Entertainment for the Progressively Neutral Black Woman : BWiF 105

Hello, hello, I’m going to cap off the BWiF Series.

I don’t know if you are aware of my stance on television and media in itself. But I wrote briefly about it in my post title:  Bombarded By the Media? Turn it off.


But for those black women who may be looking for a bit of entertainment or just aren’t ready to cut the cord on their television/ cable , I have a few suggestions of non offensive media that black women can enjoy.

Note that this is a somewhat short list but if anyone has any movies, books, television shows, etc that black women can enjoy that I have not mentioned please and truly mean please leave a comment below. I hope to make this list more complete as time goes on.

For now here is my short list of suggestions for entertainment.

Reality Television:  The best time of reality television is the type that is actually real.  By this I mean documentaries.  There are literally hundreds of documentaries on YouTube and Hulu  for free on a number of different topics ranging from animals to people, to history.  If you’re looking for a bit of education with your entertainment this is for you. I love learning about new things and some of the stuff (like the videos I’ve linked below) are absolutely fascinating.

There are channels like the Smithsonian channel or  National Geographic Channel and even all hulu all you have to do is search for the type of documentary you want and it will bring up plenty of documentaries to watch. If you subscribe to Hulu Plus or Netflix you’ll get even more.


Finding that traditional books don’t give you  enough? Or want to read a book that is geared towards black women without what BWE writers call “pain porn”. There are thousands of independently published books on Amazon Kindle that are wonderful. These books are written by black women.  I’ve read some of these books and they are very good quality.  ( If you have an Ipad I’m pretty sure there is a Kindle App for Apple products.)

Books like the one below are supposed to be very good and Kindle gives black women entertainment to read while it gives the author a platform that might otherwise be closed off.(Note the book below is by a published author but there are plenty of books on there from Amazon Independent Publishers. Read this link below. By Interracial Intersection that gives the rundown on these books.  Note I haven’t read this book that I linked below but it seemed interesting. If readers don’t find the book suitable I will take the link down and put something else up.



Foreign Films:

Want to watch movies with black women on Youtube.  There are many foreign films that have been put on Youtube that have black women in them. Nigeria has its own movie production similar to Hollywood. Many of these films have been put on YouTube to watch for free.  If you search ‘Nigerian movies” on YouTube there are many different movies that pop up.

Foreign Films Part Deux:   Want to brush up on a different language? I have noticed that there are also many different foreign films (French, Spanish, South Korean, Bollywood, etc) on YouTube.  On YouTube many of them are free and if you have Amazon Prime a lot of them are free also. My sister and I watched a very amusing Bollywood movie only a few days ago.   Netflix, I’ve seen has a pretty good selection and the monthly subscription to stream isn’t that much. Or check at your local library for these foreign films. You’d be surprised how many there are. I speak some French and there are many movies that I can rent from the  library.  Not only can I practice the language but it’s entertaining too. This classic Bollywood movie below is only an example of the type of movies you can watch.  It’s a very romantic movie so if you like those type of movies it’s a plus.


Antique Movies: While these  older movie may not feature black women, they are very entertaining and they are non offensive.  There are plenty of classic movies that are great movies  like the movie His Girl Friday which I’ve put a clip in.  If you like these type of movies again there are many of them on Youtube or Netflix to watch.

YouTube Shows:  Because YouTube has given many people opportunities of their own there are shows now on their that you can watch.

Awkward black girl isn’t the only one either. This show “The Unwritten Rules” is on YouTube. I haven’t had time to see it yet but some people have said it is good.  ( Note if you think that this show is unsuitable or offensive please let me know and I will remove the link.

Magazines:  After the both Messence and Ebony a scar on black women and magazines there I have noted that there are a few online magazines that black women would enjoy.  No I wouldn’t insult you by including  Clutch or Madame Noire.  The two online magazines below seem promising.



Beauty:  You may notice that I’m *totes* fangirling for YouTube in this post but  I have found a lot of what I’m looking on their simply because of how many videos of different types have been uploaded. If you want beauty tips for black women there are *hundreds* of sites that focus on this like the woman below who focuses on hair. I think she’s amazing  There are two other girls who are also very good.

Music:  Rap and Hip Hop has pretty much left millions of black women reeling.   But there are many different Genres to enjoy.

  • Classical: Entertaining, fun, relaxing and non offensive. Non suggestive and non sexual
  • NYGF approved singers like Jonelle Monae, Kiesha Cole and Melanie Fiona if you like that type. ( I haven’t listened to all of their songs if you think any of them are offensive or should be taken off the approved list or know someone who should be approved, please leave a comment)
  • Oldies: If you want to listen to *actual* music there are classic songs that you can listen to. ( aside from todays pop and rock)  I especially love listening to doo wop. Like this song by The Shirelles that is one of my favorites.  There are thousands of these and not only are they lovely but they are also non offensive.

In conclusion this is on the tip of the Iceberg for black women who want to enjoy alternative less offensive media. As I said before this list is non conclusive but I think from the variety of different things to watch you can see that black women *don’t have* to watch stuff that makes them look bad and can enjoy other stuff. As always I welcome add ons.

This is the end of my BWiF series.  If you have not read it before the other links are below.





Until Next Time,

Stay Neutral.

SHRED IT! A Response To The Question of Hypocrisy

Hello readers! A reader posted a comment on my blog asking me about the interracial dating hypocrisy in the black community.  And since as per the schedule that I highlighted in my “A look ahead post” May is readers suggestion month. So I will be answering this comment. * Note that there were a couple of other suggestions for blog posts that I received. I am not ignoring those suggestions it just so happened that I had the same type of blog posts planned in later months, and I’m going on a strict schedule where I want to have 1 blog post per week and everything is scheduled to a T.* Anyhoo* if anyone has any suggestions do leave a comment and if it doesn’t coincide with a later post planned for a different month I’ll try and write it.

-One Less Soldier.

Now let’s get into the post. As I was saying a reader sent me a comment asking my opinion on the interracial dating hypocrisy in the black community. She wanted to know what I felt on the matter.

You can read her comments here.


Here is what I think on the matter and the opinion/stance that I think all black women would benefit from taking.

I think NOTHING. ( This is another lesson in neutrality)

You absolutely heard me the first time but I’ll repeat.  I think absolutely positively nothing.

Don’t mistake me it’s not because I am not aware of the hypocrisy or haven’t been a victim of it. But I’ve never actually been concerned with it and I don’t believe my readers should be either.

Whenever I thought about the hypocrisy I almost immediately threw it out of my head as ridiculous for a couple of reasons.

  1. My life is my own.: That is, I am not going to spend my time, money,  love, youth, et al. On someone that I am not completely and utterly invested in. Maybe it’s just me and I’m exceptionally picky but I simply refuse to settle for someone that I don’t think is the best for me simply because of what my “family”/ “friends”/ “coworkers” happen to think about my choices.
  2. My vagina is my own.  Not only would I be wasting my youth and time on a relationship. I’m ultimately letting a penis into my vagina that I don’t truly ant to be there in the first place. Not only am I extremely picky with love. I’m not going to be pressured into having SEX with someone I’m not completely happy about.  That’s entirely RAPEY. Think about this, your family/friend/ coworkers are basically pressuring you to have sex  with someone you don’t like. It’s like the people who tell you to “get it over with” and lose your virginity and pressure you. I didn’t fall for that and I don’t give a damn about what anyone thinks enough to put the lime in the coconut with someone I ain’t even crazy about and totally attracted to.
  3. I’m not marrying/committing/ spending my WOMB having kids with someone that I don’t honestly want to be with.

