Three things to note… 1) I said before I was writing a series but I’m deviating a bit because I write about current events that are relative to black women. So this post won’t be the post that I said I was coming out with next in the series. (I will publish later this week)
2) This is a long post. There are many things that I am going to discuss in the post. So.. just warning you.
3) This post will be labeled in three sections. Feel free to read whichever one you want first.
I. Women have created their entire lives around ideology. I see this all the time. Too many women are getting caught up in an ideology that almost never matches up in real life.
Case in point many people are angry that Marissa Mayer Yahoo CEO has decided to get rid of jobs that allow workers to commute. Many have complained that this doesn’t allow women workers to be any leeway and many working mothers depend on these jobs. In fact these women have said that she is not helping women by doing this. Actually I’m not disputing this fact. I can’t say I don’t agree with the fact that that’s pretty sucky. And yet what I can’t help but notice is that these women have planned their entire lives around the feminist ideology that women should be able to be working moms.
I’m not saying that women shouldn’t want to work and be able to be a mom. But I’m always surprised at the women who feel that because an ideology has told them they should be able to they don’t plan logically. I see it all the time. Further too many women (especially black women) make their choices based on feminisms ideology despite all the rest of the signs that it’s not going to help and signs that feminism is on its last leg.
For example for all of the people “surprised” that Marissa Mayer did this, these same people only months ago were angry because this women is not even SELF IDENTIFIED as a feminist! This women never claimed she wanted to help ALL women. This woman never made any promises NOT to screw women over. And yet plenty of people who have set up their entire lives around not having to commute and not having any second plans should that go wrong are now wondering what they’re going to do. They’ve based their decisions on the fact that they should do it not the fact that they can.
When else do I see this happening? I see this happening women make choices about very personal things whose decisions shouldn’t be based on ideology. For example I see many women abandon common sense behavior for ideology. Things like “men shouldn’t rape.” And they, with that ideology they do things like get knock down drunk, or go to wild parties and assume that everything is going to be alright. Because they’re a woman and feminist and “rapists shouldn’t rape”
I don’t want this to come off as victim blaming either. But I keep seeing women getting their hearts broken when everything goes wrong. For example I remember popular Youtuber Chescalocs had a video a few months back about how she was raped at a party. Her horrific story included how her drink was drugged and she was raped and she didn’t remember anything. Even worse her so called “friend” a fellow woman saw it happening didn’t do ANYTHING and later smeared her name.
Women constantly hear horrific stories about stuff like this. The Stubenville rape case is another example of a woman taken advantage of while drunk at a party and the events were videotaped. And yet not enough women take these events into account when they decide their future actions.
These are women that MuslimBushido describes as Marie Antoinettes and Special Snowflakes
Much like the historical Marie Antoinette, modern-day BF Marie Antoinettes and Special Snowflakes don’t pay any attention to the prevailing conditions that surround them. They don’t pay attention because Marie Antoinettes and Special Snowflakes are too invested in believing that anything that affects other BW can’t possibly affect them. Because these women think they’re above it all. Even while the number of physical fatalities and spirit-murders suffered by other AA women and girls keeps increasing.
I think that this could describe modern feminists. Who absolutely will NOT listen to the pain and suffering that other women have gone through. For example based of the fact that obviously all the creeps, rapists, and perverts seem to targeting college aged women at parties when they’re too drunk to think straight or they get them too drunk to think straight I wouldn’t go anywhere near a party filled with unknown people, booze, and drunk men.
It’s just not safe.
And yet plenty of women continue to go to these crazed areas and becoming potential targets.
Who are your friends?
This is the question that a lot of women think that they have answered. Some women keeping making their alignments and putting their physical, mental and emotional help in the hands of their friends, or at the very least they think their “friends” are. Thinking they are going to help them out when these “friends” and alignments have done NOTHING that should make them think that.
For example Marissa Mayer who never identified or claimed is now fending off masses of angry feminists who are now upset because of her decision. What I don’t get is why this woman who has said before that she doesn’t consider herself a feminist are surprised that she put her company first? Second, and this is why I’m shocked, is that some women think that their f it was a feminist in charge those events would never happen. I have to be honest. Most people feminist or not would probably do the same thing. Because it always come down to money. People always choose the bottom line. I’ve said before that concerning blacks that “each black person’s achievement is not their own”
And I think women have yet to catch on. Just because someone has a vagina does not mean they are going to have your best interests at heart.And just because she has a vagina and is successful does not mean all women are now successful or will be successful.
My point about fiends?
