Walking Away From The “Black Community”

This is my first post on a new blog. And, as my first post, I want to let you all know where I stand on the “black community”.  The truth is I would advise you to walk away.   Here is why: Quite simply, I  cannot think of anything that has directly affected black women, that wasn’t a trickle down reaction because of the black males rights movement.  Honestly, I can not see what black women have gained from aligning themselves with black men. No, I don’t wan to bash black men. In fact for whatever rights they have gotten for themselves, I applaud them. But I have to say that’s as far as it goes. because I know that as a black women I only have those rights because black men wanted them for themselves. And even at times when they got rights  they didn’t and don’t necessarily affect any of us black women. Case in point, people love to talk about the ending of slavery and how great it was for black people. But when I think about this I have to ask really? Because as I remember when black “people” were free and gained the right to vote black women still could not. Because they were women. For all the fighting during slavery, all the essays by black women like Harriet Ann Jacobs.   Black women still had no rights because as women they couldn’t vote.  Which in its own way is a slavery upon itself, if you are still controlled by black men.

So I would suggest when thinking about whether you want to continue to “fight the good fight” against “the man” and be a “sistah” in the army against racism you remember who you are fighting with and what you are fighting for. Ask yourself if the white man is your biggest enemy at this time? Or is it black men? Or white Women (I write about this in the next post) ? Because from where I’m standing in this moment, the black community doesn’t value the rights of black women  at all. They put more stock in the lives of actual criminals.  It’s practically treason to “snitch” to the police. So black women have to suffer while criminals run rampant in the community. While the men who claim to love their “sistahs” slowly destroy them. I would suggest before jumping on the bandwagon, you ask yourself what black men have done for your individual, black women’s rights? Can’t answer? I didn’t think so.  You don’t have to agree with me. I’m only one woman with one perspective. Bu from where I’m standing  black women haven’t gained anything with the help of black men or the community. It’s time for us to pursue other options. Time to be  one less soldier.

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21 thoughts on “Walking Away From The “Black Community”

  1. Where to begin… I think that your way at looking at the issues of the Black community miss a very complex picture. The reason why Black people cannot come together and solve our problems is because we are so divided. It’s man against woman, young against old, light skin against dark skin… the list goes on and on and on. In other words, the Willie Lynch letter, whether it’s real or not, is very true.
    There’s nothing wrong with having your perspective driven by the fact that you are Black and a woman. It becomes a problem when you intentionally want to seperate to help a suposed greater good that really isn’t even good. The Black heros of our past, MLK, MX, Angela Davis, Huey, Garvey, Tubman, Soujourner, they did not fight for Black men. They fought for Black people. It’s true that the concept of fighting for Black people was histroically without full recognition of Black women’s particular issues, which is why many of our leaders fought also for the status of Black women. The fact is, Black women cannot be totally emanicipated without Black men, just as Black men cannot be totally emacipated without Black women. We are inner-connected. Brothers and sisters. When Jim Crow ended we were all benefited. When segregated schools ended we all benefited. When we get ourselves out of the economic slump we are in we will all benefit. And truth be told, Black women recieve the upperhand in school admissions and in the work force. Black men are far more incarerated as well. Yet when they are emanciapted from those issues we will benefit. And when issues that are particulaly devastating to Black women, HIV AIDS, misogomy by our brothers, when these issues come to an end Black men will benefit from that as well.
    The divide and conqur method has always been used to keep us down, whether in slavery, colonialism, or political oppression. The more we waste time promoting division instead of unity, the longer things won’t change. Let’s educate Black men on the struggles of being a Black woman, rather than allienating ourselves.

    • I really enjoyed this post and could not agree with it more. It amazes me that there are so many BW still in denial of the obvious. But thankfully, BW are waking up and smelling the java every single day.