In these instances hypocrisy never even occurred to me because I wasn’t going to listen to people because I had a line I simply wasn’t going to cross.

Another reason why I simply never decided to listen or even care about the hypocrisy is because I always went by the belief that if it’s so great for other people to do they can do it themselves. In the case of this young woman’s life her own brother didn’t live up to his own standards.  If he  thinks sleeping/ dating/mating with a black man is so great then he can do it. If it were so great her  wouldn’t have her do it while doing whatever he wants.

I put that out of my head simply because I find thought processes like that moronic. Further I am not letting anyone who has already lived their life or had/has  the free will to make their own choices change my mind. I also thought that was moronic so I never even got to the stage that processes hypocrisy.

Another reason why I think nothing about the hypocrisy  is this:

Any person , “family” “Friend” that asks me to do something that will essentially change my life in a way that I  can NOT enjoy and asks me to alter the course of my life by dating/marrying/ having sex/ having kids with someone I don’t love is not my friend at all. Which means once I realize that you’re not my friend/ family/ somebody that I know *care about * I automatically put any opinions that I have in my mental shredder.

I don’t know if anybody has ever seen a certain episode of the cartoon of SpongeBob Squarepants, and Spongebob, who wanted to learn how to be great “fancy waiter” basically mentally “threw out” any information that wasn’t relevant to being a waiter.


I like to liken my stance on the interracial hypocrisy and many other quality of life threatening situations to that.  I know where I want to go in my life, I have my list of accomplishments that I want to achieve. I know the type of career I want, the type of person I want to marry, the type of friends that I want to have and the type of hobbies I’m interested in taking up,  so mentally I’ve “shredded” information that doesn’t pertain to those things or people who threaten me from getting them.

Which is why I say that I honestly don’t necessarily even “process” that information.  I long ago mentally shredded words like “sell out” or “uncle tom” or “white man’s whore” or “Oreo”  or anything that could be filed under  “shame technique”. Those weren’t relevant to where I wanted to be. it became extraneous so I let it go.

The commenter discussed how her brother ruined her self-confidence from a young age because of his shaming techniques and how her mother didn’t care at all.   I have a few things that I think are imperative for the younger black women  (in their teens to here)  to think about when they are about in the dating world and in the rest of their lives.

For starters,

Consider who you are listening to:  One of the reasons why I never listened to people who were trying to use shaming techniques is because I always looked at the quality of life of the person who was saying the information. The commenter for example said that her brother himself treats his girlfriends very badly. I would automatically shred any “advice” they give simply because they obviously don’t know what they are talking about.  I remember once a minister (and I have no idea if any of you are religious) said to ask “on what authority “ does somebody have to give advice. ( You know I may do a separate post on this) Basically asking “on what authority” means  what credentials do these people have.  I always here about “experts” who are always telling people the way to live their lives and usually they have no authority to be speaking in the first place.   And these people rarely like to live the lives that they claim are the “best” ways to live.

Consider  why they are telling you:  Plenty of people feel the need to give black women advice on things that they would, could, should be doing. And there is a “village mentality” concerning the lives of black women that everyone needs to give their input before black women do what is best for them. Usually though these people are usually meddlers that feel that they can stick their nose in situations. They’re the noisy neighbor who just wants something to do.

Consider whether these people have your best interests at heart:  As I said plenty of people like to give black women advice. Usually though the advice given to black women, especially in the case of interracial dating and dating in general is not with black women’s best interests in mind. Usually, like most things it is to further a cause that somebody else finds important. In the case of the commenters family it’s clear that they want her to be a mule for whatever plans the “black community” comes up with . Even if that means renting out her womb and giving away her youth.” In the case of older black women usually single themselves they see pressuring black women as a way to live out their failed youth and have “another chance” fixing the poor choices and pathetic lives they found themselves in. Usually these women are now ex feminists who realized too late that their career wasn’t the most important thing, “black love” proponents who simply want to see their own unity fantasies play out for their own enjoyment, or mules who don’t want to see black youth “selling out.” These people also like to claim that it’s for you but realize that their Idea of “helping” generally has something to do with wronging their own mistakes.

Consider the privilege of the person speaking:  When considering the advice someone gives especially concerning dating, check the privilege that the person has when speaking. In the case of this young lady’s brother he feels he was the privilege as a black male to dictate what it means to be a “true black person” and feels that he has the privilege to dictate “black loyalty.” People who usually give advice to black women, are usually the ones who have the privilege to do whatever they want. For example the people who tell black women to NOT open their pool of dating options of the idiots who tell black women to wait until they’re in their 30’s or have a career are the ones who have the privilege to have an edge in the dating game or have the assurance of having a wide net of viable partners to choose from without expanding at all.

Consider what they have to gain from sending you in the wrong direction:  We already know that certain people don’t WANT black women to be happy, and we certainly know that people gain from black women being sent in the wrong direction.  We already know that black women being successful means less for other people. We’ve seen plenty examples of how people need black women to wield their privilege.  These same people don’t care about being hypocritical because they know that if you believe It it’s your loss. Simply put they just don’t WANT you to be happy because they don’t think you deserve it.

Consider the consequences after they’ve said it:  I remember the few  attempts by people that came into contact with me who tried to bully me. I wasn’t even necessarily about dating either. I either responded in kind and they were shocked that I turned their own sticks and stones on them.  The other side to that scenario was that I responded in NO way.  Here is why I didn’t respond. I simply didn’t CARE.  Just because somebody says something doesn’t mean you have to react. If somebody says “You’re a sellout”. Now what? Does your quality of life change?  (Usually it will only change when you don’t ignore them). Are you prepared to change your life so someone won’t *think* you are a sellout. Generally the consequences are the “disapproval”.  Consider this, after they’ve told you that they don’t like who you’re dating… Now what?

Also, and  I wrote about this before, black women need to be on guard even from their family because more and more people are using “familial connections” as a means of shame and control.  I want to warn other black women ( and I said this in a post long ago) that just because somebody is your family doesn’t mean they don’t have an agenda. It also doesn’t mean that they won’t use you to further that agenda.

Finally, and maybe it’s just me but generally, especially concerning dating, I generally take the stance that most people are morons.  I know some black women may be thinking that it’s difficult to ignore the shaming/ manipulating. Heck I have been in situations of being shamed, then when I remember that the person is a complete FOOL (like I said with the bullying) , I realize that I couldn’t care less.  I think that it gets a lot easier, when you take the stance the people are too dumb to tell you how to date/ live your life, and decide to make decisions that pertain to you and where you want to go.

Once you acknowledge that only you know what’s best for you and shred the rest, Ignoring the thinly veiled or even outright hypocrisy is a breeze.

Until Next Time,

Stay Neutral.

The Dance Is Over and You Don’t Owe Them A Thing: BWiF 104


The Dance is Over….

And I hate to break it to you when black women got dressed up oh so pretty. But really…. The dance is over.  If you don’t know what  I’m talking about, who I ‘m talking to, I’m talking to the black women who have decided to “wait it out” concerning fair and even media portrayals that don’t screw black women over or let them “feel good” about themselves in the outcome.

Yes… l hate to break it to you but the Dance Is over.   What I mean is, the time when everyone sat down to fight for their seats at the table is over, the dye has been cast and at this moment in time it’s highly unlikely that the band is going to continue playing.

The punch is gone and everyone is heading towards the exits.

