Response to comment “for or against bw & feminism”

This is a response to a commenter, SoulAlive, who sent me someone elses debate about women who were “for”and “against” black women in feminism. This is my response.


Hi, Soul Alive thanks for sending me this. It is interesting to see that black women are still out in the feminist trenches grenade in hand.  Smh… some things never change.

Anyways, I would advise you to send black women who actually still think that feminism CAN work for black women to this link… if they didn’t get it before they might have some clarity afterwards.

It seems that “for”doesn’t seem to understand the basics of intersectionality, nor how it works. They also don’t seem to get why it would be wise to forgo feminism if you are a black woman.

I have said a million times that it is a waste of time and energy for black women to join in the feminist movement. It’s funny because this person can see that gender privilege will never be given up by black men but they can’t seem to grasp the fact that racism CAN NOT be dropped by white women if they want to have the SAME privileges that white men do.

I’ll explain what I’ve been saying and ultimately why I’ve retained my neutral stance towards feminism.

(Note all credit for my information goes to Kimberle Crenshaw who wrote the pdf above and is one of the leading women in Interesectionality theory)

For starters as the pdf explains white women (like black men) would be FULLY equal to white men but for their gender. (Same as black men would be equal to white men but for their race). Anyhoo,  we already *know* that white women have gender privilege but how can white women fully help black women (ie give up racial privilege) while still becoming equal to white men? (who have racial and gender privilege)

I’ll answer that question…. DUH they CAN”T.

In a racist and sexist society both black men and white women need race and sex COMBINED to be equal to white men. Further they MUST have someone below them.

In this case black women are the losers. Instersectionality tells us that black women can’t fully benefit from civil rights laws because sexism dictates otherwise.

What “for”doesn’t realize is that it is NO different on the other end of the spectrum in the feminist world. Black women can’t benefit from feminist laws because we are black. Further white women (like black men) need to use race as a way to be above the bottom level) Right now, with only racial privilege they at least can say they  have something.(same goes for black men)  What “for”didn’t grasp was that racism can never be fully fixed if they want to keep ahead.

I can’t see this changing because if either black men or white women give up their gender/race privilege respectively that will leave them where they started. (with either race or gender privilege)

So where does that leave black women?

It leaves black women supporting another movement that will never benefit black women.  And honestly what FOR should understand is that it never was designed to.  Feminism, like civil rights works TOP down instead of BOTTOM UP. That is it is for a unilateral world where you either are only at a racial disadvantage (black men) or a gender disadvantage (white women) in racist patriarchies you can only choose one insurance policy. ( civil rights or feminism.)

But of course black women have a problem, right? Because feminism which was designed for women already with a foothold (race privilege) can’t help black women because they are black! And white women can’t give up race privilege for the good of black women because that wouldn’t help them at all.

To be equal to white men they need both! It is no different than black men and sexism.  To be both in this society you need race and sex privilege.

So I guess in some way “for”was correct when they called that sexism will never be divorced from civil rights. But they don’t get full points because they didn’t connect the intersectionality dots fully.


Second of all “For” and “Against” both over simplify the role that black women play. To explain it’s not as simple as saying that feminism is “racist”. For starters since most feminist laws are created by White women who already have race privilege and there for live a unilateral life.  Their laws DIRECTLY go against the benefit of black women because black women CAN”T divorce race.

For example(And I’ve used this many times)  slut walks could never work for black women who already have a low image in the U.S. it would simply make black women look worse. Except many feminists wanted black women to put aside race and support it.  Even though it would be harmful.

The result: an instance where black women are supposed to give up something that will then be used to harm them.

What do I mean? Black women were told to put aside race but race was the exact reason why slut walks may work for white women (hypothetically at least. it was a dumb movement so I doubt if for them either) but not black women.

It is why I have always said there is NO SUCH THING as a black feminist because to Do so you would have effectively have to divorce half of yourself. Or at the very least cut off one of your arms which white feminists would then use to hit you over the head with.

Race is also why black women should really think about the abortion laws they support. (And I don’t mean morally) What I mean by this is feminists always talk about abortion, (which in itself I suppose isn’t bad) except when you consider that fact that most of the people who get abortions are poor black women.  Of course for white women who are not as likely as to be poor as black women abortion isn’t a way of life or the only resort. Secondly I’d also like to point out how anti abortionists, when it was time to target women chose to target black women first. (remember the “the most dangerous place for a black child is in the womb, meme?”) Here the abortions laws that supposedly benefitted black women actually worked against them when black women suddenly became the target.

Which leads me to my next point. It’s easy to simplify that black women are “anti woman” but whenever shit goes down after the feminism dust settles black women will get dragged in and down (of course ww won’t feel the full effect because racial privilege  keeps them from feeling it.) Could you imagine someone saying (and getting away with)  that about a white woman? I don’t think so.

Unfortunately too many times feminists uses black women as the poster child for something and yet the reasons why black women are doing something and the reasons why white women are doing something are completely different.

As another example white feminists may support “loving your body no matter the size”and while this is great it doesn’t take into account that this meme wouldn’t work for black women who A) have a lot of weight problems already and B) studies have been proven that a LOT of women are only overweight as   a coping mechanism to being sexually assaulted/harassed/ molested as a child.

Another example I’ve said is the free love ideals of MANY white feminists who think promiscuity shouldn’t be judged. And yet the pool of men that white women are promiscuous with and the pool of men that black women are promiscuous with are significantly different. One pool is more likely to have STD’s be uneducated, and leave black women a single mom.

