Whatever I am, You Made Me… And When Will Black Women Stop Mammying?

 

In recent weeks there have been continual debates between some black women (who claim to be for black women) about how black women shouldn’t release the hold that feminism should have over them. These debates usually entail black women who are fed up with non reciprocity  and have decided to once and for all sever any ties and emotional connections to the feminist community ,and the recent results by some loud mouthed respondents has been to try and shame these women into staying in their place, firmly entrenched in a movement that has never purposefully or willingly given black women anything that could benefit them. And, in fact, has proven that they are actually themselves harmful.

This author here has written two very good posts on this very topic that I think you will enjoy reading.

http://neecysnest.wordpress.com/2013/02/22/when-will-black-women-happily-stop-acting-like-mammies-for-everyone/

http://neecysnest.wordpress.com/2013/03/02/courtesy-consideration-concessions-cooperation/

 

Usually in these arguments that attempt to pull black women back on to the mule bandwagon always entail lines such as, “I don’t know why black women want to ditch feminism. Without feminism you wouldn’t be able to enjoy any of the privileges you have today.”

As things have come to a head in the BWE camp and out of it with other black women getting fed up at being screwed over by feminism, and as more black women have decided to be one less soldier in the useless feminism army, and as there are less and less logical evidence to prove that black women have ever gotten anything out of the deal, this phrase, this line has been heaved at black women to effectively keep them chained to the community.

I want to warn black women that, as more and more black women leave the feminist community (and black community which ironically spouts the same thing), and decide to do what’s best for them, black women need to go about their business.  There is nothing to see here folks.

Instead as you encounter people who try and convince you that whatever you are, whatever happiness that you’ve gained, whatever rights and privileges, heck even the air you breathe is because the feminist or black civil rights movement gave it to you, just walk away.

Literally,

Just walk away.

Because lines like this that are being spoon fed to black women (even ones who claim to be BWE) are the last attempts to try and grab the clusters of black women who are heading towards the exits of the feminist movement and the “black rights” movements.

Similar to the way fly or a mosquito flies around a room before it’s about to die, these women KNOW that a growing number of black women are saying goodbye to the feminist movement (heck many white women don’t even want to associate with the feminist movement, for good reason, either) These women, who refuse to jump off the sinking titanic are now trying to pull the life rafts from you as you float away to happiness and self-success.

Further…. You don’t OWE THEM A THING!

It seems that many of the “Whatever You Are, We Made You” brigade like to rewrite history. Not only do these women  like to rewrite history they like to rewrite it so you will be beholden to their movement and vote/ support/ waste your valuable time on crap that in no way will EVER come back to help you.

  • These women like to claim that the feminist movement has *always*  been there for black women and that black women were just sapphire bitches who wanted to rip white women down because of their hatred and ultimately female jealousy of white women.

I wrote about this here:

https://notyourgirlfriday.wordpress.com/2013/01/10/so-black-women-hate-and-are-jealous-of-white-women-and-are-too-bitter-to-support-feminism/

 

  • These women like to pretend that feminist ( similar to black rights) movement intentionally and with caring forethought went out of their way or go out of their way to make sure that black women get anything in return. When really examples of the recent FLOP in the feminist community in respond to the Q Wallis Oscar debacle  show that that this has NEVER HAPPENED

 

https://notyourgirlfriday.wordpress.com/2012/12/06/black-women-you-will-never-be-a-protected-class/

 

  • These women like to pretend that if the major players of this movement have ever done anything but used black women as a body count while because of their privilege have used that to harm black women.
  • These women like to pretend that because sometime in the past, when feminism actually meant something and wasn’t the FARCE it is today that black women need to gap, bend and spread, because now WE OWE THEM.
  • These women like to pretend that black women OWE THEM their time , money, resources, votes, protests, as if black women and feminists sat down and wrote out some intricate  pre nup or there was some elaborate wedding ceremony and we are now married to these movements. They want to pretend that black women made a deal and now we have to fulfill our end of the bargain.
  • These women ( and men in the case of the black rights movement) like to pretend that because black women inadvertently benefit from a movement that wasn’t designed or thought out for black women that we should now do whatever they say.
  • These women like to pretend that the system set up, ever, currently or at some point WILL work for black women, when in fact it will do nothing of the kind.
  • These women think they are the leaders of some sort of CULT.