It’s a concept that I don’t think many black women understand as they’ve been trained to go down with the ship like it’s loyal captain.  For a lot of black women, I continually see them haunting forums, brigading twitters, lining up on Facebook fan pages to complain to the writers/producers/networks/fans about the mistreatment of black women overall in the media.  These black women believe that there is some fight left, some accomplishments to be gained by perpetually wasting their time writing article after article after article about how they wish black women would be given a fair chance in the media and how yet again they are being portrayed heavy handedly, while they hope against hope that things will change if they can just get other people to care.

*Note Please do not even mention that I just wrote a BWiF 101 post about characterizations and identifications. I did NOT do so because I simply wanted to complain about unjust media, I did it to point out characterizations that many black women don’t even seem to be aware exist and do not understand the greater implications and I did it to give the reason why black women should not support the shows they are watching.*

This isn’t going to happen.  The band has in fact finished their last set and the balloons are being deflated as we speak. When it was time to “carve up” who was going to get any good portrayal in the media( and  we know who these went to See recent minority casting on Downtown Abbey and note what gender the black character will be ) groups other than ourselves. Black women were simply left off the ballot when it was time to vote for prom court.

But why are you telling me this onelesssoldier?

Well I’m telling you all of this so you can stop wasting your time holding out hope. I’m doing this so you can pack up and take your money/time/ resources/ portrayals elsewhere so you can stop being treated as the court jester of television while you support your own mass degradation. Basically I’ll be the designated driver that makes sure you’ll get home safely.

As the designated driver I will point out that there is largely no use in trying to appeal to these forums to try and get a slice of the pie for black women in the “mainstream” media.  We’ve seen from my last post that the people who are in charge of black women’s portrayals are fully aware of what they are doing and in fact enjoy doing it.

There is no mistake. It wasn’t an accident that you are being portrayed in the media the way you are. They are fully aware of what is going on. They are Nurse Ratched aren’t they And they have an agenda.

Unfortunately as I mentioned in my other two posts Troll Face and Nurse Ratched have played a good game in either making black women believe everything is changing or that when they get screwed it’s for their own good.

Furthermore as the designated driver I want to point out that these people who are messing with your image are also doing so to assert their privilege over you in the only way that they can.

Case in point Julie Plec writer of the vampire diaries. You see Ms. Plec doesn’t care about giving a black woman a good role because that would mean that she doesn’t get to keep the privilege that she has by making the black girl be the single girl while the other women are well loved and given true roles and portrayed as desirable.

Heck if you want me to really break it down for you, I have heard ( and I can’t confirm this as I have never read the vampire diaries books or seen the show)  but I can say that from what I understand from other people BONNIE was the character in the books who had a large role while Caroline was actually the one with the smaller role. From what I understand they basically, when the show came out, gave Caroline (white) the story lines and sidelined Bonnie.

My point is that there is nothing to debate.  There is nothing to try and negotiate it’s all going according to plan and that plan was never to include you in the first place.

In fact you’re simply playing into their system where you plead for acceptance and hope that one day they’ll admit that they like you, they truly like you.

This will not happen as they need you to play into their system because they know you will support them without walking away.  Basically they know they can do whatever they want to you and you won’t do a damn thing. In fact they know you’ll beg for more whilst they cash in or your desperation in the meantime before they decide to pull the plug.

And where does that leave black women truly?

It leaves you in living out a scene like the one in the classic movie “Carrie”. Similar to Carrie many delusional black women show up to the party truly thinking that *this time is going to be it for black women* “we’re moving on up” . Those same tricks (that I mentioned in 102 and 103) are played and not only do black women not see what’s going on but by the time black women *actually realize* that  they’ve been played they end up like this:


Indeed,  it takes pigs blood and lives lost (usually their own) before black women come to the*realization* that it was all just an elaborate hoax.

Another case in point:

The show the vampire diaries made the decision to kill of the character Bonnie. Of course this comes as such a *shock* to the people who spent their time investing in a character  that didn’t go anywhere. Of course these people have not yet decided to get out. Oh no! They believe that the character “won’t stay dead” and that truly Julie Plec has good plans for them. They think it will get better.

Sad to say that after five years these women haven’t truly learned their lesson.


…. Black Women don’t owe them A DAMN thing.

I don’t think many black women are clear on this concept either. Many black women don’t even realize that they can*opt out* of the dance if they realize what is going on and desire NOT to have pigs blood poured on their head  after being tricked into thinking they’ll be voted queen in a rigged election.

As the designated driver at this little shindig I’ll also be the one to point out this:

Black women do not owe anything.


You are not required to “sit it out.” Or “have faith”. You are not required to accept bullshit.

There are some women who may feel guilty that they are not supporting something because they may have been told that their reasons for not supporting it are  “petty” or played off as “not a race issue.” They may feel guilty because they want to get the hell out of dodge the moment they feel like something doesn’t sit well.


I felt the need to caps lock all of that because it’s imperative that black women hear me.

Your tab has been settled. You owe nothing to the bartender.

Other people seem to think this is some sort of sexist date where they feel they bought you dinner and now you have to “put out” (aka support all the bullshit that they spew out) *See the supporters of shows like SATC or the boneheaded blacks guilting black women into watching RedTails.*


If you feel something is wonky about the situation that they are creating and don’t want to support it, that is your RIGHT.

You do not have to wait until the time that’s always a day away and hope that you’re going to be finally granted anything. If it feels wrong, if you feel like you’re getting played. Trust your gut.

Don’t let the nurse Ratched and Troll Faces play you.

Case in point:  Recently (February) I started watching the show Person of Interest. I had never seen it before and make it a point to never watch a show when it premieres until I see where it’s going. It’s actually a good thing that I didn’t get invested in the show because they have announced now that actress Sarah Shahi will be joining the show as a regular.

Of course the delusiods and concern trolls are fawning about the fact that Shahi is a “woman of color” and how cool it is that the two “leads” are both “women of color”  (Ironic that she is half Iranian and half Hispanic and both of these groups can be included in the “Caucasian category”)  Yes these people would have me believe (like nurse Ratched) that I’m really getting something from the deal.

(Lol. And I just wrote about this. I honestly think I’m prescient because I can’t make this crap up.)

I quickly realized this for the bull it was. And I am grateful that I didn’t order any dvd’s before I discerned what would happen.  Because I can’t be sure if this new addition will mean less screen time for Henson who is already a supporting cast member.

Do I feel guilty? No. I am the customer. I don’t have to support tripe that doesn’t present me in the best light or marginalizes me. I’m not required to do that just like I’m not required to wait out season three in the hopes that the black woman character doesn’t get screwed( and really what are the odds of that?). But they if they want to make money they are required to present material I like.

My point is that black women do not owe the people who are producing these shows/ movies/ music/ plays/ etc. their resources while they decide how they want to play god with the representation of black women.


If you don’t believe me ask yourself this. Would anyone watch anything that they didn’t feel they came out on top in? Would they waste their money. We all know the answer to that is a big NO. Do not let them change the standards for black women.

You can choose not to support something.

As I end this post I want black women to remember one phrase:

I don’t KNOW you, I don’t OWE you.

What I mean by this phrase is that  you don’t owe these people, they are not your friends. They are not your family they have done nothing to further your lives and vice versa you wouldn’t know these people from Adam if you walked past them on the street.

This is a business transaction at the most. They attempt to sell a product and if you don’t like it you are free to take your business elsewhere and invest in something that can give you a return on your money.

