What Black Women Aren’t Told About Sex

 

Disclaimer: While I think that this article can be helpful to women of all colors, black women are my intended audience. I am having this disclaimer now because I have never pretended that I not speaking to a specific audience, although if other women find this article helpful that is great. This post is also part of a pair and I will be posting the second half either today or early tomorrow morning.

Further this post may be LONG so if need be I suggest reading half now half later.

 

I believe that young black women, (and a lot of other women) have been sold a false bill of goods. Although one commenter raised the idea that casual sex culture and shaming of women who seek out sex in relationships/marriage is NOT a caveat of modern feminism, I think that it is pretty apparent for those of us with eyes (or who have been on the internet lately and are NOT putting their heads in the sand) that casual sex has somehow been paired with modern feminism and has now sold women a GIANT false bill of goods.  These women (around 18-27) have somehow been taught that casual sex and “hooking up” are “empowering” or “exploration”.

Further, this commenter who was skeptical of the shaming of young women who don’t engage in casual sex, mentioned that the reason why the disadvantages of casual sex weren’t spoke of in the feminist community was because it wasn’t “Relevant”. I believe that if feminists believe that talking about the ups of having casual sex (and like a different commenter mentioned are never actually pinpointed) then equal attention should be given to consequences. Especially since the claim of feminism is to give women choices. Further for black women, it is especially dangerous to apply behavior that my work for white or other raced women, when intersectionality comes into play.

So without further ado I will give you what is pertinent information regarding sex and why black women should NEVER be casual about their sexuality.

STD’s:

Here are some Fast Facts given out by the CDC

Fast Facts

  • African Americans are the racial/ethnic group most affected by HIV.
  • In 2009, African Americans comprised 14% of the US population but accounted for 44% of all new HIV infections.
  • Young African American gay and bisexual men are especially at risk of HIV infection.

 

Further the CDC states that black women, in 2009, accounted for 30% of NEW HIV cases. It also stated that 85% of black women who contract HIV and AIDS contracted it from heterosexual sex.

Further Womenshealth.gov states that compared to white women, black women have

Sexually transmitted infections (STIs) affect people of all backgrounds and economic levels. Yet African-Americans have high rates of many common STIs. Compared to white women, African-American women have:

  • Chlamydia (kluh-MID-ee-uh) rates that are more than seven times higher
  • Gonorrhea (gon-uh-REE-uh) rates that are about 16 times higher
  • Syphilis rates that are 21 times higher

For herpes 1 in 6 people between the ages of 14-49  in the United States has it. Black people were most likely to have it and black women had a prevelance rate of 48 PERCENT!

HPV- Is the MOST COMMON STI, and it passed most often through vaginal and anal intercourse. Further women are more likely to get this disease than men. According to the CDC many people do not even know they ever have it and it can be years before they realize it.

What does this tell you?- Well I think it’s obvious that black women are taking terrible risks when it comes to having casual sex. Forget that it is your “god given right to have as much sex as men” and look at the facts. The facts are that STD’s are being passed around at an alarming rate. The facts are that especially  in the “black community” the irresponsibility of many men and women to EVER use protection when it comes to intercourse and the DL phenomenon( if we’re honest we’ll acknowledge its there) can HURT you, if you’re not keeping yourself safe.

Keeping yourself safe doesn’t mean hoping that the person you’re with is being honest with you when they said they were “clean”.  (For starters in some cases the person may not know or show any symptoms of having any illness)  Being safe means that you minimize the potential to get in this situation. It means avoiding having casual sex at all. Further if the men black women are having sex with aren’t taking responsibility for themselves (and read Men’s statistics and you’ll see its bad too) black women are committing suicide by engaging in behavior with them. Maybe in other communities where women are infected at lower rates than black women can “afford” to have casual sex (though I highly doubt it) black women can NOT allow themselves to be a victim of this too; Something that can be taken down to 0% risk simply by NOT engaging. We already have enough on our plates.

