What Black Women Aren’t Told About Sex

 

Disclaimer: While I think that this article can be helpful to women of all colors, black women are my intended audience. I am having this disclaimer now because I have never pretended that I not speaking to a specific audience, although if other women find this article helpful that is great. This post is also part of a pair and I will be posting the second half either today or early tomorrow morning.

Further this post may be LONG so if need be I suggest reading half now half later.

 

I believe that young black women, (and a lot of other women) have been sold a false bill of goods. Although one commenter raised the idea that casual sex culture and shaming of women who seek out sex in relationships/marriage is NOT a caveat of modern feminism, I think that it is pretty apparent for those of us with eyes (or who have been on the internet lately and are NOT putting their heads in the sand) that casual sex has somehow been paired with modern feminism and has now sold women a GIANT false bill of goods.  These women (around 18-27) have somehow been taught that casual sex and “hooking up” are “empowering” or “exploration”.

Further, this commenter who was skeptical of the shaming of young women who don’t engage in casual sex, mentioned that the reason why the disadvantages of casual sex weren’t spoke of in the feminist community was because it wasn’t “Relevant”. I believe that if feminists believe that talking about the ups of having casual sex (and like a different commenter mentioned are never actually pinpointed) then equal attention should be given to consequences. Especially since the claim of feminism is to give women choices. Further for black women, it is especially dangerous to apply behavior that my work for white or other raced women, when intersectionality comes into play.

So without further ado I will give you what is pertinent information regarding sex and why black women should NEVER be casual about their sexuality.

STD’s:

Here are some Fast Facts given out by the CDC

Fast Facts

  • African Americans are the racial/ethnic group most affected by HIV.
  • In 2009, African Americans comprised 14% of the US population but accounted for 44% of all new HIV infections.
  • Young African American gay and bisexual men are especially at risk of HIV infection.

 

Further the CDC states that black women, in 2009, accounted for 30% of NEW HIV cases. It also stated that 85% of black women who contract HIV and AIDS contracted it from heterosexual sex.

Further Womenshealth.gov states that compared to white women, black women have

Sexually transmitted infections (STIs) affect people of all backgrounds and economic levels. Yet African-Americans have high rates of many common STIs. Compared to white women, African-American women have:

  • Chlamydia (kluh-MID-ee-uh) rates that are more than seven times higher
  • Gonorrhea (gon-uh-REE-uh) rates that are about 16 times higher
  • Syphilis rates that are 21 times higher

For herpes 1 in 6 people between the ages of 14-49  in the United States has it. Black people were most likely to have it and black women had a prevelance rate of 48 PERCENT!

HPV- Is the MOST COMMON STI, and it passed most often through vaginal and anal intercourse. Further women are more likely to get this disease than men. According to the CDC many people do not even know they ever have it and it can be years before they realize it.

What does this tell you?- Well I think it’s obvious that black women are taking terrible risks when it comes to having casual sex. Forget that it is your “god given right to have as much sex as men” and look at the facts. The facts are that STD’s are being passed around at an alarming rate. The facts are that especially  in the “black community” the irresponsibility of many men and women to EVER use protection when it comes to intercourse and the DL phenomenon( if we’re honest we’ll acknowledge its there) can HURT you, if you’re not keeping yourself safe.

Keeping yourself safe doesn’t mean hoping that the person you’re with is being honest with you when they said they were “clean”.  (For starters in some cases the person may not know or show any symptoms of having any illness)  Being safe means that you minimize the potential to get in this situation. It means avoiding having casual sex at all. Further if the men black women are having sex with aren’t taking responsibility for themselves (and read Men’s statistics and you’ll see its bad too) black women are committing suicide by engaging in behavior with them. Maybe in other communities where women are infected at lower rates than black women can “afford” to have casual sex (though I highly doubt it) black women can NOT allow themselves to be a victim of this too; Something that can be taken down to 0% risk simply by NOT engaging. We already have enough on our plates.