If you’re not getting a profit then it is not worth supporting. To otherwise  and you are simply wasting the few resources you have.

And black women simply can not afford that.

Until Next Time,

Stay Neutral.

Ps. This is part of  a series

Previous post: Ah Benevolance: The trick is to make you think it’s for your own good when really you wind up as empty handed as before. BWiF 103

Next post:   Entertainment for the Progressively Neutral Black Woman: BWiF 105

Troll Commenter Wants me to respond to his “points” instead I’m going to address my readers about how correct I was about intersectionality theory.

I gained another troll you all. Instead of Jim Burns our resident black man. We have a new one in our mist who goes by the moniker, “A Black Man”. (Although considering, this could actually be the same man)

At the moment since I already have a resident black man I find “A Black Man” extraneous on my blog. would have deleted his comments (which I will still do in the future. ) But at this moment I find the need to use his sad comments to prove the point that I’ve been saying for the past two years.

What did “A black man”  have to say?

Well “a black man” had a problem with My post :  “If white men pump and dump black women, Black men pump and dump black women”.


Here is what he had to say in response to my post.

A black man:

Submitted on 2013/05/12 at 5:14 am

You are really espousing this “blame black men, envy white women, worship white men” ideology that just makes me shake my head. I hope you get a white boyfriend or husband and stop polluting the internet with your self hating rants. Now if you excuse me, I’m going back to my black family, black woman and black kids.

black power.

Then goes further later on,

Submitted on 2013/05/12 at 8:38 pm

thank your for not addressing anything I said and simply.shrugging it off. I.hope you keep this comment up so everyone can see my point.

blacklove, black power. Lol @ people trying to SHAME black men

And finally when he realizes that I’m not responding directly to him he decides to say. ( I deleted his comment)

Submitted on 2013/05/12 at 11:24 pm

Funny minutes ago you would like to block and delete my comment now. fact is, all black men don’t worship white women or find them more attractive. You however do hate black men and view white men as a breath of fresh air. You espouse that view throughout this blog. Maybe your man cheated with a white girl and you want some getback. But your complexes are showing lol.

You envy white women because you see them as the most desirable. Which is a view ignorant people, usually white share. You go ahead and chase that slavemaster penis. I pity people like you.

Now I’m not a fortune teller, I’m not. My intuition is only a result of the literature and websites that I’ve read by black women before me, and from countless hours studying this and seeing it in real life, I gleaned that because of intersectionality, it means that while other groups continue to move upwards, intersectionality dictates that black women will not be among those who benefit.

I’ve said numerous times that because of gender black women will not be able to benefit from the  civil rights movements or the feminist movement simply because white women continue to benefit from racial privilege and black men continue to have gender privilege.

I always knew that this fact was easily seen and observable  like the phases of the moon.

You may wonder why I’ve decided to even humor “a black man” well I want you, my readers to see how the application of this theory holds in real life.

Let’s look at his first comment.

You see his first comment is his classic attempt to shame me into shutting my mouth. ( He immediately comes out with the “worship white men” “envy” white women” “shame”black man ) trope that’s as overused as pies in faces on badly written comedy show.

https://notyourgirlfriday.wordpress.com/2012/09/09/black-women-shaming-101/      ( I pointed out this type of things in this post)

I want black women to note that when black women step out of line and point out the racism of white women   ( and we all know they have the potential to be)  That then black men like this  have a problem. A big one. Suddenly the laws of fighting against racism don’t exist. I’m jealous.

I also want to point out that its okay for black men like this to fight for black power and not be deemed “jealous or envious of white men because as I said “a black man” has gender privilege  that automatically deems his “pain” his suffering at the hands of “the white man” as the most important. Also note that as I said because of the fact that white women have racial privilege they escape prosecution from their dirty dealings even by black men.

I want to point out that when black women show that black men are just as equal as white men. Then its called worshiping white men.

Remember in “a black mans” world for black men to get their unilateral ideas of “black power” it relies on the idea that black women and black men “unify” against “the white man”. Which means I’m supposed to be angry and pissed all the time and be spooked that they might hurt me. Although I should be alright with the sexism in the black community and sexism by “a black man” himself and men like him.

I should also close my mouth when he aligns with white men at this moment to exert his gender privilege which he thinks grants him the right to dismiss  my unique experience being a black woman who faces gender bias and racial bias because I am a woman.

He is also attempting to use my pointing out the worldview of white women as automatically desirable and how unfair it is as a way to make it seem as if I  somehow don’t like myself and think white women are superior.

See black power ( like feminism) can only work if they have a privilege to keep them equal to white men. In this case “ a black man”  doesn’t  mind strutting his full male privilege and throwing “ envy “  in my face. He also has the privilege of calling out white men who are also men like himself without being called self-hating.   I remember in a post before I said that the gender privilege that black men have and the racial privilege that white women have would be like a gun pointed at the backs of black women. And it’s safe to say that I was right. I also said that that privilege would not be given up. The trigger would be pulled.

I was right about that too. I will finally point out that in the unilateral world of black men, black women are supposed to align with anyone black activists or white feminists decide is the ‘ enemy”  no questions asked. and like I said the shaming will come out in full force. Because in the “ black community”  I’m supposed to be angry at white men while allowing black men and white women to get away Scott free.

Hypocritical but entirely true.

Well I’m not buying that readers.

I will continue to point out intersectionality and how detrimental that can be to black women if they don’t  choose wise alignments.

To “ A black man”  I say thanks for giving my readers real life application of intersectionality theory. But I’ve blocked you. Enjoy your unilateral life.

To my readers I say don’t be deterred. You can’t afford to be. I can’t afford to be. Don’t be shamed.

You deserve  to align with people who have you best interests at heart. Not to accept what other people have a problem with and take the dregs.

Do not let men like this shame you out of speaking out in real life or making your plans.

Keep on keeping on.

As I know I will.

If that means I’m chasing “ slavemaster penis” in the mind of delusiods like him well then, oh well.

His opinion, his existence is just a drop in the world’s bucket.

Until next Time,

Stay Neutral.

Ps. “A  black Man”  has been blocked.  He will not poison this blog which I have set up for black women.

Ah Benevolance! : The Trick Is to Make You Think It’s For Your Own Good When Really You Wind Up As Empty Handed As Before- BWiF 103

I’ve written before that the biggest way to trick black women and get them to support anything was to make them believe that it is somehow benefiting them.

Indeed this is true. When I look at black women who continually support things that have given them no proof that it will ever come back to them I always notice that the independent variable in all of this, is that these women truly and utterly believe, have truly been indoctrinated by very clever foxes, that they are going to benefit.

This is especially true when I look at black women who support the media in all of its f-ery. Whenever the masses of black women realize they’ve been screwed the ultimate response is ‘calm down, I’m doing this for you. You’ll come out on top in the end.”

That is, when black women try and escape the mental hospital that they’ve been involuntarily placed in, they’re immediately subdued by Nurse Ratched, with medications and a strait jacket.

For the ones that really put up a fight they’re lobotomized, old school style, until their mind is a vegetable and they can’t tell which way from the other.

Case in point, apparently some fans of the show tweeted Julie Plec ( the show runner/writer  for the vampire diaries ) a while back about the character to Bonnie being with one of the vampires.

*I should note that I do not watch the show The vampire Diaries, (though I have seen clips of the show) but as a blogger  for black women I make it my business to know what is going on in the world of black women so, I follow many things.