You would be surprised at the level of anger that many women are displaying because black women have said NO to feminism. (and the black rights movement)

Do Not Be Fooled, Do Not Be Alarmed

Most of this anger will be directed at you now because if these movements don’t have an adequate body count and enough people to  blindly going along with whatever tripe the decide matters , they will be in dire straits. They need bodies to serve as their flotation devices and they want you to be it.

Kindly Refuse.

Further for black women who are realizing that mammying isn’t the way to go I also want you to realize that current system and the way it works now will NEVER benefit black women. I have talked about this ad nauseam and this is why I write this blog because I want black women to get this in their head.

I’ll repeat what I’ve already said about the fatal flaw in the feminist and civil rights movements

Let’s Play a Game called IF_____, Then_______

Both of these movements operate with the belief that white men have the most power in a “racist and patriarchal society”

The feminist movement complains that white men (I’m italicizing “white” because I want to point out the fact that the feminist movement rarely IF EVER calls out the sexism of black males on black females unless it has to do with NON BLACK WOMEN) have gender privilege….

The civil rights movement complains that white men (I’m underlining men because the civil rights movement  has shown time and time again that they will gladly give a pass to racist white women) have the racial privilege and that is the reason why blacks men  can’t get ahead. They hold that blacks would equal if the just got rid of racism.

Black women know that in their world race AND gender come into play for them.

Here Comes the if/ then game…

IF in the feminist world/ and civil rights world white women/ black men need only ONE  more facet to have “equal” privilege they say white men have (race/ gender),  THEN  means that CURRENTLY both white women and black men already have some sort of privilege THEMSELVES because White Women and Black MEN BOTH Share privileges because of their RACE AND GENDER, respectively!

By this logic, that to be white you have racial privilege and to be a man you have gender privilege, both white women and black men are not fairing much worse than they claim white men are!

What does it mean in lay terms ?

Well here is where the intersectionality conundrum of the civil rights movement and the feminist movement for black women gets sticky.

This means that if white feminists or black men ever wanted to have full privilege they would have to keep the privilege they already have (race/gender respectively) and both white feminists and black men would have to GAIN gender/ race privilege respectively.

But where does that leave black women in any of these movements and why is it important for black women to realize the system doesn’t work?

 Black women need to realize that because they’re black and a woman neither movement that is claiming to care about blacks and women can EVER help them and gain any headway.

White feminist, if you look at it logically couldn’t possibly give up racial privilege and keep the gender privilege they gain because they will still be left short of having both. Black men can’t give up gender privilege and gain racial privilege because they STILL will come up short.

This is why you see stuff like the tepid response to the Onion incident. For black women to have been addressed in the feminist movement would have meant giving up the racial privilege of knowing they would be protected.  Just like if black men actually cared about the issues that effect black women  in the black community ( large numbers of rape/ domestic violence/ molestation) they would have to give something up.

They would lose any footing and privilege that would get them to their goal !

IF you consider it from this logic, You realize that the feminist movement is positively useless to black women , because of race they don’t have the privilege of benefiting and in the black movement because of gender they don’t have the privilege of benefiting.

Why should You Care?

You should care because at this point, these two movements have no and had no intention of giving black women anything. Sure at one point these movements helped black women by default  of having brown skin and a vagina. But it wasn’t on purpose nor intentional.  We saw historically how black men in the civil rights era clung to sexism while feminists clung to racial privilege.

At this juncture, you’re now just being used as a BODY COUNT because the system can’t work the way it is unless you only have one disadvantage or the other. NOT BOTH Race and Gender disadvantage.