Further even if black women wanted to work with feminists it has been again proven that because of race black women don’t get the benefits gained. For example since rape laws are created TOP DoWn to benefit white women black women are the least likely to get a rape conviction for rapists (of all races) and when they do (for all races of the rapist) the sentence is shorter and more lenient.

Black women, because of race, can’t benefit from rape laws.

So lets review. Black women CAN”T (even if they wanted) join feminism because the laws are created top down instead of bottom up and benefit white feminists first or because of race harm black women who because of intersectionality have multiple factors to consider. Further any laws created only benefit white women and black women because of their race can’t enjoy them the same white black women because of their gender can’t enjoy civil rights laws.

Onwards and upwards

But things take a turn for the worse for black women who support feminists. Because generally it has been shown that those feminists with newly found feminist freedoms use the freedom gained ( and because they now have both feminist and racial privilege) to hurt black women further.  See feminist response to pornography which hurts the poor, the black, the young.

When people on top get more they are not likely to share or help those on the bottom. They just now have more.

So add that to the mix. Black women, are now effectively giving the bullets to the gun white feminists can and will use against them.

So what’s the solution? Well for starters black women with top down feminism are not needed. Because it will help the people on top and trickle down anyway (that’s the way it was designed.) The only way for black women to benefit would be to have bottom up feminism. Bottom up feminism (or civil rights) would work by helping those on the bottom ( who are racially and gender discriminated against) and by extension those with only gender or race disadvantage would be covered.

Of course that won’t happen because for that to work the people on TOP would have to give up privileges for those on the bottom to even get basic rights.

For example bottom up sexism would help poor women being taken advantage of in the porn/prostitution industry by helping women who have no other options. But that WON”T happen because the people at the top currently want to keep the privilege of watching/engaging in pornography and prostitution because they are enjoying it or are there by choice. They WANT Top down because bottom up might mean having to give up their perks. And who is in their right mind is going to willingly do that.

Sure “for”was correct when she called that some feminists are willing to give that up. But most “feminists” don’t want to do that.  People want their fun even at the expense of others.  Further those women are few and far between. Hell I just read numerous posts dated back to the 2008-2009 where one feminist blog was being called out by women of color feminists for praising a racist “feminist “comic. And the white feminists didn’t not and wouldn’t get it. The author of said comic was accused of stealing her ideas from women of color, but the (white) author blew it off as “trying to bring her down” and she was defended while the woc were called jealous and written off. Further these feminists didn’t seem to grasp that drawing native people’s as “savages” is racist nor did they care. So I wouldn’t hold my breath at the we’re all in this together High School Musical feminism happening.

Finally, the best black women can do is to stay neutral. Why? Because if black women support feminism or civil rights ultimately because of race/ sex respectively black women can’t benefit or further they will be targeted. But if they don’t they won’t get any benefits (not even the ones that may trickle down) and if they support feminism, if shit hits the fan black women CAN and ARE blamed. (black women are already blamed by feminists for not being successful because we wont’ come together and give up race and black women are blamed in the black community because black women supposedly chose feminism.)  Never mind bad decisions, stupid policies and idiotic behavior, these people WILL need a scape goat and since black women can’t use race/gender as an escape hatch like other groups use black women are going to have the finger pointed to them. And what will escape everyone is that the reason why black men escape blame is because of gender and the reason white women escape blame is because of race meanwhile black women are only getting blamed because they can’t have access to either privilege.

To make any move would be dangerous.

I did a bit of research on WW2 and Switzerland.  Did you know that Switzerland was neutral during the war? If I’m not mistaken it was because they were too small to defend themselves against Germany but if they sided with Germany and they lost they would be hurt by the allies. So instead they did nothing and because of geography and being in the mountains and cut off they were protected. And because of the fact that they had money they were able to stay out of it.

I would suggest black women do nothing.

You don’t even really have to morally be opposed to feminism. All black women have to do to be successful is STAY OUT OF THE WAY. Black women don’t have the option or the ammunition to get involved. Feminism will spin another day without black women. Also I would advise “for” to look up the term “mammy ”because she’s definitely in that category. Because, face it black women are being used in feminism it is only taking the brunt/fall out or being used as a mammy. And it won’t end well.

To “against” I would say keep your mouth shut. You don’t need to make any “official” stance about feminism( the only reason I talk about how bad feminism is  because black women need to see why they should just walk away).  Just become educated leave the ghetto, stay out of it and more than likely you can remain as successful as Switzerland.

Until Next Time

Stay Neutral

Don’t Let them convince you the totem doesn’t exist

Totem Pole, Victoria Island, Ottawa River 2


Warning: This post might be all over the place because I wasn’t struggling a bit to pull my thoughts together so please bear with me.

Yet again this post was inspired by a comment from this:


I would like to say that I( and you would have to be blind not to)  have noticed a phenomenon occurring. If you look closely and listen to certain groups of people talk, chances are you will have heard something similar to what I ( and many other black women have heard) I’ll give you a scenario:

Black woman :  I don’t consider myself a feminist.

White feminist:   But women need to come together! We need to be united.

Black Woman: I just don’t feel as if feminism is relevant for me.

White Feminist:  How can you not find feminism relevant? Of all the groups in the US black women have been historically mistreated. You should want to help out. If you help feminism then it will trickle down to you.