Anywhoo, apparently some fans tweeted Ms. Plec about putting Bonnie with the character (Kol?) or any character romantically.

And this is her, Julie Plec’s response.   I took the liberty (thanks to an Oh NO You Didn’t Article On the matter) posting the entire pic of the twitter exchange below

You see my darlings, this is a classic case of  Nurse Ratched realizing that the patient that she’s been secretly controlling is now getting unruly and temperamental. The black women who she’s been keeping  on a leash for the past four? Years  are suddenly wondering why the character that is supposed to look like them  is single and alone and ( as the fans have described) for all intents and purposes the slave to the other characters on that only use her.

Her response is typical, why up the dosage!

She quickly begins this by of course showing how benevolent she is. Why she’s doing black women everywhere a favor by not giving Bonnie a storyline/ love interest.  Bonnie is strong (notice she throws that grenade at black women.)  and beautiful. So beautiful that nobody equals her and so she should settle for being alone. She’s really complimenting us black women who don’t notice and are too ungrateful for her kindness.

Well I never!

Watch as the conversation progresses and the fans ask her about it, she ups the dosage even further.  She says, “no… with respect.. just no”

See Julie Plec respects the audience. She’s wants us to know that she hears us but she’s truly keeping the “integrity” of bonnie by making her lonely and alone.

But I’m not buying it. I realize this attempt for what it is. She is quickly trying to put angry fans back into the straightjacket before they start a riot and erupt from the halls.

Yes, a la One Flew Over the Cookoos Nest style she has to tamp down on those disturbing ideas black women have to, oh I don’t know, be portrayed as beautiful and desirable.

But this time it isn’t working because I guess some fans came right out and wondered if it was because of her race that the character has been screwed over multiple times in the fandom.  Basically they tried to come right out and say they were being drugged. They suddenly became cognizant.

So what happened? The brute force had to come right out and assisted her in giving black women a lobotomy.

Her henchman, ahem one of the actors, Matt Davis tweeted this.

See the straightjacket and drugs didn’t work. Now they have to have extreme measures. This attempt should probably go into a Black Women Shaming 102 post because that’s what it is.

Now he has to shame the black women who care that the characters that look like them are getting effed continually. (Though he doesn’t note that everyone wants characters that look like them and are represented well otherwise feminists would be happy seeing white men on screen and black men would be happy seeing only white men on screen seeing as they share features.)

In this case the lobotomy is the guilt and shame black women are now facing for “bringing in the race card”

He points out that Jewish people aren’t upset by the character? (Kat Graham is half Jewish)

The point of this is that,  after black women didn’t accept the benevolence “card”  the objective  is to now subdue them BY ANY MEANS NECESSARY. Namely shame. (because black women respond very well to this)

That way they’re such a vegetable after the lobotomy that they don’t know which way is up. They start to doubt. They will (hopefully) start to ask.  “Is this really racist/sexist? Am I just crazy? Am I “playing the race card?” Who knows?  Now the masses of black women are disoriented.

Well played. Matt Davis, Well played.

But I guess the lobotomy didn’t take on me, because I am fully aware of what is going on.  Because this situations plays out so many times in so many situations.

Yes, the f-ery of this situation is enough to make one’s head spin, but let’s keep it moving.


Let’s talk about what I like to call The Iron Man Factor.

Or, “The Blockbuster Factor”

In the Iron Man Factor, I’ve noticed that there have now been many attempts in recent years to give  minorities roles in Super Hero Flicks Such as Iron Man, Avengers , Thor, Etc.

Great new right? You’re probably thinking that this new trend will allow black women to get their own roles, right?

Well, you’d be wrong.

In fact as par for the course, as per usual, All the Women Are White And All the Black Are Men.

While the Don Cheadle’s, Gweyneth Paltrow’s Scartlett Johanson’s and Samuel L. Jackson, have been allowed to expand their use in these new blockbuster films. If you notice, black women have remained largely invisible.

Why am I bringing this up?

Well recently  I went to see the movie ( my family wanted me to) and when talking up the movie one family member mentioned that the movie showed an expanded role for women (ie Pepper Potts saving Tony. I looked blankly at that pronouncement,   simply because I didn’t see how that was relevant to black women, this family member told me it was important because women never get to be the one to save anyone.

So what am I getting at? Well the point is that for the black women part of convincing them, that their “allies” are really benevolent is to convince them that when “they win we all win” theory.

Black women are supposed to think that because Gwyneth Paltrow has a vagina and Samuel L Jackson has brown skin, his success his millions, their roles, their money, their positive images, are really going to help me.

That when Don Cheadle is cast as the best friend. I can jump for joy.

Part of Benevolence is to convince black women that it’s good for me to be in rags while they’ve got riches.

We all know this is not true, but the point of this trick is to get black women to shut up because we secretly believe that they are successful so they can ‘open doors’ for me.

Oh happy days!

The trick is to let black women happily accept it because they think “We’re all in this Together.”

But Like I said in a previous post. This isn’t High School Musical, and the trickle-down theory really ends up bottle-necked with black women having parched throats.

Meanwhile with the Benevolent smoke and mirrors game they end up being the true beneficiaries.

Again, very clever, but I’m not buying it. Because I know that in the end of the trick the image of black women in fandoms never actually changes.

But I will give points for trying.

I have to advise though as I end this post for black women to be on hyper alert as they make buying decisions. Especially that have to do with the media. And ask yourself this.

Are they really in it for me? Or am I just being fed a line so they can benefit?

Until Next Time..


Ps. This Post Is Part of a series.

Next Post:  The Dance Is Over, And You Don’t Owe A Thing : BWiF 104

Previous post:  The Trick Is To MakeYou Think That Everything Has Changed When Really You Haven’t Moved an Inch.

* As always the picture doesn’t belong to me.

The Trick Is To Make You Think That Everything Has Changed, When Really You Haven’t Moved An Inch: BWiF 102

A  reader asked me to take a look at the movie Gone With the Wind and Compare it to a Madea movie. While I simply don’t have the mental toughness to deal with the ENTIRE Gone With the Wind Movie, I was able to catch some clips of it in on Youtube (specifically the scenes with Mammy)

It also helps that I  was thinking of doing a post like this for my BWiF Series and this fits right in.

So thank You Oekmma  for the suggestion.

Let’s get started. ….


Progress. Important to any group of people who want change for the better, it’s that signal that you’ve actually gone somewhere and everyone wants that.

Except for one group of people the idea of progress, of change for the better seems to be  all sizzle and no steak. Because if you look closely, if you take off the blinders, remove yourself from the rhetoric that people keep shooting towards black women, things  have stayed  EXACTLY. THE. SAME. Concerning the images of black women in the media.

When you look at images of black women in movies like Gone With the Wind you probably say to yourself, people would have you believe, “That’s bad but black women have definitely come a loooooong way in the media.”  Other delusional people want you to catch their disease as they convince you that you live now a post racial world.

But let’s take a closer look.

Mammy from Gone With the Wind is a * classic* caricature of black women in the media. She is literally everything that mainstream media loves to present black women as, save for the Jezebel stereotype, though I’m sure that if you looked closely you could probably find a hint of that too. She is the classic asexual, subservient, sassy, overweight, angry,  black woman that many black women have been portrayed as for as long as we can all remember. Hell she is probably the birth of that caricature in modern television.

But while some people like to put her out of their mind, I’m not so quick to forget the influence this character still has on almost all black women on television today.

But why it important to realize this?

Is the question that I’m sure that you want to know.

