When You Become the Face of an Impotent “Movement” Be Ready to “Reap The Whirlwind” When It Goes Limp.

Hi ladies,

I wanted to start off by saying that you all need to read and share this post by Muslim Bushido. And if you can think of any “Marie Antoinette” black women celebrities who support the likes of that pedophile black man please name them in the comments. (Muslim Bushido started this list but I’ll add to it if I can find anyone). I don’t want to be associated with these people. Heck, I don’t want to be associated with people associated with these people.

http://muslimbushido.blogspot.com/2016/07/cut-mammy-loose-im-boycotting-every.html

Moving On,

Let’s talk about the stupidity of being involved in a movement for defeated, weak men. Men who have yet to get off their ass and build anything of worth or value to their communities.  Men who largely depend on Black women AND White men to NURSE them and provide for their basic needs they are too useless to provide for themselves.

Somewhere along the line black women decided that joining into a movement like this would be a good idea. They believe that since the police shot someone who looks like them (even if said people are career criminals, gangbangers, thieves and pedophiles) that it would help the “collective” of black people (i.e. Black phallus) if black WOMEN fight, defend, get shot, get beat, get tased etc for these useless bottom feeding black men.  The same men, by the way, that won’t bother to fight for them if they…I don’t know… get stabbed to death on the subway.

Even though numerous black women have attempted to be the voice of reason, I’m sure that there are some of you out here who are crazy enough to believe that if you just take enough bullets, the black man will see your sacrifice and love you enough to finally be a man. So I’ll be another voice of reason in the middle of all this madness.

You are wasting your time.

Since that wasn’t enough to convince you, let me paint you a picture of the consequences of what happens when black women decide engage in idle worship to their own detriment.

https://notyourgirlfriday.wordpress.com/2016/05/14/idle-worship/

WHEN YOU ARE THE FACE OF AN EMASCULATED MANS “MOVEMENT” AGAINST OTHER MEN, IT WILL FAIL

I have said this before and I’ll say it again. This world is a patriarchy. That means men fight men. That does not mean that woman try to take on MEN. And especially not POWERFUL men they have no resources to defeat. YOU, black women, will never defeat the men you are so desperate to take down. Men who have been propping up the black males in your communities who are too useless to pull you out of poverty or do for self.

You have neither race nor gender privilege and in most cases no class privilege either. (Because you stupidly keep giving your resources to these ingrates.) “Your” men have proven that in the global arena they cannot and will not fight for what is right. THEY cannot keep up globally with their male peers. They are a failure.  A community is as only as strong as its men and black men have proven collectively that they are a limp noodle. Most black men have given up having any sort of property/ assets of their own and most now believe that their biggest assets are nonblack women that they pump what puny resources they have into.

So, this latest black female fueled tantrum on behalf of black men is destined to fall apart. Because there are NO masses of MEN mobilizing for a long term plan or attempting to do more than whine about what black women and white men haven’t and won’t do for them.  There are no thoughts of developing infrastructure, long term goals for how to get blacks as a whole out of the DITCH they helped themselves into. It is only a matter of time before the lazy and weak black men who have relied on Black WOMEN, with less resources and privileges themselves, (and for hundreds of years) go back to what’s comfortable. And that’s coming to the table with absolutely nothing and blaming the only groups holding them up for their collective failures as a man. This is a passing amusement nothing more. But black women are coming to the table as if these men are serious.

Having your Face be what the 7 billion + people of the worlds see when they google this mess means that you will be the “Marie Antoinette” when things ultimately go wrong.

I think it was Khadija (correct me if I’m wrong) who coined the term Marie Antoinettes. And I think in this case it is reasonable to use this term again. There is a mass of uneducated black women who can’t FATHOM that THEY will be the one to reap the whirlwind when black men ultimately abandon black women back into the abyss the pulled them out of. Since black women are too willfully blind (i.e “Special snowflake”) to realize they are only selectively used. Once black men get whatever thrills they need, the will put their army away and return to their nonblack families.  When the few black men who are involved in this movement ultimately realize that getting out of drudgery is actual WORK and decide it’s too rich for their blood, that they have NO *actual* resources to fight these white men, and they don’t WANT to, Black women will become the marie antoinettes and be targeted for having their FACES be part of a failed, impotent movement.

http://muslimbushido.blogspot.com/2013/02/bf-marie-antoinettes-special-snowflakes.html

You will be blamed by those same penises you are protecting WHEN it all falls apart

This is obvious. But I’ll spell it out anyway. When this “movement” inevitably falls apart YOU will be the one blamed. Just like the girlfriend of one of the men who was killed is now being blamed for the man’s death (instead of the officer) you will be blamed for black men’s failures and impotence.

You will be blamed for being “Too masculine”, for not showing up enough, for not giving enough, for not taking enough bullets, for “wearing the wrong hat” (yes this actually happened) etc.  These men will get on media (doesn’t matter which) and GLOBALLY place all blame on Y-O-U.  And because they have MALE privilege and actively USE IT, the world will lick up the sob story they’ve been peddling for the past 50 years.

YOUR image will be BURNED in Mainstream (i.e. white) ,media when the blowback comes to singe these ignorant “Marie Antoinettes”

You’d think with ALL the posts I’ve written about black women’s image in the media and larger society, along with the ones BWE original bloggers have written, this would be something black women are hyper sensitive about.  And yet, here we are.  Once black men have effectively blamed you for anything that will absolve them of being bottom feeders YOU will be blamed the rest of society for the violence and unrest. YOU will be the one to be called “combative” and masculine. YOU will be known as a threat to any racist police officer who you have the misfortune to cross paths with. (Although in actually you have no privilege) Oh and since GLOBALLY, men know most black women (American at least) are NOT protected and have NO privilege or resources (because they handed them freely to black men),  they WILL get away with terrorizing you.

Please read these post by Muslim Bushido.

http://muslimbushido.blogspot.com/2016/03/dystopia-now-part-2-reaping-whirlwind.html

http://muslimbushido.blogspot.com/2015/01/african-american-women-heres-some-of.html

You are being the spokesperson for a very unpopular movement while Black men rest at home.

Many black women, who’ve developed mass delusions bred from social media activism and TUMBLR communities don’t seem to realize that the larger society as a whole DOES not CARE about “black lives”. (i.e. useless black men who can’t pull themselves together or contribute more than masses of fatherless children) Functional societies do not care that thug black men who terrorize their communities are killed. These people are not sparing “black lives” any thoughts and many are siding with these cops.  Since black men are largely absent and useless, black WOMEN of course have taken it upon themselves to become the spokeswomen for men who won’t even fight for themselves. In fact, women had to conceived and put BLM into action FOR these men.

So, when everything ultimately falls apart black women will be left holding the bag. Which should be soon now that the petition to have BLM declared a terrorist group has now a surpassed 100,000 signatures and will now be reviewed by congress. Black Women are mostly going to be the ones having to explain that they aren’t really terrorists and public nuisances. Even though they’re out doing stuff like this:

If I’m not mistaken I haven’t seen fool black men sacrificing themselves and getting arrested. Black WOMEN are the ones who are doing that mess. And THEY will be the ones on the FBI lists. Black men as a whole have decided to sit this one out.

Further, for those who say I’m fighting for my “brothers… cousins _____ insert male phallus here” I’d like to pose the question: Why are THESE men never fighting for themselves?

The fact that you have no limits and no morals concerning who you will protect is completely visible to the world. They know you have no standards and it is putrid people who have values. YOU ARE REPULSIVE.

The world can see that black people are willing to defend and defile themselves for criminals, thieves, gangbangers and killers. They see that you are willing to be a part of a movement that attracts deranged black men like that cop killer. And that you are part of a movement with these deranged men who are defending black men with loose morals.

They know that, globally, black women put up with any sort of putrid behavior from black men and excuse the degenerate acts as part of “racism.”

These people are disgusted and repelled by you.

As breuklen blue said in her recent video, black women aren’t collectively willing to tell black men to fuck themselves, even as the slip further and further into filth and debauchery.

The world sees how you coddle these criminals and allow them to run free in your “communities”. Most sane people unaffiliated with SJW/ Tumblr heads want nothing to do with this mess. Further, the crazed whites part of this foolishness almost always grow bored and return to their SAFE communities after defending this mess. While you are left with liars and thieves.