      @beautifulmind
      “Things will not change” so long as Black women foolishly hope that Black men will sacrifice their own Male Privilege to boost the fortunes of Black women! Especially since most BM openly admit that they resent the hard fought (alone) success of BW! And many even make videos and create blogs to explain that they HATE BW for being seen by non-Blacks (who they desperately want the approval of) as smarter, more accomplished, persevering, enterprising and resilient than BM. They hate BW most of all for refusing to allow ourselves to be ground down collectively by misogynist BM and non-Black racists (let’s face it, usually WW). Pretending that you do not know or notice this does not make you compassionate or understanding, just part of the problem that is the “Black community”.

      Black women are more likely to go to college because BW value education more than BM. BM go to prison more, because BM think that they should not be held to the same standards of Human conduct that the rest of Humanity (BW included) is held to. I have heard young BM BRAG loudly about going to and just getting out of prison in public spaces! I feel no pity for such “men”. The fact that they are Black means NOTHING to me.

      Play ostrich and soldier on, if you wish, but you will find your fellow sister soldiers growing fewer in numbers as time passes.

      • You can feel that way, but you are not contributing to the solution. I’m not about sitting here complaining about how BM treat BW and BM this and BM that. I’m above all that. All I’m about is us coming together, anything that doesn’t accomplish that is not gonna help any of it. PERIOD.

        If we looked at history we would know that all these little divides we have have a history behind them. It’s called divide and conquer. We’ve been pitted against each other since slavery and sadly, many of us have taken the bait.

        There are many ignorant Black men and women that say things about the other gender to put them down. I don’t know how many languages to say it in, BM who talk bad about BW are just as guilty of that ignorance. End of the day, BW and BM can fight all day long, or say ok, we have differences, lets figure them out, educate ourselves on where this came from, and go forward in love, cause keeping the strife going isn’t benefiting anyone except White America.

        That’s all I’m saying. That’s like me a dark skin woman sitting here saying how bad light skin woman have treated me and how dark skinned women need to fend for ourselves. That’s stupid and Black emancipation has no time for that. There are historical reasons why these woman treat me this way. They also do not represent all light skinned women. Going about it that way is counter-intuitive and reactionary. I’m for unity. Period.

        • “You can feel that way, but you are not contributing to the solution. I’m not about sitting here complaining about how BM treat BW and BM this and BM that. I’m above all that. All I’m about is us coming together, anything that doesn’t accomplish that is not gonna help any of it. PERIOD.”

          First off, you have obviously NEVER read a single post on my blog if you believe that I am complaining about BM. I can’t even honestly claim that I have ever been done wrong by a Black man. Though I’m sure it helps that I have only dated one BM seriously. When I do discuss men, I discuss them all as “men”. Second, if you truly believe what you are saying, why aren’t you preaching this to BM? Last I checked, most BW have always been ready to ride and die for a “brotha”. When has a brotha been willing to do the same for a “sista”? And if you are preaching “unity” on BM blogs, please, share the links.

          The thing is, I can’t help but notice that BW like you are always trying to get BW to stand by BM no matter what, but seem afraid to preach “unity” to BM (the ones who have always needed to get the memo) because they know that 90% of BM could care less about that unless it benefited them directly. There is no reciprocity between BM and BW. Never has been. Black women have always given (to their own detriment) to BM and gotten little or nothing in return.

          ” There are historical reasons why these woman treat me this way. They also do not represent all light skinned women. Going about it that way is counter-intuitive and reactionary. I’m for unity. Period.”

          I could tell you about all the dark-skinned Black women who have treated me like crap, as if I made myself light-skinned just to spite them, but like you I also understand where that comes from. And it’s besides the point in this particular discussion, because I have no more privilege than any other BW outside of the color-struck BC. The same is not true for BM, regardless of how dark or light they may be. Also, and this is the part that you really need to pay attention to, you cannot have unity with ANYONE who hates you, even when you share the same ethnicity. It’s just not feasible. And many (not all) BM are making it painfully clear that they despise BW and want to destroy us – physically and mentally. And their stupid, self-hating BW cheerleaders are more than willing to assist.