Scenario 2:

Black woman: I feel as if the black community is overlooking and treating black women badly.

Black Man:  I don’t think that its true.

Black Woman: I feel that I would be better off supporting feminism. I am a woman first.

Black Man: That’s stupid! You may think that you are a woman first, but to them you will always be black!  Do you think that they will ever see you as anything else? You need to work with us because once black men have equal rights to white men; it will trickle down to you.

I didn’t pose those scenarios to highlight the usual selfishness of feminist and civil rights groups. My main point was to highlight something else. In this case what I am pointing out is that when black women are poised to walk away from groups that don’t directly benefit them they are talked, cajoled and scared back into line. But further I think that what should be noticed is that there are people who are very aware that there is a racial/gender hierarchy and that black women should want to support every “movement” under the sun because it will supposedly trickle down to us.

Further these people feel offended that black women refuse to work with them because the unspoken (and often spoken) idea is that black women are “on the bottom” and they should  “know how it feels” to be oppressed etc. etc. based on race and gender combined.  Why wouldn’t black women want to work for causes such as these?

What I believe is the most telling( and I feel the need to point out to you) is that the ultimate goal of conversations like this is that black women should feel as if we should sympathize with every one because if it is bad for them then it must be bad for us.

But here is where things get crazy sneaky. The same people who usually like to pretend that black women are just as well off as them any other day, have to give a nod (albeit not always conscious but definitely grudging) that black  are being hurt the MOST by racial/gender hierarchy.

Let me explain…..

During “regular business hours” (the 364 days of the year) *some* people like to pretend that white men are the only ones benefiting from the racial/gender hierarchy but black women know this isn’t the truth. Usually though when black women point out the racism with feminism or the sexism in the black community black women are met with disbelief (because of course they’re oppressed too). Or as if the racial/gender hierarchy leaves black women on the same level as black men and white women so they can’t possibly be hurting black women. Or they respond as if they didn’t even know there *was* one.

But of course this is a lie. And this lie is always displayed in Technicolor when they need black women to work for them.  First of all if feminist groups and Civil Rights groups didn’t know that there was a hierarchy, there wouldn’t constantly be promises that benefits would trickle down to black women or that black women would receive them by extension.

What is my point?

By definition “down” is below. Meaning they know that black women are “worse off” then them.

“By extension” means black women are not the main focus.

Do you see what I’m getting at yet?

It is an admission that they are aware that race and gender come together when these people say things like this. Heck, why else would it be argued for black women to work with them.

They know that it is “worse out there” for black women.

These groups know this!

But these people like to pretend that only white men benefit from race/sex privilege.

Except how can this be if they are going to have benefits trickle DOWN. Obviously they know we are “below them” and it is convenient for them to forget it every other day of the year until they want to remember. If black women were truly equal (and by that I mean benefiting the same from gender/race) then black women really wouldn’t have any reason to support feminism or civil rights movements more than anyone else? Now would we? And it wouldn’t commonly be said that black women “should understand out of all groups what it is like to be oppressed.”

Because if we’re convinced we’re all being screwed together that means that we more willing to go along with their thoughts when they want us to. It’s the way to get bodies to fight in their “war” against racist patriarchal white men while being able to comfortably enjoy the same benefits said white men have. And then when called on it they can still pass the buck onto white men and say they created the problem.

In other words they are playing both sides of the fence. They can admit that black women need help and to help ourselves they should help them but they dodge accusations that they are to blame or benefiting because they are “ below” white men too.

Clever, but this blogger isn’t amused because I’m on to them. In fact I would venture to say that their crafty wording is what had me onto their stench to begin with.

It’s an acknowledging non acknowledgement.

Black women have fallen for it. Because the only time that people want to acknowledge that black women “have it the worst” is when it is time to convince black women to bend over and let them onto our backs so they can get up first. When black women weren’t laying down for civil rights they were being told by those same black men that they are trifling, nasty bitter, jealous fat asses that needed to change and drove men out of their lives and that ultimately black women have it “better off”. When black women weren’t holding hands in unity (really coddling) white women in feminism while they talk about their needs, black women are shown exactly where they stand by the absolute non concern that is exhibited when black women point out racism.

Basically black women are acknowledged to be on the bottom as long as we can have some benefit to them. I remember in one article I read about women (I guess they meant white women) and self-esteem one commenter was talking about how “hard” it was to be a white women because of the self-esteem issues  and trying to live up to pressure and black women were better off because we don’t have to adhere to traditional beauty stereotypes and how black women (somehow) have great self-esteem. (I guess beauty standards don’t apply to black women because we’re black and of course all the women are white.) My point is, the same people who so easily write of black women having “traditional feminist issues with self-esteem later try to get black women to work with them. Later they convince black women that we really are worse off and need to get help.

So which is it?

Well it’s whatever they want it to be at the time. It’s whatever these groups find beneficial at the time. If black men find it beneficial to use black women for civil rights then black women are worse off. Or if white feminists need numbers to further feminism we’re totes on the bottom.  BUT  if they have fulfilled their use for us…We can take a seat.

Black women can’t win playing this game.

So what is the lesson here?

The only way black women can win is if they ignore the game and go about their business. Because by the way they are leading black women on a string its more harmful than helpful.