Bringing it home…

My entire point of this post isn’t to go on and on about privilege  or lack thereof. I’ve said a million times it would be insane for anyone to give up their privileges.

BUT,  and that’s a big BUT,

Black women have to be smart with the choices they make now.  For starters by realizing how the system is fatally flawed to create an interesectionality conundrum for black women black women can start to realize that they are not beholden to ANYONE.

Mostly because the system was never intended for black women to begin with. There is no reason to feel indebted to a system that not only doesn’t help, and never wanted to but feeds of privilege in which other won’t give up.  Black women can leave the matrix because once black women realize they were never the intended beneficiaries of these movements there is no longer any need to feel gratitude/ show reverence towards them. Instead black women can assess the situation clearly and see that this is just another show, a façade offering black women temporary respite that can’t logically work.

The bigger picture…

Finally black women  can realize they can let go but they can also let go of the desperate need to defend two groups, if you use their logic, have privilege of their own.

There is no need to defend/ help/ waste time on two groups that while complaining about the privilege of white men enjoy the same privileges of being white or men at their leisure. Not only are these groups hypocritical (claiming to hate privilege while still enjoying it)  but these same groups that are claiming to be better to be helpful can hurt you when they feel like it and will get off Scott free. (Because in these two worlds racists and sexists are white AND male, not white OR male).

Instead black women can focus on living neutral, rewarding lifestyles that don’t require them to be a mammy, mule or white knight for anyone.

Until Next Time…

 

I’ve posted this link before, for those who may be interested I’ll post it again

It talks about interesectionality, top down theory, and how the current system is flawed all things I think black women should know about the author enlightened me completely. Enjoy

-onelesssoldier-

http://www-polisci.tamu.edu/upload_images/4/Crenshaw-Demarginalizing.pdf

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14 thoughts on “Whatever I am, You Made Me… And When Will Black Women Stop Mammying?

  1. “What I am, I made myself” needs to be the motto of all American Black women, because that is the absolute truth. Look at the constant campaign to malign us and keep us down, and STILL WE RISE, higher and higher every day. I am so tired of hearing about how WW and BM “fought for the rights and privileges of BW” when EVERYONE and their uncle knows that is total bull sh*t!

    The Civil Rights movement was put into motion by the actions and sacrifices of BW, not BM. BM only started to take action after things were already set in motion by BW. YET, come Black history month, all you see and hear is how this BM did this or that BM did that, with no mention of any BW other than Rosa Parks. And she was not even the first BW to refuse to give up her seat on a bus and get arrested for it, she was just the lightest complected.

    Likewise, the only reason WW have the right to vote is because they were able to ride the coat tails of Civil Rights legislation. Some bigoted politician said (sarcastically) if Blacks (meaning the men) should be able to vote then you may as well give women (meaning WW) the vote as well. He must not have been too well liked, because a majority of the other pols agreed with his sarcastic statement and now we can ALL legally vote. Which, to this very day, pisses off many misogynistic BM who only wanted Civil Rights for themselves and NOTHING for BW.

    I suspect that feminists are not just worried about body count, I think they’re also terrified that they will miss out on the opportunity to use us again. I really can’t see any other reason why such an obviously racist group of women would want Black women to join their ranks so damn bad. There are other women – Hispanics, Asians, Indians, Native Americans, Persians, etcetera. Why concentrate on us for the sake of body count?
    Every day I see a link to some bit of non-sense regarding Black women rejecting feminism. And since I believe in taking my own advice, I do not click. I can guess what it says.

    Great post!

    • I am so tired of hearing about how WW and BM “fought for the rights and privileges of BW” when EVERYONE and their uncle knows that is total bull sh*t!

      The Civil Rights movement was put into motion by the actions and sacrifices of BW, not BM. BM only started to take action after things were already set in motion by BW. YET, come Black history month, all you see and hear is how this BM did this or that BM did that, with no mention of any BW other than Rosa Parks. And she was not even the first BW to refuse to give up her seat on a bus and get arrested for it, she was just the lightest complected.