They know that you spend your money on criminals, promoting drug and gang culture in their music. They know you allow any creep a voice in the “community”. They are embarrassed for you. They see you have no standards.

In other words, these people see that you won’t clean up your community first and put these men in check by withdrawing money and support. And so, you will not receive ANY support from the world. Even IF by some chance the Justice Fairies ™ grant Black MEN some sort of privilege, they know you are low down dogs who are willing to get fleas with the people you surround yourselves with.

They will not WILLINGLY or with CONSCIOUS thought surround themselves with or support people like you.

The same  black men who marry other women of other races are not having *those* women fight for them on the front lines.

If I’m not mistaken I do not see masses of the white women who black men are dating, getting themselves arrested for the purpose of black cock. These women have self-respect and aren’t stupid enough to do something like that. They have standards.

It will not be appreciated or accepted. You will be blamed for your stupidity later.

I’ve said this before. Black men do not appreciate this and will hate you later.

This will not be reciprocal.

If you believe this will be reciprocal. Think about the black male response to any of the black WOMEN who were killed in recent years. Male privilege is alive and well and these men blamed black women for their deaths and believe they deserved it. You have no savior coming when it is your turn. If you think whatever rights black men achieve will go to YOU then you are wrong.

Read posts under tab “post you may want to read first” for more information.

You are going to ruin your career/ life when this blows up in your face.

Obviously black women have not given any long term thought to their livelihoods.. Like the fool black woman who got herself arrested above, many of these black women have children. And yet they bare risking their livelihoods with criminal records. FOR MEN.

You will be out of a job. You will have no money. You will have a criminal record and fail any future FBI checks.  Black men will be just where they have always been: Nowhere to be found.

You are going to be maimed killed or hurt

This should be an obvious deterrent but black women are willing letting themselves be shot, acting as human shields etc. These men will NEVER return the favor and there will be no GO FUND ME for your medical bills.  YOU will be left paralyzed, blind, bleeding etc. Or your kids will.

And I’ve already said before that I will never support ANYONE who takes their kids to this. I rebuke that evil.

https://notyourgirlfriday.wordpress.com/2014/08/19/get-your-life/

Now let’s get to the point. Hopefully if you had any thoughts of protesting or caping (whether in real life or in virtual life) for these coon black men, hopefully you have reconsidered by now.

If you haven’t then I’ll direct my comments to the woman who are smart enough to take a hint.

It is time to excommunicate these women from your lives. And by excommunicate I mean remove all visible and invisible holds that these women might have on you. Do not support them, do not associate with them. I would go so far as to say do not befriend them.

Do not give these women any more fuel for their fires.

They will burn their houses down with their stupidity and take YOU with them.

These women, in their ill thought out plans, have yet to accept that black men have virtually NO power and have not advanced in 40 years. And yet they are starting a race war that black WOMEN are going to have to pick up the pieces for.  IF you want to avoid this make sure you draw a line between these women and YOU. Do not let these broads speak for you. As formavitae said in Khadija’s comment section to her recent post, have other avenues to provide for your family WHEN shit hits the fan and these “marie antoinettes” reap the whirlwind of supporting criminals and gangbangers and resources become scarce.


formavitae
 said…

MAN! I was at work on my lunch break (10 hrs ago), when I first saw this post. AT THE SAME TIME, I saw CNN news covering the Dallas shootings on the large screen tv. I thought to myself, “Sh*t is about to HIT THE FAN,” and, sure enough, after lunch, I heard white coworkers saying things are about to get MUCH WORSE and, more or less, no one is going to be concerned about being “politically correct” anymore.

Anyway, I must say I fear the upcoming “turning of the tide”. Though I am still in my 30s, I never thought I’d see the day when AAs would experience such regression. (That sounds like such an “old person” thing to say.). THIS time won’t turn out like our FORMER Civil Rights Movement. We WON’T have the allies. We DON’T have the discipline. Nor do we have any MEANINGFUL infrastructure to rely upon. We have no “WELL THOUGHT OUT AND PREPARED FOR” PLAN. AAs ARE SCREWED. And, now, each of us basically has a “target” on our back, because Negroes haven’t been willing to set high standards and “CUT FOOLS LOOSE”. People aware going to take less time to try to decipher who is good or bad or to “separate the sheep from the goats”. They’re just going to do whatever they deem necessary to neutralize any potentially threatening situation and consider any “innocents” harmed unfortunate, but necessary “collateral damage”.

I’m typing on my iPad, so it’s hard to keep “the flow” of thoughts, sometimes, but I’m just going to say these few things that came to my mind earlier:

1. AAs are in NO position to successfully initiate, wage, or WIN a “race war”. WE WILL LOSE. NOT because we’re “black”. NOT because we’re “minority”. But, because we refuse to organize, be self-promoting, or self-sufficient. And, NO ONE ELSE is really interested in siding with us against a powerful,influential, and SUSTAINABLE infrastructure that can “back up” any threats it makes. Not to mention most of the world has a “fair skinned” bias anyway. AA women better be smart and stop putting their tails on the line for fake, weak FOOLS who want to run out and “bust a few caps” to prove they’re “tough” but then run and cower in fear and shadows once those they attack turn out “in full force” and “bring the heat”. AA women’s bodies WILL “get dropped”.

BTW, with all these “BOLD” nyggaz (I mean “MEN”–eye roll) around, why is George Zimmerman still walking?

JULY 8, 2016 AT 11:00 AM

formavitae said…

  1. AA women better figure out a “SAFETY NET”. And, those of you who think it’s simply “getting rich” and moving into an affluent white neighborhood, as that multi-millionaire AA family whose neighbors sprayed painted their home with epithets and, I think, set it on fire. The AA strategy needs to go BEYOND trying to get some money and “snuggle up” in white enclaves. I’m not saying that’s not ONE potentially viable strategy. I’m just saying AA women need MORE than that. AA women need to know how to secure the basic necessities of life, in case “others” decide they want to limit access to their supply.3. Politics currently SUCKS. But, PLEASE realize you aren’t “secure” simply by voting for the one who isn’t threatening to cut social programs. One way or another, “THE HAMMER IS ABOUT TO FALL”. Recognize that the “soft hearted” liberals often live in communities with minimum acreage requirements and minimum square footage requirements, so that certain populations can’t afford to live there in the first place. While they’re releasing convicts for unfair sentencing laws back into the community so they can “build a new life”, just know it won’t be THEIR community tasked with rehabilitation (or the FAILURE of the rehabilitation process). While they INSIST upon public schools allowing students to use the bathroom of their choice, they can afford to send their children to elite private schools that won’t necessarily suffer economically for lack of compliance. While they promote granting amnesty to illegals and offering benefits, it won’t be their employment niches being heavily affected. It won’t be their emergency rooms, hospitals, and other social service facilities required to provide services while not necessarily being able to recoup the cost or make a profit. If you disapprove of abortion, recognize the party that wants to limit such “genocide” also wants to limit social programs, affirmative action, or any other type of “restoration” initiatives. YES. The HAMMER IS COMIN’ DOWN! You just have to choose which bruises and wounds you’re willing to bear. As an AA woman, YOU WONT BE LEFT UNSCATHED.There’s more. But, right now, I’m tired and getting a headache just thinking about it. However, these events in Dallas highlight the fact that a watershed moment is occurring right now, and the actions of others in your group are going to have SERIOUS implications FOR YOU. FIGURE OUT HOW TO DISTINGUISH AND SAVE YOURSELF.

    Oh yes. I heard about another AA lady killing all but one of her children. I expect to hear more stories like this, as more AA women realize they and their children aren’t really valued by AA/black men and they just “get tired of the struggle”. This story was in my mind too, as I was thinking that “I never thought I’d see a day like this.”

JULY 8, 2016 AT 11:01 AM

I’ll remind you again that these women and their lack of morals are dangerous. And this is one of the reasons why I’ve never been part of the “live and let live” “They’re not hurting anyone” brigade. Because someone always gets hurt and usually it’s a black woman.

It is time to draw a line.

I know which side I’m on.

Until Next Time,

Stay Neutral

 

 

 

Idle Worship

 

For the past few weeks I’ve been watching in awe and disgust as the world has reacted to the Beyoncé’s new album. And as time goes on my awe and disgust has grown to outright revulsion.  And so, I’ll try and keep this message as brief as possible:

ENOUGH.

If I were talking to any other group of women I’d think my reasons for saying this were quiet obvious given black women’s overall reactions to black women.  But I’ll break it down further.

