I can’t make this crap up.
Everyday I watch as black women get pulled further and further into a black hole that distorts and bends them this way and that and the worst part is that they don’t even see it.
[Again if you’re new here I’m going to have to ask you to read this article first
https://notyourgirlfriday.wordpress.com/2012/07/10/black-women-strategically-neutral-and-my-new-blog/ and the subsequent one called The Conundrum of the Black Feminist Movement Explained Further. This will explain everything that I’m saying now.]
I’m not sure if the women at clutch magazine ( the commenters) understand the concept of logic (in which case if you don’t please see my previous post, I wrote it with you in mind.)
Someone wrote an article
about how the only people the media focus on is the single mothers, but never the fathers who have pumped dumped and ditched. Her point was that because of this absentee fathers don’t have to take responsibility at all.
What I find funny is that as usual most of these ridiculous commenters don’t even realize that their sitting on a paradox. Remember when I told you that because of sexism black women would never be able to enjoy their civil rights fully. Well I’m saying it again. Most of the commenters on this article actually believe that if black women are ditched after the become pregnant it’s their fault because they knew the guy was a deadbeat.
Let’s point out the obvious here. Most women A) don’t expect to become pregnant when they have sex. (unless they were specifically trying)
B) Let’s stop pretending that deadbeats blow a trumpet and say “Hey I just want you to know before we get busy that I’m a deadbeat. If you get pregnant which you will because I know you’re not on birth control,and I’m not going to wear a condom, I’m going to leave you.”
Deadbeats don’t tell you they are going to treat you like shit, they just do. Hence the name deadbeats. And when deadbeats want sex they will say anything to get it. Because they don’t care.
Now let’s get to the point of why this is such insidious sexism. Because it blatantly excuses the men involved in this.
Let me paint you a picture
Imagine you are walking with your child home from school. The posted speed in a school zone is 25 miles per hour. And up ahead there’s a crosswalk. You either don’t notice it , or don’t care and you take it upon yourself to try and cross before the cross walk and Jay walk. All of the sudden a car barreling at 50 miles per hour jumps out of nowhere hitting you and your child.
Now of course the you are to blame because you should have gone to the crosswalk and waited until it was safe. But you didn’t. And now you and your child are injured. Would the driver get to drive off Scott free because you Jay Walked? I would think that would be highly unlikely. Because he wasn’t supposed to be speeding anyways. Forget the obvious stupidity of the mother, who is now in trouble for negligence. The person in the vehicle should never had been going faster than twenty five. Because going at such a speed doesn’t leave time to stop when Something like a child jumps out into the street. the speed limit allows you enough time to brake before somebody gets injured
Now put black women into the situation. Even if black women *knew* that the guy was a deadbeat (or that there were speeding cars) it doesn’t change the fact that THE CAR WAS SPEEDING!!! Or in this case black women having sex with a deadbeat and getting pregnant doesn’t absolve the man from responsibility, because “you knew he was a deadbeat” the guy still didn’t wear a condom, get a vasectomy, check to see if the woman was even using birth control (or that nobody was in the cross walk). In other words he doesn’t get to walk away because the woman is at fault. He still broke the law. He would have had enough time NOT to hit the child and brake if he’d been going slower. Because In school zones who knows when something unexpected could jump out.
But here’s the thing that I’ve been saying before. In the black community because of sexism the men involved get to walk away because they have gender privilege leaving the blame and the burden on black women. Black women don’t get any help because they are not men and they don’t get any sympathy. Basically the men involved get into their car, say adios and speed away, still going as fast as before where they will hit someone else. And subsequently leave them in the dust again.
Another commenter (two actually) pointed out the obvious mistake the readers had made
Pretty much…esp. since all of the “crazy” women they rail against STILL do not get pregnant in a vacuum. If you want to talk about devious trickster jezebels who spend of their time on their backs, the man still has to choose to have sex with her, and they are willing to do it without protection.
Male or female, you have to accept the responsibility that laying down with someone can result in a baby being created, so if you really don’t respect or even like that person, think about that. It’s nuts when I hear women talking about the evil tricksters out to trap their brothers, boyfriends, etc.
But we need to stop acting like women, whether supposed “schemers” out for a check or those who thought that they were in a committed lifelong relationship are the only issue in this discussion of single mothers. And their children are part of our community and world (esp. if for us as black people), so we should care what happens to them.
She’s scratched the surface but she’s definitely right. It’s what I’ve been saying all along. Because of black women’s gender they are not afforded the insurance of being able to call that driver back to pay for damages. When the cops come knocking at her door asking what happened. The blame will fall on her. And she will not be cut any slack. Because of her gender she will be told It’s all your fault. She will take on all the blame. Because she alone should have known better.