I would also go as far to say that the most harmful thing that black women can be convinced that people don’t know that there is a totem pole. When black women believe that others don’t know that race and gender combined for black women is disastrous, we leave ourselves open to be led around by the nose. Because when they have us convinced that the playing field is equal we start to accept things that are actually more harmful to us because we are, in reality, on the bottom.

A good instance was when the slut walks happened. So many feminists (pretended) not to see why black women wouldn’t want to co- sign “reclaiming” the word slut, given black women’s history in the U.S.  Of course in that case most black women didn’t buy the cool-aid and false confusion and deftly avoided that train wreck.

It’s also funny to note that just like I said the major argument for why black women should join was that it was a woman issue and if it was bad for them it would be bad for us.

But my point is that was a clear situation when a certain group would like to pretend that there is no totem pole and have black women behave as if all the rules apply equally for everyone. The totem pole was erased for their benefit despite what would have happened if black women believed it. The best thing black women can do for themselves is cut the cord on the line that we’re being fed because there is a totem pole. To be convinced that others don’t know about it means black women will get crushed by it.

out with flu…be back soon

Hello readers,


I just want to address the fact that some of you have left comments(thanks! btw). I have noticed but have been unable to respond. My entire family came down with the flu (me included) and I haven’t had enough time to address them in the manner i would like.

with that in mind i should be back soon to respond to your comments and with some new posts


until next time,


stay neutral.

How black women became feminism’s Mammy… and Womanism’s wet nurse.

This post was inspired by a comment that my reader had  to this post.

I didn’t post the entire comment but I did post this part of it. Blackfemaleculture writes:

The BW who wrote the post you are quoting from is a mammy and an idiot. And not just for supporting those who don’t give a rat’s crap about her or anyone who shares her ethnicity, but because she is willing to throw other BW under the bus to curry favor with such people. If I were going to swear my allegiance to a group of people, it would be one that actually has my back. I don’t need fair weather friends / alliances. None of us d

The biggest thing that stands out to me was when she used the word mammy. I honestly don’t think I could have used a better phrase than this. When I think about it, that is exactly the type of relationship that black women have with feminism. They are they Mammy’s. Further I have to call out “womanism” because to me it is a shell of something that had potential to be good for black women. In reality black women became Womanism’s wet nurse.

Let’s talk about how black women became feminism’s Mammy.

Dependable – Like a good mammy, and although feminists like to pretend black women are oh so unsupportive when really  black woman have always been the mammy to the movement and were dependable.  I think some people like to forget how during the 70’s there were black women who supported feminism.  Admittedly it wasn’t all black women but think about this, if a significant number of black women hadn’t supported feminism, black male /female relationships wouldn’t  where they are today.  Supposedly from what black men say (although I do consider it bullshit) black men wouldn’t hate black women if they hadn’t defected to the “dark side” and supported the “I don’t need a man”meme that feminism supposedly was/is.  So from at least one part of the population there is some*albeit ridiculous* acknowledgement that black women were involved in the movement. (although some bm try to say that wanting equal pay and reproductive rights is “defecting” but w/e)

Nevertheless black women were dependable and joined the movement. Classic signs of a good mammy.


Let’s look at another way that black women became the Mammy of feminism.

They do the dirty work. When it’s time for fat acceptance it’s time to fly in black women who are previously relegated to sidelines/sidekick, (While white feminists get to play desirable roles. (I’ve written about this before)  Or if there is any character that needs to “break molds” black women classically get the dirty work of being othered ( and given false acceptance for being progressive) meanwhile other races of women get to stay in the safe area and play roles that while may “ pressure them to live up to a standard” but still ends up in the long run. In the end black women have paved the way for other races to get feminist benefits that in the end black women, because of racism won’t get to enjoy. If you have seen the movie Pitch Perfect they had a black, overweight, lesbian (butch dressing woman) which if you are a butch lesbian I’m not indicting you because that’s not the point. This isn’t an indictment on sexual orientation. This is to point out a trend. In the movie it was made a joke that they thought she was a man only to find out she wasn’t. (which considering black women’s history and the jokes for women who aren’t butch lesbians and the propensity for the media to make black women asexual or treat them like men in wigs I’m not laughing) In this world all black lesbians are butch not femmes. Or if they’re not a lesbian they are completely asexual.  But it’s clear that when there are lesbians they are always the masculine (never feminine) woman that craves gentle white women (pretty much what happened in the movie). Because black women are just like every other MAN who just *loves* white female flesh.  What I want to know is this: If being a butch lesbian is something to aspire to, why are black women always the ones assigned that role?  Why aren’t there an equal number of supposedly desirable rolls for black women?  Why are the black women always assigned the masculine role.  AND NOTHING ELSE? Further why aren’t the majority of white women ever cast in this role? Why do we always see ( and are pushed to accept ) roles for black women like Mercedes on Glee, who doesn’t care about how overweight she is meanwhile white feminists get to women  like Rachel on Glee to look at. Why is the only representation of black women lesbian, masculine, fat, or unattractive, or all of the above? Why aren’t they ever desirable femme lesbians, or desirable straight black women?

I’ll give you the answer like a good mammy these women are supposed to do the hard work ( ie be characters that are “ groundbreaking”  in a time where there is no acceptance ) they are letting white (and other women of color) pretend  that they are accepting ( because like they claim “ there’s nothing wrong with the being (fillin in the blank)) while they get the high horse of being desirable. Just like a good ol’ mammy they do the work while Scarlett O Hara gets to have fun.

