Artist Spotlight

I’m going to be doing this once a week or even more, because I don’t think there are enough black women highlighted for their talents , in writing , music, etc.  Or just black women I feel are being a positive influence on other black women.

So without further ado here is a black woman on youtube that i think is very good at makeup and she provides great tips for black women. I think she gives great makeup tutorials, you if you’re interested in that check it out.


Black women, don’t dress a pig in silk!

I was lurking around Madame Noire, (yes I know), there was an article about how Trey Songz ( I’ve never heard any of his music) wanted to become the next Marvin Gaye. Anywhoo, the article was complaining that the song is offensive because he uses the word bitch in it. (article link : )

Anyways, most of the women on the site agreed that it was offensive but some of the comments there let me realize something: Too many black women want to have their cake and eat it too.   I’ll explain by this quote of the article:

And though I’ve been enjoying the moves T.I. has been making as of late, I have to give him a severe side eye as well. I noticed he didn’t say the word b–ch in his verse but even being associated with this lazy, mediocrity is not a good look when you have a teenaged-step daughter. Is that how you’ll want men to refer to her when she and her girlfriends go out to the clubs in a couple of years?

I bolded and italicized the last part of the quote because I wanted to bring attention to that in particular.  I think one of the many  reasons why black women have yet to pull themselves out of the pit they are in is because they don’t completely cut themselves off from what is hurting them. Black women still think they can listen, watch, and pay for crap that is harming and that they will come out okay.

Black women, and a lot of other raced women really, think they can surround themselves with garbage and come out without a stench.   It’s the reason why I never have, and never will go to  clubs. No the idea of clubs aren’t inherently bad. But the bottom feeders who are there change that situation.

Here is what is wrong with the quote;   Black women have yet to realize that going to the clubs is not the place to get respect.  I repeat going to a club is not the place to look for respect.  Black women thinking that the  bottom feeders circulating in clubs are going to care about black women enough to not call them a bitch.  It’s the same thing with stupid women who think they can meet the love of their live in a bar.

I highly doubt that is going to happen, most quality people aren’t in bars, and most bottom feeders are there to feed on people who don’t know any better. Same with this quote.  Instead of trying to shame a bottom feeder like TI to change lyrics, these women should be concerned that their daughters are hanging out in “clubs” if i had a daughter I wouldn’t want her hanging around in clubs at all. Because the deadbeat to good guy ratio is completely wack!

Here is a comment on the article;

This is exactly how I felt about Fat Joe’s verse in Chris Brown’s song “Another Round”. Really? Now I like CB as far as his talent is concerned. His personal life may be a little sketchy, but when I heard Joe’s verse, I cringed. I now forward the song past Joe’s verse in an effort to enjoy the rest of it. You don’t have to be crass to make a good record. Sadly too many of us support them so they will keep putting it out there.

Again this woman acknowledges that there is something wrong with the lyrics, and yet all she does is “fast forward”. She doesn’t stop listening to Chris Brown who obviously supports Joe and his disgusting lyrics. No she fast forwards. Again, black women thinking that they can wring about of goodness out of a dry, dirty well.  More and More black women are making excuses and allowing filth to seep into their lives.

Once you let one filthy thing into your life you automatically leave room for something else to worm its way in. It is not enough to just fast forward a song with a filthy part. Because you are still letting the person who created that soul destroying person into your life. You are still allowing them to have power by buying there music AT ALL.

For black women to have true freedom, we must close off the holes in their life where crap is being allowed in.  You can’t have both.

Just because they’re your family, doesn’t mean they have an agenda.

Before I get started I want to acknowledge the fact that I have been away for so long. I was busy writing a novel! Anyways, I’m finally finished with that. So expect more post, than previously.

Okay now to the normal post. I should start out by saying that I love my brother. He’s a great kid. (he’s about to turn 20 next month) But I have to be honest, the last person I would ever take advice from, for dating, racism, life, etc is him.  For one thing he’s immature.  And for another he speaks from the usual perspective of the Black Male collective.  Which means he’s got a larger agenda, when

Let me explain, about a month or so ago my family was going to watch the movie, Honey 2 (starring Kat Graham who plays Bonnie on the Vampire Diaries) anyways when he came down he didn’t realize that the movie was going to be starring a black girl ( or someone who is playing one.) anyways he complained, “I thought this movie was going to be about her (pointing to the white woman on screen.)  I’m guessing he assumed that because the last honey movie had Jessica Alba.

Here is my point, my brother was almost disappointed that he would have to watch a black woman on screen. UNTIL and I all caps this because here is the kicker.,  UNTIL  he realized that the love interest was a white man. Then he had a problem with the fact that the love interest wasn’t a black man.  And a problem with the fact that in the movie the “white man again comes in to save the day” I rolled my eyes on the inside because it is classic black male thought process.  He doesn’t want to see black women on screen would rather see a white woman but then the minute they show interracial love he has a problem with it. Why?  Because deep down he wants to make himself feel good about seeing *black love* on television.  He wants to see himself, when he wants to.And he certainly doesn’t want to see a white man date a black women! Why, that’s scandalous.

My brother has also made comments to me that he envisions me marrying a “thug” because I somehow remind him of a black girl that used to go to school with him and only liked thug men. And that he could only see me marrying a black man. He’s also said to me and my younger brother that we’d better not marry someone white. Because that’s being a “traitor”

Here is my point. Don’t think that because black men are your brothers/fathers/uncles/ cousins  that that they don’t have an agenda. They do. And they will use you to get it. My brother doesn’t care about black women (he goes for the light, bright women) but doesn’t want black women to date out.

This can be lethal to a black woman whohasn’t seen this bull crap all over the web. I’m on to him and I told him he sounded like an idiot and a racist.  I  told him to shut up.. But a lot of black women aren’t aware of the way that their own black relatives play into their own demise,as their guilted into dating who their family tells them to.
I can’t stress enough how important it is for black women to think critically for themselves if they want to be successful because even your own family may not have your best interests at heart.