          I’m curious, what did you think when you heard that athlete Jovan Belcher murdered the mother of his child and committed suicide? Were you feeling sorry for him, or his victims (which includes the child he left fully orphaned)?

          But since you didn’t even read the blog hostess’ comments, or at least you didn’t respond to any of the excellent points that she made, I seriously doubt that you will be reading or responding to mine either. Oh, well. Take care, and good luck.

        • Actually if you read ANY of my other posts you would realize that the entire reason behind this blog is to get black women to wake the HELL UP. All you see is buzz words like black and civil rights and automatically think that you know what I’m talking about. But let me tell you, I’m talking about black women wasting their time on a system that CAN NOT WORK. No I’m serious the system is created to help those from the TOP Down. Again you should really read the PDF. Because you don’t get it.

          If you think you’re so intelligent, why spend time here. Do you think you can proselytize to me? I’m sorry I won’t put my well being and my life’s happiness away for the good of black men. And in the “black community” because of sexism the only people who benefit are black men. And that’s not bashing. That is how the system works. TO tell me to shut up or try and guilt me or other black women like me because it ruins your misguided idea of “unity” is ridiculous. I will not spend my time doing it. if you want to spend your life as a race warrior with no rewards good going, but don’t involve me or my readers and don’t try and use shaming techniques. In fact I wrote a post about what you’re doing although I’m sure you won’t read that either.

          https://notyourgirlfriday.wordpress.com/2012/09/09/black-women-shaming-101/

          good luck in your endeavors. But I feel that my only hope to be happy as a black women is shed the ideologies and dreams (and yes at this point they are dreams) of a united black unity. The time for that has passed (in my eyes). I don’t want to be involved in the “fight”.
          And I refuse to get involved when I know I DO NOT have the weapons to accurately do anything. MEN build up communities, and only mules think that they can carry it by themselves. I am no mule.

        • @blackfemaleculture
          I did read the blog host’s comments and yours. However if I don’t have anything different to say then I don’t comment.
          But to comment on some things you said, you assumed I don’t go telling BM the same thing. Why you assumed this I don’t know, but so you know I certainly do, and do so more than I do with BW. No I will not share links, I’m not on trail and have nothing to prove, nor anything to lie about.
          No I never read your blog, nor was I commenting on you or your blog, but rather your comment.
          But here’s what I come to realize and why at the end of the day I respect both of you ladies opinion. If you or I want to believe something then we can find reasons to believe it. The proof exist for both sides, which means it’s up to the individual to decide what makes sense, and what works.
          And one last comment, someone saying we need to work out our differences and work together is not equivalent to “BW you need to stick by BM sides.” I think we need to stick to eachothers sides

          @onelesssoldier

          Now THIS :
          “TO tell me to shut up or try and guilt me or other black women like me because it ruins your misguided idea of “unity” is ridiculous. I will not spend my time doing it. if you want to spend your life as a race warrior with no rewards good going, but don’t involve me or my readers and don’t try and use shaming techniques. In fact I wrote a post about what you’re doing although I’m sure you won’t read that either.”

          If there’s one thing I can’t stand is when people can’t take others opinions on their blogs and look instead for universal consensus, so I won’t be back to the joy of you and your readers.

        • @beautifulmind

          yes you did read my commments but you didnt click on the links and you responded with the usual response about how I was basically painting all black men with the same brush. Its funny that you have only ever read the FIRST post that I have ever made and already you THINK you know what Im talking about. (I notice you also didnt address what I said in my last comment about why I say the things I do.

          Saying we need to stick together IS saying that BW you need to stick to BM sides. Obviously if it wasnt you wouldnt have had a problem with what I had to say. NOt only that but in the black community the only way blacks stick together is when black women SACRAFICE for the supposed greater good and yet get nowhere because of sexism.

