about the raciomysogyny that Black women/girls and ONLY Black women/girls have to put up with. Also, nobody is stopping any man from this “global villiage” from persuing Black women/girls if that is who he TRULY wants to date/marry.

  10. “You see Mackenzie Rosman had an article about how much she’d grown up, because she’s decided to pose for Maxim Magazine. Of course there were plenty of women, (and men who like barely dressed women) to congratulate the young women for what a “long way” she’s come. … If the definition of “coming a long way”, If the focal point of the modern movement is being able to get naked; when ripping off your clothes is a privilege or sign of status or a turning point or a career aspiration for women…”

    I used to be puzzled as to why anyone, especially feminists, would applaud young women taking the low road to fame and fortune. You’d think that they would say, ‘NO! You can’t do that. You’re making all women look incapable of achieving success without using their sexuality as a bargaining point.’ But they never say that. Then, of course, I came to recognize that most of these women will do damn near anything for male attention. And there is no better way for a woman to get male attention than to take off her clothes.

    “Sure, the movie “Magic Mike” came out last year. But Matthew McConaughey already had a career where he didn’t have to take his clothes off for money. And I certainly never heard them tout it as EMPOWERING.”

    I had never thought about it before, but you are absolutely right. Men do not aspire to be strippers. I have never met a guy who said he wanted to be a stripper. There are no male strip clubs anywhere in my city or surrounding cities. If feminists really wanted “equality” for women they would not be pushing them to be strippers and even prostitutes. It makes me wonder if this push toward female degradation is all about the imaginary “beauty hierarchy” that they are so desperate to hang on to. That is why they hate non-White performers like Beyonce, who have no problem going there and stripping down for the attention of men as well.

    I’ve actually been on videos by Black women discussing the falseness and racism behind the beauty hierarchy and WW have shown up in the comments pushing their agenda. “Yes, the beauty hierarchy is real! You should all just accept it and worship at our feet” type comments. 🙄

    “Speaking of self serving, Let’s talk about the recent events of Barack Obama calling some (black) woman cute and the feminist backlash.”

    Same deal here. It’s about preserving their imaginary beauty hierarchy. Obama was a fool and a coward to let those cows bitch him into apologizing for flattering his friend. If it didn’t bother his wife or his friend, why should it bother them? Those women did not vote for him anyway, and they never would have. They are White supremacists.

    Like you said, they are angry that he is not married to some bleached blonde White chick headed for a second face lift. That’s why they invent reasons to attack his lovely, unwrinkled, and very personable wife. He is not a WW worshiper. He is not pro-White supremacy, as so many stupid self-hating BM in America are. That’s why that idiot who used to have a cable TV show claimed Obama was a racist. A bi-racial man, with a White mother, who loves a Black woman MUST “hate White people”. That’s the twisted logic behind it. What a pathetic bunch. SMH.

    “I think about the recent lift on the ban for women to be in the military, and of course most women (black and white) were so impressed that they would be able serve with their male comrades.”

    I remember hearing about this and thinking, “ARE THEY INSANE????” I actually heard about the ban less than a week after watching a program about rape in the military and how NOTHING is ever done about it. Any woman who is celebrating this turn of events is a damn fool!

    Another thing that pisses me off about this is that they don’t want gays in the military, but they think having women on the front lines is a great idea. Very suspicious. Also, I have a lot of family members in the military, several of them women. None have been raped, as far as I know, but I still do not want them on the front lines for any reason. If that makes me sexist, oh well.

    • Whenever I hear men talk about being a porn star/ stripper the only thing they site as a potential perk of the job is having sex with lots of women. But not ONE of them has ever said it’s EMPOWERING. And i think that speak volumes.

      Regarding obama I agree. He totally got bitched into retracting.

      Re. the military some of my family was in the military too. My grandfather was in two wars and from what i’ve been told it changed him. I certainly wouldn’t want my female family member to go through that either. I guess that makes me sexist too.

  11. Onelesssoldier, to answer your question about how smart women with degrees and resources can behave that way, I think it is that we are dealing with emotions, very powerful emotions, the heart. The heart can make the smartest of people behave in odd/self-destructive ways, and I believe that in the case of Black women/girls we are dealing with a case of collective heartbreak-heartbreak over being hated by Black males. Now I would like to ask you what do you think the main problem facing Black women/girls in America is today, the actions of the women you describe (I disagree obviously that they are the problem) or Black male hatred of them coupled with White racism/racism from other groups?

    • I think neither. For starters the black women I’m talking about are not necessarily the majority. Don’t mistake that. I write about all black women. They were who I happened to be discussing in this post. The biggest problem that black women face today is their alignments with useless movements. Hence,one of the reasons and major themes is neutrality because this is the biggest most important topic to me.

      • Useless movements? That I most certainly can agree with. Though I would
        say that I think half of it is the alignment with useless movements and the other half the abuse/racism from Black males and the Whites/other races. In any event, I eagerly await to hear more from you about the neutrality approach for Black women & girls.

      • Oh my goodness, onelesssoldier you are so right about neutrality but for a lot a folk that takes sooooo much mind control. When things are ingrained from young it may take a lifetime to “deprogram” and as you said they have the opportunity to change this, they may be afraid of the pain that comes with change. Don’t be surprised, there are so many sisters that fear the greatness they hold within and when sisters have their s@!% together we’re a force to be reckon with, and deep inside they know this about themselves. There are sisters that come from a great family background where family unity is promoted, so there is an umbrella but I hate to admit that most sisters didn’t come from that type of background emotional wise and we all know emotions play a big part in how you interact with the world. Sisters know they’re awesome but a lot of them are not strong enough or “tired” enough to leave certain people and things behind, i’m talking about if they’re going to be successful it’s called ‘ a lifestyle change’ simple as that. A lifestyle change would probably mean getting rid of that raggedy assed man of theirs, letting go of abusive family members, negative friends and influences. They don’t know that there’s better friends, better lovers around the corner and sisters can also choose which family members they want to
        deal with, the good thing about that is there’s no guessing with family you know what your getting. Another thing I see is sisters still carry shame shame for being who they are, a black woman a black woman that dares to go there so it’s like/how dare she be beautiful, how dare she be sexy and successful “ooops” I don’t want to intimidate these fair white maidens with my ferocious sensuality it’s really not on purpose, but this is how we’re perceived if we’re “attractive” for a “black girl” and you know the other images just dang sickening so we settle out of not wanting to draw too much attention to ourselves whether it be negative or positive. I don’t know but a lot of sisters that I know said they would always get sly little remarks from their WW co-workers, sisters gotta toughen up and deal with the hate that comes with having greatness these haters are nothing but fleas, small potatoes. We are hated on so tough because these tripe are jealous our own men are even jealous of us. Only dealing with men that love, like and want you as their wife is what sisters need to do only deal with people that value them and give everybody else the finger

  12. About the bleaching in Nigeria, it is soo true. I’m 16 right now, so I’m dealing with acne etc. and I am terrified of getting skin creams. I want to buy something for removing black spots and I get a bleaching cream, “yaaay”.

  13. No arguments here, but the comparison between FGM and male circumcision was started by Americans trying to make their culture look superior. Anything patriarchy surgically forces on people’s junk should be suspect, and they’ve sold it as a cure for everything from paralysis to Down syndrome. No comparisons between the practices are necessary to state that they are two separate human rights violations.

  14. Pingback: Smile When you say that!: The Multi Cultural Editions | Not Your Girl Friday

  15. Pingback: l’m #NotAFeminist , #StayingNeutral , #DontCapeForThemUnlessTheyProveThemselves #HeForShe? | Black Girl With An Attitude

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