Stop it. Stop with the worship. Stop defending a grown ass BILLIONAIRE who wouldn’t piss on you were on fire. Enough of the teary eyed, messages about how this woman “slays” is a “goddess” is a veritable champion for black women. *massive eye roll*. Enough of defending this woman (who didn’t ask for or need your help). Enough of wasting your time retweeting about this chick. Enough of writing article after article about how Beyoncé’s album is going to *somehow* usher in the second coming of Christ. Enough wasting your time getting “in

It’s obvious some of you are so enamored with this woman that you can’t see the forest from the trees but I’m going to break this down to its lowest common denominator since some of you are so basic you won’t understand otherwise.

Beyoncé doesn’t know you. Beyoncé doesn’t care about you. She doesn’t care about “black pride or black power” and she doesn’t care about black women (aside from using them to sell albums). Beyoncé, and the misogynist husband she’s married, to care about money. She is NOT your ally. Beyoncé has hundreds of people behind her telling her what she should do and the perfect way to do it. So if that means using the masses of mentally ill black women to position herself and her BILLIONS higher so be it.

It would be one thing if black women could simply watch or listen to something without making said object their entire UNIVERSE, but unfortunately the majority of deluded black women have yet to grasp this concept.

It is one thing to enjoy something as ENTERTAINMENT.  It is another thing entirely to use whatever comes in your path as a GOLDEN CALF.

Beyoncé has no magical powers, despite the cringe worthy posts declaring otherwise Beyoncé is NOT a goddess. She’s not going to personally single YOU out because you wasted your time praising and defending her.  Beyoncé cares about the bottom line first and foremost and that is MONEY.

But you know, this isn’t only about Beyoncé. NO this is about a larger issue that I’ve seen where susceptible black women getting something, anything stuck in their craw and decide to go all in in supporting it. Regardless of whether they will get anything in return. Regardless of whether it will ruin their lives or livelihoods.

Case in point:

Here are some demented black women getting in “formation” and holding up the black power symbol at west point.

They are the perfect example of mentally ill, foolish and deluded black women who pride idol worship more than they do their own lives.

Forgetting for the moment how foolish these women were to throw their health and safety away on the military, let’s talk about that fact that these women are willing to ruin their careers in the name of “Black pride”.

These black women (and I know some of you reading this see no problem in this picture) were willing to risk getting FIRED in the name of the golden calf they worship. It doesn’t matter if that golden calf won’t give them anything in return. They’re still raring to go. And of course these black women will receive nothing from the golden calf they’ve sacrificed themselves to.

Further these same women don’t realize the position people like Beyoncé are in to make statements like her foolish Black Panther homage at the super bowl. This woman has money. YOU do not. You do not have the power, backing or celebrity to pull off stupid stunts like the crazed black women who took on neo Nazis. (Look it up I wont’ link this foolishness.)

 

Do you think Beyoncé would do this? Do you think, with all of her talk of “blackness” that she would risk life and limb and grown ass racist white men? No. This woman has bodyguards. She makes her social statements from the comfort of a music video set. She does not sacrifice herself for the good of nameless black lives. She doesn’t need to. And any clap back she receives for her videos are null in void with her BILLIONS.

But this IDLE (Yes, I spelled it correctly) worship doesn’t just end with Beyoncé or “Black Pride”. I’ve noticed MOST black women can find almost anything and they’ll still manage to sacrifice themselves to whatever looks good or feels good.

Whether its television (Let’s recall the “knee jerk” support of shows like Sleepy hollow and Scandal and how that has ended) “Black lives matter”, “Social justice movements”, feminism, a no good dead beat black man, the church, their families, their sons etc. Black women *still* haven’t grasped the concept of NOT putting everything into dead end avenues. This is from a lack of self-esteem. These women don’t have any self-worth. They believe that just by erecting that golden calf they too will one day BECOME like Beyoncé. Or they believe like the mentally ill black women in the link below that if they “fight” against “cultural appropriation” by the white man, that black men will applaud and love them and give them something in return.

SFSU Investigating Video Of Black Woman Confronting White Man For Wearing Dreads

(yes that actually happened)

Or they believe if they mammy themselves for their families they will get something back from them.

They won’t. But this doesn’t change the fact that these types of women need therapy. And fast. Because this behavior, this cult like blind support that allows people to be blinded by anyone and everyone, this of critical thinking is dangerous to those who are simply in the vicinity of someone like this.  This lack of self-esteem drags everyone down not to mention plays with the entire image of the black female collective.

There is a reason that I’ve said before (and so has Khadija for that matter) that black women should unplug from the media given their current situation. Because black women as a WHOLE are lacking the self-esteem and self-preservation to distance themselves emotionally from things that will do them harm; to keep themselves from turning anyone and everyone around them into a point of obsession. (I’ve noticed this obsession comes a lot of times in the form of celebrity worship.)

But I’m starting to see that this is going to have to be a bought lesson for some of you. For others keep up the critical thinking.

Until Next Time,

Stay Neutral.

Oh here are some good links to read.

Thanks to Acts of Faith for posting a link to the blog below on her Facebook. It was an interesting read.

https://petalsandpistols.wordpress.com/2016/04/29/im-not-wasting-my-life-being-a-race-soldier/

http://www.whataboutourdaughters.com/waod/2016/2/8/before-you-get-in-formation-with-beyonceget-in-formation-for.html

http://muslimbushido.blogspot.com/2016/05/dystopia-now-part-4-get-away-from.html

Oh and Breuklen Blue has a YouTube channel. She runs BlackWomenThinkTank 2.0 on Facebook. This video is a pretty good listen.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-T715esc8fk

 

Thoughts on this? Sounds like a potential disaster to me.

http://www.nytimes.com/2016/05/13/us/politics/obama-administration-to-issue-decree-on-transgender-access-to-school-restrooms.html?_r=0

 

 

Black Women in Fandoms 106: The Trick Is To Make You Think We’re In This Together, When Really They’re Dancing On Your Bloodied Corpse

 

 

It’s been a while since I wrote a post about on this topic; three years actually. And if you haven’t read my posts on Black Women in the Media I would advise you to do that now. (If you are new I would especially recommend this so you’ll have some sort of frame of reference.)

https://notyourgirlfriday.wordpress.com/2013/04/21/black-women-fandoms-101-a-series/

https://notyourgirlfriday.wordpress.com/2013/05/04/the-trick-is-to-make-you-think-that-everything-has-changed-when-really-you-havent-moved-a-damn-inch-bwif-102/

https://notyourgirlfriday.wordpress.com/2013/05/06/ah-benevolance-the-trick-is-to-make-you-think-its-for-your-own-good-when-really-you-wind-up-as-empty-handed-as-before-bwif-103/

https://notyourgirlfriday.wordpress.com/2013/05/18/the-dance-is-over-and-you-dont-owe-them-a-thing-bwif-104/

https://notyourgirlfriday.wordpress.com/2013/05/30/entertainment-for-the-progressively-neutral-black-woman-bwif-105/

I know I said, after the debacle that was the response to the posts below, that I was done writing about black women in the media. But in light of recent events I’ve decided to dig up the corpse of these posts and build myself a zombie.

https://notyourgirlfriday.wordpress.com/2013/10/08/a-is-for-anger-and-why-i-write-what-i-write/

https://notyourgirlfriday.wordpress.com/2013/11/06/since-im-already-batting-a-thousand-i-may-as-well-go-there/

https://notyourgirlfriday.wordpress.com/2013/11/25/girl-bye-episode-i/

https://notyourgirlfriday.wordpress.com/2013/10/18/houston-we-have-a-problem-happily-adrift-in-our-own-demise-and-other-little-sticky-wickets-2/

https://notyourgirlfriday.wordpress.com/2013/11/02/asdfghjkl-o_o-derp/

Although I’ve severely limited what I’ve been watching lately I do keep up with the news enough to know what’s been going on recently. But in case you missed it here’s a quick rundown of the insanity I’ve seen concerning black women in the media.