It is important to realize that black women are being tricked. That black women are really looking into an elaborate hoax with smoke and mirrors.

The point of the media, especially for black women is to reinforce stereotypes without having to change at all. That is, despite popular belief the television is a tool that is used to promote whatever agenda is popular or money making at the time.

For black women that agenda is most of the times unattractive, embarrassing , racist/sexist and everything else in between.

Duh, you’re probably saying to yourself, you were smart enough to realize that. Of course you know that the media has an agenda that harms black women.

But usually I only notice black women jump at things that are extremely overt ( though considering some  black women  that isn’t strictly true) But the thing that also stands  is that the new name of the game is that now the media likes to pretend  that black women are getting something, that progress is being made.

For example look at any character regarding black women in the media, and yes I mean ANY. You may think that the character is “fleshed out” you may think that the circumstances of the character have changed but if you look closely they are exactly the same.

I look at the movie, Precious. So many people  ( black women included) lauded it because it showed the abuse of black women.   And while on the surface that *may* have been true ( although that is debatable) if you look closely the Mammy stereotype born of  Gone With The Wind still haunts that movie.

On a psychological level it subconsciously reinforces the same thing. That black women are overweight, greasy, unintelligent, angry, abusive( in the case of the mother)  abuse victims, women that can’t fully enjoy life because they are too busy trying to escape their lot.

Further what should be the characters moment of truth when she leaves her mother doesn’t actually show much triumph when you think about it.

It actually creates more questions than it solves.

In the end of the movie we see her walking away from her mother and down the street.

Yet what happens after. Yes she gets her GED. But big whoop. Here is child with severe mental issues who has been raped ( some of it incestuously),abused, treated like crap, and has two children.

But the movie shows no flash forward to the years later showing her successful. Does it?

They don’t show her getting therapy. They don’t show her mother in prison. They don’t show her children getting a good education. They don’t show her in college, with a high paying job. Nothing.

Now you may say, well they  “alluded” to her getting her GED.

And yet we don’t know what will happen after that and that’s the point.

The point of the media is to show a bit of upliftment  so as the masses of movie goers don’t get angry while still keeping the reinforcement.

Whatever happens to Mammy… ahem.. Precious off screen is just that off screen. Because her triumphs are not actually necessary to show. That wasn’t the intent. The intent was to show black women in the worst way possible.

*Similar to the Pavlov’s dog experiment in psychology the point wasn’t to give dogs food more like to condition them to respond to a bell. Similar the point of the movies is not to uplift but to get black women to go to movies meanwhile conditioning them to believe the imagery and respond accordingly in real life.  Psychologically speaking some might consider this classic conditioning. Sooner or later black women won’t even need the food ( aka the tiny bit of happiness in the movie) to shell out their money.

Like Mammy in Gone With the Wind we never know what her true hopes and dreams are. hell we don’t even know her name. We never see her except in the context of the Scarlett O Hara(?) character. We are allowed to see Precious learn to read ( which isn’t a great feat nowadays because that won’t be the only thing to get you a job or out  of the ghetto)

We don’t get to see her in a foster family or really anything during the movie besides her suffering reinforcing the stereotype that black women live dark, dank, dreary lives that nobody can ever rescue them from.

It was just enough to keep people from getting up in their seats without giving any true happiness. meanwhile conditioning and taking money.

Target hit media, target hit.

If you want another example of this look at the movie Beasts of the Southern Wild.  That movie also did what it intended to do. Reinforcing the stereotype of black women and girls, as rough and tough black women who in the end didn’t actually get any help and who suffer abuse while living in poverty. Meanwhile walking around with their hair disheveled (and note that they made sure to show her natural hair in a messy disheveled state. And this isn’t a knock on natural hair because I am natural myself) but they made sure to show her as much of a mess as possible.

Also not that in this movie they made sure that they cut off the movie before they actually showed her getting help similar to precious.  But they had plenty of time to show her say she was  “da man” and flexing her non existent muscles.

I also think it was telling that this book was written with a boy (white) in it. ( If I’m not mistaken) and notice how they switched her to a black girl but had her still behaving like one.

Reinforcing the non delicate, masculine ultimately mammy stereotype of the strong black female. And yes I use the word female instead of “Girl’ “lady” “Woman” etc because the media makes sure to distance themselves from that.

No this movie spent just enough time showing her in squalor (for some reason people find poverty inspring and not sad)  without showing her truly get help. Ie not live in a dump etc.   Who truly have to help themselves and keep a stiff upper lip.

The mammy stereotype from GWTW  was just reinforced in a more adorable package but it was still there none the less.


Of course black women don’t realize they’re pretty much buying into the same stereotypes birthed in Gone with the Wind. The pretty packaging, the rhetoric the push  to believe that this is reality provides a strong defense.

Look at movies Like Madea.

Madea is pretty much, almost 100% the same exact version of Mammy from GWTW.

In fact if you want to compare side by side, both are unattractive, angry, sassy,  and overly concerned with the lives of others.

And similar to Mammy once you finish watching any Madea movie you know virtually nothing about Madea herself. What her life was like. What she likes / dislikes ( besides disrespect because of course all black women are concerned with disrespect)  what makes her tick.

Because that isn’t the point of the movie that  is ironically named after her. The point of the movie like Mammy in GWTW   is to show black women being the most, masculine unattractive version of themselves  without changing the status quo. So they can easily shut the movie off before they ever get to her character or ask why she acts the way she does.

But as I was saying the promotions/ the rhetoric is a strong. The “force” is with PR campaigns like this.  They have plenty of excuses,  they claim that Mammy was historically correct in GWTW, just like they claim that Black women like Madea actually exist *somewhere* though I’ve never seen any grandmother  drive their car into a fast food joint.

The claim that this is groundbreaking, that black women are receiving roles, though ironically a MAN gets to portray black WOMEN as HE sees fit.

I guess Mammy was groundbreaking because the actress won the first Oscar for black women. And it’s telling that it was a role that pretty much ruined  the image of black women then and now. And its also telling that for all the groundbreaking she had to sit a separate table at the Oscars because she was black.

So there’s that.

They also add a bit of humor so you mistakenly walk away feeling good without realizing you got effed. Or they throw in some ambiguous scene that they can say see they “prevailed in the end” though if you look closely they really don’t.

The protection is that these movies are providing something new, providing a cornucopia of different roles for black women from “all walks of life.” And really they still have the same function.

Really that’s the point.

Similar to a virus or a disease, it’s function is to get into the immune system shut down the white blood cells that would attack it by posing as one of them ( while ruining black women from the inside out)

Of course black women don’t realize that they’re being poisoned, hell they probably think they’re in greater shape than ever.

And for the black women who have a better immune system and call it out, well no one is going to listen,  because nobody can see what’s wrong.

I was recently on a certain feminist website ( I won’t link and I won’t name but if you can guess good for you)

And there was an interview by the woman who plays the stereotypical Donna on Parks and Recreation.

Funnily enough the commenters  talked about how much they loved her and wanted her to be their BFF. (yes someone really said that)

Because nothing says BFF like a sassy black woman.

Black women take this sort of perception with open arms.

They seem to think that their  it is progress if audiences  like the black female character. They think they’re breaking grounds. That black women are being given actual roles and not only being accepted because they are a comfortable mammy figure that white women can identify with.