 

Out of Wedlock Births:

In the “black community” 73 percent of births are out of wedlock meanwhile for Latinos the rate is  53% and for whites 29%. Considering the fact that black people are only 14% of the US population that is troubling.  Forget for the moment that black women “shouldn’t be abandoned by deadbeat men”. Obviously black women shouldn’t be abandoned, (DUH) but for it is doubly obvious for anyone who has escaped Blackistan that black women are ON THEIR OWN. I have said this a trillion times. Black women can only depend on themselves in the BC, especially when everything goes south. So for black women intentionally put themselves in a situation where they will be have 18 years of heart ache where they have to raise a child alone (especially when that wasn’t their choice) it is madness.

 

Marriage- This is specifically a problem for black women because black women especially are having the most problems trying to be able to finding suitable marriage partners. Black women also complain about how the dating market is not in their favor. Black women have not been told that they should try and find suitable partners while they are and may have an edge. For all of the complaining about a “man shortage” it is inconceivable that black women should spend their time having casual sex during their 20’s and then somehow confused and bewildered when they hit their 30’s, after all of their failed relationships and wonder why they can’t find anyone.

Emotional Toll- This is the thing is one of the most important aspects of casual sex/hooking up that I find that virtually nobody ever seems to consider. In fact, what should be the first thing that people consider before black women engage in hook up culture, it is always the last. In fact most people like to pretend (and it is pretending) that is the least important aspect. Women are  also told that this is not important and buzzwords like “exploration” “empowering” and “getting to know yourself” are thrown around without giving a thought to the downside. Emotional responsibility is everywhere.  If you read accounts of a lot of women who have hooked up or had casual sex afterwards the majority of these women end up feeling bad afterwards and have very negative feelings about the experience.

Even the women who when they were in their early twenties and said they were enjoying themselves and didn’t have any emotional problems, when retrospective studies were done, it was reported that these women found that they found these experiences regretful. Another theme that I continually see catching up to women is that these women who spent their time hooking up and having casual sex found that they engaged in the relationship because it was going somewhere  they thought it would turn into something more. Turns out these women felt duped when the men they were with didn’t want anything more than a hookup. Another theme I always see is how a lot of women say that while it was easy to have a hookup by time they wanted to get serious they didn’t know how. Meaning while they knew what they like sexually they had absolutely no idea how to have a meaningful relationship later.   Basically there has been a sharp interest on sexual identity there has been not enough interest on a relationship.

Reputation- This is something nobody wants to talk about but it would be insane if I didn’t mention it. Maybe for white women, they can afford to be promiscuous and have casual sex, because they are privileged enough that they will be seen as less damaged  in the eyes of society. But it would be impossible to say that black women are granted the same. Indeed most black women (who have admitted the truth) know that in 2012 a lot of society sees black women as hyper-sexual, angry, jezebel baby mammas who can’t get enough sex. This is the same reason why I didn’t cosign SLUTWALKS because for black women to willfully call themselves slut, knowing that because they are black they are already stereotyped as hypersexual is just ignorant.  Black women just can’t afford the hit to their reputation by being promiscuous, even if they wanted to. Yes in a perfect world people would see black women in a positive way without having to change perception themselves, but we don’t live like that and society is unfair.

Sex Workers- On one final note I wanted to talk about the black women who support pornography and prostitution, because this one is important too. In the feminist community there is the trope of sex positivism. ( The feminists who support pornography and prostitution because they see it as freeing). What black women aren’t told is that the majority of prostitutes are POOR, YOUNG (underage)  and BLACK.   See these women are saying that prostitution should be made “safe and legal” and yet these are the same women who claim that they know somebody who is a prostitute by CHOICE. These women are the 1% and it pisses me off to no end to hear from women who voluntarily get to choose. They are not forced and they can walk away at any time. Black women cannot afford to cosign behavior that is predominately going to affect them. They also can’t afford to cosign the objectification of women when they already know their reputation is in the gutters, as black women.