      Exactly. And I hope from my article it isn’t miscronstrued as me saying that bw did nothing for either movement. Black women busted their ass for both movements and got nothing. But somehow in both movements bm and ww positioned themselves (privilege) to get the accolades for something they didn’t do themselves and couldn’t have done without black women. Unfortunately bm and ww take black women as being FORCED into the background (While still working) as THEM DOING The work for US and ” giving” us anything.

      The Civil Rights movement was put into motion by the actions and sacrifices of BW, not BM. BM only started to take action after things were already set in motion by BW. YET, come Black history month, all you see and hear is how this BM did this or that BM did that, with no mention of any BW other than Rosa Parks. And she was not even the first BW to refuse to give up her seat on a bus and get arrested for it, she was just the lightest complected

      Yep, I have to be honest it’s one of the reasons why I’m a bit put off by black history month because somehow it’s always overlooked (aside from rosa parks) how many black women were really active / pushing the movement forward. Oh yah and March is WOman’s month Let’s count how many times black women will be mentioned?

      I suspect that feminists are not just worried about body count, I think they’re also terrified that they will miss out on the opportunity to use us again. I really can’t see any other reason why such an obviously racist group of women would want Black women to join their ranks so damn bad. There are other women – Hispanics, Asians, Indians, Native Americans, Persians, etcetera. Why concentrate on us for the sake of body count?
      Every day I see a link to some bit of non-sense regarding Black women rejecting feminism. And since I believe in taking my own advice, I do not click. I can guess what it says.

      YES! it doesn’t make any sense considering the bad blood between feminism and black women and how they’ve been SHAT on. And i don’t believe they care out of the goodness of their hearts (we all know that’s a lIE!) Like you said they just need somebody to use and they know that no other groups of women are going to stand for being the mules!

      • “Exactly. And I hope from my article it isn’t miscronstrued as me saying that bw did nothing for either movement. Black women busted their ass for both movements and got nothing.”

        Oh, no. Not at all. The fact that BW will work overtime for any cause that they believe in is probably another reason why both movements are trying to bully us into either staying or joining.

        “Unfortunately bm and ww take black women as being FORCED into the background (While still working) as THEM DOING The work for US and ” giving” us anything.”

        So they’re arrogant and delusional? What a shock. LOL.

        “…March is Woman’s month Let’s count how many times black women will be mentioned?”

        I’m guessing ZERO. But the WW feminists will pretend not to notice our exclusion. As usual. I wish they would pretend not to notice that most of us just aren’t interested in being their mules and leave us alone!

  2. This was such a great post 🙂 There is too much to quote that Iiked but these two stood out for me,

    “These women like to pretend that black women OWE THEM their time , money, resources, votes, protests, as if black women and feminists sat down and wrote out some intricate pre nup or there was some elaborate wedding ceremony and we are now married to these movements. They want to pretend that black women made a deal and now we have to fulfill our end of the bargain.”

    “These women ( and men in the case of the black rights movement) like to pretend that because black women inadvertently benefit from a movement that wasn’t designed or thought out for black women that we should now do whatever they say.”

    We inadvertently benefited from feminism. It wasn’t created and it is not being maintained because Black women were/are in need. It’s there for women in general but benefits White women the most. Just because we accidentally benefited from something doesn’t mean we owe them for life. We benefit from lots of things we had nothing to do with (e.g., schools, roads, airplanes, television, internet etc.) but we don’t have to pledge allegence to some group because we benefit from those things. We just live. Other people maintain those things for their personal benefit.

    I think it benefits BW more to just get the best lives we can, be good role models, accumulate wealth and property, save money for rough times and the future, become educated, make wise choices, stay healthy etc. because we are less privileged than WW in all of those areas. Our lives will be much better once we improve in these areas and that will actually give us a better quality of life, not labeling ourselves as feminists. Taking on the feminist label will not get us any of the things I just mentioned.