  • Masses of deluded and mentally ill black women came out to support “Straight out of Compton” and give it a billion dollar opening.
  • Zoe Saldana was cast in a biopic for Nina Simone in which someone decided it would be a good idea to spray paint her dark brown and give her a fake nose.
  • Yet *another* television about slaves has been produced. (I guess we’ve digressed that far)
  • Blacks completely foamed at the mouth when they realized they were overlooked again for the Oscars.
  • Black women decided to flock to another television show with what will surely turn out to be a place hold black woman’s face on the show “Outsiders”. (I guess we’re still trying kicking that)
  • Beyoncé decided to speak for all black women when she #mammied herself at the Super Bowl for the Black Penises
  • Coon…Ahem.. I mean Kevin Hart continues to land roles using Black women’s resources.
  • Rachel Dolezel, Black Woman Impersonator continues escape persecution for using
  • Melissa Harris Perry got kicked to the curb on MSNBC.
  • Abbie Mills was killed off Sleepy Hollow. *shock and gasp!*

After watching debacle after debacle, the most important thing I’ve noticed in all of the discourse surrounding these events is that people who have been *directly* benefiting from the continued demise of black women would like us to believe that we’re in some bad sequel to High School Musical and we’re really “All in this Together”.

I’ve spoken before about the dangers of not being able to identify what an ally is.

https://notyourgirlfriday.wordpress.com/2014/07/22/1040/

Unfortunately, too many black women are still confused.  So I’ll repeat myself.  It is impossible to TRULY ally with someone who is directly benefiting from YOUR misfortune.

And just in case you were skimming this post I’ll say it twice.

It is IMPOSSIBLE to be TRUE allies with people who are, not only directly benefitting from your misfortune, but are actively INVESTING it.

With that said, I want black women to get something clear: There are few mistakes in Hollywood. Almost everything is deliberate. The people who have made hundreds of billions of dollars (and that’s just sometimes on ONE movie) didn’t just “accidentally” screw you into the ground.

No.

That crap is D-E-L-I-B-E-R-A-T-E.

There are no mistakes.

Zoe Saldana didn’t just casually wander onto the set for the Nina Simone Biopic and then the director just felt sorry for her and let her stay.

These Networks didn’t reluctantly cast stereotypical black women on their shows because there just weren’t any non-stereotypical ones.

That umpteenth show about NEGROS relishing in SLAVERY didn’t just “accidently” get greenlit.

The writers didn’t “accidentally” cast a black woman as “Lead” only to have her as a place HOLD until they brought in light skinned/ white women as her replacement.

The NETWORKS are NOT unware of the offensive things their black male actors have vomited all over social media.

The producers and “showrunners” have FULL authority to make certain actresses’ lives miserable until they want to quit.  And they ARE capable of it.

The networks are fully aware that when they paint certain black face wearing, conniving women as sympathetic to the masses they are doing a colossal disservice to black women.

The networks and executives didn’t “accidently” manage to use black female faces to attract “perpetually surprised” black women to their television shows and then “spontaneously” decide to dump them.

[Please read this recent post by Muslim Bushido in which she talks about previous posts on this exact topic http://muslimbushido.blogspot.com/2016/04/perpetually-surprised.html ]

The networks and executives didn’t simply hire biracial actress to REPLACE unambiguous black women because they were SO talented they couldn’t be passed up.

The academy wasn’t actually unaware that they nominated NO blacks for their awards. (Despite all the people having tantrums on twitter. Lol)

THERE ARE NO MISTAKES.

You are being played, hoodwinked, deceived, duped, tricked, conned.

Somehow in the biggest con of all time, black women have actually fell for the idea that groups of people who’ve managed to hang onto their privileges for CENTURIES just couldn’t quite figure out how to treat black women nicely; that they have just no idea how to not cast stereotypical black women. That they just couldn’t write actual lines for black women as HUMAN BEINGS.

Come on ya’ll. you can’t be that naïve. But just in case you are, I’ll jump further down the rabbit hole in an attempt to pull you out with a very obvious example from the movie Shit Outta Compton:

The group NWA made their multi-million dollar, decades longs careers on the backs of black women. These BLACK MEN while complaining about racism and police brutality simultaneously abused black women (physically and verbally) and happily produced NUMEROUS vile songs about KILLING black women.

Yes, you read that correctly.

And when, after decades of lacking any REMORSE that they’d gained their fortunes on Black women’s misfortunes, suddenly these same men decided to “apologize” for abuse that they willfully perpetuated.

Wake Up, ladies.

This did not happen in a vacuum. This did not happen because “Dr.” Dre suddenly felt “sorry” for what he’d done. (LOL). He didn’t have any epiphanies. He needed to sell tickets. And of course, because NOTHING is an accident, he knew black women would accept a two-bit apology.  This was planned, finagled, and arranged by people who MAKE THEIR LIVINGS perfecting the right thing to say at the right time.

Every, “Emotion”, every “regret”; every “sadness” has been carefully crafted by people behind a curtain. And you’d think that this would go without saying but this movie somehow had a massive opening day and subsequent theater run supported by the same woman whose image and names are in the gutter because of said group. And the kick is that Black Women were salivating to support it.

But remember, the trick is to make you think that we’re all in this together when really they’ve strung up your corpse in time square and used it as a piñata.

Bu if you want an example from the other side of the coin. Let’s look at the show “Sleepy Hollow.”  Black women were ensnared in that trap from the day the show was announced. As I predicted THREE YEARS AGO the show pulled a complete bait and switch. But they took it a step further. Not only did they bait and switch the audience, they managed to kill the character off completely. And from what I’ve heard they didn’t even do her justice.

And yet when all was said and done, (as I expected) white women somehow managed to turn the issue of black women being used and abused into a way to push their agenda.

http://jezebel.com/lots-of-female-television-characters-were-killed-off-la-1770374116

http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/fien-print/critics-notebook-why-did-female-882659?utm_source= &utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=THR%20Live%20Feed%20Alerts_now_2016-04-11%2014:48:42_Jfrosch&utm_term=hollywoodreporter_livefeed

http://www.themarysue.com/tv-female-characters-killed-off-in-one-week/

http://mic.com/articles/140590/8-major-female-characters-died-on-tv-last-week#.muKOfDIe5

If you weren’t daring enough to click on the links, I’ll help you out. These broads managed to turn the phenomenon of black women getting baited and switched into a larger issue about “Women” (read white).

And while I couldn’t give to whits about the comings and goings of angry white women, I want black women to be aware of something. White women are NOT innocent victims in the demise of black women in the media.

Here are a few fun facts.

The director the Nina Simone debacle is actually a white woman.

The directors and showrunners of The Vampire diaries the show that mammied their black female character for seven seasons are white women.

The network executive who approved the decision to kill Carter’s character on Person of Interest is, you guessed it, a white women.

But somehow these women would have you believe with all the Liz Lemon’s, Unbreakable Kimmy’s, and Leslie Knopes (and that’s only naming a few) that we’re all in this together.

Sure we are.

If I haven’t said this before it bears repeating over and over again.  The problem with assuming everyone is your ally is that you’re assuming that NOBODY is working against you.  This is a cycle I’ve noticed over and over throughout the years.

Certain groups can do a number of heinous things to black women. Black women become enraged by said acts. Said group feigns surprise and stupidity and remorse before skillfully using lines like “but the white man is doing this or that to all of us” or “Those white men have an issues portraying all women” or, “Let’s not be divisive. The larger issue is those white men,” And miraculously black women fall for the buzzwords. Black women enter a fugue like state ready to nurse said groups to their bosoms instead of holding them accountable for the continued mistreatment.

And I won’t even get into the fact that these same black women who were just sharted on by the executives at Fox still haven’t learned to DO FOR SELF and create their own media. In some demented turn of events there are actually people talking about more upcoming shows with sock puppet black female leads; yet again providing these networks with free publicity.

I couldn’t make this crap up if I wanted to, ladies.

Stop it. Wake Up.

Before I leave, I’d like to ask you a couple of questions. If we’re all in this together would there be masses of blacks deciding to boycott the Oscars because ONE washed up black actress lost out on a nomination. (Please look up how boycotting the Oscars came about because Will Smith was snubbed and Jada wanted to support her husband.)

When black women show their asses in the same way as the Rachel Dolezels will she be written off as anything more than a ratchet hoe?

Have any of these groups you’re desperate to cling to ever sacrificed for YOU?

I think we all know the answer to that.

And while the truth hurts, it will also set you free.

Until next time,

Stay Neutral.

  1. I somehow missed myplaceinthesun’s annual Christmas challenge to support black women owned business.

http://myplaceinthesun.typepad.com/my_place_in_the_sun/2015/01/real-bwe-supporters-holiday-buying-challenge-results.html

So I’m issuing it from now until the end of May.  If anyone knows any black women business for likeminded black women, please link them below. And please post what you purchased, if anything, in the comments.