No reciprocity- Even worse than the other is there is no return. Like a good mammy black women never receive anything in return. They are “treated like family” just like many white people thought of their mammy’s in the old days except not only are black women (like the old mammy’s ) still treated like dirt with racism,  there is no time for black women to get anything back after their hard work. Instead like a mammy black women are treated as if they have no wants needs or desires, and if it is acknowledged it is well know that white feminist (just like the people with mammies in the old days) aren’t going to defer their dreams, wants, hopes, and desires, to a simple black mammy. Black women feminists are supposed to do/ support…. they are NOT supposed to ask, think, feel, experience pain etc.

Treated like family… but not really. People claimed to love their Mammy’s.  They claimed they were family.  Similar to the way non black feminists like to say the care about ALL women. But with a Mammy that obviously isn’t true because they were still thought of as inferior and you simply don’t treat a mammy like a non living, being if you truly care about someone. Same as if you claim to care about black women in feminism you simply DON’T relegate them to the sidelines while they do what you say and then use them like a tool when you’re ready. You also don’t ignore real problems they may have ( like racism) you would be concerned and try to help.

Only there to listen- Like any good mammy black women became great listeners in the feminist movement and just like a mammy there is never any return. We must listen to the rants and raves of white feminists about the white male patriarchy and how much the men (that they still marry/ mate/ birth mind you) are just oh so terrible. Meanwhile when black women complain they are told to hush or completely ignored. Really…. could you imagine if in Gone With the Wind the mammy (or any mammy who is supposed to be like family) took a seat and started complaining about her problems? Why I don’t think Scarlet O Hara character would know (or care) what to do. Instead black women would are looked at as if they are insane when they complain about sexist black men or told that they probably have less body issues because they don’t have to live up to standards (forgetting that the standards are racist and in their favor), or told that black men can’t be sexist because of racism, or simply shrugged at. As the mammy of feminism black women are there to listen while white women complain about white men (or whatever while male related problem of the month) until they go back and suck them dry (forgetting that they are benefitting greatly from such terrible men.) People only care about them because it is one sided, like a true fairweather friend they can have a living springboard but they don’t have to do anything. But imagine if the springboard started talking back or diminish their problems. Why… look out!

On to Womanism.

How black women became “womanisms” wet nurse…

I’ve always had a problem with Womanism. Simply because of the fact that it is basically is white feminism in a different name. Except in a way it’s kinda worse. Because now instead of black women trying focus solely on themselves, in an effort to be “inclusive” unlike that evil feminism.  Black women have to include everyone.  This includes black men (lol) gay white/black men (who despite what you think still have privilege  because they are white and male or just a male) , white lesbians (who still have privilege because they’re white) “Women of color”  who have shown time and time again that a lot of them can be more racist than white people, Men of color (who again still have male privilege),people who are able bodied, transgendered people, etc.

And I’m sure that these are worthy causes. Except that black women can’t handle it all. Nobody can. I sure don’t see white feminists attempting such a feat or black male activists for that matter. Because it’s simply NOT possible. Instead this movement becomes one big campaign to validate everyone. Except when the campaign is helping people who already have privilege, because of that privilege black women are again forgotten. Just like a wet nurse people line up to suck at the teat of black women’s movement where they get validation for all of the racist/ sexist / whatever bullshit that happens in their lives (without having to have the balls of calling out whoever(although usually it ALWAYS come back to Ye olde white man) instead of doing it themselves. Those same Asian/ white/ Latina/ women who may have treated you like dirt under feminism with their privilege can now come to womanism. Those same sexist black/ Asian/latino men who cat called and harassed you on the street are now protected… by you. Those same racist/sexist gay white men (it is possible) and the same (racist) white lesbians ( you’d be surprise at what I’ve seen…again it is possible) can come straight over to womanism and VOMIT ALL OVER YOU. Again.  But Yay! “Inclusion”.

  These womanist proponents are the same ones who don’t realize why it’s not fair to have biracial people be the SOLE speakers for the black experience. And let’s not even bring up the fact that there already is a movement that covers everyone. It’s called humanism.

Womanism fell under the great mistake (that may black women do) of trying to be everyone’s defender and ended up still in the mammy/ wet nurse role.  Black women (at this point) don’t have the political power to protect everyone when race and gender already put black women behind. But like a wet nurse “womanism” allows everyone to get fed at the proverbial teat except black women.

I would have liked to have movement that focused on black women. (That is where BWE and the like usually come in because like others they don’t claim to be able to defend everyone and acknowledge that it’s simply not possible.)

Finally I would like to say in the case of Womanism/Feminsm the biggest way that black women became the mammy/wet nurse was because ultimately they settled into a toxic relationship that gives nothing back and in fact asks to give up benefits that ‘supporters” are benefiting from. And like I’ve said before I don’t expect people to give up privilege… nobody sane would.  But that doesn’t mean I’m going to be a Mammy/ wet nurse/ general all around girl friday. That’s simply insanity.

So… black women hate and are jealous of white women… and are too bitter to support feminism?

On a lot of bwe blogs many black women love to talk about the GAT-DL or Guarders of all things dark and lovely. Meaning they are a brigade of (usually) black women (and men sometimes) who feel the need to defend ANYTHING that has do with black people even to the detriment to themselves.  In the BWE world the GAT-DL are mocked for the way they without fail feel  the need to “white knight” for black folk. What I’ve noticed is  that while the GAT-DL  are told to take a seat, because BWE women can think for themselves the PDOBV- (proud defenders of boob and vag) are always out in full force. Further these women are lauded by some even when they aren’t saying anything valuable.