 

Out of Wedlock Births:

In the “black community” 73 percent of births are out of wedlock meanwhile for Latinos the rate is  53% and for whites 29%. Considering the fact that black people are only 14% of the US population that is troubling.  Forget for the moment that black women “shouldn’t be abandoned by deadbeat men”. Obviously black women shouldn’t be abandoned, (DUH) but for it is doubly obvious for anyone who has escaped Blackistan that black women are ON THEIR OWN. I have said this a trillion times. Black women can only depend on themselves in the BC, especially when everything goes south. So for black women intentionally put themselves in a situation where they will be have 18 years of heart ache where they have to raise a child alone (especially when that wasn’t their choice) it is madness.

 

Marriage- This is specifically a problem for black women because black women especially are having the most problems trying to be able to finding suitable marriage partners. Black women also complain about how the dating market is not in their favor. Black women have not been told that they should try and find suitable partners while they are and may have an edge. For all of the complaining about a “man shortage” it is inconceivable that black women should spend their time having casual sex during their 20’s and then somehow confused and bewildered when they hit their 30’s, after all of their failed relationships and wonder why they can’t find anyone.

Emotional Toll- This is the thing is one of the most important aspects of casual sex/hooking up that I find that virtually nobody ever seems to consider. In fact, what should be the first thing that people consider before black women engage in hook up culture, it is always the last. In fact most people like to pretend (and it is pretending) that is the least important aspect. Women are  also told that this is not important and buzzwords like “exploration” “empowering” and “getting to know yourself” are thrown around without giving a thought to the downside. Emotional responsibility is everywhere.  If you read accounts of a lot of women who have hooked up or had casual sex afterwards the majority of these women end up feeling bad afterwards and have very negative feelings about the experience.

Even the women who when they were in their early twenties and said they were enjoying themselves and didn’t have any emotional problems, when retrospective studies were done, it was reported that these women found that they found these experiences regretful. Another theme that I continually see catching up to women is that these women who spent their time hooking up and having casual sex found that they engaged in the relationship because it was going somewhere  they thought it would turn into something more. Turns out these women felt duped when the men they were with didn’t want anything more than a hookup. Another theme I always see is how a lot of women say that while it was easy to have a hookup by time they wanted to get serious they didn’t know how. Meaning while they knew what they like sexually they had absolutely no idea how to have a meaningful relationship later.   Basically there has been a sharp interest on sexual identity there has been not enough interest on a relationship.

Reputation- This is something nobody wants to talk about but it would be insane if I didn’t mention it. Maybe for white women, they can afford to be promiscuous and have casual sex, because they are privileged enough that they will be seen as less damaged  in the eyes of society. But it would be impossible to say that black women are granted the same. Indeed most black women (who have admitted the truth) know that in 2012 a lot of society sees black women as hyper-sexual, angry, jezebel baby mammas who can’t get enough sex. This is the same reason why I didn’t cosign SLUTWALKS because for black women to willfully call themselves slut, knowing that because they are black they are already stereotyped as hypersexual is just ignorant.  Black women just can’t afford the hit to their reputation by being promiscuous, even if they wanted to. Yes in a perfect world people would see black women in a positive way without having to change perception themselves, but we don’t live like that and society is unfair.

Sex Workers- On one final note I wanted to talk about the black women who support pornography and prostitution, because this one is important too. In the feminist community there is the trope of sex positivism. ( The feminists who support pornography and prostitution because they see it as freeing). What black women aren’t told is that the majority of prostitutes are POOR, YOUNG (underage)  and BLACK.   See these women are saying that prostitution should be made “safe and legal” and yet these are the same women who claim that they know somebody who is a prostitute by CHOICE. These women are the 1% and it pisses me off to no end to hear from women who voluntarily get to choose. They are not forced and they can walk away at any time. Black women cannot afford to cosign behavior that is predominately going to affect them. They also can’t afford to cosign the objectification of women when they already know their reputation is in the gutters, as black women.