 

Reading this points I just made I don’t see how it is responsible or smart to promote or encourage (or at least blindly sit by and tell women that being promiscuous is A-okay) when women know that it can potentially hurt and/or ruin their lives.  For black women, it is downright suicide to cosign/engage in behavior that has risks that can potentially hurt you, especially considering black women are the MOST likely to be affected  by all of these things.  If women want to engage in behavior like this of course, they can do whatever they want, but I am not going to cosign, laud or accept promiscuity as good  (for men or women). Especially when I know how much black women are hurt by it every day.

http://www.cdc.gov/std/HPV/STDFact-HPV.htm

http://www.cdc.gov/nchhstp/newsroom/hsv2pressrelease.html

http://www.cdc.gov/std/stats10/minorities.htm

http://womenshealth.gov/minority-health/african-americans/stis.cfm
http://www.cdc.gov/hiv/topics/aa/

http://misunderstoodfinance.blogspot.com/2012/02/racial-and-educational-disparities-of.html

TO THE STOCKS THEN OFF WITH THEIR HEADS!!!!

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I want you to get a good look at the pictures above. Because this is the sort of action, (figuratively of course) I think that black women should take with our bashers and abusers. When someone bashes, abuses, publicly humiliates, or degrades black women, we CAN NOT afford to lay back silently. Instead we must publicly shame them. ie put them in the virtual stocks and  for their idiotic, racio misogynistic bullshit and then say off with their heads. Meaning once we have shown the world what pathetic morsels of humanity they truly are, we IMMEDIATELY and WITHOUT SHAME pull ALL SUPPORT of them.

Bougie Black girl did a post like this before called, Men In the Entertainment Industry who have dissed black women that Black Women Still Support… That I think you should read (I’m not posting a link but google it. I have read some of the comments and I don’t want those commenters finding their way here through a pingback.)

So like colonial times I will read off the crimes of the people below so we can all shame them and throw virtual rotten tomatoes at them. And then It’s off with their heads.

I will do these posts as I find people who have dissed black women. If you know of any blog about it so black women can STOP supporting them.

Lil Reese aka Reeses Pieces

His Crimes: Aside from proudly promoting gang culture among youth and being a GIGANITIC stereotype, this young BOY has showed the world his true colors by STOMPING on his childs mother and then showing no remorse UNTIL guilted in it.

OFF WITH HIS HEAD

DL Hughley AKA Mr. Irrelevant

His Crimes:

Aside from agree with racist don imus about the bw basketball team being “Nappy headed Ho’s” this old codger also wasted airwaves to smear black women by saying that “all black women are angry”and that the only black woman he could be married to was his wife.

OFF WITH HIS HEAD

Judge Lynne Toler aka Mrs. Black Male Identified

Her crimes:

If anyone has ever seen the show divorce court this woman loves to send black women back into horrible marriages to black men.( She doesnt do this with white women)  In fact in one episode (I will try and find the video) a black woman was married to a black man and she had pimped herself out for the man to support his drug habbit (who in the end told her he didn’t “ask her to do that”) Instead of getting this woman help for her low self esteem she sent her back into the marriage to a man who didn’t mind her doing this.

OFF WITH HER HEAD.

Nene Leakes aka Don’t stop the hustle

NeNe Leakes

Her crimes:

This woman aside from being a bad example for black women everywhere and ruining black women’s good image with her ghetto antics also had the nerve to say that nobody bought her essence cover because blacks don’t support eachother, totally missing the fact that she’s a classless clown.

OFF WITH HER HEAD

Keegan Michael Key AKA Who?

His Crimes

http://bossip.com/673199/matrimony-dom-quote-of-the-day-there-is-nothing-more-dangerous-on-planet-earth-than-a-black-wife-video-43081/

I never heard of this man until For Black Women Only Mentioned him on their page.  He makes offensive comments about black wives being the most dangerous on the Conan Show (near end of clip)

OFF WITH HIS HEAD

Sir Tyler Perry AKA Madea

You Know What You Did

OFF WITH HIS HEAD

Big Time Rush

Their Crimes:

If you have never seen this show on nickelodeon but you have kids who do, I would advise you not to let them watch this show. The boys themselves aren’t bad. But nickelodeon has proven that they DO NOT care about black women because they had no problem having ex pimp rapper Snoop Dog on their show for a Christmas special.