Think I’m lying I want to point out a comment on a YouTube clip of GWTW

 It shows they have a relationship of love and understanding. Scarlett respects her love for Mammy and Mammy loves Scarlett because she reminds her of Scarlet´s mother beauty that none of the other sisters had. Scarlett is 16 and she is spoiled and very modern for that time when girls were supposed to be just porcelain vases to admire. Scarlett wants to save her land because of what her father always said to her. Its a nice movie and very complex if u read the book there is more to it than this.

See this movie likes to pretend that there is some sort of complex character behind Mammy, that her relationship with Scarlett is Good and Nice and fleshed out. That black women are winning because of it. Meanwhile in actuality this character reinforces two things. The popular idea of black women as mammy’s themselves, the idea that black women’s existence is wrapped up in that of white women and it does it all while safely keeping black women in the same box.

What I could also LOL at is that this commenter blindly talks about “women being porcelain vases” but I guess he doesn’t consider Mammy a woman, because she is not a porcelain vase nor is she someone that anyone could or would want to  admire. The disease has truly taken hold because he doesn’t even consider  Mammy a woman who is nothing like, lives nothing like  the woman he is claiming do.

The disease is taking firm hold. Not only do black women think it’s harmless, but people think it portrays healthy love for black women. Meanwhile in real life its firmly taken hold as white women want now want their very own Donna to be the Mammy to their Scarlett.

We’re definitely in trouble.

Indeed this silent but deadly disease has honestly tricked black women and pulled the wool over our eyes.

Not only is it giving black women  false promises and lies of change but black women are having their lives ruined while shelling out millions of dollars of year.

And by the time black women figure this out it may just be too late for an antidote

But this author is immune.

And she’s warning you all to take a good look at what you support and ask yourself i f what you’re watching is truly ground breaking is it just a Mammy in a better costume.

Until Next Time,

Stay Neutral

Ps.  This was post was part of a series.

Previous post in series: Black Women in Fandoms 101: Identification & Characterization

Next Post in Series : Ah Benevolence :  The Trick Is To Make You Think It’s For Your Own Good,  All The While Screwing You OVER.  BWiF 103

Note, the picture does not belong to me.

Smile When You Say That: The Woman Edition

Admit it, you #FAILED.

Seriously. It’s time to put down the armor and accept what many women have known since the 80’s. The feminist movement, got derailed, lost its way, got distracted, whatever you want to call it. But I think it’s time to give up the ghost.

Similar to the Vietnam war that was dragged, out it’s time to admit that women… Failed.

I’m sure you’re thinking that’s a bit harsh. But I don’t mind being the one to incur that wrath of said women who aren’t willing to admit that the new age feminist movement is an #EPICFAIL.

I won’t lie the first women’s rights activists had their head in the right place. (Although I won’t even point out the racism in that first generation wave of feminists.) But those women wanted equality and the got it.

This generation of feminists?… Meh.  Not so much.


Let’s stop pretending that the past few generations of feminists who’ve been so concerned about “free love” between “consenting adults” and “sex positivism” are holding down the fort. There is no fort! The fort is really just a cheap tent blew away in the midst of all the stupidity.

What am I *whining* about this time and what made me tell feminists to give up their Call to Arms?

Well I was recently reading the news about a young woman named Mackenzie Rosman. If the name sounds familiar (or doesn’t) this woman used to play Ruthie Camden, on 7th Heaven the show.  By now, Mackenzie Rosman is probably 23 or so. But that’s not why she made the news. Of course in the usual turn of events that women don’t even realize the only way women make the news is when they’re naked as the day they were born.

You see Mackenzie Rosman had an article about how much she’d grown up, because she’s decided to pose for Maxim Magazine.  Of course there were plenty of women, (and men who like barely dressed women) to congratulate the young women for what a “long way” she’s come.

As I read the comments on the yahoo article (granted there were those who disapproved) the comments from the people who thought it was acceptable, and the support and even push of this by women who consider themselves “feminists,” “womanists” whatever the name du jour is, It hit me with a ton of bricks….

Women Failed.

If the definition of  “coming a long way”, If the focal point of the modern movement is being able to get naked; when ripping off your clothes is a privilege or sign of status or a turning point or a career aspiration for women…


Honestly. I’ve said a million times that this is the epiciest, of epically epic fails that women have ever created.

Think about it.  The entire logic behind doing crap like this is that that “consenting adults” should be able to “do whatever they want as long as they’re not hurting anyone.”

I don’t know if women ever realized this but women were always able to take off their clothing! People have been doing that since the beginning of time!
SO…. it is the biggest feminist fail of all time when you think that it means something because you can have casual sex, or work as a prostitute and think its empowering.  It isn’t called the oldest profession in the world for no reason….
And speaking on this subject let’s talk about the irony of the feminist world touting such careers as empowering. I find it a particular feminist fail that the things that women find empowering are what men have always enjoyed women doing and created themselves/benefited the most from.  Do you understand?  These women think that it is somehow empowering to take off their clothing which is what men have never complained about.
Even more telling is that while women have changed themselves completely, men haven’t changed. In all of the “empowering” men still basically have done the same things that they always did. Well except now they can admit that they watch pornography, pump and dump, and visit strippers without fear of being shunned.
But I’d like to point out the obvious flaw that I keep noticing. MEN are never the ones to take off their clothes. While the number of female strippers/ porn stars may have grown exponentially since the feminist movement began. The numbers of men have not increased. Further if you step outside of the porn/ stripper movement where you see that the majority of strippers are women, If you look at the “entertainment” industry you’ll see that women are STILL the only people taking off their clothes to be “empowered.”  MEN do not christen their career by stripping down in videos.

Sure, the movie “Magic Mike” came out last year. But Matthew McConaughey already had a career where he didn’t have to take his clothes off for money. And I certainly never heard them tout it as EMPOWERING.
See women have convinced themselves that they have empowered themselves, when really the status quo has not changed. AT ALL.  Well, something has changed, now women have been convinced that they LIKE it.
Bad on you, feminism bad on you.
But I don’t want to bore you talking about the sex fails within the feminist world. Let’s talk about the blatant racism that after 100 years the feminist community has yet to tackle, notice, or care about. And if they did they pushed it aside.
Let’s talk about yet and more importantly, GROWING and MORE OBVIOUS racism. And if it’s not racism its feigned stupidity and foolishness that 10+  years had done nothing to fix.

Let’s talk about an article in Jezebel on the fact that a large majority of women in Nigeria (supposedly) use skin whitening cream. Let’s talk about the feigned concern from the white women on there that couldn’t seem to fathom the fact that black women who bleached their skin and even Asian women in Asian countries do it because the standard of beauty around the world is WHITE WOMEN. Of course to admit this white women feminists would have to admit that they are *actually* better off than their black “sisters”. That would mean that they would have to feel guilty. What I read was a bunch of comments from women poo poohing that all women had to adhere to standards as they tried to say that it was the same as white women had to tan to be accepted.
But as one poor soul pointed out they didn’t seem to get the difference and how inappropriate that it was to compare it. Funny because these are the same women who would (rightfully) get mad if a man tried to compare SAFE male circumcision to the removing of a female’s clitoris or sewing of the vagina.
Nobody told these women in all of their “I wish that women didn’t have adhere to beauty standards that I’m too dumb to realize that I benefit from and uphold”  that they sounded like navel gazing butt-heads.

But let’s not stop there.