 

Reading this points I just made I don’t see how it is responsible or smart to promote or encourage (or at least blindly sit by and tell women that being promiscuous is A-okay) when women know that it can potentially hurt and/or ruin their lives.  For black women, it is downright suicide to cosign/engage in behavior that has risks that can potentially hurt you, especially considering black women are the MOST likely to be affected  by all of these things.  If women want to engage in behavior like this of course, they can do whatever they want, but I am not going to cosign, laud or accept promiscuity as good  (for men or women). Especially when I know how much black women are hurt by it every day.

http://www.cdc.gov/std/HPV/STDFact-HPV.htm

http://www.cdc.gov/nchhstp/newsroom/hsv2pressrelease.html

http://www.cdc.gov/std/stats10/minorities.htm

http://womenshealth.gov/minority-health/african-americans/stis.cfm
http://www.cdc.gov/hiv/topics/aa/

http://misunderstoodfinance.blogspot.com/2012/02/racial-and-educational-disparities-of.html

20 thoughts on “What Black Women Aren’t Told About Sex

  1. Great post! I agree with every word. Especially …

    “Black women also complain about how the dating market is not in their favor. Black women have not been told that they should try and find suitable partners while they are and may have an edge. For all of the complaining about a “man shortage” it is inconceivable that black women should spend their time having casual sex during their 20’s and then somehow confused and bewildered when they hit their 30’s, after all of their failed relationships and wonder why they can’t find anyone.”

    This is an excellent point. I have known a few women, not all of them Black, who thought that they could sex their way into a man’s heart. The fact that they believed this told me that despite their extensive sexual expertise they had no real understanding of men. Some of them had never even been on an actual date! I kid you not.

    Also, getting married while your stock as a woman in highest is just common sense. Too many older women are filling young women’s heads with bull crap about screwing away their 20s then seeking a husband in their 30s, when it is harder to attract a man because of perceived relationship baggage and lower fertility. I base this on what I have observed, read and been told, by honest men that I know.

    The thing is, if a man has the option of choosing a younger – more likely to be fertile, woman who did not screw her way through her 20s (picking up Chlamydia or some other sterilizing STD) why wouldn’t he? The only men who are settling have no choice but to settle, because they are not good prospects.

    “Another theme that I continually see catching up to women is that these women who spent their time hooking up and having casual sex found that they engaged in the relationship because it was going somewhere  they thought it would turn into something more. Turns out these women felt duped when the men they were with didn’t want anything more than a hookup. Another theme I always see is how a lot of women say that while it was easy to have a hookup by time they wanted to get serious they didn’t know how.”

    That’s right. If you advertise yourself as an easy lay and guys take you up on it, you will never get to a point in your associations with any man that will allow you to learn how to connect mentally, spiritually and romantically with a man. From my own experience, you learn how to be in a relationship with men by being in relationships with men. I consider the men that I dated seriously before meeting my husband, practice partners for the real thing.

    “Reputation- This is something nobody wants to talk about but it would be insane if I didn’t mention it. Maybe for white women, they can afford to be promiscuous and have casual sex, because they are privileged enough that they will be seen as less damaged  in the eyes of society.”

    “Black women cannot afford to cosign behavior that is predominately going to affect them. They also can’t afford to cosign the objectification of women when they already know their reputation is in the gutters, as black women.”

    This is something that White feminists just don’t get and never will, because they insist on remaining in denial about racism and it’s effect on the lives of BW and the ways in which they SUPPORT and APPLAUD our degradation.

    The American media (which has a decidedly feminist bent) goes a hundred miles out of its way to portray Black women as negatively as possible, so we’d be fools to assist in our own degradation. And yet some do, for the sake of their “showbiz career”. I have a perfect example:

    This past Summer, there was an afternoon version of Good Morning America and Montel Williams appeared to discuss relationships. Sitting in on this discussion was a BW I’d never seen before named Loni Love. As you can probably guess, she’s a very American media friendly BW – fat, loud and unfeminine. On this show Montel was discussing how he applied The Rules to his current relationship by waiting 3 months before having sex and that he believes it is the best relationship he has ever had with a woman. So, the BW acts shocked and does the whole “Oh my God! 3 months is forever! I gotta test drive the sex on the first date or it’s over!” bit (those were not her exact words, mind you).
    Here’s a link to the episode if you want to see what I mean: http://abcnews.go.com/watch/good-afternoon-america/SH55216454/VD55225388/good-afternoon-america-89-do-sexless-relationships-last-longer

    So here you had an attractive BM (in a relationship with a WW) saying that “sex is worth waiting for” and a stereotypical BW saying “I can’t wait for sex, I’m waaay too horny!” I have no doubt that the BW’s comments were planned in advance with a goal in mind, and I think you and I understand what that goal was and has always been.