OLS.

STOP…In the Name of Love!

 

For the past few months I’ve been silently watching the fallout since the disaster that was Straight out of Compton the Gutter and black women’s “rabid, knee jerk support” of all things black and phallic. And I’ve also watched passively and bemusedly, at the sudden torrent of outrage after a black female student was assaulted by a white officer. And through that amusement I watched as, again unsurprisingly, the news broke that there was a group of black teenagers who actually protested the firing of said racist, violent officer.  But it wasn’t until a post on For Black Women ONLY that I finally decided to address what I’ve known for a while and continue to see evidence of daily.

The vast majority of black women have no idea what love is.

There. I said it. Ya’ll know me. And you know I’m extremely blunt. So I won’t even bother to mince words with you guys and make you feel better when I say this again: The vast majority of black women have no idea of what love is.

I’ve noticed a lot of black women, like the ones mentioned by commenters in the post above, claiming that they love black men, that they “love” their  allies, that they “love” their families, and that they “love their sons” et al. But the fact remains, and you can’t convince me otherwise, that MOST black women do NOT understand the concept of love. Since the MAJORITY of the silent readers on my blog have probably never had their warped concept of “love” challenged, I’ll share the insights and observations I’ve collected from working as an advocate for women who’ve had their lives torn apart by “love”.

  • “Love” is not accepting physical, verbal, emotional or psychological abuse.
  • “Love” is not supporting anything and everything that black men produce.
  • “Love” is not sacrificing your wellbeing on the altar of love.
  • “Love” is not lauding any misogyny, abuse, degradation and humiliation to “lift up” groups of people who claim to love you.
  • “Love” is not giving the shirt off your back without reciprocation.
  • “Love” does not equate sex, “friends with benefits”, or Netflix and “chilling”.
  • Love is not begging, protesting, rallying, creating signs, and guilting people into returning some semblance of the same feelings.
  • Love does not NEED to beg.
  • “Love” doesn’t mean never asking for anything in return.
  • Despite the popular phrase love DOESN’T mean you never say you’re sorry.
  • “Love” is not acting like a lady and thinking like a man.
  • “Love” is not acting as a baby incubator for men.
  • “Love” is not simply marrying a “rich” man
  • “Love” is not automatically guaranteed with “rainbeaus” and “other brothers”.

https://notyourgirlfriday.wordpress.com/2013/07/04/a-declaration-of-our-own/

I’m sure I could go on, and I’m sure you’ve got examples of your own that you’d love to include in the comments section (and probably will) but I’m going to leave it there while tell you that the overreaching point I’ve noticed in all of the above is a desperate and cloying (and usually futile) attempt to hang on to anything with a phallus.

These women black women, like the legions of women I deal with every day, are desperately searching for something. Sure these women are claiming to search for “love” but there is something more to it than simple romantic fulfillment.

I’ve noticed that the majority of the women I’ve encountered don’t love themselves.  How do I know? Because they give away all the classic symptoms like someone in the final stages of a disease.

  • These women are surrounded by dysfunctional relationships.
  • These women don’t take care of themselves. (And I mean on every level)
  • These women are unable to even contemplate putting themselves first. (See some of the twisted responses in the last post at the mere *hint* that black women might look out for themselves.)
  • These women come from mass generational familial dysfunction.
  • These women can’t seem to recognize the difference between love and sex.
  • These women support any and everyone who has a nice word regardless of whether the fruit ever matches the vine.
  • These women usually spend an inordinate amount of time on social media self-promoting in the hopes that someone will approve of them. Because in their minds, “Likes”, “reblogs”, “retweets” et cetera all equal some sort of substitute for love.
  • These women usually support systems that directly work to destroy them. (I.e. Straight out of the Compton the gutter.) Newsflash: for women who *truly* love themselves there would never be any debate as to whether they should see a movie like that or not.
  • These women are usually promiscuous.
  • These women are usually “serial monogamists.”
  • These women usually throw themselves at the altar of any two bit, half working phallus.

Listen, I don’t say these things simply because I enjoy stomping on other people. I say this because in my profession I’ve had to watch silently as women with the potential to be so much more than what they find themselves stuck in crash and burn.

I say this because I’ve watched as these people have destroyed the best parts of their lives to fulfill a part of themselves that other people can’t fill for them. And because of that I’m going to take the time to point out, for those who may be confused, that there is a vast difference between attachment and *actual* love.

What is the difference? Attachment is usually about the person who’s claiming to love someone. It is about their, wants, desires, needs, etc. Basically, with attachment, it is about someone putting their wishes for a relationship onto someone else, *regardless* of whether the person returns those same feelings or not.  For example, see the crazy black woman the commenter in the For Black Women Only FB page posted who was holding up a sign claiming to “love black men”. This is attachment at its best.

Black women like this, regardless of all evidence that supports the fact that black men are not that into you*,  lack the self-esteem, self-motivation and, yes, self-love to pick themselves up and find someone that loves them for who they are. Instead they’ve hooked their validation onto the hopes that these random black men who’ve done their best to tell them they ain’t interested will love them in return and validate them.

Because with a crazy scenario like this, these women are silently asking with signs like this and their unwavering knee jerk support, that the objects of their affection return their support and come out with signs of their own. They NEED to believe these men love them because they don’t feel worthy themselves. They’re begging for a response to affirm their existence and their worthiness as a human being.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/sense-and-sensitivity/201202/is-it-love-or-attachment

http://www.newenglishreview.org/Thomas_J._Scheff/Genuine_Romantic_Love%3A_Attraction,_Attachment,_and_Attunement/

http://happyhealthyrelationship.com/difference-between-love-and-emotional-attachment/

http://www.myhealthylivingcoach.com/whats-the-difference-between-love-attachment-in-relationships/

I have noticed that many black women when talking about their relationships fall on the unhealthy side of the coin instead of healthy love. In fact the links above go in depth on the difference between love and attachment. Specifically the article from myhealthlivingcoach.com did a very good job explaining the difference between love and attachment that I see in many black women.

Of attachment they write:

But when attachment becomes dependency, it is no longer healthy. When people believe that they need other people or things to be happy, they are in danger of unhealthy attachment. Unhealthy attachment is a form of displacement and delusion. We come to believe that the source of our health and happiness is outside of ourselves. Then our identities and senses of self, our ability to feel pleasure, happiness, and other positive emotions becomes dependent on the words and actions of something outside of ourselves. When we believe that a person must remain in our lives or a situation must remain as it is for us to be happy and stable, regardless of whether the situation is actually healthy for us, then we are unhealthily attached.

Unhealthy attachment is a form of disconnection from self. We become so wrapped up in other people or things that we lose our connection to our own centers. A form of distortion clouds our perception, and we believe that our joy and essence stems from that external source – that someone can “make” us feel a certain way, and can take that feeling away. When we are attached, we give away our agency, our power, and our freedom.

You can tell you are probably attached when the idea of a relationship or situation ending makes you very uncomfortable and triggers primal fear. This is not the normal sadness that can happen when we imagine any good thing ending. Rather, attachment triggers irrational terror on a subtle level at the thought of the object of attachment leaving one’s life, which is related to the fight-or-flight sympathetic nervous system activation that happens whenever we perceive potential danger. This type of attachment and fear of loss can trigger all manner of unhealthy emotional states, including depression, anger, chronic stress, terror, jealousy and vengeance. It can cause us to do terrible things, from speaking cruel words because we feel hurt to martyring ourselves trying to make our partners stay with us. It is beyond logic, beyond sanity, and requires both vigilance and kindness to transform.

On a daily basis I these exact scenarios and it’s actually quite jarring. Not only is it jarring but I think in some cases it’s a symptom of some larger mental illness. So what is my point? I’m sure many of you are wondering that by now.

My point is that for black women looking to better their lives and move up and ahead it is absolutely critical to thoroughly consider the emotional entanglement you’re about to find yourself in. It is absolutely critical for black women to not only be strategic in who the align themselves but to also learn to love themselves. (or at the very least learn how to identify what love isn’t.) For some therapy might even need to be an option to free yourself from the baggage that many black women find themselves encumbered with. There’s nothing wrong with that.  And I think many will find that when they’ve taken care of issues such as self-esteem, self-love and self-worth all the other issues start to solve themselves.