OFF WITH THEIR HEADS.

Well have fun eviscerating them.  And then cut them off. No financial support, No questions asked, NO Second chances.

Next time in post two of OFF With their heads we will be executing

Niki Minaj AKA The artist formerly known as Stupid Hoe

Chris Brown AKA social media is my only friend

And more!

Until Next Time,

Stay Neutral

Bombarded by the Media? Turn it off!!!!

 

There is a common theme in playing out over the web, or anywhere anyone is talking and it is that the media is bombarding us with foul imagery. On any blog (white or black) you can find people talking about the fact that television and American culture at large have gone downhill fast. To be honest those people wouldn’t be wrong. Hell you only have to turn on the radio and here the lyrics of Kesha describing how she woke up feeling like Pdiddy or how she brushed her teeth with a bottle of jack to know that these people aren’t wrong.  Every show seems (even children’s ones) to have some odd out of place sexual innuendo that is so blatant it’s sick

But what can a person like you or I do? How can we fight back against a system that is bombarding us with imagery designed to steal our humanity?

Quite Simply.

TURN OFF THE TELEVISION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Look this isn’t meant to be an attack. And this isn’t to give the creeps making these television shows a free pass. But we DO NOT have to be a victim!!!! We do not have to sit and watch filth when we do NOT want to watch filth and then lament about how unfair it is that our youth are “bombarded”. It is just plain folly.

YOU HAVE THE POWER!!!!

You are not chained to the floor. Nor are your eyes being forced to stay open. You DO NOT HAVE TO LOOK!!! The insanity of complaining about media while still consuming it makes no sense. It’s like letting a door to door salesman into your house and then complaining that he’s trying to sell you stuff you don’t like, don’t want and can’t afford! Tell him to LEAVE!  Turn OFF YOUR TV!

Hell I know it’s going to be hard. It was hard for me when I was weaning myself off television. But it *can* be done. You are not helpless. And they do NOT control you.

*To black women*

Something I have yet to understand about black women, who by our own words are the most disenfranchised group in the country, can sit and complain about racist, sexist television and then plonk their behinds right in front of the boob tube! It makes no sense

Or they’ll complain about misogynistic rap and then be the first one on ITunes to buy the new download, meanwhile shaking their collective heads at the injustices. It’s similar to how many black women complain about movies like Red Tails, Django Unchained, Precious, The Help and then go out in massive droves to watch and buy it.

You DO NOT have to watch your own degradation. If you don’t want to hear sexual innuendo or racism (and face it the people in the media love that) turn off the television!

The same goes for any other type of mass media.  I don’t buy magazines anymore. I used to have a subscription to Seventeen and Cosmo.  After realizing that seventeen was a waste of my money and realizing that COSMO was a slutty, sexist, and exclusive for white women. I literally ripped up the magazine and NEVER READ IT AGAIN!!!!!

I did not want that garbage  in my head and I did not want someone else controlling me and pushing whatever agenda they see fit. So I got rid of it. End of story.

The system is NOT going to be overthrown.

The powers that be are not going to be persuaded to play fair.  *Unless* they have an agenda. And they *always* have an agenda.

You DO Not need to teach lessons by protesting or making boycotts.  You will only win when you get rid of them completely. Your silence will speak for itself. To try to play the dozens with a machine more powerful than yourself will end up with you wasting your time and back where you started. And in truth they need you to be engaged and enraged. They need you just long enough to sell you whatever they want to sell you. If you walk away where will they be?

*Black women and “Role Models”

I’m always irked and somewhat baffled when I hear people in large society and black women in particular complain that there aren’t enough “role models” for black women and black children.  I am only in my early twenties and I do not have any kids at the moment but I don’t get why anyone is depending on television to provide role models for themselves and their children. I also don’t get why anyone would look towards Hollywood for self-affirmation. In fact I would even go so far as to say people would probably have less self image problems if they TURNED OFF THE TELEVISION.