    • This is an excellent point. I have known a few women, not all of them Black, who thought that they could sex their way into a man’s heart. The fact that they believed this told me that despite their extensive sexual expertise they had no real understanding of men. Some of them had never even been on an actual date! I kid you not.

      Also, getting married while your stock as a woman in highest is just common sense. Too many older women are filling young women’s heads with bull crap about screwing away their 20s then seeking a husband in their 30s, when it is harder to attract a man because of perceived relationship baggage and lower fertility. I base this on what I have observed, read and been told, by honest men that I know.

      I always read about women like this, who are so shocked that sexual experience somehow doesn’t help them have successful relationship and of course they’re so confused because they don’t know HOW to be in a relationship. I believe you when you say they haven’t been on an actual date.

      I agree I don’t know why women wait until its too late to try and look for Prince charming and then are surprised when they have to settle. What i don’t get is why these women in the 20’s believe a word that the women in their thirties say considering a LOT of them are single and childless themselves, clearly showing that their brilliant plan to put off marriage DIDN”T work.

      This is something that White feminists just don’t get and never will, because they insist on remaining in denial about racism and it’s effect on the lives of BW and the ways in which they SUPPORT and APPLAUD our degradation.

      The American media (which has a decidedly feminist bent) goes a hundred miles out of its way to portray Black women as negatively as possible, so we’d be fools to assist in our own degradation. And yet some do, for the sake of their “showbiz career”. I have a perfect example:

      The denial from feminists is now laughable now that I’m looking from the outside in. All I can do is SMH at the black women who haven’t accepted this fact yet.

      I know exactly what woman you’re talking about! I didn’t even have to watch the shameful clip. She has made her living being the loud mammy it’s completely embarrassing. But this is similar to on dancing with the stars (which i DONT watch anymore) if you ever watch the show they always have some loud mammy-acting black women who the audience just LOVES. and of course it’s planned to perfection for her to act that way. In fact I read somewhere that when Wendy Williams was on the show they wanted her to act in a stereotypical way! (and of course the black men on the show never act like stereotypes. But yes I know what the goal is, which is why I opted out.

  2. I certainly hope that Wendy Williams didn’t go along to get along, as too many BW in show business seem all too willing to do. I haven’t seen Dancing with the Stars since season one. And after the guy from Seinfeld was cheated out of his hard won victory I never watched again. It’s hardly surprising that a show with no integrity would be racist as well.

    • No she didnt really go along with it. She got kicked off early. That show does have problem with integrity, I figured that out when Brandy was on there and got cheated out of the finals for Bristol Palin! She was terrible. I never watched again after that.

  3. Yes, I agree with this. I often wished that sex-ed in high school was less politically correct, and actually showed the statistics on this. I also wish our parents had sat down and talked to us about sex. Not one of my friend’s parents ever talked to them about sex, and neither did mine. We all had to learn the hard way, through pregnancy or std scares.

    I didn’t see the abnormally high rates of stds in the black community until I went to college. If I knew then what I know now, I definitely would not have had sex until I was older and more mature. Its scary to see how high the disease load is in our commuity and how hookup culture is promoted in our society, but it is detrimental to the black community.I know white women who never use condoms and have had over 15 partners and have never been burned. I would like to see a black woman pull that one off.(not really) She literally would not have a v@g in 3 years lol. But anyways, glad to see the knowledge being spread around!