Until Next Time,

Stay Neutral.

 

Imma say it again; Beware the Cloak of Black Male &White Female Privilege!

 

Today I want to play a game called “Most Realistic Outcome”.  It’s really quite simple and only requires the use of your imagination… Are you all ready? Okay.

Imagine there was a white man. Most likely American, and in his mid to late thirties. Now imagine this white man grew up with all the privileges that came with being white and male. But there was a problem. You see this white man, who grew up with his white parents, applied to a historically black college and didn’t get in. This made the white man angry. He felt entitled to receive what he believed was rightfully his. You see, this white man, let’s call him “Richard” decided that he didn’t like that. And so Richard decided to sue the school for “discrimination” based on the fact that he was white.

That didn’t work out too well for Richard. He lost his lawsuit and was forced to actually pay damages to the school in question. This bothers Richard further. Later, Richard decides suddenly that he’s been having an identity crisis. Richard suddenly, and after living his life as a privileged white male, decides that he wants to live life as a black man as he feels he identifies with black people more. Richard spends money on tanning cream and spray tans. He then finds an afro wig and decides to wear it around town. Richard decides create an elaborate story about his father really being black and tells people that his mother’s adopted black children are his with a black woman. Richard then commits several crimes and lies about his ethnicity on any application he can get his hands on.

Richard applies to the black college again, this time as a Black man.  He is accepted to the college. Richard receives a scholarship; one that actually belongs to *real* black men. He is then hired by the NAACP as a president and took a *real* black man’s position. He is also hired to work in the Oversight division in the Spokane police department. But that’s not all. Richard is hired as a teacher of Africana Studies at Eastern Washington University, He is accused of being nasty to black male students and favoring black female students.  He decides to tell his black students about their history because he feels he knows about it just as much.

At some point, Richard plagiarizes several African American paintings from the 1800’s. He also accuses people of committing hate crimes against him when it is actually untrue.  Suddenly Rach… ahem I mean Richard is outed by his white parents. For Richard isn’t a black man at all, he is a white man living the life of a charlatan. Richard has lied and carried on and has been rewarded for his deception. The media is in a frenzy now. Black people have the opportunity to speak on this privileged white man stealing resources from poor black men who were deserving of these scholarships and positions.

In this scenario what would be the most realistic outcome.

Would the media, black people, and the NAACP

  1. A) Immediately fire Richard and speak out against the privileges of White men against the poor black men who were cheated.
  2. B) Call for an investigation and begin a lawsuit on the resources that went to Richard instead of other black men because of his lies.
  3. C) Launch a national discussion about the evil white man and their entitlement issues.
  4. D) Sympathize with the borderline psychotic white man’s need to “feel good” about himself at the expense of the black men who were cheated and locked out of positions that were long fought for.
  5. E) Come out in defense of said white man and defend his need to “identify” with blacks even when it was at the expense of black men and their best interests.

….. If you answered A, B, And C. You get full points.  If you answered D or E. Well I’m sorry you’re probably a delusional fool.

Now, imagine this scenario involved a woman named “Rachel” instead of a man named Richard. Imagine if this happened to a woman who grew up with blond hair and blue eyes and all the privileges that came along with being a white woman.  What do you think the outcome is?

…. If you answered A,B, C. Well then you probably live in an alternate universe where right and wrong are not subjective to whether there is a penis attached and if you answered D or E then I applaud your intelligence.

You see, in this timeline, in this universe, on this planet we call earth there’s a thing called privilege. You see not only do white men have privilege because they are men and because they are white, White women have privilege because they are white (even though they are women) and black men have privilege because they are males (even though they are black). And black women, well… you know how that plays out.

I’ve told you all before about the mass hypocrisy and privilege concerning black men and white women. I’ve told you all before about the near rabid focus on the privileges of white men while ignoring the privileges of two groups who do nothing at all to stop their own abusive behavior towards black women.

While everyone was so focused on white men. Black men and white women where stripping black women of everything that they could possibly get their hands on right down to African American women’s identities.  You see for those who refused to see the nuances of privilege, especially the foolish black women who wouldn’t heed warnings from the numbers of black women who already spoke about these issues for the past *decade* are now shocked and awed at the reactions of deadbeat bm willing to throw down their capes to save a white woman from her own foolishness. These black women are now gnashing their teeth and writhing in pain that they’ve been betrayed *yet again* by black men who cosigned Rachel Dolezal. They still understand how privilege works.  On the other hand those black women who are waiting for the world to come out and condemn this lying white lady and her delusions are in for a surprise are now *shocked* that white female privilege has actually done the opposite.

So for the simpletons that just don’t get it, imma’ say again exactly what the cloak of black male and white female privilege means in terms of black women.

  1. BM/WF privilege means that while white women may not have BOTH privileges they still have enough privilege that it is OPEN SEASON on the black women who have the misfortune of coming in contact with delusiods like Rachel Dolezal.
  2. BM/WF privilege means that while the rest of the world would have made sure to call for the head of any WM and his offspring had they perpetrated such an offense against a black MAN, most of those same black man who would readily grab pitchforks and matches are now ready to forgive and forget the same behavior from their counterparts. (I’ve said before that BM and White women are different sides of the SAME coin in terms of privilege and wielding that privilege against black women as a weapon.)
  3. In terms of white women this cloak of privilege means that instead of the world holding this bird brain accountable, her cloak of privilege lets her sins be cast invisible so that she’s come off as a “confused” tortured soul instead of the predator she actually is. It is a very adequate shield of armor. (Remember white woman’s tears ya’ll.)
  4. In terms of black men this cloak of privilege means that black men get to set the standard of what qualifies as racism. They are given, by the world, the privilege of deciding who and what gets held accountable. Any black woman who knows what’s up can see the pattern in which deadbeat black men allow any old white woman to do whatever they want while wailing about racial solidarity and asking black women to cape for grown men.

*For more on this topic please see Halima’s post called “Who’s Zooming Who”

  1. In terms of black women this cloak of privilege (for those who are massively in denial) means that black women take their cues from said black men above in the hopes that they will gain said privileges of black men. (I have written numerous posts on why this won’t happen). It also means that black women will end up taking their cues from said black men and their one sided privilege. ( See the number of black women following the NAACP and trying to sympathize with this barracuda)
  2. IN terms of privilege this means that two groups who peddle themselves as being “victimized” by white men can turn around and stick it two black women and even blame black women for their own behavior. This includes accusations of being “jealous”/ “bitter” about white women’s *obvious* superiority to black women along with forcing black women to tow the party line for the BM agenda of racial “equality”.

I suppose there were a number of black women waiting for black people to condemn this white woman’s behavior. I suppose they thought that after muling for black men and the black (male) cause they would finally be worthy of defense.  Instead what black women were shown was that they *still* weren’t worth outrage.

I’m going to say again that black women need to pull their collective head out of their ass. It appears that some of ya’ll believe this is a game. Some of you believe that constant erasure of boundaries is going to be something that will “benefit” everyone.

https://notyourgirlfriday.wordpress.com/2013/05/06/ah-benevolance-the-trick-is-to-make-you-think-its-for-your-own-good-when-really-you-wind-up-as-empty-handed-as-before-bwif-103/

https://notyourgirlfriday.wordpress.com/2013/05/04/the-trick-is-to-make-you-think-that-everything-has-changed-when-really-you-havent-moved-a-damn-inch-bwif-102/

NO.

Erasure of boundaries without a release of privilege only works for those who already started out with privilege.

Example: Cooking is largely seen as a domesticated (see: female) career. And yet when men choose this profession they are given privileges that women are never afforded. Meanwhile women who break into traditionally male fields are not given the same level of respect.

A number of bwe writers have spoken on the importance of maintaining boundaries in regards to race.  *See Khadija’s post on those who pretend not to know what “black” means. These black woman knew the consequences of allowing others to dictate who can and can’t identify as black and those pretending that we have some sort of shared experience and collective, when these same groups have a very obvious agenda.

Now these same people who wanted to pretend like this was High School Musical are now shocked when people are invoking those same privileges that never went away in the first place. And what’s worse the new redefinition of what it means to be black harms *actual* black women.