If you’d like to identify the PDOBV, look for any woman who calls themselves “progressive” or  “liberal” look for the women who voted for Barak Obama simply because he had such *great* plans for women. (And these women never talk about the faults of Barak Obama.. *gasp*  there are some) And if they didn’t support Barak Obama with all the fanboy techniques of the same women on Jezebel, chances are in some other way, they are always peddling… ahem,  talking about the benefits of  feminism. (Which usually goes only so far as birth control and abortion and they never take black women’s unique circumstances into account when they mention these policies) But the easiest way to identify the PDOBV  is by looking at their hobbies. One of  their favorite past times is to disparage anyone who doesn’t support feminism with the full  recklessness and abandon  as they would. For any woman who chooses to “opt out” the PDOBV loves to join the ranks of white feminists in the shame game

This is especially true for black women who are not only guilted but pressured and lied to until they are beaten into the feminist submission mold. ( I don’t ever here these PODBV trying to rally  and guilt the masses of white women into feminism, and *gasp* there ARE white women who don’t identify with feminism.

Usually the conversations that take place between the PODBV and  black women they are trying to convert always likes to glance at the history between black women and white women, but then quickly the conversation quickly comes back to how black women have shunned white women who have “given so many efforts to expand their sisterhood” *sarcasm off* while ignoring the pure racism that lies dormant within feminist society.

Let’s take a look at the article in question.  Who is obviously a great example of the PDOBV The author *surprisingly a black woman* states right off the bat,

Black women can’t stand white women. That’s really the crux of the matter and that is the primary reason why more black women don’t call themselves feminists—because black women and white women have an extremely difficult time working with each other. Anything that has even a whiff of white women on it will receive an almost visceral rejection by black women, because black women feel that if white women are involved, then it—whatever “it” happens to be—must surely be hostile to black women.

And, let’s be honest: Historically, white feminist women are returning the favor. White feminists have not been anywhere near as inclusive towards black women, or as understanding of the viewpoints of black women, as they could have been.

First off she attacks black women, using phrases like “can’t stand” to oversimplify relations. As if the reason why black women DON’T support feminists is because black women are wary of white feminists because of 400 years ago. She probably thinks if she oversimplifies things and brushes things under the carpet black women will be more malleable?

Let’s look at the real reasons that black women can’t, don’t, or won’t support feminism

  • White feminists from the very beginning didn’t actually want black women in “their movement”. Despite women like Sojourner  Truth who was writing “Ain’t I a woman at the same time.”  Early white feminists didn’t want black women in their movement because they didn’t want to talk about race (and their racial privilege )  in relation to sexism. They wanted their separate movement (but for black women it’s intersected) They didn’t want the power of “their” movement diluted by talk about race. (Susan B Anthony, if I’m not mistaken is one of them.)  Further for the women that did work with blacks it was more often than not with black MEN and not black women.
  • White feminists have benefited from racism and it is uncomfortable to have to be aware of this.  This is why you can go on any “progressive” feminist website and not only are the women dismissive of black women’s unique problems they can be down right racist.
  • The things that white women and black women want, because they are on opposities sides of the spectrum
  • White feminists not only  enjoy privileges based on race they also not only watch but participate in the degradation of black women.
  • White feminism only involves talking about how  racist/ sexist/ terrible /  white men are ( and its always white men, because of course black men CAN”T be colorist, sexist etc.) While these women now sympathize with the same black men who are making black women’s life a living nightmare.  Basically black women got tired of Dead beat black man apologizers and would rather not spend their time memorizing ever supposed infraction white men do (and again its always ONLY white men who can be racist/ sexist) and got tired of having to brush away the racism of  white WOMEN.
  • White feminism directly goes against what would be beneficial to other women of color.  For example trying to make “prostitution safe and legal” even though the majority of women who are prostitutes are women of color, poor, and NOT doing it by choice. They completely look over the women suffering for the happiness of a few instead of trying to find solutions to being poor and being forced into that lifestyle.
  • White feminism continues to ignore the black women who actually do show up.

To simplify black women and white women’s relations  in feminism as black women “not being able to stand” black women is completely smug and glib.

This author also sites Kassandra Perkins murder, and says that,

“Feminism provides a framework from which to understand the widespread violence used against black women to both exploit them, punish them, and to keep them in their place. Feminism from a black female perspective tackles the issue of the disintegration of the family in black communities and the effect that disintegration has had on black women. Feminism gives black women a theory (multiple theories, actually) to hang her hat on in an attempt to understand why lower class black people behave in certain ways and why black men and women have so many problems relating to one another.”

I find this funny that the author was sighting how feminism helps black women understand violence and domestic abuse.  Its actually ironic because many feminists didn’t even think this was a “domestic violence issue” but decided to turn it to the greater conversation about “gun violence.”

Indeed this is another sad display by a black woman who is trying desperately to enjoy the benefits that white feminists get although most of the time they do not receive actual support in real life.  Because when it comes to black women and feminism, there is always a bigger issue.

Further the author says,

“Can black women and white feminists agree on anything?