    • “I think it benefits BW more to just get the best lives we can, be good role models, accumulate wealth and property, save money for rough times and the future, become educated, make wise choices, stay healthy etc. because we are less privileged than WW in all of those areas. Our lives will be much better once we improve in these areas and that will actually give us a better quality of life, not labeling ourselves as feminists. Taking on the feminist label will not get us any of the things I just mentioned.”

      I could not agree more.

    • We benefit from lots of things we had nothing to do with (e.g., schools, roads, airplanes, television, internet etc.) but we don’t have to pledge allegence to some group because we benefit from those things. We just live. Other people maintain those things for their personal benefit.

      I love this so much. I don’t need to lay down my life an happiness for anything else I’ve benifited from why do it for feminism.

      I think it benefits BW more to just get the best lives we can, be good role models, accumulate wealth and property, save money for rough times and the future, become educated, make wise choices, stay healthy etc. because we are less privileged than WW in all of those areas. Our lives will be much better once we improve in these areas and that will actually give us a better quality of life, not labeling ourselves as feminists. Taking on the feminist label will not get us any of the things I just mentioned.

      Exactly because once black women focus more on those things we can change the majority of the problems that we have right now.

      • I just finished reading “Odd Woman Out: Why White Feminists Must Recognize the Beauty of Intersectionality” and I don’t understand why the author can’t see the obvious reason why any woman who is not White is, and always will be, excluded from acknowledgement in that movement. It was set up to benefit WW, and anyone else’s gain in nothing more than a fortunate accident. She must be in denial.

        For example:
        “As a black woman, if I see that only white women are selected to be the face of a movement then I am likely to presume that this movement is not intended for me. ”

        That’s because it’s not!

        “Feminism is intended to champion freedom.”

        Nope, just White female power.

        “This movement could be even more powerful if it recognized and created the space for black women and all of women of color to be their beautifully complex selves.”

        That is never going to happen, because WW would lose their own advantage over the rest of us if they did.

        There was only one comment, but the woman (Mexican) agreed with the post. She said, ” It is disheartening to me how often the feminist movement is portrayed as one waged by and for white women, especially middle class white women. In reality, feminism is for all of us, and it has historically been accomplished by all of us. I believe it is a divide-and-conquer strategy of the enemy to make it seem like a white women’s movement. Ms. Camara, you hit the nail on the head when you say the documentary should have been more inclusive. We can’t make progress as women until we’re all working together. And for the patriarchists, that will be a scary day.”

        This had me laughing hard, because blaming the “enemy” (meaning men – more specifically WM) for everything is the go to response for feminists. How exactly did the “patriarchists” make the WW who actually control the feminist movement, and who also made the documentary that was the topic of that post, exclude non-White women? Do they have mind control abilities? LOL. ALL of these non-White feminists need to get a clue. Fast.

        • I just finished reading “Odd Woman Out: Why White Feminists Must Recognize the Beauty of Intersectionality” and I don’t understand why the author can’t see the obvious reason why any woman who is not White is, and always will be, excluded from acknowledgement in that movement. It was set up to benefit WW, and anyone else’s gain in nothing more than a fortunate accident. She must be in denial.

          For example:
          “As a black woman, if I see that only white women are selected to be the face of a movement then I am likely to presume that this movement is not intended for me. ”

          That’s because it’s not!

          “Feminism is intended to champion freedom.”

          Nope, just White female power.

          I think these women are in denial. That or they honestly don’t get that the system is just too flawed to work. It’s sad because I watch these women get so close to realizing this( they do get intersectionality) but it’s almost as if NOBODY even notices that because of intersectionality they won’t every fully benefit. SMH

          I also have to LOL at the black women who talk about the feminist movement as some sort of knight in shining armour for black women when it has NEVER worked out that way.