I personally am not looking towards the Hollywood elite to tell me that I’m beautiful desirable and worthy of love.  And people who expect Hollywood to give their children people to look up to are just plain lazy parents because that should start at HOME.

I hate to sound like a conspiracy theorist but the makers of most television programs know what images they want to get out into the world. They are a relatively small group of people who control the majority of the stations. They are not interested in getting out positive images they are interested in pushing agendas.

I personally am not going to wait for a bone to be thrown, nor do I want my psyche penetrated by the images they decide should be important. If you are one of those people who spend your time with petitions trying to ban certain television shows (I was one of these people) or if you spend your time making yourself miserable about the lack of good black women.

The only advice I can give you is to TURN IT OFF!!

You’ll feel so much better once you do.

My moral delimma with Feminism

Even before my break with feminism I always felt a bit…shifty about some of the agendas that feminists had. In fact more than shifty I downright disagreed with and simply could not see the logic behind some of the choices that feminists, (white and black) have made.  Below I have highlighted a few of the agendas that feminists have that I disagreed with and why I ultimately found it very easy to walk away.

Promiscuity as a positive- This was one of the first things I’ve had a problem with.  Too many feminists that I encountered (black & white) promote the idea of sex without repercussions Honestly I just don’t think it’s possible. While there is so much talk of “empowerment”, “experimenting” and “getting to know your body” what I have gathered is there is little value in sex itself but only the notion of gaining experience. Later these same women can’t keep an emotional relationship to save their souls. I found that it was near impossible to align myself with people who think hooking up and casual sex are somehow good for women.

Virgin Shaming- Goes hand in hand with the top one. These same women who were constantly on guard for “slut shaming” had no qualms when it was the opposite. Being a virgin in high school (and still being one) My friends found me to be a novelty, and treated me as if I were a naïve fool or a simpleton just too unworldly to understand anything. Further there is a contempt and derision toward women who decide not to have sex yet or don’t believe in casual sex. These women are seen as brainwashed, nutcases, prudes, or people who are too buttoned down and need to “loosen up”. They’re also mocked relentlessly. In one article on Jezebel they called women who stayed virgins in their 20’s “smug” and on a Clutch article, some of the commenters scorned one celebrity who said she was a virgin.

Shaming….  Shaming- Another thing that I just couldn’t comprehend. Too many feminists that I’ve encountered just CAN NOT comprehend that just because you can do something doesn’t mean that it’s GOOD FOR YOU. Further for anyone who dares question the future downfalls of such behavior, they are immediately accused of shaming. For example if someone says that it may not be a good idea for women to indiscriminately have sex, or if someone says there may be emotional downfalls to watching pornography, they are automatically told they are “shaming” their fellow feminists. I’ve also noticed buzz words like “sex positive” thrown around or “pro (pick an adjective)” so if you don’t support x cause you’re just not being supportive and if you aren’t agree complacently then you MUST be shaming.

Sex positive- This is similar to the first one in the fact that feminists believe that anything that has to do with “free” sex is somehow “empowering”. For some reason women seem to think that if it involves sex (even in shady situations) You MUST being freeing yourself as a woman. For example I simply don’t understand the women who think that getting up on a pole, or prostituting yourself is empowering.  These women think that girls like Ke$ha are empowering or GIRLS (the show) is the way to live.  Ironically, and conversely these women somehow say that they don’t want to be “objectified in the media” or don’t understand why women have body and self-esteem issues OR why men don’t value them OR why men treat them like sex objects when they SELL themselves. They also can’t make the correlation between young girls trying to be sexy (and becoming sexual younger) and the culture they promote.  The underlying theme to be “sexy not sexual” is pervasive. Further, what I found even more disgusting than the obvious flaws in logic was simply the fact that the “causes” that these women support only benefit women in a higher social class (regardless of race). The women who support pornography DON’T care that the majority of female porn stars were recruited young and usually have emotional problems.  They don’t care that prostitutes worldwide are NOT prostitutes by choice (look at Asia and India specifically.)  They don’t care that the majority of prostitutes are recruited when they are under 18 and that sex trafficking is the fastest growing trafficking in the world.  They see themselves (the lucky ones) benefitting from it and they force the people who are not in the lifestyle by choice onto it. Meanwhile these women themselves aren’t prostitutes but they are likely the ones who claim to go to a strip club “for fun” while watching poorer women debase themselves. The absolute disregard from poor women (of all races) is absolutely retched.