Many Black women are jealous and envious of white women. Whereas white feminists were angry and resentful about the limitations that patriarchy put upon them while simultaneously holding them up as the ideal of womanhood, black women were wishing that they could be up on that pedestal instead of cooking and cleaning as a domestic in the homes of white families. According to black women, white women actually had a good deal but they were too privileged to appreciate it. When white women were talking about wanting to go to work, they were thinking about professional careers which would allow them the full expression of their creative faculties—to many black women, work meant menial, rote labor which kept then away from their families and away from the care and upkeep of their homes. Viewed from these opposing perspectives, it is understandable why lower and working-class black women were not as vocally supportive as the average white woman of calls to enter the workforce and leave the home, especially when many black women were already in the workforce and not happy about it.”

This woman yet again likes to simplify black women’s supposed no support of feminism (although again this isn’t even true) to simple jealousy. Instead her sentence could read like this.

“Black women were pressured to join feminism and the call to work outside of the home (even though they’d had no choice but to do it all along). In actuality because of racism and a number of other intersecting factors these women, even if they chose to work outside of the home, or were welcome in feminism would have still been assigned to the menial roles. Further because of racism black women would not ,and in a large portion, have not been able to enjoy the benefits of working outside of the home in “creative “jobs.”

Let’s not twist history. That pisses me off. Instead let’s be honest about the fact, as I’ve said before that black women CAN not fully benefit from feminism fully because they are BLACK. No matter how condescending the author is that fact is inescapable.

To further her own stupidity she says later,

“Disagreement on one issue, such as fat positivity, does not mean that black women should reject feminism wholesale. There is no contract stating that in order to be a feminist you have to be fat positive”

Bitch Magazine declined to publish an interview with Caitin Moran after Moran gave a series of what some felt were racially insensitive replies to a twitter user. Feminist writer Jessica Valenti gave a nod to the importance that women of color assign to the role of motherhood and to how women of color view their status as “mother” in a different light than many middle-class white women.

Let’s not pretend that the disagreement that black women have with feminism can be condensed to one issue. Especially in modern feminism. But even if it was only one issue that there was disagreement on, it is too major to not create opposing factions.  Further, just because one feminist author  (who I personally can’t stand btw) gives a “nod” ,after 50+ years of feminists ignoring black women’s thoughts and now finally surrendering the point, lets not pretend this is some great  feat.  If it took fifty years to get a “nod”from one hack feminist btw, on the importance of motherhood how long do you think it will take white feminists to actually call out black ( c )rapper misogynists instead of giving them a pass because “they’re oppressed too”?

She then hammers home her points by saying.

Many white feminists are now attempting to join hands across class and racial boundaries in support of the creation of a liberal welfare state, such a state would undoubtedly greatly benefit poor black mothers who need all of the help they can get. Here is where I think the dissention between black women and white feminists comes in.


Black women want husbands not just to help raise children and elevate the family out of poverty, but because most black women are heterosexual they always want a relationship with a man for companionship and comfort reasons.

In other words, too many feminists are failing to grasp the desires and wishes of black women because said white women lived a different experience. Black women and white women are talking past each other—again.

Again let’s not simplify things. It is not “talking past” is two groups that want completely different things. And that is alright. But lets not try and guilt black women to  spend their lives trying to find a way to agree with feminists instead of going after their own dreams. Not only is it not possible for black women to really benefit if their was agreement but it gets in the way of black women enjoying themselves.

Secondly I find it is also a pure lie that white feminists are putting out the hand for black women and black women are, with usual jezebel bitterness shunning them. Instead what I see are white feminists who create conversations that surround themselves and their own experiences and then decide when they are going to “grant” black feminists a voice.  Further any conversation that involves black women quickly becomes a bigger issue that white women turn into their own unique issue and somehow black women get pushed out of the way. (see conversations on street harassment. I hear many women speak that when they went to india they were the only one’s who were harassed because they were “soooo fair”  (as if black women weren’t harassed daily.)

What is a global woman’s issue turns into a white issue and black women get their voices silenced.

Her final point is:

“ History will always be written by those who bothered to show up. The agenda will always be set by those who attend the meeting. And by black women’s continual rejection of both their invitation to attend the feminist meeting, they are accepting the continued marginalization of black women’s needs and interests both within the feminist movement and within the world at large

And yet, feminism the movement and feminists the people are not perfect. There is room for tremendous growth within the feminist movement and the voices of black women with different viewpoints are appreciated and needed. If black women want to be understood then they must speak up.”

This paragraph should read like this.

“History will always be written by those who have the privilege. Indeed, the ones who have privilege are the ones who even get to show up in the first place. The agenda will always be set by those who have the privilege to put their issues in the front and ignore all the others.

It is accepting marginalization to continue to work with an “organization” that has proven it neither works nor cares about the lives of black women. It is demented to keep banging your head on a concrete wall.

Further there is no room for further growth in feminism because it has been proven by many black women that intersectionality keeps black women from being heard or benefiting from feminism. Black women need to STOP waiting around for white women to make choices.”

Finally these PDOBV are never on board with black men who say similar things. Imagine if a black man told this black woman that the only way to benefit as a black person would be to align                                                    themselves with black men and that black men have always wanted to work with black women (even though sexism clearly proves otherwise) and that black women are just bitter. This woman and many other PDOBV would have a conniption fit.  So I can’t help scratching my head that this black women had the nerve to insult black women who have desperately been trying and failing to get a feminist voice as if they were never there or as if white feminists A) created feminism or  B) black women are just being difficult.