You see for those who have an agenda not having boundaries on who is black (and yes even who is a woman) only benefits those who have nothing to lose. You can believe that the main reason why black men haven’t spoken out in mass (and why delusional black women have supported Rachel Dolezal) is because they don’t believe they are going lose out. Hell, as some people pointed out this woman’s “black” persona is exactly what deadbeat bm hold as the standard of what black womanhood should look like.

I’m going to warn black women yet again to watch out for opportunistic people who are using “inclusiveness” as a way to gain access to African American women’s hard earned rights.  Beware of the cloak of privilege. What does this mean? Avoid situations in which people ask you to give up established boundaries in the name of “fairness”. Remove yourselves from people who are clearly only there to take what they can get before they ditch. Stay away from people who want you to cape for your own erasure.

And for the love of God, Stay neutral. I will say again that aligning yourself with groups that have the power to wield their privilege over black women will do nothing but damage black women further.  For the black women who invested in the NAACP only to be betrayed by their support of Rachel Dolezal, learn your lesson from this.  Watch out for deadbeat black men and white women waiting in the wings to use their privilege as a weapon. Now more than ever I would warn that these groups have the power to do the most damage to black women.

Never forget the power of boundaries. And any time someone asks you to give up something so they can be included to your demise, ask yourself this:  If the tables were turned, if I were a black women who suddenly decided to “identify” as a white woman would I be handed the privileges of a white woman.

I think we all know the answer to this and questions like it.

Until Next time…

 

http://muslimbushido.blogspot.com/2015/06/sovereignty-or-self-immolation-part-1.html

Nine People To Avoid Like The Plague

Image result for biohazard sign

(not my image!)

For those of you who have read my blog, you probably know I’ve written a post about this before. At the time it had to do with the type of people who had the tendency to detract from black women when they were having pertinent conversations amongst themselves.

https://notyourgirlfriday.wordpress.com/2014/03/09/the-chronicles-of-derailment-the-saboteur-the-sad-sack-and-the-sycophant-a-pondering-of-the-psychoanalytic-variety/

This post will focus on the types of people black women should avoid if you’re looking searching for a quality life. I’ve noticed that even though many black women have the makings of a great life, what tends to be the monkey wrench are the type of people black women surround themselves with. Usually in the cases of black women, these people hurt rather than harm.

Naysayers: These people are also known as “Negative nellies” & “negative nicks”. They come in all shapes and sizes but they’re very easy to spot.  For the younger crowd they’re the Chucky Finster of the group. In real life they’re the people who convince black women not travel because of some supposed, always/impending but never seen, disaster. (And no I’m not talking about the people who point out the safety of travelling to particular places, that’s only logical.) The Naysayers could have damn near perfect conditions in nearly any situation and still find something to complain about.  Not only are they an emotional drain and a sensory overload, they’ll have you doubting anything in your life that could be worthwhile.  Suddenly you find yourself deciding not to lose weight after all, not going after that promotion, or buying property that might profit you in the long run.

Beware: Naysayers love to believe that they’re “helping”, “guiding” or being “honest/keeping it real”. The only “real” thing about a Naysayer is how much they need a congregation of Naysayers to keep them going.

I would also be careful of Naysayers simply because you would be surprised at how quick their tune changes when they have something of worth. For example, I recall certain black women actresses naysaying weight loss and health concerns associated with obesity who then showed up 50 pounds lighter, after convincing who knows how many in the masses to follow their deranged thinking.

I would also be extra avoidant of those family members who fit this pattern. As many black women allow family members to have undue influence over them.

Bad Judgement:  Let’s just say that these people are like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re going to get from their bag of “tricks”. These people are the ones that have never shown any ounce of maturity, wisdom or discernment.  These are the people you see in the news who decide to meet a man at a hotel after meeting on PLENTY O’ FISH and having dinner at the waffle house and then being surprised when it goes to the dogs. (Yes this actually happened and a virtual cookie goes to whoever finds the article.) These are the people who move in with a guy after only knowing him months and then finding out after the fact that he was a molester.

These are the people who get sh** faced when they need to get drunk or the people who “casually” do drugs or casually, and without much forethought sleep around. They’re the people who generally don’t think about consequences until it’s too late and after the fact. Or they are the people who stupidly overshare every little detail about their personal lives on the internet in failed attempts to get attention.

Beware:  While it might seem “judgmental” to call out these people I’d call it cautious. For every person that exhibits Chronic Bad Judgment (CBJ) there’s probably two or three that have to pick up the up the pieces when they inevitably come crawling to someone else with their tail between their legs. From the friend that has to listen to the *umpteenth* sob story about what they did while they were drunk to the grandparents that inevitably end up raising the kids of that person who just didn’t consider all the consequences. People suffering with CBJ always end up asking their nearest and dearest to pick up the pieces. Or if they’re really terrible, actually end up blaming you for not “warning them”.

Which brings me to the next person:

 

Drama Queens, Emotional Wrecks, & Guilters (oh my!)

This is a lethal trifecta. For these people, the world is a stage and they are top billing actor/actress. (While the rest of us simply play supporting parts.) If I were to make a professional guess this group is most likely to contain the largest number of narcissists and other similar personality disorders. Regardless, you’ll know one of these when you see them. These people simply love drama. They are the type of people that make bad decisions, not because they didn’t know any better, but because (whether consciously or unconsciously) they need the fuel that drama provides to survive one meaningless day to the next.

They are the type of people who enjoy complaining about every little things because it provides them some sort of emotion (however negative). They are the type of people who are always embroiled in a drama of the week. Or the type of person who loves to rant and rave about their deadbeat boyfriend but won’t *actually* break up with them. Emotional Wrecks are the same way. Like Drama queens they enjoy displaying to the world how angry, sad, happy, mad, touched, offended, etc. they are. For the most part these sort never reach any equilibrium and are very rarely happy unless they are reacting. On the other hand, guilters work in another way. They love to hold what someone else hasn’t done for them (usually whoever is closest) over their head in an attempt to coerce and force the other person to engage in their mostly absurd demands. They believe they are entitled to your resources, time advice, love, sex, money, friendship etc. They believe that if you had simply done something they wouldn’t be in the losing position they are in.

Sidenote: For those who are on certain websites, it’s been impossible to ignore that some people are always enshrouded in #drama. Someone is always getting “betrayed”, everyone is always getting offended, and someone is always on the outs. This is quickly forgotten until the next Drama of the Week arrives. For some, the Drama queen behavior is simply a way to boost page likes and website traffic and fleeting internet fame. For those who stupidly get involved with this foolishness: You are being used.

Beware:  Aside from pulling you into their ish, Drama Queens and Emotional Wrecks are drainers. That is, they are so invested in themselves, and what they think and feel, they are so awed  by the bones that comprise the body, that comprise the cells, that comprise the atoms of themselves that they leave no time for you to ever get anything in return. For black women, especially those who find themselves playing the mule to other people I’d issue a word of caution.  In the past plenty of BWE readers and writers have talked about women of other races who befriend black women and the black women end up the “listeners” or the mammy while they drain whatever they need from black women as they go about their drama.

Drama Queens and Emotional Wrecks are simply looking for someone to listen and usually the nearest body will suffice.  A lot of black women have an issue with feeling sorry for anyone with a sob story and end up being preyed on by men and women alike who are simply there to emote at them.  Do Not Be the Mammy to the Scarlett. Do not let them drag you in. You will know a drama queen or emotional wreck by the way the respond to you. Here is a test, if you begin speaking about your own issues and their jaws go slacked, they suddenly lose interest, their eyes glazed over with pained, forced attentiveness every time you talk to them that is not a coincidence.  Most likely they can’t bear to listen to you because they can’t relate to anyone but themselves.

For guilters, if the majority of your conversations end in some ploy to force you to do something for them they are to be avoided at all costs. These people are out for whoever is dumb enough to let themselves be manipulated because they believe they deserve to have someone else cater to them.  Cut the cord.

Anger Management:

While these argumentative people are entertaining to watch on low budget television from the safety of your own home, I wouldn’t want to be involved with these people on any daily basis. Simply put, these people can’t contain their temper. They are angry! AND THEY WANT YOU TO KNOW, DAMN IT!!!  These people can snap at the drop of a hat, but coincidentally they will always do it when it’s around someone they aren’t intimidated by. These are the type of people who blather about “disrespect” and “pride” only to be taped acting up on World Star Hip Hop for the world to jeer at. These people like attention. They are the ultimate Chihuahua nipping at the heels of everyone around them until they get whatever they feel is coming to them.  They are a loose cannon and to be avoided as soon as you see them coming.