One blogger brings up a good point concerning the Stubenville rape case and feminism :
“What’s amazing/obvious is how after 25 years of Diane Sawyer and makeup debates, not one other girl at this party came to the victim’s aid; not one girl saw what was happening at the party and simultaneously called 911 and Facetimed the crime; not one girl called all the women she knew and brought the wrath of Athena down on that town. Nope. Nothing.
Her “Friends”, Her fellow feminists did NOTHING. In both cases. In fact not only did Chescaloc’s “friend” see her struggling and NOT help her, She smeared her name afterwards. This is why I say that women simply must use common sense instead of living ideas because when it actually comes down to the wire I never see those drills and preps ever play out the right way. Instead I just see more and more women being victimized.
But back to what I was saying. Black women keep aligning themselves with people who have proven not to care or don’t want to care.( I recently read about a AA man who went around purposely infecting people he slept with with HIV) more than two hundred men and women! and yet when things like this happen people still like to pretend everything is a-okay instead of being safe!
Living ideology (faulty ones like feminism will one day pay off, rapists shouldn’t rape, casual sex won’t be a disaster) over reality and doing what they need to do to be safe is going to have a lot of black women raped hurt, raped, attacked, have std’s etc.
Muslim Bushido wrote about this.
I didn’t want to write about this but I don’t like when people make assertions that could potentially harm black women. So on a website that infrequently visit ( I won’t post the article because I don’t want the ping back or the crowd) A black woman has posted a video of a racist white man calling a group of black women a Ni**er and then spitting on them. He also slaps one of the women? (Idk I didn’t watch the video) In the video though, she also noted that there were a bunch of white men around that did nothing to help the women.
Her conclusion was this. ( i bolded what stood out to me.) If you want to read her post I won’t link but i’m sure you can enter the text into google.
[but] it’s a disservice to believe that white men care about Black women (in general) and it’s also foolish to believe that they would stand with us more so than Black men when ish hits the fan.
Most white men probably would not.
Most white men may not have acted like the man who was cursing and attacking the woman, but I have a feeling most would probably sit idly by…maybe someone might call 911, but that’s really it.
So there is no point in attacking Black men and acting like all white men care about us. People are individuals…for every Black man bashing a Black woman on YouTube, you can find ten white men bashing Black women all over the internet.
Now, my point isn’t to defend or excuse this obvious racist abuser or the tools who sat by and idly watched them be attacked. I’m only bringing this up AT ALL because too many times is see the acting black crew using instances like this as guiltier, humiliaters, or “proof” for why black women should now bend and gap for black men.
If you want to call out racists… by all means. The entire video is highly disturbing. But please let’s not use this as an example, or more importantly a red herring to distract us from the abuse we are also likely to face in the “black community”. Arguments like this are always the same which is basically “see how abusive white men are? They don’t care about you! BLACK MEN DO!”
And yet when conversations like this always work to keep black women from speaking out because they think “It aint no better out there”. I’m going to have to call BS. Not on the entire racist video…. Those men need to crawl in a deep dark hole and die. No I’m calling bullshit on the fact that black women like this, the guarders of all things dark and lovely think that Abuses is any less abuse because a black penis is attached.
They use videos like this to say. See white men are worse. Ultimately it’s a red herring to talk about racist white men in the world and forget about videos like the one above. I wonder if this women would talk about the black men in the video who stood by while this woman got stomped. They didn’t call the cops, didn’t help (actually helped the boy hurt her) and the response from the distorted black community to videos like this has been to say she deserved it. He still kept his record deal though. And Russel Simmons told him he’d be admonished privately. Talk about justice. For her to use this shitty incident to prove that black men have been helping black women is a pure lie.
Also to claim that the majority of bashers of black women are men of other races is a glaring, despicable lie. And I won’t let garbage like that be traipsed around like the truth. Her claims that there are ten videos of white men bashing black men for every ONE black man is also laughable. Considering the recent “celebrities” who have taken to every media source around to say how much they HATE HATE HATE black women. Oh and lets not forget the rap culture that has been permeating and poisoning black America for the past three decades that has been created and maintained by you guessed it, black males.
Further I’d also like to point out her shaming words used on black women. Who she claims “worship” white men. And of course black women are “attacking black men”. I have to say that I hate women like her. Instead of talking about how violence against black women is ignored by ALL people ( black, white, man, or woman) she turns this into a way to ignore the abuse ( because it’s not abuse if a black peen is doing it) that black men have done to black women, diminish it, ultimately silencing black women and guilting them to go back to their biggest abusers. Because to point out that black men can be abusive when there are videos like this is “hypocritical”.