Women like this  are similar to the same people who now want to live in a “color blind” society and say that black people , or other people of color are being racist for even brining up race.   As if blacks were born in their own racist vacuum or had the privilege of ignoring race.

For black women to fully join feminism they would have to not acknowledge their blackness (which I’ve said before is impossible) because to do otherwise in this community is “divisive”. Women like this just don’t see that white feminists can NEVER be fully equal to white men if they don’t hold on to BOTH race and sex privilege. Most women won’t  give that up for some misguided attempt at sisterhood. What will be sad though is when this woman’s house of cards falls she’s going to wonder what went wrong.


Welcome Back!!! 2013 Look Ahead


Happy 2013! I hope that you had a good holiday.  This year I  really want to focus on a few key things that I think black women would really benefit from

Staying Neutral.

I think as 2013 starts it is important for black women to remember that we are not obligated, required and do not need to be guilted into supporting movements that as I have explained before do not benefit black women, and in fact harm them. Case in point right off the bat I read in an article that actor Donald Glover ( whose plays Troy Barnes on my favorite show Community) is being cast to play Lena Dunham’s character’s boyfriend on the show GIRLS. I think this is a perfect example again of why black women should feel NO guilt  walking away from feminism.  *No it’s not because I’m uncomfortable with Donald Glover’s character being in an interracial relationship* Rather the biggest thing that jumps out at me about this casting what I’ve always said about why feminism doesn’t work for women.  Because when I comes down to it black women will not benefit from being a minority(as would the black man in this case) because they are a woman. After all of the outrage that occurred from women of color who had a problem with the show being called “Girls” when it featured only white, upper middle class women, Lena Dunham and entourage decided to give minority women a voice by casting who? A black man.  If this show hadn’t already told black women ( and women of color) to drop dead, this casting wouldn’t have been a problem. BUT and it’s a big BUT that requires me to point out AGAIN that as many have said before me: “All the women are white all the blacks are men.”  Basically this show has on lock the “girls” spot by white women who have decided to speak for everyone. And now that it is time to show some “local color” its time to fly in a “black man” who of course can speak for all blacks.

Someone on Clutch (I won’t post the article look it up) said:


January 8, 2013 at 8:08 pm

What I like is how she basically told black women to ‘suck it’. Black women complained because they wanted to be included, after all, this is a show centered on women (not that the men don’t count, but it’s not called girls for nothing) and we were completely left out.
How did she respond? by choosing to add a black man before she adds a black woman. The black community is quick to give white women a pass as if they can’t be racist, but she in my opinion just told black women that hell will freeze over first before she sees us as equals.


Again I can’t even express anger, because *I know* that white feminists will always choose to support a black man over the supposed “sisterhood” with black women (probably because the majority can actually *sleep* with them)  and I hope instances like this that are happening with more frequency will free black women of the chains of supposed “civil rights”ideology. Black women must have their own stuff and stop looking to sisterhood.  Black women need to stop begging for a trickle from other groups and must build their own communities and entertainment.

And speaking of chains…

Looking at the other end of the spectrum, “Django Unchained” *whipped* its way into theaters recently. Leaving everyone in *awe* about how “awesome” the movie was. Meanwhile black women have either been frothing at the mouth because  Kerry Washington’s character got no voice in the movie (literally and figuratively) and other black women pulling out the confetti and streamers because Blacks have (supposedly) finally gotten a voice.

The only thing I can see from this movie (which I will NOT go see) is this is another attempt by every other group involved. To erase black women from existence (or push them into minimal spots). The entire movie is about how this black man is getting his wife (and through her his manhood) back from the white man.  This movie is so *UNIVERSAL* that they are even making action figures out of the characters. Again this is just another example how  “All the women are white and all the blacks are men.”

Black women are supposed to see this movie in droves.  They are supposed to identify with it. (Because it is easier for black women put away identity and identify with black men. Instead of vice versa.) And it is never vice versa.

In actuality this movie is just another reason why black women must pull what Whataboutourdaughters calls an “ignorecott”. This year we as black women, must, must, must put away our mainstream and even Black Community media sources and look to other off beat, less popular ways of finding our identity.  It is imperative for black women to stop looking to a media source that has perpetually said F-U to black women while continuing to take our resources.

On the topic of  there was an article from a disgruntled woman writing in about how offended she was that Kanye choose Kim Kartrashian as a baby momma.  This  year I want to focus on black women expanding their dating options beyond black men. Second I hope to write some articles about how the black men who are “abandoning” black women were garbage to begin with. Why would any black women wish Kanye West on another black women. We should be grateful that he didn’t just add to the single mothers pile in the black community. At least he took that bad behavior outward. This year black women must, must, must (and my articles will talk about this) let the bedraggled black men go. We do not need them.

Last year when Michael Ealy? Got married secretly to a white women black women were upset from some slight they felt towards them. I have to say that these black women would not feel slighted if they ignore the haters and dated outwards and opened their options. Too many black women are taught that they only have one option, that only one group will love them.  (I am not really an interracial blog ) but I think it is imperative for black women to expand.

The final thing that I want to focus on this year is health. This is a big topic even for me and I plan to write many articles this year on this topic.  I feel that it is important for me to get in some reasonable shape (I’m alright now but I’d like to be better).

Anyways, happy new year!  If you can think of any topics that should be covered this year let me know. I’d be glad to write about them.

Until Next Time,

Stay Neutral.