    • Its scary to see how high the disease load is in our commuity and how hookup culture is promoted in our society, but it is detrimental to the black community.I know white women who never use condoms and have had over 15 partners and have never been burned. I would like to see a black woman pull that one off.(not really) She literally would not have a v@g in 3 years lol. But anyways, glad to see the knowledge being spread around!

      This! BW would never be able to pull this off simply because of the STDs rampant in the black community and the sexual irresponsibility. Bw simply cannot afford to be uneducated.

      • I Don’t believe the high std rate among Black females. Never believe the lies that the CDC put out about Black women! Shame is We are beginning to believe the lies that racist whites put out about us. Tired of so called informed Blacks putting out these “facts” that are nothing but lies. Like we have the most abortions. I don’t know hardly any Black females that has had one. But almost every white female I’ve ever known claimed to have had one and she is proud of it! When I read that 40% of the “black” children in foster care had white mothers it made me think. See we are getting blamed for what they are doing. White doctors don’t report std’s of white people. The CDC get their info from clinics in poor areas. You’d be shocked if you new the real numbers of white std rates. I’ve dated quite a few white men and almost all turned out to be bi or gay. This is real talk. They wanted me to do some of the nastiest things that a Black man never asked me for. And you talk about sexual irresponsibility in the black community white people are one of the most sexually deviant and permiscious group around. See when you put out these false stats your are contributing to the racists that are trying to destroy the Black woman image. See this is part of the nobody wants you group also. See, we Black women will be seen as “dirty”, HIV infected low down females that deserve what we get because we are Whores. Now the high OOWB can’t be argued. That needs to be stopped pronto! OLS I hope you don’t take this as an attack against you, your readers or your blog. I’ve just read this too many times else where and I’m tired of it! The fat, diseased, baby momma nobody wants. If I read those stats and I was a white man I’d never look at a black women. Too many troubles. I’m in black female meetup groups and I’ve asked them do they know any black women that has aids or have had an abortions and they looked puzzled. Only a few knew someone that had an abortion. Only one knew someone that had aids. But let the CDC tell it Most of us have it even tho most of us don’t know anyone that has it.
        I know my comments are all over the place forgive me. But I’m very passionant about black women image.
        I really love your blog. I feel that I’ve finally found a bwe blog I can relate to. You acknowledge wf racism and bm hate and sexisum. You are not snobby and put lower class black women down. That’s so very important not to do. I see this in bwe blogs all the time. I might not have much money right now but I”m working on my own small business from home. I I left the hood down South and I moved to AZ and I don’t worry about dbrbm’s breaking into my home and hurting me. They know better in this area. You really uplift and inspire me. I feel like I’m not in this struggle by myself. I look forward to commenting more on your blog and I really enjoy all of your articles.

        Wanda

        • Thank you for bringing that to my attention. If you have alternate statistics please let me know. I wrote this article hoping to get mmore black women to pay attention to who they are sleeping with simply because some black women end up worse the were after all is said and done. Even if the statistics are low than stated by the CDC (and I’m sure it’s possible) It is still very important for black women not to mingle with the dbr littering the bc. No matter what black women need to consider this. And no matter what white people are doing in regards to sexual activity/disease I do not feel that this changes black women’s need to better choose who they sleep with. Also you said that the CDC gets their information from poor areas. I would hope that any black women who live in those areas would hear some of this information so they don’t fall in the trap either. (I’m hoping i reaching a broader audience than just middle class black women.) though I know that this is not even the majority of black women.

          Welcome to NYGF, I’m happy to have one more reader and commenter.

      • White women are getting burned all the time and they are just lying to you. White men are not clean. And family please don’t accuse me of being one of those sista soldiers or mammies you talk about. White women are getting pregnant, std and you will never know about it because it is not being put out there. Don’t believe the hype. My cousin is a nurse at a white clinic and she tells me all the time about the white men and women constantly come in there to get treated for the same std over and over again. She says this is not being reported to the CDC. Now I’m not saying it is safe to sex black men. Hell no! But the info that is out there on Black women is so wrong and inaccurate. We have less sex, drink, smoke and do less drugs than whites.