          Too bad you didnt stick around long enough to click my links or read my other posts.

          Good Day.

          Onelesssoldier

        • so basically, I gather from this article:

          1) Until Black women’s struggles and issues are taken seriously and addressed within the Black community FIRST, there will be no true racial or sexual equality for Black women and Black people as a group will have no chance to overcome white supremacy?

          Issues BW Face within the BC= the sexual exploitation, domestic abuse, colorism, sexism/double standards,verbal/emotional abuse online and in black media, trafficking etc.

          Racial Issues BW Face outside of the BC= incarceration, underemployment, unequal pay, racist foster care system, mass suspension/expulsion in school, misrepresentations in the media, police brutality etc.

          And basically the race based approach and feminist based approach to addressing these issues as separate, in effect, marginalizes those who come at the intersection, namely black women.

          Is that the bottom line? You know what might be helpful, graphics or a venn diagram or a T chart to help people understand what is meant when the term intersectionality is use.

          So in conclusion, Black women who aren’t being supported inside of outside the Black community should just take a neutral stance?

          Is what I’m getting from this article correct or no?

        • That is basically what I am saying. I am also saying that BM and WW who come from these groups benefit from this inequality and thus are not going to give up these privileges. I would also like to mention that although these groups claim anger at the WM who are supposedly oppressing them, THEY are quick to align themselves with these same men. For example black men who “speak out” against racism have no issues bedding the WM daughters nor do they have issues enacting their sexism against black women. and white women who claim that the white men are sexist don’t mind using racial privilege. These privileges are for THEM and what keeps them from being from the so called “bottom”. I think I did try and make a small diagram but I should probably update that for people who are new to my site. I would suggest you read the articles under the tab “posts you may want to read first” as I go into depth on this topic.

          On another note I think the most important thing for black women to realize is that any privileges gained for “civil’ rights or Sexism” will largely go unused by black women because black women can’t access any rights accessed by BM because they are women and “Feminists” exclude black women from their policiys because we are BLACk basically its a zero sum game with black women on the losing end. That is why I say black women should stay NEUTRAL. Please read my other posts or at least the ones under the tab as I explain it better.
          DO you have any other questions?

      • Thanks, I’m glad you like it. And agree with all of the points in your comments. I’m glad more and more bw are realizing that the privileged people in their “movements” are not going to give up said privilege for black women.

  2. I don’t believe it’s possible to get through to a woman who has decided to be blind to any evidence that doesn’t fit into her fantasy of Black unity, so it’s a waste of time to try. It really make me sad to see beautiful, intelligent (if delusional) BW like beautifulmind wasting their lives chasing after a fantasy that only they, and women like them, are the slightest bit interested or invested in.

    And Just like you, I have also seen, heard and been told by BM, that they do NOT like, much less love, sista soldier types. When BW march in the streets and put themselves in harm’s way to fight for the right’s and privileges of BM they have no problem letting BW do that, BUT they do not appreciate it. I have heard BM say that such BW are “emasculating” them and making them look “weak and pathetic” in the eyes of non-BM (particularly WM, whose respect they desperately crave) because such BW are doing what the menfolk know that they SHOULD be doing, even if they have chosen not to.

    Men do not want to be rescued by women! It doesn’t matter if the man is Black, White, Asian or Latino. They hate when women TRY to rescue them, and they hate women who HAVE rescued them – this includes helping them start a business, paying for their education, financing their lifestyle, etcetera. Only a woman who has never had a relationship with a normal (and honest) man would be unaware of this facet of male psychology. Basically, it’s a no-win situation for a BW.

    BW are emasculating, unfeminine, undesirable, she-males if they are willing to be sista soldiers, and “sell-outs” if they live their lives for their own betterment, happiness and well-being. It’s not a coincidence that most sista soldiers have never been married. And as long as BW like beautifulmind continue trying to “unite” the BC, something only BM could do in this patriarchal society, they will find themselves forever the objects of BM contempt.