Femininity- This is another biggy for me. Too many feminists think that anything that is traditionally “female” is subjugation. I’ve seen Jezzies mock women who like hello kitty, the color pink etc all because it’s not “empowering.” This is ironic to me because I don’t see how it is ironic to become “masculine”. How is taking on “male “qualities freeing?  Obviously they only value “male “qualities just like they claim men do. If you have to change yourself to be accepted you’re not truly free.

Career>Marriage-  Another theme feminists love to push is spending your 20’s building up a career and then waiting until you’re 30 to get married/ have kids. I don’t like this idea. I don’t put ever last shred of my emotional security into my career. I want to get married and have kids at a reasonable age( my20’s). Gasp! I find more value in family than I do my career. For those of who do though we’re called sell outs and shunned for “setting women back 50 years” and chaining myself to the kitchen.

Mountains out of Molehills- Another big one. I’ve seen too many women wasting their time “fighting” for causes that don’t matter.  The topless movement in NYC is a good example. These women are again wasting their time on things that are useless in the long run. Another good example is an article I saw about how some little girl (with her mother’s help I’m sure) a letter to the makers of the game Guess who because there weren’t enough girl pieces. Game pieces and whether you can walk around with your boobs out in public do not affect your quality of life, but from the causes feminists take up you would think this was the case.

Black Women: You will never be a protected class

You will never be a protected class

I’ve said this before but redundancy is becoming a past time for me now. The murder of Kassandra Perkins has proven that even when a black woman is killed there is no protection for her. In the aftermath of Kassandra Perkins murder, as Whataboutourdaughters.com is reporting black women are still largely being overlooked.

http://www.whataboutourdaughters.com/waod/2012/12/3/the-crucifixion-of-kasandra-perkinsvictim-blaming-black-mate.html

In fact, further than being overlooked, people have been downright brazen in their displays of sympathy towards Jovan Belcher.  For those of you that were so sure that this would the perfect opportunity for feminists to speak about how, domestic violence is still an issue for women. Especially BLACK women who are 11 times more likely as white women to be murdered while pregnant or a year after childbirth. I’m sure that you are shaking off your collective confusion as you slowly realize that it AINT GOING TO HAPPEN.

In fact, what should have been a FEMINIST issue and WOMEN’s issue turned into a conversation about the “larger issue” in society that has to do with gun control laws and mental health issues. The conversation has to do with how it was so surprising that such a seemingly nice guy could commit a heinous crime.

In fact the only mention that the Jezzies even attempted to make was to have one article covering the moment of silence at the first game and then another article  posted from of related site that talked about Jovan Belchers possible brain injury.

http://deadspin.com/5964841/reports-kansas-city-chiefs-lb-jovan-belcher-killed-his-girlfriend-drove-to-the-chiefs-practice-facility-and-killed-himself-%5Bupdating%5D

http://jezebel.com/5965029/before-kansas-city-chiefs-game-a-moment-of-silence-for-victims-of-domestic-violence

But I’m sure those of you who aligned yourself with (white) feminists thought they would help you out of a jam huh?  And if you haven’t already O_o then you probably will after you see how feministing.com also interestingly turned the conversation to “gun culture”

http://feministing.com/2012/12/03/football-player-murder-suicide-traumatic-brain-injury-and-gun-culture/

But I thought that white feminists just wuvved “women of color”. I thought we were sisters standing against the (white) man (because to call black men out too would be racist)? Hmmm, it’s interesting that NOW they chose to be silent.  Meanwhile, I’m sure you can guess WHY the focus has been on HIS emotional state and possible excuses, ahem, reasons for why he did what he did?  But if you’re going to be an ostrich and keep your head in the sand I’ll pull it out for you. SHE WAS A BLACK WOMAN. And from history and present I think data correlates to a trend that when black women are victimized they aren’t victimized. There is no feminist protection because her blackness keeps her from being regarded as a WOMAN therefore the issue JUST can’t be about domestic  violence/abuse against women. Because black and woman is an oxymoron and as we all know