        • OLS here’s another example of what I”m talking about. The stats “lies” that damage black women. A dbrbm on YourBlackWorld are using these CDC facts to diss black females.

          WHITEMEN BEEN TELLING ME THAT ONE OF THE MAJOR REASONS THEY WOULD
          BE WITH A ASHY AS BLACKWOMEN WOULD BE TO SHOW BLACKMEN THAT
          THEIR WOMEN ARE SOME SLOW CHEAP EASY TRIKS,AND SHOULD NOT WAIST
          THEIR TIME UPON THEM. A LOT OF WHITEMEN ADMITTED AND UNDERSTOOD
          WHY BLACKMEN CAME OVER TO OTHER RACES BECAUSE A LOT OF BLACKWOMEN HAD SO MUCH OF TRAITOR BLOOD THAT WAS PASSED DOWN FROM THEIR MOTHERS IN ORDER TO BETRAY AND DISOWN BLACKMEN.
          A LOT OF WHITEMEN I TALKED TO FOR THE LAST 25YRS SAID THAT HE COULD
          NOT SEE A BLACKWOMAN RAISING HIS KIDS BECAUSE HE LOOK AT THE BLACK
          MEN THAT ARE LOCKED UP AND THEY ARE RAISED BY SOME OF SORRIEST
          BLACKWOMEN THEY HAVE EVER SEEN.LAZY TRIFLING,DISEASE INFECTED
          AND NONE WANTS THE OTHER TO BE ACCOUNTABLE.CHENIE NO BODY CARES
          WHO YOU DATE,BUT YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT THE WHITE DUDES YOU GIVE IT
          UP TO THINK YOU AINT SHHHHHHH.BUT IF THAT DONT MATTER TO YOU, YOU
          REALLY NEED TO STOP THE PROSTITUTION AND HOOKER APPOINTMENTS
          AND QUIT SUKIN DIK BEHIND THE WELFARE OFFICE IN THE BUSHES.AND ALLOWING THE WHITEBOY DOG TO HIT IT FROM THE BACK.

          See this is what I’m talking about. Black men are so quick to say we are full of STD’s but most black females are not down with the swirl so who are giving them the std’s? Dumb Negros. The same black sites quoting these black female std “facts” never list the dbrbm numbers. See this is the Nobody wants you crew. They want us to believe that no other man wants us. A lot of Black women are afraid to venture out of their so called lane. I did and dated a doctor, lawyer, sports agent and banker. I had a lot of Black women hate me and talk about me because I thought I was better than them, Well I am. I love myself and gonna try to make a life for me and my child. They were mad because they were not going out on dates with men that had their life together. One of your commenters said that a lot of these sista’s never even been on a date. That is so true. They think Pookey showing up on their doorstep with a forty for himself and he doesn’t even bring you a Coke, wants to sit on your couch and watch your tv and then have sex with you in your house and then leave to screw the next clueless sista is a date. Been there and done that. Never again. If these sista’s want to be a sexual toilet for these dbrbm go for it. But don’t hate me and call me a golddigger because I have standards. See black men can’t stand to see me with others but they can get with white, asian and mexican females and get them pregnant and leave them. I live in AZ and there are more mixed black children then black children. Sistas are catching on and moving on. I see lots more sista’s with non black husbands and I do mean husbands! They are not baby mama’s. They have a ring on and are riding in nice cars unlike the trailer park princesses who are pushing Ray Ray’s baby to the busstop in 115 degree heat. They thought they took something from us black females when they got with him but after Ray Ray spent all their money, knocked them up and used them we get the last laugh! HA!

