Note: This is the final part of the series that I was writing before.
I will be moving on to another mini series (not the one I mentioned in my announcements post) very soon.
Anyone who has spent any time in the feminist community has heard the claims that feminism grants choices to be “whatever you want to be” and while that is true to a certain extent and for certain “feminist approved things” I’ve also noticed that this only works for people who happen to fall into the “acceptable” categories.
As with many women who have spent time listening to the feminist community you’re probably noticed that many women have a problem with “femininity”, of course if you strain yourself even further you’ll find that this strict adherence of code to disassociate with anything that happens to be feminine, is even stricter for women who are black.
But don’t you think you’re exaggerating?
No I don’t think I’m exaggerating in fact if you look at anything you will see that while feminism certainly upholds the idea of disregarding “traditional “beauty standards or not forcing women to be “feminine” I’ve noticed that in most of this usually only applies to black women.
I’ve talked about this in my post earlier in the series, “they won’t be happy until they strip you of everything.”
And I noted a trend where “empowered women discuss how great it is to be “nontraditional” but that is only an ideal and NOT actually reality. In fact when given the choice most women choose to be feminine. When they watch television, read a blog or anything else, most of the role models of these women are women that are extremely traditional in their behavior.
And these same feminists somehow manage to give a rundown of why these women are still “empowering” and “pro feminist”
And that is their choice right?
Except that for all the choices the only times I see these same feminine behaviors pushed away, whenever I see feminists get angry, You CAN BET your last dollar that the woman involved was probably black.
See the article I was mentioning where I noted that many women who watched the show Person of Interest had a problem with Taraji P Henson’s (a black woman) character crying at the idea of losing her friend.
Yes faced with the idea of losing a person that (in Henson’s own words the character “loved as a friend”) People still thought her reaction was.just.too much…
Because we all know black women are ghouls who don’t have the ability to be sensitive, amiright?
And yet I’ve noticed that these same calls to masculinize black women in character and in real life is never carried out by themselves. I’ve noticed that these same people LOVE traditionally Feminine white characters who are in no way “feminist”. But further, and more important I’ve realized that black women who actually adhere to the strong, masculine, non-feminine idea are being played better than a fiddler on a roof.
Because while black women are being castigated for roles that are feminine, while black women are screaming to the top of the world that they are independent and don’t have to dress any way or act ANY way to be feminine, and while white feminists are nodding along to this idiocy….
The image of white women and white feminists as being the standard for beauty hasn’t changed AT ALL. And I mean AT ALL.
What do I mean? I mean no matter how many mothers of Honey Boo Boo you see, no matter how masculine white women may behave in real life, their image in the media and in the real life still stays as that of women who are MOST feminine simply by being WHITE.
You see in a thing I like to call, THE GREATEST GAME EVER PLAYED black women were tricked into giving up the idea of being seen as feminine even though while white women may have done so (although not to the same extreme) black women’s image was the only thing that took that HIT.
Because black women are black.
Think about it, since the 70’s when feminism really took off, has the image of white women being held up as the standard of beauty changed? Are they seen as any less feminine?
I don’t think so.
But since white privilege doesn’t extend to BLACK women, our image ended up taking the hit.
Well played, feminism well played.
But what is the most shocking isn’t that black women YET AGAIN got screwed by intersectionality. NO the biggest most telling thing is the response from other women when they do things that are “feminine.”
Suddenly it’s a problem. Suddenly it’s everyone’s issue.
Because in the world of feminism and intersectionality black women aren’t allowed to try to be something that white women are inherently thought of having regardless of action behavior or thought. Black women crying, black women playing the damsel in distress, black women wanting to be stay at home moms, like Michelle Obama commented, black women doing anything that doesn’t mean them knighting themselves out for the feminist cause without getting the benefit means that the mule is gone. And that creates a problem because then white women have to DO THE WORK AND LOOK TERRIBLE THEMSLEVES.
And we can’t have that happen can we?
No we need Detective Carters to be “one of the guys” and take care of the masculine roles ( and take on the suicide mission it becomes) so that the feminists can enjoy the Hunger Game, and Sex and the city.
For black women who claim that feminism is granting them the right to be feminine if they want and they just CHOOSE not to be, why don’t you tell me, when was the last time you saw a white woman on television, or even in real life, refuse to adhere to feminine beauty standards or television roles that DON’T paint them as a damsel in distress/ raving beauty?
Can’t answer that?
Well then answer me when was the last time you saw black women being extended the choice to be able to play a woman that isn’t a mammy mule or unattractive masculine woman. When was the last time someone was HAPPY for a black woman who got the attractive, sexy role? And not angry at them for not doing what feminists told them to?
Can’t answer that can you?
We’ll how’s that for choice?
Note this post is part of a series. This is the final post
Why wouldn’t You Want to Be Feminine?