          This had me laughing hard, because blaming the “enemy” (meaning men – more specifically WM) for everything is the go to response for feminists. How exactly did the “patriarchists” make the WW who actually control the feminist movement, and who also made the documentary that was the topic of that post, exclude non-White women? Do they have mind control abilities? LOL. ALL of these non-White feminists need to get a clue. Fast.

          Lol! i read the exact same thing! and got a good laugh. “The enemy”smh even when feminists show their true colors the apologists will stil believe anything. Sorry but I’m not going to blame wm for things ww have control over yet don’t care about. Take some responsibility! Tired of the scapegoating.

  3. Feminism is usless for Black women & girls. Black power movements are useless for Black women & girls. What Black women & girls need is a movement for the rights/advancement of BLACK WOMEN & GIRLS and ONLY BLACK WOMEN & GIRLS PERIOD.

    I also do not think the shoddy treatment/exclusion of Black women & girls by BM,WW,and their sham, phony movements is so much about intersectionality as it is about the fact that both of those groups simply do not like Black women & girls, and that is why I think Black women & girls need to tell both BM & WW to take a hike! Dont get me wrong OLS, I do agree that intersectionality is part of the reason those two phony groups act that way towards Black women & girls, but massive dislike/hatred is the greatest factor I think, especially in the case of Black males.

    • I also do not think the shoddy treatment/exclusion of Black women & girls by BM,WW,and their sham, phony movements is so much about intersectionality as it is about the fact that both of those groups simply do not like Black women & girls, and that is why I think Black women & girls need to tell both BM & WW to take a hike! Dont get me wrong OLS, I do agree that intersectionality is part of the reason those two phony groups act that way towards Black women & girls, but massive dislike/hatred is the greatest factor I think, especially in the case of Black males.

      Yes good point. A lot of them simply hate black women. But I think its a hatred simply stemming from the fact that black women’s success means that the playing field is even. If the playing field is even they lose their privilege.

  4. “In recent weeks there have been continual debates between some black women (who claim to be for black women) about how black women shouldn’t release the hold that feminism should have over them. These debates usually entail black women who are fed up with non reciprocity and have decided to once and for all sever any ties and emotional connections to the feminist community ,and the recent results by some loud mouthed respondents has been to try and shame these women into staying in their place, firmly entrenched in a movement that has never purposefully or willingly given black women anything that could benefit them. And, in fact, has proven that they are actually themselves harmful.”

    This is because BW have to learn to be stealth and quietly leave. Remember the phrase Don’t Announce Just Bounce! No need for debates, declarations, just quietly and quickly get the hell out of Dodge.

  5. I like this article. As a young Black woman of first generation Caribbean immigrants, I recently left Black Nationalism because of the sexism, hypocrisy and misogyny that I have seen in the movement. All they want Black women to do is martyr themselves for the “Black Community”(I digress calling the African American collective a community because they don’t know how to function as a community) and waste their time and energy in ” saving” and “protecting” Black men from the “evil White man”. And many of these Black Nationalist males are just very sexist towards Black women and when Black women date outside of their race, they are called bed wenches and sellouts even by their Sister Soulja Mammy mules supporters. Yet many of these Black Nationalist males dated and married light skin, White, Latino and any other race of women but Black. I hated that. Talk about double standards. Also they promoted polygamy as a better alternate to Black women dating outside of their race because there isn’t enough Black men to go around and to foster and promote the ridiculous myth of “Black love and unity”. And many of these Black Nationalists are quick to turn on you too. I had one backstab me and turn on me because I disagreed with him on a topic. Then I realized that Black Nationalism doesn’t benefit Black women and I left. It isn’t for me.

    I am interested in dating outside of my race. I am sick of these pathetic, lazy excuse for “men”.

    As much as I am against racio misogyny and sexism, I decided not to join feminism. I knew a long time ago that feminism doesn’t benefit Black women. It only benefits White women and their issues. Feminism is all about White women wanting gender equality with their male counterparts without losing their racial privileges. Thus I refuse to join it.

    These days, I am trying to live for me and focus on people and things that benefit me as a young, Black woman going out in the world.

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