  4. Great blog! I must say that I recently discovered your blog and have been reading all your posts like my life depends on it and when I think about it, it (my life) does. So thank you OneLess, I am piggy backing on Ms Wanda I am too very leary of using the CDC numbers as it relates AA/BW. I remember googling (after listening to Dick Gregory, I know, right?) the the articles where CDC had to clarify its numbers regarding BW and HIV due to false positives results and another one regarding the Herpes result. Your point isn’t lost on me but when we repeat these same stats that have been proven false I am concern that we are unwittingly playing into the hands of white supremacist and dbrbm who are looking to destroy BW’s minds, bodies and spirits beyond recognition. (the devil is a liar 24/7 so we have to be ever so vigilant) I too was told by several people who work in the health profession that they are told not to report whites’ numbers as it relates to stds and abortions. So one would be well advised to heed the wisdom of this post and vet, test and protect regardless of the race man.(woman) Please keep up the good work. I’m off to read another entry. yes!

    • Beloved, I forgot to mention the fake positives! They are giving us Aids when we don’t even have it. When white folks get it is called something else. I think most of the Black folks that are diagnosed with aids are negative. I’m glad I’m not the only Black female that see’s through this false CDC crap! OLS I hope in the future you can do an article about these false CDC stats. false fostercare stats, and false abortion stats. They want to make it seem like black women are horrible moms also. But we can raise their children for them. We can’t be too bad. Alot of BWE bloggers are guilty of spreading this also. That’s why I have a lot of problem them. They are mean girls and try to make lower income bf’s their punching bags.They make it seem like it the lower females that is the cause of all our problems.l If you disagree with them they all attack you. I have one oow child which I had at 31. But I feel like I’m not really welcome in these snobby groups. I don’t make enough money or have enough education. I do feel I”m intelligent enough to know whats going on with Black women and our problems. What I love about OLS is for such a young woman, she gets it. She is what a lot of older bloggers should take notes from. She is inclusive. She does not talk down to the “poor black trash ghetto baby’s mama’s”. She is tough, caring and honest without trying to make herself look better than others.

      • I don’t believe the stats either. All of these stats REEK of PROPAGANDA. We are at a time in which Black women are SECOND to white men in terms of college degrees now all of a sudden you get these stats from the CDC. According to them, we are the face of HIV, Herpes, Majority of STDs, Majority of Abortions. It’s getting ridiculous. Comedians love to joke about how White women will give out blowjobs like it’s a handshake. They sleep around soooo much (I’ve seen it in college) but they get less diseases than we do? I’m not naïve but I don’t believe it. Actually, it’s naïve TO believe it. The CDC has declared war on the image of Black women and the real question is why. More than one poster has now confirmed that they know that white std stats are not reported. The CDC is full of sh!t and they have an agenda.

  5. i really wish someone had given me all this information 3 years ago. i’m only 19 now and i don’t know if i have an Std or some sort of infection. i was all about the “slut shaming is bad” and “casual sex is good for you!” feminist trend. even though still do somewhat agree, i’m starting to realize that all of this is just for white women. like that slut walk thing? what a joke. Everytime i read articles like this i get so scared because my mom and dad don’t have any STDS so i know i wasn’t born with one, but i still engaged in sexual activity at the ages of 16 and 17 without getting the 2 guys checked out and i still regret it because i really don’t want to be burdened with an STD.
    “casual sex is good for sexual exploration!!” oh gosh i hear that one all the time. what they don’t tell you is that you don’t need to have sex with another human being to explore sexually. you can explore your sexuality in the comfort of your own bedroom alone at night through masturbation where it’s safer. Learn about your own body when you’re alone that way when you’re with someone you trust, who is also tested, it’ll be better for the both of you. I wish someone gave me all of this information before. Now i’m only 19 years old and i have no idea where to get tested for STDs. i just hope and pray that i don’t have one and i’ll be alright. oh i should mention that i also happen to live close to DC, which has one of the highest rates in the USA for HIV. really scary 😦

    • Aneesa,

      Planned Parenthood has affordable STD testing, ob/gyn exams, and birth control. They charge on a sliding scale and require proof of income. If you live close to DC, the location at 1108 16th Street NW, Washington, DC 20036 is Metro-accessible. Their phone number is 202.347.8512. Good health is priceless! Take care of your health!

  6. Pingback: l’m #NotAFeminist , #StayingNeutral , #DontCapeForThemUnlessTheyProveThemselves #HeForShe? | Black Girl With An Attitude

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