ALL THE WOMEN ARE WHITE! (or at least non black)

Even these white feminists who supposedly care about the little people can’t seem to put their finger on the elephant in the room? Because then they would have to step away from their pedestal and see black women as equal to them.  Or accept that domestic  abuse can specifically be a black women’s issue.

As we know when it’s time for groups to be protected it is only by race or sex. Not both.  And just like I’ve said before Kassandra Perkins blackness kept her from being seen as a woman who was a VICTIM of domestic abuse.

But wait, wait, wait! Before you go scurrying back to the black community in the hopes for some understanding from your “brothas& sistas” I can tell you like it TI-s . IT AINT GOING TO HAPPEN.

What so said is that there was a piece in the Huffington Post about how black women who are murdered by men are most likely killed by GUNFIRE.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/josh-sugarmann/black-women-murdered-by-m_b_1981857.html

But from the comments of the black people, blacks don’t enjoy having their filth pointed out for the world. Especially when the victim is a black WOMAN. Because we all know that for black men to be shamed in front of the (white) world is de worst thing eva right?  Because domestic violence is a MALE problem not a BLACK male problem right?

It’s tragic that this article was written in October and had it gained enough attention by media and not been poo pooed away by black men apologists then maybe black women could have gotten the help they needed, instead of suffering in silence.

What’s even more ironic and infinitely telling is that the author of the article was a WHITE MAN.  Not a white feminist, not a black man concerned for his community, not even a BLACK WOMAN( Who I guess are now okay with hiding the truth.) Instead a white man had to point out the obvious, and was then accused of being called racist. And the people who actually found this article informative were accused by the bm apologists as trying to “separate” the legendary black community! I’m not making this up read the comments. Basically it was black men can abuse black women but it’s racist to say it out loud because that wouldn’t be Politically correct.

Because to acknowledge that black women can be victims of black men would make black men step of the privilege pedestal handed to them because of the gender. AND THAT AINT GOING TO HAPPEN! she’s a black WOMAN.  The only people who are protected from injustice in the black community are black MEN.

What’s funnier is that a few days ago I had long conversation with a commenter on my post

About why it’s divisive to walk away. Because we have to come together and fight oppression. I guess that doesn’t count when the oppressor is black men? I guess black women should suffer in silence? Because only Travyon Martin and Jordan Davis are victims.

I’d like to ask that commenter (who I don’t think is so smug now)…. Where are all of the marches? Where is the support for the victim’s family? Where is the outrage?  Where are the petitions, the gnashing of teeth, the praying to God about how an innocent life has been taken?   Where is this “UNITY” you spoke of? That you claimed I was destroying? Why is it only important to talk about black on black violence when it’s two men? I guess black women aren’t victims in the black community.

BECAUSE ALL THE BLACKS ARE MEN.

And it’s impossible for a black woman to be a victim of black men. Because she is a WOMAN. Because teh white man (never white women) and racism. Right?

You don’t have an answer do you? Because you know that “unity” has largely meant exactly what I said. Unity (allegiance at all costs to black men. Any black man) at the cost of black women’s LIFE.

But this is exactly what I thought would happen everyone hemming and hawing, and avoiding the truth and another black woman is dead with no thought to the WORTH of her life.

https://notyourgirlfriday.wordpress.com/2012/10/27/you-can-series-1-you-can-be-stop-being-politcally-correct-or-you-can-die/

Bougieblackgirl did a piece on kassandra perkins and had this link in her post

http://thefeministwire.com/2012/12/kasandra-michelle-perkins/

which led me to this post

http://thefeministwire.com/2012/04/silence-equals-death-sexual-violence-and-young-women-of-color/

 

*note* if links do not work copy and paste into address bar.