Let’s also talk about the ten year old response FINALLY to Tyler Perry and their delayed response to the abuse black women have been incurring and complaining about since day ONE when Tyler Perry first exploded on the scene. NOW white feminists have realized that they have a problem with Tyler Perry’s rapey saming/blaming misogynistic filled film. ( which if we all no Tyler Perry is par for the usual course) . I wish I could say that they finally pulled their head out of their butt or had some religious epiphany that showed them how selfish that they really were. More like the Steubenville case has them on hyper alert and they realized this would be good to use in the their fight.
Because Rick Ross would still be making music if it weren’t for Steubenville.
In 100+ years white women feminists still have not learned that it is shitty to use black women as a tool for their own ends and then discard them afterwards.
Speaking of self serving, Let’s talk about the recent events of Barack Obama calling some (black) woman cute and the feminist backlash.

BettyChambers has written a very good article


with a thesis on why these women chose something as simple as being called cute to call out but don’t mind letting all manner of evil against black women slip by their heads any other time. She has a theory and it’s not pretty.

I think one commenter pointed out something even more amazing on the article she asked the question


 What I find so interesting (read revealing) is the notion to step up and defend/protect a Black woman when she’s referred to with a term that pretty much carries a positive connotation, but when we’re referred to as b-words, ho’s, sluts or a 9 yr. old little Black girl is called the c-word, it’s “nothing to see here/” radio silence from the feminist collective. Very interesting indeed.

This commenter is correct indeed. When a little black girl got called a CUNT by media feminists were among some of the ONLY people defending or downplaying it.  Then when a black women get’s complemented and called beautiful white feminists practically burn down the White House before they get the president Obama to apologize.

Que Pasa?

Why do feminists have a problem with this. Isn’t it as empowering as calling a child a CUNT. The blatant racism in this outrage is telling and teeth grindingly obvious. They didn’t get the point of the white tennis player mocking Serena Williams body could be construed as offensive when throughout history ( think of Sara Baartman) black women’s bodies have been reduced to a JOKE. Hell this white woman mocking Serana Wiliams’  “ass and titties” didn’t even realize in all of her privilege that there is a song ABOUT black women with the lyrics ‘ass and titties, and big booty bitches.”

These women don’t even realize their own blunders.

But nobody would dare speak on the hypocrisy. They couldn’t use defending Q Wallis  (and certainly not Serena Williams)  to their end so they don’t care. But now that they can use this women being called beautiful or more particularly they revolt at the idea, now pick up the war gear.
Not going to happen on this front. Call me when they start caring about young girls being called CUNT.  But that won’t happen because while things like that happen they’re to busy getting mad that Seth Macfarlane joked about seeing Anne Hathaway’s boobs.
I guess similar to the Oscar’s  situation these feminists only go where the attention will be.
How Sad.
But I couldn’t even begin to discuss, would probably write a dissertation on how telling it is that white women feminists had a problem with compliments to black women but not  a blatant and undeniable INSULT….
Very telling indeed.

What’s also very telling is the still renewed (did it ever go away) outrage at Beyonce who has again claimed that she is a feminist. As before they believe that Beyonce is too slutty and sexual to be a feminist.  The hypocrisy on this front is still alive and well.

Like I said before any many other posts on this subject. It takes someone very special, very WHITE to sleep with as many men as possible and laud casual sex and demeaning behavior and call themselves feminist (ahem Carrie Bradshaw, ahem, Lena dunham, ahem Lady Gaga.) but Beyonce with her black skin and her blonde weave can’t join in on all the stupidity.
And I don’t like/support/ buy Beyonce’s products but the underlying racism that I’ve pointed out is yet another obvious #FAIL.

But what’s even more of a fail is the willingness to throw away feminist cards on something so stupid.
It shows exactly where priorities are in the feminist community and has me taking 50 paces away.

The relevance of celebrities within a movement is actually a sign of its weakness.  As TheLastPsychologist said in one post (that I can’t remember or I would link), the fact that feminism is “mainstream” is in itself the failure.

Because it’s been “watered down” it’s been stripped of its core to the Girls/ Sex and The City watching women.  As that author said, it’s a product to use to get women to buy movies/ tv shows.

The “celebrities” involved in movements can’t be helpful simply because most actresses/ actors/ singers/ etc will only do what is  popular, what will get them fame,  more viewers/ listeners, and more MONEY.

SO debating Beyonce and her place in feminism is a moot point because the fact that we’re discussing her at is a symptom and signal that FEMINISM is dead.

The conversation is rendered useless.

It always will be when You let celebrities and mass media into a movement.

But that’s the whole tragic point and the reason why Feminism is the #epicallyepicFAIL that is today.
Most women (white and black) will listen to ANYONE who claims to be a feminist. It’s quite simple really to pull the wool over most women in the feminist movement’s eyes.

You really only have to say the same buzz words.  “pro choice” ” sex positive”  “consenting adults”  “non judgemental” and not only will feminists welcome you with open arms they’ll plummet right over a cliff trying to do it.

Hell most women, who have been trained to perk up at these buzz words, show everyday that critical thinking is NOT alive and well.

I think about the recent lift on the ban for women to be in the military, and of course most women (black and white) were so impressed that they would be able serve with their male comrades.

And yet I wasn’t so impressed because I couldn’t help but think, why now?( I will post an entire post very soon on black women joining the military because I think there is some vital information for black women to know concerning  this very topic.)
Why when there are plenty of signals that sexism is alive and well? Why considering the STILL huge problem of rape in the military would they suddenly allow women to be in the military?

At the time I had no answers. But I knew that sexists don’t suddenly CARE for no good reason.

And the a few things occurred to me.  1.  Considering the fact that US is in numerous different wars and is in tenuous situations with Iran, it could this lift could simply because they want more bodies.

2. It also occurred to me that if they do this and then decide to lift the ban on the draft, they will most likely draft women too.  Because they are now allowed into combat.

3. Someone else pointed this out ( and I will go into this fully in my military post)  The fastest growing segment of women in the military are not white women feminists who want to pull a GI Jane. No, the fastest growing segment of women in the military are BLACK WOMEN. In fact the numbers are quite skewed considering the population of black women in the US.

But of course feminists, ( especially black women) never consider critically thinking. Similar to a google search that only comes up with certain hits when  they hear words ( search terms) like “hand to hand combat” “Sexism” “Capable.” “BAN LIFTED”  all they compute in their simplistic minds is “must be feminism.” or “women are REALLY kicking ass against sexism”

In reality these same women who would allow someone to cut their breaks and then drive straight off a cliff if it meant proving that they had as much free choice as the men who just careened off before them. What’s worse  they don’t see the disaster this will lead to for women, who are specifically black.( who don’t have a mattress [aka race privilege] to land on when they go over)  and who ironically have the hardest time in the military.

But to tell a feminist any of this and they become SAD  PANDA who can’t really realize why everyone has it out for women and their rights  or why everyone is waging a war against women when really they are committing the crimes against humanity on themselves with supporting poor choices based simply on the puffed up rhetoric that surrounds/ and hides the true results of these conversations.

More’s the pity.

It’s actually quite sad. Or it would be if I didn’t recognize the privilege involved to even make such stupid, asinine decisions.   I pointed out in my black women edition that black women would support their own stupidity and secretly wonder why everyone trampled them.

And I have to say that feminists will do the same thing. Except unlike black women, feminists will allow themselves to be trampled and bamboozled and skin and grin the entire time, Meanwhile convincing themselves that they’ve come to the conclusion themselves. And mistakenly believe that their impervious to harm.

How’s that for empowering.?

Until Next Time.

Ps. This is part of Series previous edition:  The Black Women Edition

Note image above, while adorable does not belong to me.