Beware:  More than all the others I would avoid this one. These people are the type to get black women into situations that can quickly leave them drowning. They are the most likely to get you arrested after they assault someone in anger or expect you to go along with them in vandalizing property as “revenge”.  Unless you want 10 to life I’d advise you to avoid them like the plague.

To be noted: Like many abusers these people come in all shapes and sizes and they are very hard to spot because they like to pretend they are not as crazy as they seem.  But sooner or later something will make them blow. This group is also likely to have a high amount of narcissists.

Liars, Cheats, Thieves, Gossipers

Speaking of illegal, these people need to be avoided. Like those with anger management problems this group of people should be shunned. Because they have shown an obvious lack of good judgement and morals with this sort of behavior, it would be foolish to trust these people with anything else.

Beware: This group is a mixed bag. These people seem like normal folk on the outside, they can seems charming and likable but most of the time that is a façade to manipulate others.

 

Time Wasters/Energy Drains

If you’ve ever seen a dog chase his tail you’ll recognize one of these people. These people spend the majority of their time going around in circles. That is, they aren’t going anywhere. These are the people who complain about their dead end job but like to stick with it. They are the people who want to convince you to get drunk instead of doing something more productive or the people who generally are going nowhere at all and are quite content with their “laid back lifestyle”. For the college students they’re the ones who want you to get high with them instead of going to class or the people who refuse to do work for themselves and distract you from your work. (I’ve actually seen this happen in a college course I was taking. Of course the person being distracted by her dead beat friends was a black woman.) They are also the people that convince you to get blackout drunk before a test when you should be studying.

Beware: While these people love to behave as if nothing matters, until something suddenly does. And then all the time you spent going along with their ideas is down the drain and you can’t get it back.

Also noteworthy: For the younger audience that spends a lot of their time on social media: I’ve noticed websites like Tumblr tend to be a black hole of despair where the entire website acts as an emotional leech. I’ve noticed most of the people on websites like tumblr spend the majority of their time, “reblogging” useless “facts”, posting selfies,  hashtaggin #socialjustice and generally celebrating the fact that their lives are going south.

I know (from experience) how easy it is to be pulled into the TW/ED black hole of mindlessness that is Tumblr. I would caution anyone who spends more than an hour on that website (and websites like it) to step back and take a look at the content you’re coming across. A lot (and I would guess upwards of 50%) of the people on that site love to glorify actual illness such as depression, general anxiety, agoraphobia, social anxiety, suicidal tendencies and other personality disorders and other mental illnesses. On websites such as this uses thrive on staying in a mental drain cycle as a way feel unique or special. While many love to talk about how they “identify” very few ever advocate getting help and usually use their “diagnoses” (usually done by themselves) as a talking point for “likes” and internet fame instead of getting whatever help they need.

You will know an emotional drain because while there may be many complaints there will be a lack of proactive behavior. In other words they will stagnate. You will know a time waster (easy to spot on places like Tumblr) because it will generally not add anything of value to your life when all is said and done.

Promiscuous, Drunks and Partiers

It would be one thing if the promiscuous, drunks and partiers liked to go solo. But, like the time wasters and energy drains these people don’t operate that way. The main goal of the PDP police is to patrol other people’s behavior until they can find a willing or, at the very least, reluctant companion. It isn’t enough for these people to enjoy their activities and leave it at that. If they did I wouldn’t have included them.

For anyone who run into one of them, PDP’s (more often than not) have a general air of discontent (and usually fall into another category listed). These people want to make sure that they pull you down with them.  They are the ones who like to pressure you into taking “just one drink” tell you that you need to “loosen up” that you’re a “goody two shoes” if you’re not sexually active or that you need to have multiple partners before you get married and that if you don’t you’ll never have a good married sex life (yes this has actually happened to me). These are the ones that go out of their way to humiliate and deride you until you give in and join their lifestyles and won’t be happy until you’re as low as they are.

Beware: Those engaged in this lifestyle may choose to do so for a number of reasons (usually most of which are unhealthy.)While they may be able to temporarily enjoy themselves, I’ve never seen anyone who is glad that they kept up their lifestyle long term. Many involved in this group need to feel that they aren’t “being judged” and as a result need to pull someone down along with them, or at the very least, deride and mock you, for your choices so they can feel better about themselves.

Helpless/Lazies

If you’ve ever heard the phrase, “you can lead a horse to water but you can’t make it drink” this is probably who it was coined for.  The helpless and lazy couldn’t find their way out of a paper bag with a map. Unfortunately for the black women that get involved with these people they end up picking up the slack.  These are the people who are too lazy to get a job and so they need to borrow money from you or they simply can’t find the right job for them. These are the people who can’t raise their own kids and so they pawn them off on their unsuspecting (usually black grandmothers) while they helplessly float from place to place.

Beware:  This willful stupidity is nothing but an act.  If necessary they probably could do what needed to be done they just enjoy having someone else do it for them because it’s easier. Do not be conned or guilted by people who claim they don’t know how to do anything.

 

Money wasters/Resource wasters

If they were to suddenly win the lottery, inherit from a dead relative, and find a golden goose, Money/Resource wasters would somehow manage to squander it all. The problem with Money wasters is that they are inherently irresponsible with what they have or like to “live like there is no tomorrow.” There is no “planning for the future” no “rainy days” and certainly no “savings”. They love to spend. It doesn’t even have to be useful and it doesn’t even have to be necessary. They are the ones that blow tax refunds on new rims or line the closet with purses instead of investing solidly.

Beware: Black women frequently involve themselves with these people simply because black women always love a down on their luck story. Money wasters/ Resource wasters generally come to whoever is nearest with monetary requests and black women usually have to bear the brunt of loaning money. Do not become a personal bank for people who insist on throwing away anything of quality that they have. And if they begin to guilt you run for the hills.  Black women: I know black women love to give out money for that kickstarter they saw for their aunt’s daughter’s cousin, or loan their boyfriends money to “help a brotha out” (I’ve even found myself doing this with my own family.) Run, don’t walk away.

To my readers: I’m very sorry this post took so long to put up. I’m about to graduate and I’ve been very busy recently and I’ve also been writing a lot.  Hopefully the next post won’t be toolong in coming, (i’m sure it will offend someone). If you want you can join the Facebook page for this blog as I’m on there more than I am on here. I’ll try and do better in the future regarding getting posts out on time.  And feel free let me know if I’ve dropped the ball.

Until Next time,

Stay Neutral🙂

Reader Question

 

Hello everyone,

 

A few months ago I got this email from a reader and I promised I would get back to them.

Here was the question:

Hi, I’ve been following your blog for awhile now and I want to say that I really appreciate your posts. I do not remember how I came across your blog exactly, but it has really helped me validate and consolidate some of my long-held thoughts and observations. I’m 22 years old and I will be starting college soon. I’m going to be studying education, but I’m concerned about that choice of major.  I am wondering if I should study something else that might hold up better in the long-run as teaching is actually my fallback plan. I want to utilize an associates degree in education to teach English abroad. However, it is not a requirement to have a degree in education to teach English abroad. One can have a degree in nearly anything and be qualified to teach English abroad, as long as one gets certified to teach English as a foreign language. So, I am debating whether or not I should get an education degree or study something else that will prove to be more beneficial. What are your thoughts on the current or future value of a degree in education?

 

Hi,

First off I just wanted to apologize as this response was so very long in coming, unfortunately there were many things I simply couldn’t put off.  But here is what I think.  I agree that it’s a good idea to major in something that isn’t education. Like you said it smart to have a degree that isn’t education as it isn’t required to be a teacher. I know from experience as my mother is teacher and she majored in a foreign language although she still got a teaching credential. At the moment she does not teach the foreign language so I know it’s definitely not necessary as you mentioned.

I think you’re being very smart by looking towards something that can hold up in the long run just in case teaching doesn’t work out. I don’t know if you have any interest in sciences or medicine or nursing? I can’t speak on the value of having a degree in education but I wills say that it seems a bit redundant to have a degree in a field that you don’t need to become a teacher. Especially when it is your fall back. I believe that your plan is very well thought out and it can never hurt to keep your options open.

To all other readers please leave your thoughts below if you agree or disagree as I believe that having more than one perspective can really help. I might be totally off the mark or have missed a key piece of information.

 

Until Next time,
Stay Neutral