Now that I’ve unaligned myself with the black “movement” and the feminist movement, I feel like I’m a fly watching from the outside. I’m circling all of the events I can hear everything that people are saying and yet. I know that I don’t have to involve myself. Looking in on the outside and being an uninterested observer has caused me to be able to see everything while remaining emotionally detached. In fact, now, I can see how easily black women get pulled into conversations that are going nowhere fast, while in the name of helping a “movement” (Kind of ironic that it’s a movement when nothing MOVES.) So, for your help and enjoyment. Here are comments that, when you hear them, should immediately signal to you to walk away. If you haven’t already wised up and done so.
1. “I love black men; I love my father brother… (etc or some other family member or friend). Is this 1845 or 1970’s South Africa? I didn’t think so. I’m not an escaped slave, that has to show their papers to bounty hunters so they know that I am in fact free. I’m not required to temper every comment about the shitty behavior in the black community with a fucking disclaimer. I’m not your fucking mother. And I’m not here to pump up egos before I get to the fact that you’re screwing me over. This is just a tactic lost black women like to use so they won’t lose the piddly favor they have in the black community.
Note: This statement can also be subbed for “I don’t hate black men….” or “I’m not trying to bash black men….” blah blah blah.
2. “Black Men aren’t worse than any other group of men……” Who said they were? Why does saying stop stomping on me mean I hate you?Why do I as a black woman have to put this disclaimer up. Why do I have to pump black men up before I can say hey you’re hurting me. Why should I wash and wax your car before you move it from on top of me and acknowledge that you did, in fact, run me over.
3. “White Men do the exact same thing?” See #2. But I wasn’t talking about White Men now was I? Not to mention, where aren’t comparing them. It’s just a diversion.
Note: This can be subbed for ” why aren’t white men called out on the same shit?” or “Black women give white men a free pass because you crave white approval”
4. “You’re A Woman First Black Second” It’s a guilt trip it’s used to make you feel guilty it’s manipulation at it’s finest. Because while feminists are using privilege to keep themselves ahead of you, they are asking you to give up the same thing.
Note: This can be subbed for “You’re black first woman second.
5. “There are still good black men” “White men aren’t any better” I’ve noticed that whenever black women want to expand their horizons. In their dating options. Someone always wants to tell them that the following. We aren’t supposed to think anything but black cock is worthy. There is not point in trying to date out. In fact. You’re an asshole for, after being shitted on, trying to move out of the way. We are supposed to wait and wait. We aren’t looking hard enough. We only want thugs. You did something wrong. You. You. You You. You need to be fixed. Basically don’t expect any better from black men but don’t move on. Spend your youth. Look high and low and then after you’ve waded through shit, then you may move on to whomever you want. But you will still face disapproval if you do not acknowledge that you haven’t closed off your heart to good black men and you don’t acknowledge that you’ve been hurt. Or that it’s your fault you’ve been hurt.
6. “Black women are women of color…..”
This is hilarious, and usually spouted by un well meaning feminists. Unfortunately women of color I.e. asian women or Hispanic women don’t like black women anymore than anyone else, and very rarely care the an ally of black women.
7. “Black women need to learn their place.”
Self explanitory in its sexist douchiness.
8. “Rap doesn’t represent reality”, “it’s racist to say that all rap is sexist”
Usually this is spouted by black men defending the genre where the most popular music is misogynistic or white feminits trying not to be racist. What really happens is black men are given a free pass while black women who aren’t protected by race privilege are yet again smeared throughout the music. Also here’s food for thought. If a white man dressed up as a kkk member and sang I hate niggers, is that okay. Since really he’s not really that way? Should I sing a long? Burn a cross for fun?
9. “Matriarchy ( subtle word for manly black women) are the reason why the black community is in a shambles. See number 7. The community was in a shambles far before this. Black women just did what they had to do. And got painted by a sexist brush. But Male privilege allows black men not so see this, or care. Go figure.
9. “Why are we airing our dirty laundry to the world” (I.e. white people)
A silencer used to keep black women from seeking help from the outside. It tricks you into thinking your problems can be solved inside the community when really there is no community.
10. “Why are you targeting me? “
The women at Jezebel wondered why HBO’s Girls was being called on for not having women of color it makes black women run around in circles until they prove why. And keeps you from calling on their bad behavior. Or black men who want to keep you from noticing you’re effed. Like one bwe blogger said (evia? Halima?) it’s conversation loop you always end up back where you started. With nothing. And it’s a guilt tactic. The ultimate red herring.
So if you here these keep moving. They can’t help you. You won’t be able to stay neutral and You won’t benefit from the conversations.