    I hope, someday, she and all the other BW like her recognize the truth of this and create lives that make THEM happy.

  3. I posted this on BWWOB FB and went to give the drone “beautiful mind” a piece of my mind at her link. Those brainwashed BW make me sick I’m tired of them trolling as bamboozled drones supporting a sick community and trying to nag at US instead of laying the blame squarely in the lap of those who deserve it. Asian women don’t fight for AM nor WM! WW don’t fight for WM! Only a dumbass BW continues that last century slave talk!

    • Thanks for reposting!

      I left a comment on her blog, trying to be civil but it quickly turned into how I wasnt doing enough for the black collective. I dont understand why people who care about black nationalism come on this blog.

      “Asian women don’t fight for AM nor WM! WW don’t fight for WM! Only a dumbass BW continues that last century slave talk!”

      You are so right. I refuse to do fight for men, that is NOT my role. You would think the way some black women go on about slavery they LIVED it.

      Btw, I love your blog.

  4. This was a great article. People don’t seem to realize that black nationalism is a choice, not a life sentence. I think that the black male collective is DEFINITELY the enemy and I don’t think individual white women are but I think that institutionalized feminism is.

    Harriet Beecher Stowe wasn’t black. Was that a typo?

    Peace.

    • “People don’t seem to realize that black nationalism is a choice, not a life sentence”

      This! I don’t know why so many people think that being a black nationalist is something you HAVE to do. I have never felt any obligation. I am a free agent.

      “Harriet Beecher Stowe wasn’t black. Was that a typo?”

      Yes! Thanks for pointing that out. I’ve corrected it in my article. Harriet Beecher Stowe wasn’t black but she was a slave abolitionist. I actually meant to put Harriet Anne Jacobs, who wrote Incidents in the life of a slave girl.

      Btw I love your blog!

    • I think that the black male collective is DEFINITELY the enemy and I don’t think individual white women are but I think that institutionalized feminism is.

      You are right about this. the black male collective has gone out of its way to treat black women viciously. White women at the very least dont have such pure unfettered hate for black women.

      Aside from the hypocritical feminist collective, most white women are fine.

  5. Hello there! Do you use Twitter? I’d like to follow you if that would be ok.
    I’m definitely enjoying your blog and look forward to
    new posts.

  6. I really like this post and blog. I believe more Black women especially young, Black women need to heed and hear this message expressed in the blog because it is either a life or death situation nowadays. If a young, Black American woman wants to survive and thrive in the global economy and outer world, she must distance herself from the Black collective. The Black collective will bring down a young, ambitious, smart Black woman who is trying to better herself in society with the misogynist Black males who just want to sex, pump and leave her with out of wedlock children to the Black women who want to see her fail to make themselves feel better about their plight. Thus I think they are better off without the interference of the Black collective.

    I view the Black male and Black female relationship as a give and take relationship. Black women continue to give all of their time, energy and resources into uplifting, protecting and support Black man’s causes without getting anything in return. Black men continue to take and take everything Black women gives him. Personally, I don’t view this type of codependent relationship as beneficial or even healthy to the Black female collective. That is why I suggest more Black women distance themselves from the Black collective especially the Black male collective.

    Black women don’t need the Black man because the Black man isn’t protecting or uplifting Black women or children or even their biracial children for the matter of fact. What Black women need is each other. We need to come together and protect ourselves from those who harm us. We need to provide a safety net for young Black girls to fall back on when they experience rape, street harassment, racism, colorism, sexism, structural racism etc.in wider society and in their own communities. Most of all, we need a group of like minded Black women to come together and fulfill such goals.

    P.S. I have a blog called Black Feminist Haven where I speak about issues Black women face in society. If anyone is interested in reading it, do so. Here is the link to the blog:

    http://blackfeministhaven.com/

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