In her post she asks were was the outrage. Good question.
Where is the outrage at this? Where was the outrage when black women are smeared by rap, where is the outrage when little reese stomped that girl (ironically more white people were upset than black people who took to victim blaming and saying she deserved it) It’s been silent on all fronts for too long. And ultimately she contributed. She turned what could have been a chance to talk about abuse, as a way to shame and abuse herself. turning the conversation from the victim to the perpetrators and menial debates about “white men worshiping’ and lies about “black men having our back”
SHAME ON HER!
People like this always use example of bad behavior to excuse other bad behavior. On the website ForHarriet a woman wrote an article about feminists who in a documentary overlooked women of color. She was crying how feminists must recognize interesectionality. And the only thing one of the commenters could say was this.
I really appreciate this critique. As a Mexican-American, queer, white, and Christian feminist, intersectionality comes easy to me (I don’t have a choice!) It is disheartening to me how often the feminist movement is portrayed as one waged by and for white women, especially middle class white women. In reality, feminism is for all of us, and it has historically been accomplished by all of us. I believe it is a divide-and-conquer strategy of the enemy to make it seem like a white women’s movement. Ms. Camara, you hit the nail on the head when you say the documentary should have been more inclusive. We can’t make progress as women until we’re all working together. And for the patriarchists, that will be a scary day
Aside from my ahem.. disbelief that this “WomanofColor” truly gets what it means to be a black women. I have to ask…. Who is the “enemy”? Men? White men? Black Men? I also find it offensive that this women has yet again excused the blatant erasure by white women of black women as “the enemy”. Similar to how the black community blames all it’s problems on “the enemy” or the white man and keeps black women thus spooked and joined at the hip with their abusers who have been excused I’m seeing the exact same thing play out. Black women can once again forget that this mess has been happening for centuries in the feminist community, blame the “enemy” or again white men and in turn get back to the trenches of working for no pay and no benefits.
This blogger isn’t buying it.
Further I have question to postulate to you…. Have you noticed that whenever black women point out the flaws in systems that weren’t beneficial and begin leaving in droves suddenly people come out of the woodwork saying that it’s all a conspiracy that the enemy wants us to fail. There was an article about black women and domestic abuse once. The commenters responded saying basically that it was all a conspiracy to divide and conquer.
I don’t think so.
You can’t divide what is already ripped apart. But you CAN use lines like “enemy” and “conspiracy” to keep black women from moving and ultimately from pulling their resources.
Let’s call a spade a spade. Two movements that were *supposed* to help DIDN’T. Largely because the “leaders” didn’t CARE. Not because of white men. Not because of racism. Not because of sexism. Because they DIDN’T CARE. Call an ace and ace and allow black women to MOVE ON. Or further I won’t even wait for that day to come ( it won’t ). I’m just going to ignore you and keep going towards the exits.
And speaking of exits….
III. It goes back to what I was saying about black women who keep aligning themselves with people who have proven not to care or don’t want to care. Living ideology (faulty ones) over reality and doing what they need to do to be happy. Muslim Bushido wrote about this.
Further conversations about begging white feminists to love black women is ultimately what Halima calls a “conversation loop” meaning that black women are basically spending their time on conversations that have been brought up before and yet nothing ever changes. Except black women lose their time, money, resources, to those movements instead of just walking away.
See the aim here is not to somehow find a solution or bring about dialogue, it is about keeping black women occupied in fruitless concerns so they dont move on or off with their lives. Indeed most of these male editors are sitting on necessary conversations and ideas just to keep the status quo in place, and I am not just talking about the area of relationships.
You can read the article here
I’ve noticed that some of these women really think that they will be different that if they give their voice things will change. Dialog and all that jazz. Except there’s been centuries worth of conversations and nothing has changed. These women have still aligned themselves with those who can and will hurt them. Living ideologies that can and do hurt them. When you realize that your life has been harmed more than its been helped it’s time to reassess the situation. And after your reassess the situation and realize you aren’t #Winning… that your friends aren’t your friends….
Eradicate these people and go about your business.
Sorry that this was so long I promise my next post will be shorter.
Until Next Time,
Ps. I interrupted a series to write this post the previous post was “Why wouldn’t you want to be Feminine?” The next post is, “If Feminism Grants Choices Why isn’t Femininity Part of those Choices.”
P.s.s BWE writer Evia asked readers to repost her article
I’m linking it write here. She also asked for other women to repost it too.